Dr. Casandra Henriquez, PRINCESS ZARA'S BIRTHDAY TRADITION
[0:08]Hi, I'm Zivi Owens, and you're listening to the award-winning podcast,
[0:11]Moms Don't Have Time to Read Books. Thanks so much for listening to my podcast. If you like what
[0:16]you hear, please follow me on Instagram at ziviowens and also at Moms Don't Have Time to Read Books.
[0:22]About a month ago, I interviewed Dr. Cassandra Henrikas. She goes by the name Coach Cass
[0:27]for my Instagram live show. And we had a great time talking about her children's book,
[0:31]which is called Princess Zara's birthday tradition. My daughter, who's a Miss Seven,
[0:36]is a particularly big fan of Princess Zara. And we just got along great and had
[0:40]a really nice conversation. And I then was able to include Princess Zara's birthday tradition
[0:45]in an article I wrote for The Washington Post, where I did a roundup of some really great
[0:49]children's books that have come out recently. Now, I'm interviewing Coach Cass again.
[0:53]And I'm really happy that she said yes. I reached out to her in the midst of this Black Lives
[0:58]Matter blackout Tuesday period of time. And I wanted to see if she would be open to just having
[1:04]a really warm open dialogue about what's going on, what she thinks everyone can do to help.
[1:12]And what her point of view was on the whole situation. And I just wanted to listen.
[1:17]I know that is the mandate of this week. And I am firmly in support of all of it. And I'm standing
[1:23]by everyone to support the valiant important mission of the Black Lives Matter movement.
[1:29]And I think it's really important to amplify Black voices right now. And I wanted to start
[1:34]by doing this conversation and just letting Coach Cass have a platform to talk about how
[1:40]she feels. And as you'll hear, it was really emotional and open. And I think really important.
[1:45]And she gave some really great specific actionable tips for the rest of us. And as
[1:51]by oh, just so you know a little more about her, Coach Cass also a love coach and matchmaker
[1:56]for successful women with a company called InspireMany.com. She's been a TEDx presenter. She's
[2:02]the creator of the love deck dating conversation cards. Her voice has been on weekly on the
[2:08]number one radio show in South Florida. She's hosted a TV show called Fiscally Fit. She's been
[2:13]mentioned and featured in Women's Day Fast Company, The Washington Post, Forbes and Black Enterprise
[2:18]to name a few. And she currently lives with her daughter Ava and her husband. Anyway, listen to
[2:25]our conversation. I really hope you get something good out of it. I know I did. I know she did.
[2:31]And just listen. And that's really the first step. So come along for the ride with me. And
[2:38]listen to what Coach Cass has to say. And I'm curious to know your thoughts afterwards. But as she
[2:43]says at the end, now that we know we all have an obligation to really help. And that's what I am
[2:50]really trying to do. So anyway, have a listen and thanks to Coach Cass for doing this with me.
[2:55]All right, Coach Cass. We are. Thank you for doing this with me. And welcome to the
[3:02]thank you for reaching out. Oh my gosh. So I reached out to you because obviously as you know,
[3:08]the world is now exploding in so many ways. And we're in the midst of now as we're talking this
[3:14]the blackout for the week. Hashtag same you did for a hashtag Black Lives Matter. And I was
[3:20]saying to myself, like, what can I do? Who can every the whole thing is let's listen, right? I want to
[3:25]give the platform over. And so I thought of you because I had such a great conversation with you.
[3:30]And I just wanted to know, and I hate to even like draw attention to the fact that we're of
[3:35]different races. And I really do in my podcast because for me, it's usually just about the books,
[3:41]right? What was speaking to me? But I want to be mindful and give the opportunity to just
[3:47]discuss and hear like what you're feeling not to make you some sort of ambassador of your entire
[3:52]race. Like I wouldn't like, you know, I wouldn't like, you know, maybe please represent every
[3:57]Jewish person in the world. I'd be like, what? I don't know. I only know what I think. But so I'm not
[4:01]trying to position you that way. But I'm just curious as to how you're feeling and what you think
[4:07]of the whole thing and what what we all can do to sort of help the mission. Zimmy, you just gave me
[4:12]like a five hour talk. Like you just asked some pretty loaded questions. Can we take one at a time?
[4:19]Yes, sorry. Number number one, I do not represent every black person. So just my background,
[4:24]I'm a Jamaican heritage. My family immigrated from Jamaica decades ago to New York. So I grew up
[4:31]in New York. And then I moved to South Florida and I married to a Haitian. And now we have a little
[4:37]baby Jamaican, right? So she's Jamaican and Haitian. My family in terms of race is the gambit,
[4:45]right? From white to black. Because out of many one people is the motto of Jamaica. So I have
[4:51]Lebanese in me. I have Scottish in me. I have English in me. I have white in me. I have black in me.
