Biz Ellis, YOU'RE DOING A GREAT JOB
[0:00]Hi, I'm Zibi Owens, and you're listening to Momstone Have Time to Read Books.
[0:12]This episode is brought to you by Boombox Gifts.
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[0:22]I'm really excited to be interviewing Biz Owens today.
[0:25]Biz is a former stand of comic and corporate event planner.
[0:29]She now co-hosts the comedy podcast that happens to be about parenting called One Bad
[0:34]Mother.
[0:35]She, along with her co-host Theresa Thorne, wrote a parenting, sort of, advice book.
[0:40]You're doing a great job, a hundred ways you're winning and parenting.
[0:43]Her sister Helen Ellis, by the way, is the author of Southern Lady Code and American Housewife,
[0:49]and she also recently came on my podcast, is currently lives in Pasadena, California, with
[0:54]her husband and two children, so welcome to Biz.
[0:57]Welcome, Biz.
[0:58]Thanks so much for coming on Momstone Have Time to Read Books.
[1:00]Thank you so much for having me.
[1:02]So how did you get the name Biz?
[1:04]I have to start with that.
[1:05]All right, so my real name is Elizabeth, and I got the nickname at summer camp, and there
[1:13]are two competing stories, as to why I was given a name Biz at summer camp.
[1:19]I will stick with the nicer one in which a guy named Matt Johnson, his little niece,
[1:27]couldn't pronounce Elizabeth, so she would say Biz to his cousin.
[1:32]So that's why he claimed that they called me Biz.
[1:35]And then I moved to the school where all those people were, and I just walked in the door
[1:40]with the name Biz, and then how hard I try and maybe change it, somebody inevitably calls
[1:46]or sees me and says, hey Biz, and then everybody around me goes, Biz, and then, so now
[1:53]that I've got kids, I had to like start a whole new email, like all the stuff, because
[1:57]I was like, I don't, I'm like 45, I'm doing like preschool and elementary school stuff.
[2:04]I'm not sure I want to go by Biz at the PTA or any of that, so I'm trying to keep my
[2:11]lives separate.
[2:12]The other story is just that we get busy at camp.
[2:16]Don't tell anybody!
[2:17]Oh my gosh, you're so funny.
[2:21]Well, I have a similar story.
[2:23]My real name is also Elizabeth.
[2:26]Yeah.
[2:27]That's great.
[2:28]And somebody, when a girl in my play group who ended up being my maid of honor, actually
[2:32]for my first wedding, couldn't call me Elizabeth and call me Zabeth and my parents
[2:35]shortened to Zibi, and like you, it seems to have stuck and I cannot get rid of it,
[2:40]so anyway.
[2:41]Yeah, what's good for the like, podcast, you know, persona, because like then, if you're
[2:48]somewhere and you want to be Elizabeth, people might not, you know, linking, yeah, like
[2:53]you go incognito, so tell me about, I want to hear all about your podcast, one bad mother
[3:03]and also your book, which is so fantastic.
[3:06]But let's start with a book.
[3:07]So in your book, you say right away that it is not designed to make parents feel bad,
[3:12]and you feel, you know, other books might make parents feel bad, even when they try to
[3:17]give us advice.
[3:18]Why do you think that happens?
[3:19]Talk to me about it.
[3:20]Did you okay?
[3:21]You have four children.
[3:22]I do.
[3:23]I know this about you.
[3:24]I, so you may have experienced this.
[3:26]I really felt like a lot of the books I read with my first child made me feel not necessarily
[3:34]comforted or like confident about what was about to happen.
[3:41]A lot of books also made you feel like if you were nervous about it, then something
[3:45]you were probably doing it wrong.
[3:48]Right.
[3:49]And then after I had my daughter, Katie Bell, and even Ellis, it just, I just felt like
[3:56]I kept running into all these situations that were never spoken about in a book.
[4:01]Theresa, who co-hosts the show with me, she and I would come in and start talking about
[4:06]something and more than once we'd say, why is this not in a book?
[4:10]No book ever told me my kid was going to poop in the tub at some point in time.
