EXPLICIT LANGUAGE: Lyss Stern, Author of MOTHERHOOD IS A B#TCH
[0:00]Welcome to mom's don't have time to read books, the podcast that features conversations
[0:15]with writers of all types.
[0:17]Today's episode of mom's don't have time to read books has been sponsored by the craft studio,
[0:21]craft studio NYC.com, let loose and craft with locations on the upper side in Tribeca.
[0:27]The craft studio is the perfect place to bring your kids, paint pottery, and kill a bunch of time.
[0:33]It's amazing.
[0:35]I'm thrilled to be interviewing lists stern today.
[0:37]List stern is the author of motherhood is a bitch, and if you give a mom a martini,
[0:42]she's the CEO of develiciousmoms, develomoms.com, a national New York City-based marketing
[0:48]and event company.
[0:49]The former editor-in-chief of the observer playground, which was the parenting magazine of the
[0:53]New York observer, which by the way I used to write for, lists has served as a media correspondent
[0:57]for CNBC, the Today Show, MSNBC, and others.
[1:01]A graduate of Syracuse University with master's degrees from NYU and Hunter
[1:05]in both communications and early childhood education.
[1:09]List is now the ultimate NYC parenting connector.
[1:12]So welcome, Liz, thanks so much for doing the show.
[1:16]Of course, thanks for having me on.
[1:18]Love the podcast.
[1:20]Oh, thank you.
[1:20]I love your book.
[1:21]It was like, how did I not read this before?
[1:23]It's like the steps to making my life livable.
[1:27]I only say everybody's three this book, whether you're first time on,
[1:32]seven-time, seven-time boss, whether you know you're beginning to begin,
[1:37]end stage interview, whatever, whatever, when stage appearance that you are in or about to go into.
[1:45]Whenever I read a book to prepare for an interview, I dog you a page where there's something
[1:50]that I want to remember or I want to come back to.
[1:52]You should see the book because like every other page is now turned over.
[1:58]It looks like, you know, some sort of, you know, Asian fan of some kind.
[2:01]So anyway, that's right.
[2:08]So let's start with how you even decided to do this book and everything.
[2:12]You did such a great job in the book explaining how you kind of hit bottom.
[2:16]You had a mom on the street who thought you were pregnant when you weren't,
[2:19]which I'm sure every mother has had happened to her.
[2:22]I know I have.
[2:23]And then how you decided to live your life differently afterwards,
[2:27]and how you basically just decided to be a bitch.
[2:29]So can you tell me what this is?
[2:31]Only if it's to be defined what's going to work, bitch, into both means.
[2:35]Yes.
[2:35]We'll do that after.
[2:36]Okay.
[2:36]So yeah, basically three kids, three of her age is one going in the page,
[2:42]but we're going into middle school and going into pre-K.
[2:44]So in my mind, I always like to create different places at all times.
[2:47]And I asked her to be, asked her how do you do this for?
[2:51]From both county anymore, she's for.
[2:52]But I, I didn't move already anyway.
[2:56]And so I think you probably not have gotten to the forefront of my life at that time.
[3:01]And she had other things going on.
[3:03]She had two kids who had that business.
[3:05]I kind of remember how to go a little bit.
[3:07]Some people got all right.
[3:09]But with that being said, when you put in this woman on the street,
[3:11]you put it aside, you're a pretty brat.
[3:14]She's a kind of brat job.
[3:15]Okay, you know, I have a group job.
[3:17]I can't write a bunch of all that, but that's all good, right?
[3:20]I'm not sure if they look at me, but she says me, you know, she's one.
[3:22]You know, I was good, she's got it.
[3:32]You see, you can't be quite bad.
[3:40]We didn't write that piece.
[3:42]I remember also, um, I mean, my girlfriend,
[3:45]my nurse, I wrote that quite a lot.
[3:49]She didn't get a friend in the mind.
[3:50]And she had a teenage girl.
[3:52]And we were just talking about the motherhood,
[3:54]like white TV, and I was talking about that.