[4:56]And I'm Jamaican. You know, I remember asking my grandfather, which I really suspect was white,
[5:01]Zibi. I really, really think he was. But I asked him one time. I said, grandpa, I'm like,
[5:05]are you white? He's like, listen to your girl. I'm Jamaican. I was like, okay, all right. And
[5:10]there it is, right? So so it just, it's sometimes it's confusion in terms of identity, right? Because
[5:16]I'm Caribbean American. And so when it comes to the box, I get really confused sometimes,
[5:22]you know, am I black today? Am I African American today? Am I Caribbean American today? Because
[5:27]you're never enough for whatever box, you know, I don't, I don't sit on the stoop in Brooklyn.
[5:32]So maybe I'm not New York or enough. You know, I didn't know all the things of Jamaica,
[5:37]the back hills of Jamaican, all that stuff. So maybe I'm not Jamaican enough. So I just had to
[5:42]come to terms with being enough for me and representing who I am. And really with Zara and Ziggy,
[5:48]you know, just to revisit why that even came to be is because I was looking for birthday,
[5:54]paraphernalia and books for my daughter, having a black princess on it like her. And I couldn't
[6:00]find it. And she was really into princesses. And when I first created the character, she said,
[6:06]mommy, I don't want this one. I want the other one. I want the white one. And I didn't know it was
[6:11]that deep zippy, right? So racism or feeling less than started from the age of two, right? With
[6:18]my child, the age of two Harvard studies show that racism usually starts around three. And
[6:23]you know, being proud of whiteness around five. So it's like, whoa, you know, and I didn't teach
[6:29]this to my kid, right? So out of many one people, I pride myself in terms of my circle being
[6:35]very mixed in terms of culture. So it's been scary. This whole thing has been scary. For me,
[6:42]it has amplified the need for princess Zara and why I'm on a mission for it to become a mainstream
[6:48]cartoon. Because when we turn on a TV, we have tiana. And that's it, right? Maybe. And so it's just like
[6:56]this whole thing has just been like, wow, systemic racism is a thing. And it's a huge thing. So I have
[7:06]attended unconscious bias classes. You know, unraveling our system. What can we do black, white,
[7:13]other, everything in between? How can we work together? And to understand that the way America is set up
[7:19]is not for the average black person to win is scary. And that's just because of the
[7:25]color of the skin, right? So you didn't wake up and say, I want to be Jewish, Zibi today, you know,
[7:33]like you were born into your family. You were born into your skin color. You were born into your
[7:39]circumstance as was I. Now I was privileged enough to have Caribbean parents that had a different way
[7:45]of doing things. But what if you were born into poverty, right? And as a black person, like,
[7:51]there's so many videos on social media right now just educating people about systemic racism and
[7:57]the fact that, you know, our public school systems get their money from property taxes. But if you
[8:02]live in a poorer neighborhood, the property taxes aren't that great compared to an original neighborhood.
[8:06]So in the poorer neighborhood, you might have one computer that everybody has to share in the
[8:11]richer neighborhood. Everybody gets a computer and an iPad and books at home and a tutor. And then,
[8:17]you know, even if you defeat all the odds and you go to a college like my husband, Florida State
[8:24]University or me, Florida International University, and you get your masters and you're getting your
[8:28]doctor and you're doing these amazing things. Still and still, you have to work that much harder
[8:34]to get where the average white middle class American is. It's crazy. It's absolutely crazy, like
[8:42]the tip of the balance and it's just based on skin color. So, Zibi, this is what I had to ask myself.
[8:49]Okay, when does racism start? When does it start? So I'll tell you my child is three now
[8:56]and I plan to send her to a private school, a very good private school in a year or two when she
[9:02]when she's ready for kindergarten. I emailed the principal that administration, the elementary
[9:08]principal and essentially the church because it's a Christian school and I asked them, how do you
[9:16]create equity at your school? And do you celebrate Black History Month? And do you highlight
[9:23]Black people outside of Black History Month? Because just think about it, a lot of middle America,
[9:28]they don't celebrate Black History, right? And then Black History Month and then every day,
[9:34]you know, like, what does that look like? And I got a message from the elementary principal saying,
[9:39]oh, well, you know, we celebrate all people, you know, that word, all is killing me, Zibi,
[9:43]they're all, you know, so they're just not getting it, right? So we celebrate all people, yes,
[9:48]we do Black History Month, yes, we highlight Black people, but it just wasn't enough for me.
[9:52]Do you create a safe space for your young Black boys to speak up? Do you highlight Black students
[9:59]because under...
