Special Episode: Zibby Owens, Writer/Podcaster, "At a Bat Mitzvah the Night of the Pittsburgh Shooting, Celebration Mixed with Sorrow"
[0:00]Hi, I'm Zibi Owens, and this is Mom's Don't Have Time to Read Books.
[0:04]I'm doing a special sort of broadcast, if you will, today.
[0:07]It's Sunday, and yesterday was the Pittsburgh shooting massacre,
[0:13]and I just couldn't let time go on without addressing it in some way.
[0:17]I wrote an article that I published on Kveller.com, K-V-E-L-L-E-R.
[0:22]Kveller.com, called At about Mitzvah the Night of the Pittsburgh shooting.
[0:26]Celebration mixed with sorrow.
[0:28]So I know I'm not one of the authors that I usually interview,
[0:32]but I do a lot of freelance writing, and I've tried some books.
[0:35]So I wanted to read my essay in the hopes that it will help any of you out there listening tonight,
[0:42]and that it might help just put this into context, or make you feel a little better.
[0:47]That's all.
[0:48]Last night, I went to about Mitzvah, just a few hours after a dozen fellow Jews in Pittsburgh
[0:53]were brutally murdered during a brisket.
[0:56]I remember the braces of my two sons like they were yesterday.
[0:59]The pride I felt, the fear of hurting my newborn during this religious and medical ritual,
[1:04]the warmth of my family, gathered around us like a cocoon, the comforting sounds of Hebrew prayers.
[1:09]With every Jewish tradition, I always feel the reverberations of history,
[1:13]the echoes of all the boys' cries that have come before my own sons' braces.
[1:17]The idea that one hateful man could enter another's, another family's sacred moment,
[1:22]in a synagogue, no less, a place so sacred I won't even enter without wearing a skirt,
[1:27]and slaughter the participants in cold blood is impossible for me to comprehend, and yet it happened.
[1:32]As my husband and I sat in our study watching the news footage of the worst attack on Jews in American history yesterday,
[1:38]away from the prying eyes of my four innocent children, we talked about the horror of it all.
[1:43]Maybe no but Mitzvah tonight, my husband said, is it even safe to go?
[1:47]We have to go, I said.
[1:48]Not only did I want to be there to support my dear friends, firstborn daughter,
[1:52]and a family that has gone through its own set of challenges, but I needed to be there.
[1:56]There were no other threats the devil was caught, and how could we not?
[1:59]In the cabaret to the butte mitzvah that evening, with my two older kids, eleven-year-old twins,
[2:03]I decided I had to tell them what happened.
[2:05]I wanted to shield them from the news as long as possible,
[2:08]but I thought it would probably come up in the hub-dollar service that evening.
[2:11]I wanted to shield them forever, from everything.
[2:14]While rain pelted on the roof of the cab, the dark sky enveloping us, my son responded by taking a deep breath.
[2:20]He shook his head and asked, is anything like that going to happen here in New York?
[2:23]I responded honestly, I hope not love.
[2:27]During the ceremony, at a beautifully decorated event space, seated on Lucite chairs,
[2:31]watching my friends radiant, brilliant daughter, delight in her big moment,
[2:35]her confidence, poise, and happiness emanating from the bema.
[2:38]I found myself crying throughout, not just for my own personal reasons related to this particular family.
[2:43]I also cried for what had just happened that day.
[2:46]I got goosebumps on my arms, imagining so many other bar-butt mitzvahs going on that night.
[2:50]The boys and girls around the world were citing the age-old Torah portions.
[2:54]The Hebrew letters floating above us, like a cartoon, with loss coursing throughout.
[2:58]As I stood to recite the mourners' cottage, I tried to stop the tears long enough to chant.
[3:02]It's gudol, viet kadash, shimayrba.
[3:05]My daughter looked up and took my hand in hers, even stroking my arm a bit.
[3:09]She had, uncharacteristically, placed her preteen head on my shoulder for most of the service,
[3:14]sensing my distress.
[3:15]Y'hayrshmeirrba, mivarakle, alam, ooh almai almaya.
[3:20]What a time to be able to mourn with others in the community.
[3:23]I prayed silently for so much for the families of those who had lost their lives,
[3:28]for the Pittsburgh community, for my Jewish community around the world, for our country.
[3:32]I sang all the prayers and recited the familiar blessings, the lullabies of my culture.
[3:37]At the end, I wiped away my tears, a tissue procured from a fellow mom behind me, hugged my kids and husband close and headed for the celebration.
[3:45]Before dinner began, the DJ asked all the kids to come on to the dance floor.
[3:49]I started dancing with them all in a circle.
[3:51]My husband yelled over the music, you know, for the only grown-ups out here, right?
[3:54]I think this is just for kids.
[3:56]I didn't care.
[3:57]I danced next to my daughter in the crowd.
[3:59]I had to.
[4:00]Once the horror began, I was in the inner circle, hand in hand with friends and family,
[4:04]surrounded by circles of strangers, raising our arms as we toasted the butmits of a girl.
[4:08]Have a nigella, have a.
[4:10]I took part in all of it, smiling, laughing, and celebrating the beautiful, strong, brave butmits of a girl as she cemented herself firmly in the Jewish tradition.
[4:19]The timing of this event will shape her as so much else has in her young life.
[4:23]I was privileged to be a part of it, to show my kids that nothing will get in the way of celebrating our Jewish traditions.
[4:29]Our community is stronger than that, and always has been.
[4:32]Haters going to hate, but we're not going to be deterred.
[4:35]Not our country either.
[4:37]One man's horrific decision will not tear us apart.
[4:40]I am so grateful that last night I also had the ability to toast all that is right in the world.
[4:45]Love, compassion, family, friends, the indomitable human spirit, rituals, tradition, community,
[4:53]and yet again to never forget.