[3:57]I had to get on track with my weight.
[3:58]I'm eating and all that stuff.
[4:00]And I just learned to do that.
[4:01]And what do you mean, she's like,
[4:06]that you are going to take a journey,
[4:12]and you're going to learn to carry yourself first.
[4:15]And you were going to learn how to say no to people,
[4:17]and you're going to become a bitch.
[4:20]You know, that's the same thing.
[4:26]But, you know, my husband's saying that stuff
[4:28]is a piece of control.
[4:29]And that's the piece of me, the piece.
[4:32]It's really hard.
[4:33]And every day is hard.
[4:35]But we as mothers need to take a step out
[4:38]and learn and self-care for us.
[4:40]It's equally as important
[4:41]as taking care of our kids.
[4:42]And sometimes it's really hard to get home.
[4:44]We're working and we're mixed with everything
[4:46]and people going through supports
[4:48]and some people are starting to see it again.
[4:50]People are not, but I'm not going to add up.
[4:53]People are not going to have to go in there.
[4:55]Wherever it may be, there's always something going on.
[4:57]But then we never get to getting a kid into school,
[5:02]getting a kid to be constantly something and struggling.
[5:06]I know so appreciate what I would say,
[5:09]which other than 100 in one ball is this one,
[5:11]trying to not let one drop.
[5:13]So that's where the book, the subtitle is 10 steps
[5:20]to regaining your sanity, sexiness, and inner diva.
[5:24]And then for step one of these 10 steps,
[5:27]you have this really cute acronym for Bitch,
[5:30]which I feel bad like saying over and over again.
[5:32]Like I'm like going to be in trouble with my kids.
[5:34]I have to like put money in the jar for this interview.
[5:37]Okay, so B is B, the woman you want to be.
[5:40]I is an initiate.
[5:42]T is time out.
[5:44]C is care and H is help.
[5:47]So tell me what these basically mean
[5:50]and how they can change my life as a mom.
[5:53]Like what do I absolutely need to do to reclaim my sanity?
[5:56]Well, I think I'm going to be going out of this project
[5:59]and then the B-I-T-D study is putting that down there.
[6:03]But what I think that I do,
[6:04]I tell women to be in mom every day,
[6:06]we'll get talking in there in the morning,
[6:07]first being in the morning.
[6:08]And whether you're coming out of the shower,
[6:10]whether you're in the first work,
[6:11]we'll be watching your face on the seat.
[6:12]And we're going to mirror it.
[6:13]And we'll be talking to you back person.
[6:17]We're going to mirror who is that mom,
[6:19]who is that person that you want to be today?
[6:22]Do you want to be that hiring mom?
[6:23]Do you want to be that hiring mom?
[6:24]Do you want to be that happy mom?
[6:26]Do you want to be that sexy mom today?
[6:27]Do you want to be that certain safe course today?
[6:32]I'm going to be a kid on my meeting,
[6:35]kind of right about today.
[6:37]I'm going to invite an article from us.
[6:39]But look at the mirror straight on and look
[6:40]to see this is going to be an issue.
[6:45]That is an issue who you want to be.
[6:46]Can't just say you're going to do it.
[6:48]You actually have to take on, for me, personally,
[6:52]and I don't know about you, but it's key.
[6:54]The time out is most important.
[6:56]I think every day, taking a time out,
[7:02]a money time out of it on T.F.
[7:04]And just something just for yourself.
[7:06]Whether it is going for a walk down the block,
[7:09]whether it's going to be a friendly coffee shop,
[7:12]whether it's going literally into a corner
[7:14]and standing on your head with a handstand,
[7:16]whether it's doing yoga, whether it's meditating,
[7:18]whatever it may be, take 10 to 15 months
[7:20]and everybody can do it.
[7:22]And something that I'm from, June, Amber,
[7:24]as she says, wait for the board to wait.
[7:26]Meaning, wait for a few minutes earlier
[7:28]than all the kids are waking up.
[7:29]And do something just for yourself.
