Julie Valerie, HOLLY BANKS FULL OF ANGST
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[1:00]Zibi Owens.com. I'm here today with author Julie Valerie, who is the debut novelist of
[1:06]Holly Banks' full of angst. She currently lives in Virginia with her college sweetheart husband
[1:12]and their four children. And by the way, we're being filmed today by Sandy Kenyon of ABC News,
[1:17]and hopefully you'll see a clip of us in the feature that he does about Moms don't have time to
[1:21]read books soon. So welcome, Julie. Thanks for coming on Moms don't have time to read books.
[1:26]Thank you so much for having me, Zibi.
[1:27]Dave, you're novelist. This is very exciting.
[1:29]Oh, it's so exciting. Yeah, it's a very exciting time.
[1:32]So can you tell listeners, please, what Holly Banks' full of angst is about?
[1:36]Absolutely. So Holly Banks' full of angst is a laugh out loud debut novel that was written for
[1:42]anyone who is trying to live the perfect life and learning the hard way. There's no such thing.
[1:47]And it features Holly Banks as the main character. She is a less than perfect mom,
[1:52]searching for mostly happy and a pretty good life.
[1:56]I love to see where she drives to school in her pajamas and it ends up as front page news in her
[2:00]community. Yes. I was like, that is what can you, I like the idea that I would have to be like on
[2:06]the news for doing something like that. It's like so terrifying.
[2:09]How did you come up with this idea? Is this reflective of your own community at all?
[2:13]Well, so it's tricky. I wouldn't say that anybody in particular in the novel is based on a
[2:19]specific person within my life. Everybody that my children go to school with are lovely and
[2:23]wonderful. Everybody wants to know who's Mary Margaret. Are you Holly and is Jack your husband?
[2:28]And so no, I would say that while specific moments or aspects of things and people and places
[2:35]and experiences I've had have inspired the novel, it is completely a work of fiction for sure.
[2:41]So you have four kids. Two, your daughters are in college. How did you end up writing a book right
[2:45]now and why this book? Well, so I've always wanted to be a writer since I was very young and
[2:50]fill out spiral notebooks writing my own books. And I remember, I can't believe I'm actually
[2:55]coming out with this, but I remember being in fourth or fifth grade and the teacher would assign a
[2:58]book report. And I was probably cheating or maybe this is the early seeds of being a writer,
[3:04]but I would completely make up the book. I'd make up the title. I would make up,
[3:08]we'd have to draw a picture of the cover and make up the characters exactly what happened.
[3:11]And somehow I always sailed through those assignments that we get 100 and everything else. So I
[3:16]I was either lying. Teachers didn't figure out that they did not figure it out. I was in the
[3:20]fourth, fourth grade, third grade, fourth grade, fifth grade pulling this off. And I was either
[3:24]lying. I say to myself, I was either lying. Yes, of course, cheating, perhaps yes, or creating
[3:29]my first fictions. So I just, it was my favorite assignment of all because I could create a book.
[3:35]I'd almost recommend any teachers who may be listening to give their students that option because
[3:40]it would allow some of the writers within the room to create their first book through the book.
[3:44]Okay, but if my kids are listening, do not create any expectations.
[3:47]It's very important. Unless that's the assignment. I know. That is for sure.
[3:51]Fast forward to college. And I remember very, probably the inciting incident for me that was the moment
[3:57]that I said, I need in. I need to find out what this is. What is writing fiction and how do I do it?
[4:04]Was a weekend during college. I was at a friend's house and I was reading Winnie the Pooh,
[4:09]the classic book written by A.A. Mill, not the, you know, Disney version of it.
[4:13]And I could not believe how real that fictional reality was. I had long ago given up the
[4:20]belief that my stuffed animals were real, that they were talking and walking and that had left
[4:24]him. That's good. That's very true. But through the pages of this book, Winnie the Pooh, a bear of
[4:30]very little brain and piglet with all of his anxieties and Eeyore always losing his tail.
[4:34]They became absolutely real to me. And I couldn't believe that I was reconnecting with a part of my
[4:40]childhood that believed my own stuffed animals were real. And here I was in college and it was
[4:44]happening all over again. I cried when Christopher Rob and left the hundred acre wood. And I needed
[4:50]to know how that happened. What alchemy was in place. Because I picked up the book and I remember
[4:56]kind of zeroing in on it and getting really, really close to the ink on paper. And I remember thinking
[5:01]this is black ink on white paper. This is 26 letters and a set of punctuation marks. And yet I have
[5:09]been completely and utterly transported into a time and place and into an absolute belief.