[10:00]You stand more than likely.
[10:01]They are feeling more oppression just from sitting
[10:03]in your classroom of mixed race, right?
[10:06]Just knowing that are you, take a look.
[10:09]I invited them.
[10:11]Now I haven't gotten the email back yet,
[10:13]but I invited them over the summer, right?
[10:15]We have the whole summer.
[10:16]I know you also need to have COVID new rules
[10:20]to do with your classrooms.
[10:21]I know that's a lot of stress,
[10:22]but also I want you to review all the books
[10:24]in your classroom, the imagery in your classroom,
[10:28]the color of the crayons in your classroom,
[10:32]the diversity in the books,
[10:34]the activity worksheets,
[10:36]the examples and the videos that you send home.
[10:40]Like when you start to realize that about 99%
[10:44]of our stuff is white and looks nothing like half
[10:47]of the kids in the class, it's a problem, zippy.
[10:50]And all of me, I'm getting so worked up over it
[10:54]because I specifically went out and bought multi-cultural
[10:57]crayons because yes, I have free coloring sheets
[10:59]for Princess Zara, but the regular crayon in the box
[11:02]is just not a cute color.
[11:03]Like the black black, no, like she's like a mocha brown.
[11:08]Where's the mocha brown?
[11:09]Where's the caramel brown?
[11:10]Where's my color, right?
[11:11]What color is this, right?
[11:13]So being able to realize that diversity is a lot
[11:19]to be done.
[11:21]And when I get the worksheets, it's upsetting.
[11:24]It's upsetting to me, even looking at the images
[11:26]of Jesus, right?
[11:28]Everywhere it's white Jesus, it's like Jesus had a tan.
[11:31]Okay, maybe he wasn't dark-skinned, but he had a tan.
[11:34]Like how come there is like nothing out there
[11:37]with a tan on Jesus?
[11:38]So it's just, it has been a lot.
[11:43]So in terms of what I personally have done,
[11:46]I at least reached out to a school.
[11:49]I have reached out to my school district
[11:51]in terms of getting Princess Zara into the hands
[11:54]of every child in the school system
[11:56]because the thing is, it's not just for black students
[11:59]to have a black princess, but I need the white,
[12:01]the Asian, the Hispanic, because when we create
[12:04]that level playing field that, you know what,
[12:07]black is respectable, it's cool.
[12:10]Just think about it.
[12:11]How do we learn about black people in history?
[12:14]They were slaves, MLK did some good things,
[12:17]but he was assassinated, Malcolm X assassinated.
[12:20]You know, like when we, when we talk about all these
[12:22]amazing things that black people did,
[12:24]it's like this counter act to oppress us in the narrative.
[12:28]So even to that school that I emailed,
[12:30]Zibi, they said, I asked them, I said,
[12:33]do you teach about the African kings and queens?
[12:36]Like, you know, okay, the people were taken as slaves
[12:39]from Africa, but more than likely they were royalty.
[12:42]Africa is a rich country, like what do you do to highlight
[12:44]that then the response was, oh, well, you know,
[12:48]I don't know if schools cover African history.
[12:53]And I'm like, well, they need to, right?
[12:55]Because if the only back narrative of America,
[12:59]black starting here is slavery,
[13:01]I need you to take it one step back
[13:04]to help paint the full picture.
[13:06]Because right now, as a white child sitting in a classroom,
[13:09]I learned, okay, black and white, you couldn't eat,
[13:13]you couldn't drink water, you couldn't do what I did.
[13:16]So you're not as good as me, right?
[13:19]So yeah, maybe things got done,
[13:21]but like when we talk about race in the classroom
[13:23]is usually, oh, this was what was wrong
[13:25]with black people and why they couldn't do what
[13:27]the white kids did.
[13:28]And if I'm white, I'm like, okay, right?
[13:31]And then the black kids are like, oh, man,
[13:33]I couldn't do that.
[13:34]So then the black parents at home have to do
[13:36]like this extra reprogramming of,
[13:39]you're so beautiful, black is beautiful.
[13:41]Let me buy you dolls.
[13:43]Let me tell you how gorgeous you are.
[13:44]Let me tell you how smart you are.
[13:46]And the parents have to do all this extra emphasis
[13:48]or the churches have to do, you know,
[13:50]God loves all, everyone is equal, you know,
[13:53]the synagogues, you know, everybody has to do
[13:55]all of this extra work that if our schools
[13:59]really started to teach our children properly, right?
[14:03]In terms of creating equity,
[14:05]I think we'll be much further
[14:06]because literally 100% of our future starts with our children.
[14:12]Wow.