[7:31]Perhaps it's just kind of a cup of tea
[7:33]in the newspaper, but do that something
[7:36]for yourself because the rest of the day
[7:38]is only going to be taken away from you,
[7:39]and it's really important to have that time out.
[7:42]And then if we see the care,
[7:44]we can care in about our kids,
[7:50]we can care in about our families.
[7:51]I mean, but a mother, our father, our father, our father,
[7:54]our cousins, our aunt, our uncle,
[7:56]who is the wee of mother is going to care for us
[7:58]and care about everybody else.
[8:00]Sometimes, though, you know, we can step back a little
[8:03]for what about me and I was falling apart
[8:05]and I wasn't feeling well.
[8:07]I wasn't taking care of myself.
[8:08]So I think the first story again was before I'm kid 14 years ago.
[8:21]I thought, in my mind, I could do it all.
[8:24]Right?
[8:24]I said, well, I'd like to, you know,
[8:27]I'd like to envision that like,
[8:28]well, I don't want to be that pretty inhuman person.
[8:38]I want to be able to do the best that I can,
[8:41]but I also want to ask for help
[8:42]and not be scared to answer help.
[8:44]You can still reason that anybody
[8:46]should be ashamed of scared to ask for help.
[8:48]And now, you can just have that in health if you can,
[8:51]but I don't need to be lucky.
[8:59]There are some things that I say, yeah.
[9:04]I like it.
[9:05]I feel like sometimes when I ask for help,
[9:07]by the time I go through all the things that I need
[9:09]to make that help happen,
[9:10]I could have just done whatever it was myself.
[9:12]Do you ever feel that way?
[9:14]Yes, yes, I do.
[9:15]I can't remember some kind of people
[9:16]and they're like, oh, but I can't worry about me
[9:18]or I can't worry about me better.
[9:20]I mean, I don't have time to do that.
[9:22]I can't go out at night or I can't go, you know,
[9:24]I can't go to a movie or I can't go outside of my house.
[9:27]Oh, he said, not going to buy you the back of you
[9:36]in our half hour day, 45 minutes of this time
[9:39]so that you can go out and do something.
[9:41]And especially as a new mom,
[9:43]like for those first few weeks of an age at home,
[9:45]I think it's things you'd something just been to.
[9:51]Because that baby takes over your whole entire life
[9:54]and nothing is really important.
[9:56]Yeah, good advice.
[9:57]By the way, when you said, look in the mirror in the morning.
[10:00]decide which woman you want to be. Like there are definitely days where I've woken up and I've
[10:04]realized when I'm at school drop-off that I have yet to look in the mirror. No it's true. I mean
[10:11]not all the time but it has happened before where I like run to the ladies' room at drop-off and I was
[10:16]like oh my gosh I haven't even brushed my hair. I mean normally I can get it together and normally
[10:22]I feel like I look pretty put together but you know some more things to just get the better
[10:27]me so. There are many mornings with the people that go on the areas of the bun and you know
[10:32]your work drop-off that's the way that it is. I like setting that you know
[10:44]early in the morning. Even just not letting the day happen to you but you know from the outset
[10:49]trying to have a strategy like how you're going to approach the day. We have it a lot. You know
[10:55]have to talk about it. It's so cute. Really I know it's so hard. But keeping a calendar and keeping a
[11:00]family calendar and going different schedules especially when you're working mom you know really
[11:06]you got to keep to it and you have to just keep focused and you have to learn to say no and we'll
[11:11]talk about that later on. It's also really cute. Yeah absolutely right. In your time for a new mindset
[11:19]section you wrote something I just have to read out loud so people can hear this. I spent you
[11:25]said I spent a few years in therapy there. I said it. Although not a lot of women will talk about
[11:30]it so have they. How many women do you know who are popping antidepressants and or out of end like
[11:35]candy? More than you think. Why? Because we're unhappy. We're stressed to the breaking point.