[5:14]All of these characters are real. They are all living and operating in their world. And I am now
[5:21]a part of it and we're together. And I thought, what is this I want in? I love that. Yeah, thank you very
[5:28]much. It's the best description that alchemy. Yeah, the alchemy. Yeah, so I remember it was
[5:33]it changed my life. The reading of that book changed my life because I stood up from that book
[5:37]and that chair and I said, I need to figure this out. So I just got way obsessive on studying
[5:43]everything I could about the craft reading every book available. In all my free time going to
[5:48]writers conferences, going to writing classes, trying to figure out how it was done. And I started
[5:52]a manuscript that I maybe three months ago officially pulled out a storage and burned in a beautiful
[5:58]way. No, it was the first manuscript. I call it my MFA. It was the manuscript. It was the manuscript.
[6:04]There's nothing to do with how he brings to the village of print. It was the manuscript that I
[6:07]learned how to that I learned my craft is where I made my mistakes is where I discovered what
[6:13]I tried things and explored and made horrible mistakes as a terrible book. It's the type of manuscript
[6:18]that you have. Oh gosh, I hope nothing happens to me and they come upon it and they're going to
[6:21]wonder, what is this? This is terrible. My husband used to tell me when I would get frustrated with
[6:26]that manuscript, he would say, don't write that. That's not you. You should write what you're writing
[6:31]in your emails because I had a number of emails about mom life that were funny and they're kind of
[6:36]going viral in our kind of social group and he's like, you need to tap into that. That's what you
[6:41]resonates with you. That's your funny writer and you know, I was trying to write a serious novel,
[6:44]but I think I'm more for humorous novels and he said, write what you write in your emails.
[6:49]And then I remember thinking that is the craziest thing looking at an email saying,
[6:53]how do I take an email and build that into a whole story line? But there was a kernel of something
[6:58]in there. I think it was a kernel of truth, the truth that I was living and my friends were living
[7:03]in motherhood that needed exploring. And so then I set the other manuscript aside after many,
[7:10]many years and started with my 26 letters instead of punctuation marks, black ink on white paper.
[7:17]And I just started letter by letter word by word, build it out the story that eventually became
[7:21]the first book in the village of Prim series, Holly Banks full of angst. Oh, there's, so there are more
[7:26]books. There are more books. It's all in my head. There's a whole village. There's multiple story
[7:31]lines. I have lots of books, you know, develop. Some of them are more fleshed out than others,
[7:36]but I see other women within the village have another story lines. And I'd really love to,
[7:41]especially in book two, the aftermath of book one, start to explore the relationships and the
[7:46]women and who they are and what their stories are. I'd love that. Yeah. Are they all going to rhyme?
[7:51]I don't think so. No. In fact, there is a title for book number two and it is the peculiar fate
[7:56]of Holly Banks. So she does, Holly Banks carries the title in book one and book two. I'm not
[8:01]sure about what's going to happen yet for book three. So her name is in the title, but no, they are not
[8:06]rhyming. No. I don't know. Yeah. I think I don't know. Holly Banks, well, I'm going to start
[8:11]thinking about title three. Not that you asked, but I'm going to anyway. Okay. So this fictitious
[8:15]village of Prim, you've now, you have a whole community. You have worlds going on in your head.
[8:20]Yes. You've written this book all of your letters. Then what happened? Did you send it out,
[8:25]like, how did you get it to be on the bookshelves? Well, very good question. So it was
[8:30]strange enough, the very first manuscript or the first writing of Holly Banks, well,
[8:34]of angst was written in second person point of view with Mary Margaret as the only person speaking
[8:39]because she is a very difficult character to write and to get, to get correct. I use her for
[8:46]satire. I use her to expose universe, you know, truths. I use her to look at, exploit, examine,
[8:54]explore things that we do to each other as women. I use her for humor. There's a lot of
[8:58]things happening with Mary Margaret. And she kind of came from a question I had in my mind of,
[9:04]is she in my head is do we all have a little bit of Mary Margaret in our minds where we are trying
[9:09]to do our best, give our children the perfect life, live out the, you know, be the best mom ever.