[4:14]And how I was supposed to respond to that.
[4:17]No one told me that, yeah, they're going to cry at night, but then it might come on
[4:22]forever.
[4:23]Right.
[4:24]There's always that book that's like, just let them cry and they'll stop.
[4:30]But like, what if you have the kid that just never stops or like, what if that instinctually
[4:35]doesn't like fit with your instincts and how you want to parent?
[4:40]And like, so we just, we're like realizing that books tended to make you feel like you
[4:46]shouldn't trust your instincts and there was only one way to do it.
[4:49]And of course, there were a million books.
[4:51]So there were a million different ways you were supposed to do it.
[4:54]Yeah.
[4:55]And the reality, all the ways are actually find whatever works, you should do it.
[5:00]And so we just wanted to make a book that reminded you, no matter how you were doing it,
[5:06]if it was working, good job, you discovered how to parent, that's basically why we made
[5:15]the book.
[5:16]Great.
[5:17]And so refreshing.
[5:18]I mean, everybody needs that.
[5:19]Even just like telling you like, you know, all the little things, like some of the things
[5:24]you point out in your book, first of all waking up, you know, great job.
[5:28]Yeah.
[5:29]Yeah.
[5:30]That should be it.
[5:31]Yeah.
[5:32]That's it.
[5:33]Yeah.
[5:34]Surviving a baby shower in which your cake was shaped like a vagina.
[5:38]Yeah.
[5:39]Awesome.
[5:40]Thank you for putting that in your book.
[5:43]Are there some things that moms do well that you think they don't get enough credit
[5:47]for?
[5:48]Yeah.
[5:49]Just, I mean, moms and parents, everybody who've got children, I just don't think there's
[5:55]so much about what we do every day that is completely unacceptable to talk about anywhere.
[6:04]Right?
[6:05]Like, it's the most mundane things become so important.
[6:10]Like, I decided I wasn't going to battle meals and foods with my second child.
[6:14]Okay.
[6:15]I just decided this, it wasn't working.
[6:18]It was super unpleasant.
[6:20]And I was miserable.
[6:21]So the other day, I actually, for the first time, he's five, my daughter's nine.
[6:27]I made a garlic lemon pesto that I knew he liked and my daughter tried it and liked it.
[6:36]And for the first time ever, all four of us ate the same meal, okay?
[6:39]It was amazing.
[6:41]Like, I felt like this pure joy and a relation come through me.
[6:44]Now, who am I going to tell?
[6:46]Okay.
[6:47]Like, I can't like go to work for me like, guys, guess what?
[6:50]Everybody ate a 15 to 20.
[6:52]Like, people would be like, what's wrong with you and like, that's not how I was raised
[6:56]and blah, blah, blah.
[6:57]Yeah.
[6:58]And I just feel like it's those little tiny moments that, like, no one seems to care about.
[7:06]And I think those are the ones that, like, it's those sort of hidden secret levels
[7:11]of parenting that Theresa and I both talk about all the time are just so overlooked.
[7:17]And I think that's one of the hardest things about parenting.
[7:20]I just, every time I see somebody like with kids and groceries, I just think, you did
[7:25]it!
[7:26]You just did that!
[7:27]Good job!
[7:28]Good job!
[7:29]My husband and I were on an airplane last night and this woman was by herself with a toddler
[7:35]and the car seat and the real stroller and the whole thing and I was like, can I help
[7:39]you?
[7:40]Can I help you?
[7:41]And she's like, I'm okay, but thank you.
[7:42]And she's lucky to have the all and I was like, it gets easier!
[7:47]And my husband is just like, every, every mom, you just have to like, talk to every
[7:51]mom and I was like, well, I just have to like, let her know, you know.
[7:54]Oh, here, you can change your mind and I will still help you!
[7:58]Totally!
[7:59]I feel like, oh my gosh, yeah, the other day, both my kids ate the scrambled eggs without
[8:03]complaining that I made for breakfast, like my two older kids.
[8:06]And even that, I was like, thank do you, I was like, do you know how much it means to
[8:09]me when you both eat it?