[11:40]We may smile but it's all bull. I'm grinning from ear to ear right now and I'm pissed as hell that
[11:45]my kid is interrupting me while I'm trying to write for five freaking minutes. But I'm smiling.
[11:50]That was hilarious. I could like see you sitting there doing that whole thing.
[11:56]So in your mind. So what do you think? Why do you think moms like us are so stressed these days
[12:01]whereas like I don't feel like my mom and my grandmother were stressed at all. Who can we blame? Who
[12:07]can we blame for this? Let's point some fingers. Let's blame for that. So let's blame. How about that?
[12:15]What's social media? I think a lot of pressure from social media. I'm talking about social media.
[12:24]The 14 year old meal. I know that social media. But a lot of it's mostly mirrors. But I think that
[12:33]so many women and moms are teenagers. They go to social media, they go to Instagram, they go to all
[12:38]these different things that they see. I'm just saying these perfect families and these perfect lives.
[12:43]We all know we're not perfecters are cooking and yet they work you know happening out in these
[12:49]rivers and they have you know but yet everything in our home is perfect. And I think there's just a
[12:55]lot of extra pressure today that we're going to put along themselves where our mothers didn't have
[13:03]that. There was no social media back in the day. I hate the word perfect. I think it's the worst word
[13:12]in the world. I don't know what anybody like she can clean out a visionary. But I think so many
[13:17]women today, they look at the magazines, right? You look at the cover of the magazine. Beyonce
[13:22]just had a baby and three weeks later, I'm just saying she's back on the cover of a magazine or
[13:27]each reality story on how to baby two weeks ago. Yes, she's in it. You know, Tom is in the perfect
[13:33]perfect, perfect boots on a cover of a magazine. This isn't real. You know so I think that a lot of
[13:39]I think there's a lot of social pressures from mom that don't feel like they're giving us to what they're
[13:47]seeing whether it's on TV or social media. I think you're right. I think also I'm just going to throw
[13:56]my two cents in here. Yeah, of course. Because I was trying to evaluate this myself. Yeah, I think just
[14:02]all the electronics, not just the social media but the fact that so much can be done so quickly
[14:07]means that we have to do it that way. Like my mom had a date book, right? I just wrote an article about
[14:12]this. Like my mom had a red leather date book and she kept it like on the kitchen counter and scribbled
[14:17]in it when we had a play day. Like she didn't have the ability to bring her phone places and, you
[14:23]know, sync it 15 times and make play dates and send play to requests. And I don't know. It was all just
[14:27]like slower and easier. And now we can email like, I don't know. It's just too much. Like if she missed
[14:33]the book. I mean, you know, you know, you know, you know, parents and everybody has been hanging
[14:42]about something or, you know, what we were trying to find them can't even go on for hours and days
[14:48]about about, you know, like, I don't know, something or maybe, you know, like in a picture,
[14:52]but they still have a kid and can't. I mean, I'm extra, because too much information,
[14:57]I think being thrown it up at all times. Yeah, I think it's kind of that, yeah, I agree. You know,
[15:01]you can kind of know you have a lot to do with it. And I think, you know, I don't know
[15:05]that you've been at night. I put my try from my phone into your different room like an kitchen
[15:10]or I'm trying to put it like on the other side of my bedroom. Because I know from that,
[15:14]when I first started that, and by that phone, again, I was good at working through the morning,
[15:23]checking in on emails and checking, working really important for us, mom, just that time to put
[15:36]that phone down. Totally. Now, you know, it's hard, but I think sometimes we have to do it.