[9:15]And voice inside of our head that we need to silence. And Holly struggles with the voice of Mary
[9:20]Margaret and Holly struggles with finding her own voice in the face of Mary Margaret.
[9:24]So I see Mary Margaret and Holly as aspects of like the mom personality or persona a little
[9:30]bit. I know that I've, I definitely relate to Holly Banks. I am as flawed as Holly and then some,
[9:36]but there's I think a little bit of Mary Margaret in all of us, at least in our wanting to pursue
[9:41]and the pursuit of perfection and wanting to do our best, but also beating ourselves up when we
[9:46]don't achieve what we set out to achieve. So she was a voice inside my head that I needed to hear.
[9:50]And so I wrote her in second person point of view. So it was only Mary Margaret. And there was no
[9:56]other character. I was imagining myself as the reader as the other character.
[10:00]And so, she would speak to me.
[10:02]I would just put a couple of dash marks
[10:04]to hold the spot of how I would have responded to her.
[10:07]And I wrote an entire first draft
[10:09]just with Mary Margaret Talk,
[10:11]and so I could hear what Mary Margaret wanted to say.
[10:13]Wow.
[10:14]So then I went in and rewrote the whole thing
[10:16]in first person, present tense,
[10:18]this time adding Holly,
[10:20]so that I could understand who Holly was.
[10:22]And I, you know, became Holly,
[10:24]and the eye point of view,
[10:26]I did this, I did that as Holly,
[10:28]so that I could get Holly's voice to the correct
[10:31]and mix her with Mary Margaret.
[10:33]And then I eventually changed
[10:36]the first person, present tense manuscript
[10:39]into third person past tense.
[10:41]Oh my gosh.
[10:42]So now, Holly,
[10:43]we've really booked like 50 seconds.
[10:44]Yes, I've written and re-written and re-written,
[10:46]and, you know, hopefully honed the craft
[10:48]and captured the essence of two very different women
[10:51]who have to interact with each other.
[10:53]But I needed to hear the voices inside me.
[10:55]I needed to hear the parts of me
[10:56]that are Holly and the parts of me
[10:58]that are Mary Margaret,
[10:59]and I needed to explore motherhood
[11:01]and what it means to be a woman
[11:02]and how we Holly ourselves
[11:04]or how we marry Margaret ourselves
[11:06]or Mary Margaret others,
[11:08]so I just need to explore those two women.
[11:10]And I ended up writing this book multiple times
[11:12]and in every single point of view
[11:14]that there is,
[11:15]and it even managed to go from present tense to past tense
[11:18]like it was crazy nuts.
[11:20]Yes.
[11:21]How do you, Julie, not as Holly or anybody else?
[11:23]How do you deal with, like,
[11:25]the constant pressure for perfection is a mom?
[11:27]I mean, I'm sure everybody has Mary Margaret
[11:29]and their lives can make some feel terrible.
[11:31]Right.
[11:32]So what do you do?
[11:33]So I can't say that I have figured it out,
[11:36]but in the writing of this book
[11:38]and watching Holly's journey,
[11:39]I have come to realize
[11:41]that I think we have some sensitive points.
[11:43]Holly's at a threshold.
[11:44]She has just moved to the village,
[11:46]so she is a fish out of water.
[11:48]She is an underdog.
[11:49]She has moved to a place
[11:51]that there are established hierarchies
[11:52]and rules and established families
[11:54]and people operating.
[11:55]So she has no idea where she is.
[11:57]She's feeling completely lost.
[11:59]And she is at a milestone in her daughter's life.
[12:02]It's the first week of kindergarten for Ella.
[12:04]So Holly is also facing letting her child go
[12:07]into this unknown world.
[12:09]And she's really not even equipped
[12:10]to guide Ella in this world
[12:12]because she is new as well.
[12:14]And I remember when my first child left me
[12:17]and went to school, left me,
[12:19]went to school.
[12:20]I remember feeling the dividing line
[12:22]that something had changed.
[12:24]She had been since she was born.
[12:26]She had been mine.
[12:27]We did our day together
[12:29]and I was kind of in control of the whole world.