[8:11]Like, I know scrambled eggs, I do this every morning, but it just makes me feel so good.
[8:14]So anyway, your book is so validating, so thanks.
[8:18]You have this funny part too in partnered parents, you write, you didn't choose to have,
[8:22]this is about your relationship and sort of, you didn't choose a total jerk to have this
[8:26]family with.
[8:27]Good job!
[8:28]Having a kid puts tons of pressure on everyone.
[8:30]That means you might sometimes experience anger, confusion, or resentment toward the person
[8:34]with whom you chose to make a family.
[8:37]But if you think back to the person whom you chose to say I do or sure you can move in
[8:41]or it's okay, we don't need a condom or whatever, that person wasn't a total jerk,
[8:46]they were pretty good.
[8:47]They are pretty good.
[8:48]They're just tired and stressed right now and so are you.
[8:51]Neither of you are jerks.
[8:53]I love that.
[8:57]So talk to me about dealing with partners and kids.
[9:00]Do you have any like secret, secret sauce, how do any tips, any just worth commiserating
[9:06]about?
[9:07]Therapy?
[9:08]Yeah.
[9:09]That helps a lot.
[9:11]Yeah, you know, I think we, Theresa had done some shows about resentment a couple of times
[9:18]and you know, one of our mantras is, you didn't marry an asshole.
[9:23]So some people jit, all right, like I'm not, we don't want to say, you know what, sometimes
[9:28]you wake up and you realize you did and then we got to take steps and take care of that.
[9:33]But in a partner parent situation in which everything seemed to be okay, I feel like two
[9:39]things sort of happened.
[9:40]The first level that we sort of discovered happening was if you are a mom and you are the
[9:47]primary caregiver, the moment your partner isn't like takes over like, all right, I'll
[9:53]take the baby for the walk or whatever, we basically set it up so that we don't allow
[9:58]them to fail, despite.
[10:00]we fail all the time.
[10:02]We've all gone out without the diaper.
[10:04]We've all gone out without the socks or the hats
[10:07]or the keys or the credit card or whatever.
[10:10]And no one is shaming us, right?
[10:13]But the moment like, you know, poor stuff
[10:15]and my husband would take cable out
[10:18]without a hat at you, like, oh my God, the hat.
[10:20]You know, it's like you're a monster.
[10:23]As opposed to just shutting up
[10:26]and letting them discover parenting the way
[10:30]that they need to pair.
[10:31]Like, it's really hard.
[10:32]Like, it's really hard and usually you.
[10:35]Because usually me, that has to be like,
[10:39]I don't have to say anything.
[10:41]And I discovered recently, now that my daughter's nine,
[10:44]he and she got into, like, one of their first, like,
[10:49]total fights, okay?
[10:51]And now we're not a yelling house.
[10:53]But I mean, as much as we are,
[10:55]they were having that kind of morning fight
[10:58]and Ellis, the five-year-old screaming and crying.
[11:00]And it's the day he's got to take both of him to school.
[11:02]So it's like, I'm just loading crying children into his car
[11:05]and, you know, he was yelling at.
[11:07]And later, my mind was like, oh, you stuck to that.
[11:11]You know, all you had to do was just not saying that, you know,
[11:13]I had all this advice for him.
[11:16]And then instead of saying any of that,
[11:19]I just said, I love you.
[11:22]You're doing a really good job.
[11:24]That's all I texted him.
[11:25]And, because I knew he knew.
[11:27]That's so nice.
[11:29]If I was getting around thinking about it all,
[11:31]I'm sure he did too,
[11:33]because I didn't rate jerk, right?
[11:35]So, you know, I think that's like a really hard thing.
[11:38]And the only other thing I would say is that, like,
[11:40]I think sometimes when we're so busy,
[11:44]at least for us, I'll sit on stuff for a long time
[11:47]before I say anything, and then I'll explode.
[11:50]And I know, so for me, if I don't sit on it,
[11:55]if I say it right away, that seems to really help.
[11:59]And I don't have to have a solution.
[12:00]Like, before I tell him what's going on.