[14:13]Hey, you just asked me, you know, like a million things.
[14:17]I thought you were interrupting me.
[14:20]So I was like, okay, I'll, I'll keep going.
[14:22]I love it.
[14:23]No, I love hearing what you have to say.
[14:25]And it's so true.
[14:26]And it's some of the things that would not have occurred to me
[14:29]even about the crayons.
[14:30]And that's such a simple fix.
[14:32]Once you realize it's a problem.
[14:33]And I think that's part of what this whole thing is trying
[14:36]to show, right?
[14:37]That some of these things, if you just are aware
[14:40]then you can start to fix it.
[14:42]And that's so interesting how you say that about children.
[14:44]And I'm wondering if you think there are things
[14:46]for grownups, like is it too late for the rest of us?
[14:49]I don't know.
[14:50]I don't think so.
[14:50]So like, what can we use grownups to?
[14:52]And like, what can my background is in public health?
[14:55]So I go back to the systemic root cause of things, you know?
[14:58]So yeah, for the adults is definitely not too late, right?
[15:01]So I actually like this movement to amplify black voices.
[15:06]So I'm going to tell you some things to be
[15:08]that I haven't shared publicly with anyone.
[15:10]I've been promoting this book for maybe two months now, right?
[15:15]And like, you and one of them were very open.
[15:21]And like, all right, let's, you know,
[15:23]let's put this out there.
[15:24]You know, you went the extra mile to help promote the book.
[15:27]And I have white friends living.
[15:30]And it wasn't until all of this happened
[15:35]that I saw the extra effort to help promote,
[15:39]to help share the vision, to help say,
[15:43]this is something that's needed.
[15:45]And I'm like, why did it take like a national war
[15:50]for you to speak up?
[15:52]And you're my friend.
[15:54]We break bread, our children play.
[15:57]We hang out.
[15:59]You know why I started this.
[16:00]You tell me I'm so supportive.
[16:03]But the share button, which costs no one, anything.
[16:08]Didn't get hit until blackout Tuesday, right?
[16:13]Right?
[16:14]So it's tough, you know?
[16:18]So my husband's like, oh, you should be excited
[16:19]that they shared.
[16:20]I'm like, yes, a part of me is excited that they shared.
[16:23]A part of me is saddened that when they shared.
[16:26]I've been promoting this thing.
[16:28]Like, we hit number one bestseller
[16:30]without really my white friends being behind me, right?
[16:35]So it's just like, what the heck?
[16:38]And I make no excuses for it.
[16:40]I don't want to know the story behind the story.
[16:42]I'm just saying it is what it is.
[16:44]And I notice, right?
[16:46]So I'm talking about business, friends, mastermind,
[16:49]friends, white clients, you know, all of it.
[16:53]You know what I mean?
[16:53]Like it took all of this for you to be like, you know what?
[16:58]You're doing something pretty cool.
[17:00]Maybe I should buy your book.
[17:01]Maybe I should tell my friends to buy your book.
[17:03]Well, wait, where was that love and coolness?
[17:07]So what's a go?
[17:08]You know, so it's never too late.
[17:11]I'm still appreciative, especially, you know,
[17:13]like you are here sharing my story
[17:15]and the story of those who identify
[17:18]with what I'm saying, right?
[17:20]But, you know, it's still so sad.
[17:23]It's still so sad.
[17:25]So I'm grateful, but for the adults,
[17:27]I did post the other day that, you know,
[17:30]look into spending 25% of your monthly expenses
[17:34]with a black business.
[17:36]When you think about it, you have to go out of your way.
[17:39]She had to travel to a supermarket 30 minutes from her house.
[17:42]You know, she had to go out of her way
[17:44]to support black business, right?
[17:46]And I hear you tell me,
[17:48]there's a whole book about the Jewish phenomenon
[17:50]about how Jewish people like really go out of their way
[17:52]to help each other and the dollar
[17:55]and the Jewish community turns over eight times,
[17:58]but then like in the black community's like one time, right?
[18:01]So it's like, how do we, on the other side say,
[18:03]okay, white allies, my Hispanic allies,
[18:06]how about you support us, right?
[18:08]Like, what does your hair dresser look like?
[18:12]Your nail specialist, your daycare, your church,
[18:15]your synagogue, your earrings, your hair care products,
[18:19]you know, whatever it is, you know, like,
[18:21]have you made a list of all the things
[18:23]that you really spend money on each month?
[18:25]And have you said, okay, well, let me try and support
[18:27]a black person, because at the end of the day,
[18:29]this is an economic famine.
[18:32]The dollar goes further in the black community,
[18:34]and it means so much more.
[18:35]So a black restaurant, just think about it,
[18:38]like what nine out of 10 restaurants go out of business?