[15:42]No, you're absolutely right. I think too, you know, you just be pertinent. I know someone's
[15:47]here for me to say, okay, well, everybody, I'm not saying everybody's your phone down. But
[15:53]their time, though, you know, a lot of articles being written about it, that you need to see
[15:59]that they're parent to present, not just sitting there on a beach or on that phone the whole time,
[16:04]you know, talking in a friend or looking at Instagram or whatever they're in,
[16:07]or speaking for them to part with their kids, but both you can bring the phone, but you got
[16:13]something to present there. Totally. But don't put the phone down now, listeners,
[16:18]or you won't be able to hear this podcast. Do it later. You can toss it out the window, but
[16:25]not yet. Not yet. So just as switch gears a little, I found the part that you wrote about your
[16:34]dad and your relationship with him and how he was undergoing chemotherapy when you were growing up
[16:39]to be just so moving and so open. And I really, really appreciate that you shared that in the
[16:45]story. I feel like it opened up a whole new side of you and I'm happy, you know, I've done you
[16:50]first such a long time. I didn't even know that. I feel like it. I don't know. I'm really glad
[16:54]you shared it. So thank you. And you say in your book that you, so you learned basically that
[17:02]life wasn't fair from an early age. That was your takeaway because, you know, all your friends
[17:06]dads were there and, you know, why was your dad the one coming home, throwing up, which is just
[17:10]heartbreaking. And eventually, although we overcame that part of the disease, he eventually used to come
[17:17]to Safajillo Cancer years later when he was 66. And you ended up going away on a retreat after
[17:24]he passed away. Because you say in the book that you hadn't mourned properly, which I feel like
[17:29]that way is putting so much pressure on yourself. Like, I'm thinking, God, is there a right way to
[17:33]mourn? But anyway, you started having like all these physical, medical type issues as a result
[17:39]because our bodies, you know, we can't fool them for that long. So I just wondered, and that was
[17:43]started. That was a really long introduction to this question. But, you know, how do you think that
[17:48]your dad's sickness has shaped you into, you know, who you've become basically? So, okay, so
[17:55]what do you think? And I was younger. I, you know, it was, it was very hard for me. Again, when my friends
[18:01]have always felt the other ones that were around there, and my dad was finding out it's been
[18:06]a lot of time in the teenager. He said when I was younger, he was three, he had questions, and he said,
[18:11]there's many memories of that before I kind of cut her in. But when I was 16, he was out
[18:15]doing it there. I remember jiggly, you know, spending a lot of time in some kind of hearing,
[18:20]I remember, and kind of heard, good. And I remember thinking that, you know, I remember seeing
[18:28]my mom, like one of them, I call my mom and my girlfriend, and her aunt told us that it was him,
[18:33]and I was terrible crying in the truth. But, you know, she doesn't know how to really get
[18:37]into it. And she put my nail polish tips and blah, blah, blah. And again, it wasn't
[18:42]like, you know, that's in her mind that she had to spend the working time in your 16, you're
[18:49]going to go out on date, and you know how else she has, right? And I remember going into my
[18:53]mom, and then she said, I'm crying. And my heart's like, you know what, let's, I believe,
[18:58]it's a great effort to make you stronger. I understand that. I think that it makes you just
[19:12]you have a younger sister who I need to be there for. I need to be strong. And I think that it made
[19:19]me a lot stronger. But going back to the morning part, I need to tell you, I need to know
[19:24]where we are, where we are more. But I think what happens to me was as a parent, and then I thought,
[19:30]you know, she ain't going to pass away a question with those men. And he got me that much
[19:36]stinker at the middle of the term. And then the reason that he passed away, we had this funeral,
[19:41]we got a shadow, and his vision, I don't know what to do. And then it was like, oh, back to,
[19:47]I just worked back to, I didn't really, I personally, I don't think I'd spent enough time
[19:55]to really more. And that was an event. I mean, I've got to go to the one where we, you know,
[20:00]but for me personally, I think I needed just a little bit more time because I just went
[20:07]back and boom, everything, just the way that it was to give it, which I'm pretty sure.
[20:12]And to make a long story short, I also, what happened to me was I started, again, I wasn't
[20:19]properly eating. I was an estrogen, more than taking care of myself. I wasn't feeling
[20:24]well. I was getting very, very good urinary tract infection. I know it wasn't from, you
[20:30]know, it's all you have to do now or not, more out of that.