[12:31]And then I let her go into the world.
[12:34]She helps on public transportation,
[12:35]the form of a bright yellow school bus.
[12:37]Off she goes into the school world
[12:39]where she's gone for the day.
[12:40]I don't know where she is,
[12:41]what she's doing.
[12:42]Is she okay?
[12:43]So the scene where Holly
[12:45]or Ella is getting out of the car
[12:46]is really important
[12:47]because sometimes that's extremely scary
[12:49]for a lot of children.
[12:50]They're leaving the safety of their mother.
[12:51]And so there's a lot of threshold.
[12:53]And I know for myself right now
[12:55]as a debut novelist,
[12:57]I'm at a threshold personally
[12:59]because in two weeks
[13:00]that's my official update on my very first book.
[13:03]And so I feel like I'm putting Holly Banks full of angst
[13:05]onto a yellow school bus
[13:07]and sending her out into the world.
[13:08]And I know that I'm at a time where I'm more sensitive,
[13:11]a lot like Holly
[13:12]because I'm at that threshold
[13:13]and there is a milestone
[13:14]and I'm an unsteady.
[13:16]I feel unsteady.
[13:17]It's uncertain waters.
[13:18]Will the world be kind to Holly?
[13:19]Will the world be kind to me?
[13:20]How do I navigate this?
[13:22]So when I feel nervous,
[13:24]I think to myself,
[13:25]well what did you tell Holly
[13:27]when you were writing the book?
[13:29]And this is a book
[13:31]that at its core is about self acceptance.
[13:34]This is a book that at its core says
[13:36]you might consider giving up
[13:38]on the pursuit of perfection.
[13:39]It's not possible.
[13:40]It's not realistic.
[13:41]Quiet the voices inside your head.
[13:43]You are good enough.
[13:44]Do your best.
[13:46]Love your family fiercely
[13:47]and you will be okay.
[13:49]Thank you.
[13:50]I feel your time.
[13:51]You're so good on that.
[13:52]I'm glad.
[13:53]I was hoping Holly would be relatable.
[13:55]She's flawed
[13:56]and she really takes a lot of punches
[13:58]in this first week
[13:59]as we all do in life.
[14:00]And that's what life does.
[14:01]But she tries really hard
[14:04]as I think most women do.
[14:05]It's a high stakes game, motherhood
[14:07]because we love our children fiercely.
[14:10]It's incredibly important.
[14:11]It's also an incredible task
[14:13]to take a very young person
[14:15]and then somehow mold them
[14:16]and shape them into a great person
[14:17]and see them into adulthood.
[14:19]And so we're going to make mistakes
[14:21]and we're going to wish we could do things over.
[14:24]And we're going to hope for forgiveness
[14:26]the kind of forgiveness Holly has
[14:28]to give her mother Greta.
[14:30]It was a great character.
[14:31]Oh, thank you.
[14:32]I love every time she came in.
[14:33]I feel like I was watching a sitcom
[14:35]and I'm like,
[14:36]and the door would open
[14:37]and inward walk Greta.
[14:38]I'm like, oh, good enough.
[14:39]She's incredible.
[14:40]Oh, I'm glad you said that.
[14:41]Thank you so much.
[14:42]Thank you.
[14:43]Holly is a film school mom,
[14:44]so she's graduated from film school
[14:46]and it was important to me
[14:47]to try to capture a feeling
[14:49]of being on camera,
[14:50]a feeling of movies,
[14:51]a feeling of,
[14:52]you've seen this picture played out
[14:54]on the big screen
[14:55]because that is authentic
[14:57]to the main character.
[14:58]I was wondering when I read it,
[14:59]do you have a film school background?
[15:01]Do you want to do screenplays
[15:02]because you even have
[15:03]some of the dialogue formatted
[15:04]as a screenplay
[15:06]in with the novel,
[15:07]which was really cool.
[15:08]Yeah.
[15:09]Do you have it?
[15:10]I asked that a lot.
[15:11]I would say no.
[15:12]I can't ask any questions.
[15:13]I don't know.
[15:14]I don't know.