[18:41]So it's like, was the last time you purposely went out
[18:43]of your way to buy from a black restaurant,
[18:45]try black food, you know, and black food,
[18:47]you know, different cultures, right?
[18:49]So I'm just putting black on everything,
[18:50]but you know, there's many different layers to black,
[18:53]you know, we got to make it, we got Haitian,
[18:55]see, we have black Italian,
[18:56]there's so many mixed rates, right?
[18:58]So there's so much to support,
[19:02]but yes, it is a cognizant effort for our allies
[19:06]to say, you know what?
[19:07]This is something I need to do.
[19:08]Before I go to Macy's or Nordstrom to buy my pretty dress,
[19:12]is there a custom seamstress or designer
[19:15]that's black that I can then help to promote?
[19:17]And then promote, say where you got it from,
[19:20]share the picture, share the resource,
[19:22]tell a friend, text somebody, you know,
[19:24]just like when you get excited about anything else,
[19:26]your new show on Netflix,
[19:28]I need you to also get excited about supporting
[19:30]a black business.
[19:31]And what about people recommending particular books,
[19:35]like even there are a lot of books now I'm like blank on,
[19:38]and there's like a whole list right going around,
[19:41]yeah, like having anti-racist and voice supremacy in me
[19:45]and like all these books.
[19:47]Yeah.
[19:48]Now everyone's like, read these books, read these books.
[19:50]Is that a good thing?
[19:51]Is that a bad thing?
[19:52]Is that offensive?
[19:53]No, I think no, I don't think it's offensive at all, right?
[19:56]So I specifically have a Bible study group
[19:58]and of which,
[20:00]I have white women in my Bible study group and they honestly were like, yo, I didn't know,
[20:05]I'm sorry, right? And a part of you is like, what do you mean? Is it enough? But then at the same
[20:10]time, what do we talk about in Bible study, God's love, how are the kids? You know, nobody's really
[20:15]talking about, well, you know, when I walked down the street, someone crossed the street because I was
[20:19]black or whatever else, those conversations don't come up in normal conversation. We talk about
[20:24]normal stuff, like how you and I talked about normal stuff. You child trace the unicorn,
[20:28]yay, right? So we're not talking about the madness of being black and white in the difference.
[20:34]So I do think those anti-racism resources are amazing. And I've seen a couple, I haven't read them,
[20:41]right? But I have seen like in some of my business groups where white women spoke up about books
[20:46]that they have written, they're like, this challenged me how I was raised. And I do see that I
[20:52]have privilege, you know, and the thing is that most of us don't know that we're prejudiced or
[20:57]we're racist. I remember going to a workshop, a diversity and inclusion workshop, and specifically
[21:03]the speaker put pictures, right? So just imagine as a picture of an Indian woman, an Indian man,
[21:08]a white woman that was pregnant, a white man, and like those marinas, a white feeder, right?
[21:13]A black man, a black woman with natural hair, an Indian woman. And it was like, okay,
[21:19]write down your immediate thoughts about these people, right? So me, black Jamaican New Yorker
[21:26]wrote down and she was like, which one of these people would you trust? And you know who I chose
[21:31]to trust? I chose to trust the Indian woman with the hijab and the black woman with the natural
[21:36]hair. Everybody else, I was like, I don't know. He smiled a little weird. I don't know. I don't
[21:42]know about you. And this was just pictures, right? Normal people and pictures. So we all have
[21:48]prejudice within us. So it is important for you to say, what are my prejudices? Let me explore that
[21:55]and then let me squash it. You know, is that real? Is that right? Is that forward thinking, right?
[22:02]So we all have to do this on a daily basis, right? So when your picture comes up on a screen,
[22:07]people might say, Zibi, blah, blah, blah, blah. And they don't know you, right? And this could be
[22:12]other white Jewish women. It could be other black women, whoever. So it's our own prejudices that we
[22:18]need to deal with. So those anti racism resources, I think are a great start. And then also diversify
[22:25]your circle. Because if your circle is also white, y'all talking about being anti racism all day
[22:32]long, it's like the blind leading the blind. Just like, so you know, I'm a love coach. So this is what
[22:36]I tell my my single professional ladies is like, okay, so if you just surround yourself with
[22:40]single ladies all day, it's the blind leading the blind. You're just on one thing.
[22:43]Oh, this app. I don't know about this app. I don't know what a man wants. Oh, man, you know,
[22:47]it's just like, that's the conversation all day. You're not growing. You're not. It's just
[22:52]you need my help. So with, with those circles, you want to make sure that there's more diversity
[22:58]in your circles. What kind of schools are you sending your children to? Is there diversity there?