[12:04]So that's, I mean, like, that and if all you've got
[12:08]is remembering to yourself, he's not an asshole,
[12:10]he's not an asshole, she's not an asshole,
[12:12]but then I think that sometimes the best we can do.
[12:16]I think that should be your new series of shirts.
[12:19]I didn't marry him.
[12:21]I didn't marry an asshole.
[12:23]Right, just like an arrow that's like,
[12:24]I'm not with an asshole.
[12:26]He's not an asshole.
[12:28]Arrow.
[12:29]Yeah.
[12:30]That's so funny.
[12:30]So you started one bad mother in 2013.
[12:34]Tell me about what made you start this podcast.
[12:36]I know you were a stand up comic before,
[12:38]and you originally said it was podcasts
[12:41]that happens to be about parenting, right?
[12:43]So tell me about how it got started.
[12:45]So I was living in New York with my daughter and step in.
[12:49]And like, I had, I used to be cool.
[12:52]Oh, I was like, you know, I could get a stand up
[12:56]and sketch and add it night.
[12:58]And like, you know, I was reading cool things on the subway
[13:02]and like, you know, smoking cigarettes.
[13:04]Like, that was so cool.
[13:06]I'm then I had this kid.
[13:07]And I suddenly did not feel cool at all.
[13:11]And in fact, I instilled nine years in
[13:14]having a real struggle with identity.
[13:16]And I started looking around.
[13:18]And I just felt like there was nothing out there
[13:21]that validated that I used to be a person.
[13:23]And like everything at the time, there weren't podcasts.
[13:27]There were just like blogs and stuff.
[13:29]And so everything was just these picture perfect experiences.
[13:33]And I enjoyed looking at those.
[13:35]They were great, but it wasn't the experience I was having.
[13:39]And then we moved to LA and Deafen
[13:44]and Theresa has been Jesse Thorne.
[13:46]We're like, you guys would probably really hit it off.
[13:49]And we were both like, we have small shoulder and retired.
[13:52]We don't want to make new friends.
[13:53]So like, so we did.
[13:56]And we started walking together.
[13:59]We started doing walks together.
[14:00]And I told her about the idea and she liked it.
[14:04]And then I realized she should co-host it with me
[14:07]because we did nothing alike.
[14:10]We really approached fair and teen super differently.
[14:13]And I thought, well, that might also be a good element
[14:16]for a show that's out there.
[14:17]You know, like not just showing perfection,
[14:20]but showing that we can both feel strongly
[14:22]about our different choices, but still be friends.
[14:25]I'm like, still be okay.
[14:26]This was like knee deep in the mommy war stuff,
[14:29]which I don't think is a real thing.
[14:31]I think it's just made up.
[14:33]I've been to make us all bad at each other.
[14:34]But yeah, so I just wanted to create something cool
[14:39]for people and something honest.
[14:42]And what's been really great is that Theresa and I've
[14:45]actually become friends on the show.
[14:47]Like, we weren't friends before.
[14:50]We didn't really before the show started.
[14:51]And so it's been really interesting talking
[14:55]about these different experiences.
[14:58]We're having this pants up and not.
[15:00]I say we're not a parenting podcast
[15:02]because nothing we say could be really helpful.
[15:05]Yeah, follow it at all.
[15:07]We just want to talk about like,
[15:09]once you become a parent, people forget about you.
[15:12]And we just wanted to be like,
[15:14]we know we're people, we're really growing as well.
[15:16]We're really struggling too.
[15:19]And not so much about the kid,
[15:21]but it's how we're reacting to our children
[15:23]and how our children are making us feel.
[15:26]So, that's what the podcast has found out being about.
[15:29]You know, just being as honest as we possibly can
[15:32]without ruining our children's lives by sharing too much.
[15:36]And now of course, podcasts have like exploded.
[15:39]Oh, I didn't like that.
[15:40]You're like in the right place at the right time.
[15:43]You should be like giving each other high fives every day.
[15:45]I definitely said we listed ourselves under comedy on iTunes.
[15:50]So now there's like a million parenting time.