[20:34]And because I just, I believe it was the strength that was eating up inside, I just
[20:40]internally, I was keeping it in front of me and I think that urinary tract infection
[20:45]can be caught by a lot of trust. Meaning that what happened was I started going
[20:51]to all these different doctors. I went, they sent me a specialist in there with any,
[20:55]because I'd get one and then I'd go away and I'd have another one the next day and I'd
[20:59]know that you're not, you know, they suppose and do come back when you get a patient
[21:04]not normal with it, it can come back. I think it's always,
[21:07]but another specialist makes it better than you for cats getting into MRI.
[21:11]And you need this, you need that. And then you're going to need to do come in.
[21:14]And I'm going to need to put you under, and I'm going to need to do something with more
[21:17]cats than you, and I'm seeing them all.
[21:20]Okay, I like to go to take a deeper breath. But why don't you go on a treat where he
[21:26]you're in there yourself. And just like for you to any of this, which you're not going
[21:31]to have to do, I just go on and go to the retreat. And make a long story for my father
[21:36]from college, I should disturb any business, because it's called Grand City.
[21:40]And it's a bursher than you go to the community, they're about yoga, wellness.
[21:45]And the month you know what I'm saying, yeah, I'm going to have to do this for myself.
[21:49]And I went and I sat down with somebody and I told them,
[21:54]it's feeling how it's sluggish, you know, we went out of mine.
[21:57]My food strategy, my food that I was eating at was parallel,
[22:01]that weren't healthy too many sugar, food.
[22:04]I wasn't exercising, blah, blah, blah, blah.
[22:07]As I'm eating there, I just got so much there.
[22:11]But I thought it was the healthy eating with the walking, with the exercising.
[22:15]And another go on a hike up to the mountain, and we got to the counter,
[22:20]mountain, as someone who's finally been traveling there,
[22:23]and I remember standing at a moment here.
[22:26]And it answered me, she was like, it was a big rock up there.
[22:30]And I sat down on the rocks and started crying.
[22:33]So I was just like, it was like my breaking point.
[22:36]And he ate rock bottom at that moment.
[22:39]You know, and he was like, don't worry, but I'm just going to all these emotions
[22:43]and feelings coming out of me, taking care of myself.
[22:49]But I really, I can't do this.
[22:52]And I need to, I need to come out, bitch.
[22:55]And I need to work to say no.
[22:57]And I need to go to the ocean.
[22:58]And I can't do everything for everyone at once, all the time anymore.
[23:02]And once you've put, you know, goes along and exercise class.
[23:06]And I need to start eating healthier.
[23:08]And I remember walking into my apartment,
[23:10]like that may have been a means of how that is going to be amazing.
[23:16]And then I'm going to have to make changes here in the house,
[23:18]because if I'm not, if I'm not happy inside the apartment, happy,
[23:23]then the cute group together may have been older.
[23:26]How do I?
[23:27]How do I?
[23:28]How do I?
[23:29]And I need to make money to be better for myself and very kids.
[23:32]They know not being there to ever be gifted.
[23:41]Yes, yes, yes, no, or thinking to everybody.
[23:43]I can't be.
[23:44]Yes, no, everybody.
[23:46]That's so inspiring.
[23:52]Thank you for that.
[23:53]I needed that.
[23:54]Sure.
[23:55]No, you know, we just get so consistent.
[23:57]Everything and everything.
[23:59]And sometimes as well as really important.
[24:05]And I hear that so many times or more.
[24:08]But I don't have time or, you know, I hate it.
[24:11]Why is it eating all the cute, keep a healthy refrigerator?
[24:16]No, it goes to the home store by healthy food
[24:20]as it is divided by the junk food.
[24:21]I'm good and not to eat their grilled cheese crust
[24:26]or their hand to pizza.
[24:27]You know, but everybody wants the pizza.
[24:29]Of course, I'm not saying that.
[24:30]But I'm just saying it may serve me in little changes
[24:33]and then keep it changes eventually.
[24:35]I just started peeling.
[24:37]I started peeling so much better.
[24:39]I started having energy.
[24:40]And I wasn't only white and tired of it.