[23:03]All black, all white isn't good, right? So diversity in your schools, being able to say, okay,
[23:09]let's do play dates with this black family, right? Let's make friends with a black family.
[23:14]And then let's eat bread and just have fun, right? As people, we're not necessarily saying,
[23:20]do you see that little Billy is black? What do you think about black? Like, it doesn't have to be
[23:25]that, right? It's like, Billy's cool. Joey's cool. We have a good time together, right? And it's like,
[23:31]it's that simple for helping our children understand that having friendships outside of our race is
[23:37]good, right? And they got to see mommy and daddy do that as well, right? So mommy and daddy don't
[23:43]have no friends that don't look like them. You know, that's not really setting the right example.
[23:47]Where do you find black friends? Hey, message somebody on Instagram. Is that a DM? You want to be my
[23:52]friend? I need friends, right? So being able to start to diversify and even hire black coaches. Okay,
[23:59]so Zippy, this is a whole other thing, right? So you see, I'm light skin, right? So on a day, maybe,
[24:04]you know, I'm light, you know, I have white in me somewhere. You know, so what's so crazy to me
[24:10]is that the majority of my clients are black, right? I do not consider myself a black coach.
[24:18]I do not market myself as a black coach. I do not do black only conversation. Love is a universal
[24:24]conversation yet. Black women are attracted to me. The white women I have had as clients
[24:31]mainly have been one on one and have been very targeted referrals versus just, you know, in the air
[24:38]saw me somewhere was like, oh, I need to hire this lady, which is crazy to me, right? So I start
[24:43]to see that in different arenas. When you see coaches out there and they're putting on events and
[24:47]it's a black coach more than likely the entire audience, no matter if it's a thousand people,
[24:52]it's black with a few sparse in. But I see that when there's a white culture speaker, right,
[24:57]looking all the diversity, everybody signs up like, what is that, right? So then that's
[25:03]something else to think about. As a white person watching this right now, like, where do you go
[25:09]for advice? Is it only white? Do you diversify the coaches and the personal development that you
[25:15]invest into? Who are you listening to? Right? So I invite you to invest in black business when
[25:22]it comes to your coaches, to your mentors, to the people that you are looking to. Have you ever
[25:27]picked up a TDJX podcast? You know, like, being able to diversify who you're listening to because
[25:33]if it's all white, it's all one thing, right? But me, as a black person, most black people
[25:38]have a whole diversity in who they listen to because we understand it's what's out there and
[25:43]we're looking to get the best information. So I noticed that that also is unequal in terms of the
[25:49]personal development space as well. Very interesting. You're awesome. You're like, here's what you
[25:58]should do. You should open your own school because I'm a little nervous that you reached out
[26:02]to the admissions director with all those questions before getting into the school. So not to say
[26:06]you're not going to get in. I'm sure you will. But just in case you are so talented. No,
[26:12]seriously, like, people need leaders and educators who can tell like it is the way that you're doing
[26:17]and who can give the examples that you're saying. Like, anyway, not that you need to open a school
[26:21]in your spare time, but girl, that would be great. You know, it's on the list of the many to do list.
[26:28]Right now we want princess Zara to be a mainstream cartoon on like a PBS. You know, that's the focus
[26:33]right now. But yeah, you know, we'll see. Hopefully I didn't get kicked out just from mama speaking
[26:40]up because then once again, that's white privilege. The black lady speaking out gets kicked out and
[26:44]can't come in because she has a voice, right? That would be for anybody. I feel like I can't say,
[26:49]I can't even call my school administrator and be like, could someone so have this teacher? I'm like,
[26:55]to afraid. I'm like, I don't want to ruffle on your own. That's the thing. Okay, so let's talk
[27:00]about that. We have to ruffle the physics. So for me and for my husband, we are non political
[27:06]on our social media platforms. It's love. Right. My husband teaches business owners about storytelling
[27:13]and speaking. He literally after this is speaking to an entire network marketing company that has
[27:19]over 10,000 people right here on this camera, right? So we don't want to ruffle feathers, right?