[15:52]So what?
[15:53]We're just like, no, we're like, hey, we're comedy podcasts.
[15:57]We're like, people don't know how to find them.
[15:59]I know.
[16:01]It is crazy how you have to define yourself
[16:03]in the limited categories in the beginning.
[16:05]It's like, I was debating to parenting or arts and culture.
[16:09]I don't know.
[16:10]I'm sorry.
[16:11]I don't know.
[16:12]But I think it's nice because people don't always,
[16:14]I feel like parenting the way you think about it
[16:17]sometimes does feel prescriptive.
[16:19]Like, this is gonna be a class or this is something I need to know.
[16:21]And I think a lot of moms when they just want to break
[16:24]would gravitate to comedy.
[16:26]So I think you made the right call.
[16:28]OK.
[16:30]Wait, tell me what you said a minute ago
[16:32]that you're still struggling with your identity
[16:35]and that's still something that you are dealing with.
[16:37]Tell me a little about that because I'm sure everyone can really
[16:40]know.
[16:40]I've never felt 100% like a mom.
[16:47]Whatever that's supposed to be, there
[16:50]are days where I've got one foot in motherhood, one foot
[16:55]in work, one foot in social, which is, sorry,
[17:00]so that went right out the door.
[17:02]One foot in just trying to reconnect to anything
[17:05]I once really enjoyed as who I used to be.
[17:09]And then having to discover that having my feet in so many places
[17:13]isn't good.
[17:14]And I may not want all the things I used to have,
[17:18]like whatever I used to be that may not be who I should be now.
[17:23]It's like we did a show recently on haircuts.
[17:26]And it's like I recently got a haircut that
[17:29]was an awesome haircut five years ago.
[17:31]And I got it again.
[17:33]Shave said full over and I was like, whoa.
[17:36]So they did it.
[17:37]I was like, wow, that's not who I am anymore.
[17:39]That doesn't look right on me anymore.
[17:41]Like, now I just look like old mom would wear haircut
[17:47]and like it totally represents how I feel all the time.
[17:51]Like, OK, I'm going to get back into such and such.
[17:55]And then I start trying to do it.
[17:56]And I'm like, oh, maybe I don't like this anymore.
[17:58]Like, who?
[17:59]Yeah, I just, I don't think any of us
[18:02]step into motherhood really like easily.
[18:05]I mean, everything changes.
[18:06]You're supposed to be this other person.
[18:09]Everybody sees you as another person,
[18:11]whether you wanted them to or not.
[18:12]You suddenly have these people in your life that need you.
[18:17]So they structurally want to take care of them.
[18:21]You know, there's that partner possibly
[18:24]around that you would like to connect with.
[18:26]Or maybe you're so low parent and you're a single parent.
[18:29]And you're, you know, trying to remember what it,
[18:32]like what any relationship would be, you know,
[18:35]great to have.
[18:35]Maybe you adopt a kid and boom, they just pop up.
[18:39]They just show up in your house.
[18:40]There's no warning in the adoption world sometimes
[18:43]or the fostering world.
[18:44]And then you're stuck being like, who am I?
[18:46]And I just, yeah, I'm still not there.
[18:49]I'm still not.
[18:50]There's some days that I'm like, yeah, I am a mom.
[18:54]And then there are other days where I'm like, I am.
[18:57]Don't use that word around me.
[18:59]Like, man, I don't know.
[19:00]Maybe it's just me.
[19:02]So do you feel like, no, it sounds like mom to you
[19:06]means like you just, it just does not
[19:09]jive with anything else.
[19:11]Like that, that I feel like mom to you
[19:12]is something very conservative or traditional or something
[19:16]else that you are.
[19:18]Great way to put it, because that is.
[19:20]It's whatever my connection is.
[19:22]The word mom, I mean, there are.
[19:25]Is that what your mom was like?
[19:27]No, she, no, mom, you know, she, she let, you know,
[19:30]I think Kelly Michelle said it best
[19:32]to this on your show recently.