[15:16]Well, it's been,
[15:17]it's been a lovely question
[15:18]because I think
[15:19]that what they're saying,
[15:21]perhaps is it rings true to them
[15:23]that Holly as a main character
[15:24]had gone to film school
[15:25]and that they enjoyed the pieces
[15:27]of the novel that slips
[15:28]into screenwriting
[15:29]because the novel isn't told
[15:31]sentence by sentence
[15:32]paragraph by paragraph.
[15:33]There is text messages.
[15:35]There is emails from an online
[15:37]psychic.
[15:38]There is scriptwriting.
[15:39]There's a recipe spelled
[15:40]backwards.
[15:41]So there's a lot of different devices
[15:42]used to tell the story.
[15:44]No, I did not go to film school,
[15:45]but I will say
[15:46]that I do read screenplays
[15:48]and I love the craft
[15:49]of storytelling.
[15:50]So I will study commercials
[15:52]and try to figure out
[15:53]how a five second,
[15:55]30 second commercial is told
[15:57]through storytelling
[15:58]and I love watching other mediums.
[16:00]I'm practicing
[16:01]in the world of fiction
[16:03]and literature,
[16:04]but I also love watching movies
[16:05]and I love reading the screenplays.
[16:07]It's a great place
[16:08]to study dialogue,
[16:09]to study pacing,
[16:10]to study story structure.
[16:12]So I learned a great deal
[16:13]from the work of others
[16:14]and I do study it deeply.
[16:16]So do you believe
[16:17]that writing amazing fiction
[16:18]is something that can be learned?
[16:20]It's something that can be taught
[16:21]and learned,
[16:22]or that people just have that
[16:24]special alchemy
[16:25]that you refer to
[16:26]to make words
[16:27]into sensational stories,
[16:28]but do you believe
[16:29]it's something that can be taught?
[16:30]I definitely believe
[16:31]it can be taught.
[16:32]I think that if you have
[16:33]the passion inside you
[16:34]and the burning desire,
[16:35]you might be able to strike
[16:36]some more chords
[16:37]with your reader,
[16:38]some universal truths
[16:40]and some authenticity.
[16:41]So certainly the passion helps.
[16:42]You need the passion
[16:44]to sustain yourself
[16:45]because this is,
[16:46]it takes a long time
[16:47]to write it home.
[16:48]There's a reason
[16:49]why many first novels
[16:50]take many, many, many years.
[16:52]You have writers like myself
[16:53]who have gone deep
[16:55]and tried to learn everything
[16:56]there is about the craft
[16:57]and then still had to write
[16:58]their first book,
[16:59]which technically is their second book,
[17:00]because the first book
[17:01]was just burned
[17:02]in a bonfire,
[17:03]but they had to write
[17:04]this first book
[17:05]in first person,
[17:06]second person,
[17:07]and third person point of view.
[17:08]So that learning curve
[17:09]that always comes.
[17:10]So the passion,
[17:11]it sustains you,
[17:12]but I think that it can absolutely be taught.
[17:14]I think you should.
[17:15]Most of the learning comes
[17:16]in the actual writing.
[17:17]I would say to any writer,
[17:19]if you have questions
[17:20]or problems within your story
[17:21]or in your writing,
[17:23]the answer usually reveals
[17:24]itself during the process of writing.
[17:26]So writers write,
[17:27]get in and with the words
[17:29]you will find the answers.
[17:31]Wow.
[17:32]So how did you find a publisher for this?
[17:35]Okay, so I ended up
[17:36]with a publisher
[17:37]that was my first choice
[17:38]publisher,
[17:39]so I had my all fingers
[17:40]and toes crossed
[17:41]when the submission went in
[17:43]and so it came out
[17:44]good for me
[17:45]and I'm very, very thrilled.
[17:46]I'm extremely thrilled
[17:48]with the editor
[17:49]that I'm working with.
[17:50]She is a phenomenal
[17:51]and I love my agent.
[17:52]So I really feel
[17:54]I feel solid
[17:55]in the team
[17:56]that I have around me.
[17:57]So that's been fantastic.
[17:58]You know,
[17:59]debut novelist
[18:00]I had no idea what was happening
[18:01]in the last year,
[18:02]you know,
[18:03]going through the different revisions,
[18:04]developmental edits,
[18:05]copy edits,
[18:06]the cover coming together,
[18:08]the pre-publication
[18:09]promotion,
[18:10]just this whole experience
[18:11]of this last year
[18:12]is the first time
[18:13]I'm experiencing
[18:14]any of this.