[27:26]Feather Rufflin is not our thing. We try and keep it PC like we love everybody. But with everything
[27:33]going on, we realized that our silence was not okay. And we were hurting. But the fact that we weren't
[27:41]using our platform to be vocal or our influence to be vocal, it was hurting us more than anything
[27:48]because there were people looking to us. So that same network marketing company that we reached out
[27:53]to him was because of the post that he made as a black man living in America. And what he has been
[28:00]through that the CEO said, I need you to talk to my field. This is too much for me,
[28:08]blacks against whites, races, you know, sales, COVID, you know, this is a lot going on. And I
[28:15]looking to you to be the voice, right? So the fact that he lived in his truth, the fact that I'm
[28:22]living in my truth, it's opening different types of doors. It's scary because we are not feather
[28:27]Rufflers, right? We love everyone. Jesus loves you. Right. But we also have to realize that, you know,
[28:35]this stuff is real. And, you know, prejudice, racism, all this craziness is real. And if somebody
[28:43]chooses not to do business with us or hire us because we just spoke about, hey, treat black people
[28:48]right and buy from them, then something's wrong with them. You know, like then that's just business,
[28:53]we don't need it. They're undercover person that doesn't want to hear it. So be it. But I'm being
[28:59]about a boom. So to you, I know that's probably the top school in your area and you really love them.
[29:04]I really would still say, you know, to still speak your truth, you know, if there's someone specific
[29:10]that you want your child to learn from or something that you want to see in terms of crayons or
[29:15]admit, hey, you buy the crayons and drop it off at the school for every class. You know,
[29:19]if you want the book by the book and drop it off, that makes it real easy. You know, the activity
[29:23]sheets like, hey, I'll volunteer sometimes to look through the activity sheets and find your new ones.
[29:27]You know, like, so we could be a part of the solution too. It's not just saying, hey, school,
[29:31]this is what you need to do because we already know short staff, people tired, dead of
[29:35]too many Zoom meetings. So being a part of the solution and speaking up is a big deal. So I say,
[29:42]go ahead and ruffle those feathers. You are 100% right. You are 100% right. And that's a great
[29:47]idea for people to get the book and give it to their schools and just like drop it off. I mean,
[29:52]it's supposed to some sort of theoretical. We should do X, Y, Z. Just can do it. Let's be practical.
[29:58]I literally did a dress.
[30:00]to a preschool because someone bought it
[30:02]for their preschool class, you know?
[30:04]So, and then I said every name like Eliza,
[30:07]you're awesome.
[30:08]You got a book.
[30:08]You got a book.
[30:09]I felt like Oprah.
[30:10]You got a book.
[30:11]You know, so it was cool, right?
[30:13]So that they did that for the students.
[30:15]It matters.
[30:17]It matters.
[30:18]And yes, all lives matter,
[30:19]but looking at everything going on in our society,
[30:23]it's a replay, y'all.
[30:24]It is a replay.
[30:26]Like look at 20 years ago, look at,
[30:28]look at Rodney King.
[30:29]Look at years before that.
[30:31]Look at MOK.
[30:32]Look at slavery.
[30:33]Like, hello, do we need to continue?
[30:34]Like, do we want our kids going out to protest in 20 years?
[30:38]Because we still haven't gotten this, right?
[30:41]This is just stupid.
[30:42]You and I are human.
[30:44]Give us the same opportunities,
[30:46]whether my name is Sarah or Shanika.
[30:49]It should be the same.
[30:50]You know, just because we have a different background
[30:52]doesn't mean that we can't work just as hard, right?
[30:54]So it's scary, you know?
[30:57]So yes, something needs to be done now.
[31:00]And if you're not a part of the solution,
[31:02]seriously, you're part of the problem, right?
[31:05]Because if you're sitting back and doing nothing,
[31:07]then see you in 20 years, right?
[31:10]So with your gray hairs, your gray chin hairs,
[31:12]see you at the protest line then.
[31:15]It's bananas.
[31:16]Well, thank you so much for talking to me about this.
[31:19]I really appreciate, no, I mean it.
[31:21]And it's just really, it really means a lot to me.
[31:24]And I want to be able to share your thoughts and feelings,
[31:27]which are so genuine and honest and smart.
[31:33]And I knew it would be because I already talked to you
[31:36]that went out great a little bit and everything again.
[31:39]No, even something as simple as a child getting a new picture
[31:43]but can make all the difference.
[31:44]So well, not all the difference.
[31:46]That's just little pieces of it.
[31:47]Right.
[31:47]But it's a step.
[31:49]It's a step.
[31:50]You know, it's a step.
[31:51]Like I created a whole Amazon store girl
[31:54]with resources because it's the truth.
[31:57]And we're not conscious.
[31:59]If my immediate circle is not conscious, right?
[32:03]I get it, right?
[32:05]I get it.
[32:06]So if I'm here and we sit down every day
[32:08]and you tell me you didn't know,
[32:11]I totally forgive every person that says I didn't know.
[32:14]But now you know.
[32:15]So when you know better, you do better Maya Angelou, right?
[32:20]So there's no more excuses.
[32:22]The question is, what are you going to change?
[32:25]Who are you going to invest in?
[32:27]And how can you call others to change?