[19:33]You know, mom, mama and Papa, you know, raised us
[19:37]to be, you know, feminist in a time where that was just
[19:42]kind of becoming something okay in the deep south.
[19:45]And, you know, I often am like, how did she do this?
[19:49]You know, she went to law school when I started first grade.
[19:52]I mean, that's intense.
[19:53]And, you know, I mean, like, it wasn't bad traditional,
[19:57]but I think probably for me.
[20:00]when I think of mom, I think of all the restrictions
[20:04]that media and imagery put on mom
[20:09]and then we feed into that ourselves.
[20:12]You know, with the internet, my mom didn't have the internet.
[20:16]You know, she didn't have Facebook and Instagram
[20:20]and, you know, perfection or land of nod catalogs coming,
[20:24]like making you feel like,
[20:25]God, if I just painted everything white,
[20:27]my children would be so happy
[20:28]and want to play in that room.
[20:30]You know, like, with a TV and like, you know, TV.
[20:35]Or I would just like, I mean, how they still sell TPs?
[20:38]Those aren't okay.
[20:39]Like, that's just like, yeah, it is true.
[20:44]I feel like, and I think what I'm wrestling with
[20:47]and still working on finger therapy
[20:50]is connecting those two for me, is connecting.
[20:53]You know, what mom means to me
[20:56]with who I am.
[20:58]And I feel like now that my kids are out of infancy
[21:02]and toddler dumb and preschool dumb
[21:04]and they're like kids, you know,
[21:06]I feel like, at least for me,
[21:09]there's some breathing room suddenly
[21:11]to like have the time to try and make that connection again.
[21:15]And I think the trick is allowing ourselves
[21:17]the time to do that,
[21:19]because I don't think we give ourselves
[21:21]a lot of time as parents.
[21:23]Right.
[21:24]And also that it doesn't have to be so black and white.
[21:26]Right.
[21:27]Yeah.
[21:27]That's hard.
[21:28]That's hard too.
[21:29]Yeah, I know.
[21:30]Like a white.
[21:31]No, I'm the same way I get it.
[21:33]I just, I don't know.
[21:34]I feel like these days there's so many types of moms.
[21:36]Like, it's hard to, it's not the way it was
[21:39]with the 1950s, beautiful skirts.
[21:42]And I feel like mom today, I mean, look at you.
[21:44]You're like, we're on Skype for listeners,
[21:46]but you just got this like massive tattoo on your arm,
[21:49]which is like so badass, really.
[21:51]I mean, it's like, you know, you're your own mom.
[21:54]I think it's awesome.
[21:55]It's like, yeah, I can do the tattoo.
[21:57]And then I can make a beautiful body cake for Easter.
[22:00]I am sure you can.
[22:02]Anyway, enough of my prying through your inner psyche here.
[22:06]Anyway, do you have any advice from your experience?
[22:09]Moms who are worrying that they are just not doing a good job.
[22:13]The moms out there who are similarly feeling victorious
[22:16]when someone goes down for a nap or the tantrum ends
[22:20]or some, you know, bad mood is redirected.
[22:23]Do you have any advice for them?
[22:25]Yes, that they are doing a good job.
[22:27]I feel like the, so we have a hotline that on the show
[22:31]that people can call.
[22:33]And they can call and leave a genius moment,
[22:35]which would be the like everybody eight
[22:37]or my kid slept for 15 minutes.
[22:39]So like, you can also leave fails.
[22:42]That would be everything from I get all my grocery shopping
[22:46]and realize I didn't have my credit card
[22:47]or I left with milk in the bottom of the stroller.
[22:50]We've all done that.
[22:51]I dropped the baby.
[22:52]You know what I mean?
[22:53]Like, babies have fallen off of changing tables.
[22:56]And we have all like accidentally like,
[22:59]you know, the car seat has wobbled our,
[23:02]oh my God, I just got somewhere and realized
[23:04]I didn't buckle the kid in.
[23:06]And I can say that because we get about three to 400 calls a month.
[23:10]And I hear the same things over and over and over.