[18:15]So, you know,
[18:16]it's a stepping out.
[18:17]I wrote this book
[18:18]in the middle of the night
[18:19]between 10 o'clock at night
[18:21]and 4 o'clock in the morning
[18:22]and I would write it
[18:23]on the sidelines
[18:24]of baseball games,
[18:26]softball games
[18:27]when my kids were doing
[18:28]activities
[18:29]or if I was in carpool line
[18:30]I would grab a few minutes
[18:31]and so a lot
[18:32]of this was written
[18:33]in the wee hours
[18:34]of the night in my pajamas
[18:35]and very,
[18:36]very private moments
[18:37]and all of a sudden
[18:38]I'm now experiencing
[18:39]a very public experience
[18:41]around something
[18:42]that I did
[18:43]in a private space.
[18:44]Most of my friends
[18:45]don't even know
[18:46]I'm a writer.
[18:47]I mean, my closest friends
[18:48]know,
[18:49]but in my mom
[18:50]in my school,
[18:51]I think most of the moms
[18:52]have no idea.
[18:53]They might find out
[18:54]when I find out
[18:55]what is your biggest fear?
[18:56]The book is like
[18:57]about to come out
[18:58]in the world.
[18:59]Like what do you think
[19:00]like what do you think
[19:01]like what do you think
[19:02]what keeps you up at night?
[19:03]It all does.
[19:04]I wrote this book
[19:05]not for a wide audience,
[19:06]not for the marketplace
[19:08]not for a large audience.
[19:10]I wrote this book
[19:11]with one person in mind
[19:12]and whenever I talk
[19:13]about it makes me cry
[19:14]because she was my inspiration.
[19:16]She was who I was speaking to.
[19:18]She was why I gave up sleep.
[19:20]She was why I played with syntax
[19:22]and looked at all my words
[19:23]and slid them into different places
[19:25]and tried to figure out
[19:26]if I take this word
[19:27]and give it a different function
[19:28]in the sentence.
[19:29]Well, she'd like it more.
[19:30]And that person
[19:31]that woman is somebody
[19:33]I feel as if I'll never meet.
[19:35]She is the woman
[19:36]who has had a really bad day.
[19:38]She is a woman who needs a hug.
[19:40]She is a woman who needs to know.
[19:42]She is this why I always want to grow.
[19:44]She needs to know
[19:45]that she is loved
[19:46]and she is great
[19:47]and she's doing her best
[19:48]and that's all anybody
[19:49]can ask of her.
[19:50]And when I was writing
[19:51]the book I wrote
[19:52]only to her,
[19:53]only to her.
[19:54]Lays are focused
[19:55]on her
[19:56]and I thought to myself
[19:57]over the last, you know,
[19:58]months and definitely
[19:59]in the last
[20:00]Last year, I wonder if I'll know when I meet her, thinking that she was a singular person
[20:04]and I've come to realize, especially in the Instagram community of books to grammars who
[20:08]have been incredible and lovely to me.
[20:11]They were like guardians and guides and sweet, sweet souls that I want to have a big
[20:16]slumber party with that kind of walked with me on this journey.
[20:19]I'm starting to realize that that woman I was speaking to, she pops up in different
[20:24]places.
[20:25]There was a review that was written that really touched me and I thought there's the
[20:28]seed of that woman I was writing for.
[20:30]There's a book's to grammar that brought my book and introduced my book to Bell down
[20:34]in Disney and I thought there's the seed of that woman that I was writing for.
[20:38]So I'm starting to realize that while I wrote for one woman and I will always write for
[20:42]that one woman, she will appear to me in small pieces throughout my life and throughout
[20:48]this journey and I love finding her.
[20:50]I love connecting with her because it's what feeds my soul and what inspires my every
[20:55]word.
[20:56]There's a lot of those women out there on any given day.
[21:00]I can be one.
[21:01]You can be one.
[21:02]Do you know what I mean?
[21:03]Like everybody has rough days, like rough days speaking and I love that speaking to that
[21:07]one person.
[21:08]Yeah, she represents like all moms, you know, every universal truth of motherhood.
[21:12]It's very difficult.
[21:13]It's a very difficult job.
[21:14]Again, it goes back to the high stakes.