[24:43]I started eating a little bit better.
[24:46]I really started to see changes.
[24:48]That's great.
[24:50]My recent nod to trying to get everybody to eat healthier is
[24:53]instead of having snacks from the grocery.
[24:55]I'm only going to buy snacks from the health food store.
[24:57]If they come from the health store, they can't be that bad.
[25:00]Right?
[25:01]I think it's a great idea.
[25:03]I think it must, you know, anything our children learn from us
[25:06]right where the role models.
[25:08]So I think that if we're eating healthier,
[25:10]they're going to eat healthier.
[25:12]People are dating.
[25:13]We'll have to get my kids enrolled from the vegetable.
[25:15]Because we always come from the health.
[25:18]That's what we've got.
[25:19]So we keep them in the health.
[25:20]You have to be good.
[25:21]But in the case, people are eating fruits and vegetables.
[25:24]We're always eating them.
[25:26]I'll try.
[25:27]I'll try to do that too.
[25:29]I don't think you're going to get everything out.
[25:32]You've got everything out of that.
[25:33]You've got everything out of that.
[25:34]I get it.
[25:35]I get it.
[25:36]When you eat fruits, they leave for both people.
[25:37]So I have the first.
[25:38]Yes.
[25:39]I agree.
[25:40]Yeah.
[25:42]So let's switch gears.
[25:43]So before you dig too deep into my terrible diet these days.
[25:47]In your, in your next step, your other.
[25:50]You have another chapter called Get Your Shit Together.
[25:58]So I now owe another, you know, dollar in the, in the cursing drawer.
[26:02]You talk, you talk a lot about men and their limitations.
[26:06]And you say in particular, and I'm going to quote here,
[26:08]men are not meant to be multitasking.
[26:10]Their minds just don't work that way.
[26:12]So that leaves me and no one, I'm sorry.
[26:14]That leaves me and only me to cope with a mountain of to-do's that
[26:17]must get done.
[26:18]Is it fair?
[26:19]Of course not.
[26:20]No one said motherhood was fair.
[26:21]So that was your quote.
[26:23]And I have to say when I read that two nights ago,
[26:26]I was sitting on the couch with my, with my son who's 11.
[26:29]And I had read him a couple of my recent articles,
[26:32]which he was enjoying listening to, which was shocking to me.
[26:35]And at the same time, he was watching Monday Night Football on TV.
[26:38]And I said at the end, I was like, you know, that was so sweet of you for
[26:41]listening to my articles tonight.
[26:43]And he's like, ah, you know what?
[26:45]I call it multitasking.
[26:46]And I was like, are you kidding?
[26:50]You're sitting on the couch watching football.
[26:53]And I'm literally reading you something.
[26:55]Like you're doing nothing.
[26:56]Anyway.
[26:57]So.
[26:58]He hit mine.
[26:59]He hit mine.
[27:00]He was.
[27:01]He wasn't.
[27:02]He wasn't.
[27:03]I could see that was a challenge.
[27:06]So and I do believe I really do think that it is harder not for all men,
[27:10]but for some men to really master that ability that there's women,
[27:15]a lot of us sort of have to do like there's just no choice.
[27:18]There's like eight million things going on all the time.
[27:21]And then you also go on to say how, you know, ironically,
[27:26]the more you depend on the men to do some of the stuff around the house or
[27:30]that you need to get done.
[27:31]One of the things on the task list, the more they actually feel valued.
[27:36]And then you call it chor play, which is adorable and so funny.
[27:39]And it can actually help your sex life do.
[27:42]So tell me, tell me more about this whole thing.
[27:46]She was.
[27:47]I just think it's in general.
[27:48]This is just not just about to have speak general for my friends that I talked to.
[27:53]Wait in general.
[27:54]That's the man.
[27:55]The whole complaint is that they just can't only have women.
[28:01]We do it all.
[28:02]But again, we get a lot of that.
[28:04]We need to talk to you together.
[28:07]We, you know, whatever it is.