[23:17]And, you know, while when we make those failures,
[23:21]it can feel like, you know,
[23:23]we've really done something horrible
[23:26]and we shouldn't even be allowed to be parents.
[23:29]The reality is everybody's actually okay.
[23:32]And you're okay.
[23:35]And no one's really watching.
[23:38]No one's really watching.
[23:40]It feels like everybody's watching,
[23:42]but they really aren't watching.
[23:43]And probably 10 other people have done that like today, right?
[23:49]There's, it's so rare to hear like a fail come in
[23:53]that's like stunningly original, right?
[23:57]And so I think the good thing to remember is just,
[24:01]you are doing a good job.
[24:02]Tell other parents you see out there
[24:05]that they're doing a good job, feels weird at first,
[24:07]but then it gets kind of normal.
[24:09]And the more you say it, the more you feel it,
[24:13]that's like something we've discovered on the show
[24:17]that it's just like we're just all really tired, guys.
[24:19]All you actually are doing a really remarkable job.
[24:24]If you got up and got everybody where they need to go
[24:27]including yourself and there you have pants on.
[24:31]You've done it.
[24:32]You did it.
[24:34]You did it.
[24:35]So, you know, it's just be nice to yourself.
[24:38]I love that.
[24:39]I love the being nice to others too.
[24:40]That's really nice.
[24:41]Yeah, no, it's, I feel like I'll rant us off track
[24:46]so quickly, but like, man,
[24:49]I don't know when it came around
[24:51]that we're supposed to not support each other as parents,
[24:53]but that is, I call garbage on that.
[24:58]That is insane.
[25:01]We gotta stop it, but that's not something
[25:05]we're supposed to be doing.
[25:06]But I agree.
[25:09]Throw out the competitive, you know,
[25:11]these competitive moms, it's like the death of me
[25:13]seriously.
[25:14]I know.
[25:15]I know.
[25:17]What about advice to aspiring authors now
[25:19]that you have this fantastic book out there,
[25:22]which is hilarious and helpful and everything else?
[25:24]So, I have a lot of advice.
[25:26]I mean, Teresa, and I think you had my sister on.
[25:29]She's a writer.
[25:31]She is, you know, so amazing at that.
[25:37]I make jokes and I feel like for Teresa
[25:40]and I think what helped us when we wrote this
[25:44]was committing to time.
[25:47]I mean, and that's the thing I hear
[25:49]from people who come on the show too.
[25:50]Just make the commitment to meet or write
[25:54]or whatever it is that you're trying to create
[25:56]and commit to it.
[25:58]I personally could never have done it
[26:00]if I hadn't had a partner to write the book with.
[26:03]Like, if there wasn't somebody I had to be beholden to,
[26:06]a bed book would never have been written.
[26:08]Just not in the last nine years.
[26:12]Yeah, so it, I think it's just committing to a time
[26:17]and trying to stick with it and putting yourself first
[26:20]to do it.
[26:21]Awesome.
[26:22]I don't know.
[26:23]I don't know.
[26:24]Well, you did it.
[26:25]So, you know, you're one step ahead of the people
[26:27]who didn't do it, so, you know.
[26:28]That's right.
[26:29]If that's it, and it was really a lot of fun to do it.
[26:31]Great job.
[26:32]Thank you.
[26:34]Well, thank you for coming on mom's time to read books
[26:37]and sharing all of your thoughts and everything
[26:39]and thanks for your great podcast and the book
[26:42]and everything.
[26:43]Well, thank you so much.
[26:44]Thank you for coming on to ours.
[26:46]And it was a pleasure.
[26:47]The show is, it's really great for those of us
[26:50]who really don't have to write it for and watch it
[26:53]and help us find what we're looking for.
[26:55]So thank you.
[26:56]Thanks a lot.
[26:57]You are doing a very good job.
[26:58]Oh, thank you.
[27:01]All right.
[27:02]Have a great day.
[27:02]All right, bye bits.
[27:04]This episode has been brought to you by boom box gifts.
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[27:13]Thanks to Ryan and Steve at Texture Sound
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[27:17]Thanks for listening to momstone.
[27:19]Have time to read books.