[32:29]racist grandma is no longer acceptable in the conversation.
[32:33]Challenge your grandma.
[32:34]I know she's 92, right?
[32:36]Challenge your best friend.
[32:38]Challenge your other friends that are making
[32:39]all these crazy remarks online.
[32:42]Like, yo, keep that in your house.
[32:43]Don't put that online.
[32:45]Like, what are you doing?
[32:46]I know one guy that took it down
[32:48]because it was affecting his business,
[32:50]the foolishness that he was saying online.
[32:51]Like, oh, white and black people started to fire him
[32:55]because of the foolishness that he was talking about.
[32:58]You know, and I'll just touch on this.
[32:59]Many people have a lot to say about the looting and shooting
[33:02]but understand that there are so many underlying
[33:05]systemic things happening.
[33:07]And remember, there were peaceful protests, right?
[33:09]And okay, peaceful protested, he was assassinated.
[33:13]Colin Kaepernick, he protested, he was fired, right?
[33:17]Very peaceful, right?
[33:20]And the riots after MLK happened for maybe six days
[33:24]and then the Civil Rights Act was passed, six days later, right?
[33:28]So there's power still in rioting.
[33:30]I don't condone messing anybody's stuff up, right?
[33:34]But at the end of the day, I still understand
[33:36]all of the things that go under it, right?
[33:39]So literally, if somebody slaps you in the face
[33:43]and they don't say sorry, are you upset?
[33:45]I think so.
[33:46]The only thing is black people have been getting
[33:48]slapped in the face for centuries.
[33:50]So the thing is, are you going to help the hand stop slapping?
[33:54]Hello.
[33:55]Dun, dun, dun.
[33:57]Here's one thing that I saw on Facebook.
[33:59]You know, Facebook is like the new place.
[34:01]I don't watch the news, but I definitely
[34:03]watch social media and it's definitely been jacking me up,
[34:05]guys, I need to go on a social media fast.
[34:08]But I have a friend that went to a store
[34:11]and they said, hey, your $20 bill, $100 bill is counterfeit.
[34:15]And she said, no, it's not.
[34:16]They're like, yes, it is.
[34:18]And so she used her card and then she went over to the bank
[34:21]and she said to the banker, is this counterfeit?
[34:22]And the banker said, no, did this store such and such
[34:26]say that it was counterfeit?
[34:27]She said, yes, he said, that's been an ongoing problem.
[34:31]So just imagine George Floyd was, my girlfriend,
[34:35]she literally was like, what if the police were present?
[34:38]Could I have ended up like George Floyd?
[34:41]Because at the end of the day, it was just
[34:42]an accusation of a counterfeit bill that may have may not
[34:45]have been, right?
[34:47]So just understand that their parallel universe
[34:52]is that we walk in and just be grateful for your life
[34:55]for what it is today.
[34:57]But the question is, what are you going to do with it?
[35:01]What's going to be between that dash on your tombstone?
[35:04]The day you were born and the day that you died,
[35:07]what are people going to say about that dash?
[35:10]Did you sit complacently?
[35:12]Did you sit silently?
[35:13]Did you make those racial jokes?
[35:15]Did you just be or did you make a difference?
[35:18]Did you stand up for those who needed their voices
[35:21]to be amplified?
[35:22]Did you invest in black businesses?
[35:24]Did you challenge your schools, your churches, your synagogues,
[35:28]your religious groups, your non-religious groups,
[35:30]your groups of groups, whatever group you're a part of?
[35:33]Did you challenge them?
[35:35]And when you lay down on that deathbed,
[35:37]can you look back and say, I'm proud of the person
[35:41]that I was?
[35:43]And I'm proud, as I sit here, because others will know
[35:47]that I made a difference.
[35:48]That's my charge to you.
[35:49]I'm Coach Cat.
[35:51]Hello.
[35:53]Thanks, baby.
[35:54]Thanks, Coach Cat.
[35:56]That is great talking to you.
[35:59]Thanks again for listening to my podcast.
[36:01]Moms don't have time to read books.
[36:02]If you liked this episode, please follow me
[36:05]on Instagram at zippyowans and at moms
[36:08]don't have time to read books.
[36:09]And sign up for my mailing list at zippyowans.com
[36:12]so you can always hear about the latest things I'm up to.
[36:15]Thanks a lot.
[36:16]Thanks to Blueland Cleaning, our sponsor for today's
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[36:27]Thanks so much to Steve and Ryan at Texture Sound
[36:29]for the sound editing.
[36:31]And thank you to Morning Moon Productions
[36:32]for providing this fantastic intro and out trim music.
[36:35]Thanks for listening.
[36:36]You could always email me at zippyowans.com.