[28:10]Whatever it is.
[28:11]He was a teacher.
[28:12]Yes.
[28:13]I'm talking to you.
[28:14]I'm talking about they don't do anything.
[28:16]First of all, I feel like women just do it all.
[28:19]We never think about it.
[28:20]It's just like, oh, get me to clean.
[28:22]I need to do the water.
[28:23]I'll need to clean fat.
[28:24]I can just, because if we don't do it, it doesn't get done.
[28:27]Like, yeah, it can be time.
[28:29]What I noticed is, when I would ask my husband, how do you know future mentors?
[28:41]He's making more of that.
[28:45]Somebody shouldn't have helped over the weekends.
[28:53]And there's no money coming home.
[29:08]Let me get you a shower and get straight to my friends.
[29:13]I'm going to go, oh, it's here.
[29:14]I'm going to open it.
[29:15]I'm going to open it.
[29:35]I'm not going to do that.
[29:36]I'm going to just do that.
[29:37]I'm going to take me to do that.
[29:38]And I'm going to make it.
[29:39]And then there's no important that we need to tell you
[29:47]to our husband or to make it other.
[29:49]Really sit here and talk to you all day long.
[29:57]But we're coming to the end.
[29:59]We'll see you next time.
[30:00]to ask just like another question or two before I pass my, um, uh, so tell me what's going
[30:07]on with diva mom's these days. So you started devolicious moms. I can't remember in what year
[30:12]I should have written it down. And that's an entry that I should have known because your son is
[30:18]is born to anyway. Um, so what is it now? How, what where do you see it going? You have like
[30:24]bazillion members following you. You do events. You do everything. Tell me, tell listeners a little
[30:29]more about it. You do come during marketing and company tomorrow. Um, where we get fired by
[30:35]company, whether it's the game, bicycle is coming out, whether it's the news, whatever it is.
[30:40]You run through it. I think it's a movie, it is a book. Um, and where we throughout market is
[30:45]the month through our daddy and social media, or also, um, whether we're posting an event or a company,
[30:52]whether we're drawing a party. Um, and then also she's working on working on another book right
[30:57]now. And we're kind of children's book. Yeah, that's why we got her some weight people in
[31:03]talking to you. So I've been doing trying to feel that and they've been working on another book. Um,
[31:09]for mom, um, all intubing different moms all over the stuff right now getting the proposal ready.
[31:26]But we had it. And I'm also working on two different projects. Um, actually with my sister,
[31:31]my husband, my husband's in the entertainment industry. He's the manager and producer. Um, and one of
[31:37]of which is a strong traumatic comedy about my mother, who's the complete character, hanging
[31:46]with Matt about to the show. It's called hashtag Matt about. Um, um, we, uh, these were married
[31:55]in 45 years. Um, and her, like, becoming a technology and social media, um, her, she's been
[32:05]her two daughters and her grandchildren. And it was quite something, uh, to take it very late. So
[32:09]we're, you know, working on that. And then we're also working on a, uh,
[32:14]stuff you got to show about one of my friends started. We should really play. I'm not going to
[32:20]give it away yet, but, um, we're just, we're starting to take meetings with that. So we can see,
[32:25]but working more of just getting into the exception side of the thing. Um, and we're seeing this.
[32:31]Wow. That sounds awesome. I'm totally watching that show. I have some pretty funny characters in my
[32:36]life as well. So that sounds amazing. I wouldn't even ask how you have time to do anything,
[32:42]but, um, uh, clearly you have time to do this podcast. So thank you so much for doing it.
[32:50]Poor. Thank you so much for having me. I'm so glad you're welcome to that. And really all the
[32:54]month, month was the name. Motherhood is up. She's become that woman that you want to be at
[33:04]for yourself. Have a great day. Okay. Thanks. You too. Bye. Bye. This episode of mom's don't have time
[33:19]to read books has been brought to you by the craft studio craft studio NYC dot org. Check it out
[33:25]online or go visit their up to your side or try back the locations. Thanks.