[21:16]We desperately love our children.
[21:17]We desperately want to do a great job but then we have to perform at that very high
[21:21]level day and day out every single minute for years and years and years because God
[21:25]forbid we make a mistake or retired or we snap at our kids or we forget a homework
[21:31]because you know, talk something in the backpack.
[21:33]We sometimes think this is going to be catastrophic, you know, and we just all need to catch
[21:38]our breath.
[21:39]We need to be better resources for each other.
[21:41]We need to tap our inner holly banks, our inner spirit animal, you know, our sense of forgiveness
[21:46]and self-acceptance.
[21:47]We need to be kind to each other and support each other.
[21:49]Maybe it could be holly banks devoid of angst.
[21:52]Yes, holly banks wouldn't know any things for you.
[21:55]Exactly.
[21:56]That would be lovely.
[21:57]Wouldn't that be nice?
[21:58]That would be great.
[21:59]Do you have any parting advice to aspiring authors?
[22:00]And I know you've already put a lot in there that I will certainly have.
[22:03]Oh, thank you.
[22:04]So I would say in this kind of some very strange, I would say beware of when you are thinking
[22:09]about the oak tree because that's not your job.
[22:11]Don't think of the oak tree.
[22:12]You have to focus on the acorn.
[22:14]The oak tree will overwhelm you.
[22:15]If you are an aspiring writer as I am and will continue to be for the rest of my life,
[22:21]I would lose myself in bookstores and I would be surrounded by oak trees.
[22:25]I would be surrounded by finished trees that have been written and rewritten and have gone
[22:29]through a team and has been published and brought to market.
[22:32]And so you don't judge yourself against finished product.
[22:35]Don't judge your acorn against the oak tree.
[22:39]Also the oak tree can be very overwhelming and oak trees happen and they begin by the acorns.
[22:45]So it's easier to control the acorn.
[22:46]It's smaller.
[22:47]You can hold it in your hand.
[22:48]You can carry it in your pocket.
[22:49]You can pull it out and you can acorn by acorn, letter by letter, 26 letters, a collection
[22:56]of punctuation marks, one word after the other, focus on the acorn and watch your thinking
[23:01]and your emotions because when the oak tree arrives and it starts to overwhelm you, you
[23:06]need to pull back and catch your breath and say, my job is this acorn.
[23:10]This acorn is all I am responsible for this moment.
[23:14]This word, this thought, this one reader, this one acorn, this one woman I'm speaking
[23:19]to and you really need to pull it down into that simple, simple level.
[23:24]Otherwise at least for me, I can be swallowed up by the oak tree.
[23:28]Wow.
[23:29]That was beautiful.
[23:30]I can tell you're a writer.
[23:31]Oh, my goodness.
[23:32]Well, it comes from the heart.
[23:33]I can tell.
[23:34]Oh, thank you.
[23:35]Oh, thank you.
[23:36]Well, thank you, Julie.
[23:37]Thanks for coming.
[23:38]I'm sorry.
[23:39]Not only your craft knowledge and the process, but all of this really, you know, energizing
[23:46]and from the heart mom advice, which is all.
[23:49]Oh, thank you.
[23:50]And the work that you do is so important.
[23:52]I love, love, love your podcast.
[23:54]I love listening to the conversations with the authors.
[23:57]You just really bring something very special to what you do.
[24:00]Your acorn is beautiful.
[24:01]Oh, thank you.
[24:02]Oh, thank you.
[24:03]So sweet.
[24:04]Thank you.
[24:05]Thanks for listening to Momstone Have Time to Read Books, the award-winning podcast.
[24:09]Today's episode of Momstone Have Time to Read Books was sponsored by pediatrician in your
[24:14]pocket by Dr. Jennifer Tractenberg, Dr. Dash Jen Dotcom, and her code PIP20 PIP20 for 20% off
[24:23]of these can't miss modules that will make your parenting life so much easier.
[24:28]You can follow me on Instagram at Momstone Have Time to Read Books.
[24:32]Thanks so much to Steve and Ryan Tech's texture sound for the sound editing.
[24:36]And thank you to Morning Moon Productions for providing this fantastic intro and out trim
[24:39]music.
[24:40]Thanks for listening.
[24:41]You can always email me at zibi at zibiowans.com.