Zibby reflects briefly on the past six months

[0:00]Somehow six months have gone by six months ago in early March March 12th to be exact

[0:06]I said Kyle hurry pack up for two weeks. We got to get out of here. We raised around late crazy

[0:13]Just a night or two before we had been out at a restaurant thinking are we supposed to be at the stress drown or not?

[0:19]I don't know

[0:19]I had even had an event that Monday for mom some time to read books with two authors and Shoshana Grace and

[0:26]We didn't know what was coming and then you know Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson got Coronavirus and they shut down the NBA and

[0:33]We panicked and of course then the schools closed and everything stopped

[0:38]At first it was oh should we go and spring break or not and then questions like that became ridiculous

[0:43]So of course we packed up and we were fortunate enough to have another place to go out on Long Island and

[0:49]the kids and I have been here for six months and I

[0:53]Never could have

[0:55]anticipated the devastation that this virus has wrought on the world

[1:00]I never could have imagined

[1:02]How quickly life could just completely change things like air travel

[1:09]You know going to the theater and the movies and going out to eat and shopping and all those things that make up sort of what you do going to school and

[1:17]It's just stopped that all of it just stopped

[1:20]And we all hit out and I just can't believe that this is what's happened

[1:26]I can't believe what's happened to my city today. I'm going back for the first time and I have so many mixed emotions about it

[1:33]I'm scared. I know the crime is so high. I know that the Upper East side is sort of overrun

[1:39]I know that

[1:42]It's just not going to be how I left it and I'm a little scared about it

[1:47]Not to say the many of you who stayed in the city have anything to be scared of just it's my own anxiety

[1:53]especially given my recent losses of course of Kyle's mom

[1:56]Susan and his grandma and Eany and how we got to see the coronavirus up close and personal which was

[2:02]The worst thing I think I've ever had happened in my life

[2:06]We talked to doctors every three hours. We saw

[2:09]how this virus just attacked the body and the soul and the mind that in season fought

[2:15]So valiantly and just refused to give up until she just her body spoke

[2:21]It's final words and that was it. She couldn't fight it anymore, but

[2:26]Throughout it all I've been trying to adapt with my business

[2:29]I've been trying to help authors as much as possible

[2:32]I did my whole Instagram live thing at the beginning and started my city's virtual book club and I've just been trying to find new and creative ways to help

[2:40]Which I'm searching for now as well

[2:42]And now here I am and it's time and these six months

[2:49]Which have brought joys and sorrows greater than I could ever have expected the joys of spending so much time with my kids and Kyle

[2:58]The quality time the walks the laughs all of it the cooking

[3:03]Kyle cooks like every meal and then of course the hardships and the losses not just mine, but everybody's I mean

[3:09]It's just unbelievable. So I'm going back to the city a completely changed person

[3:15]I am not who I was when I left by any stretch. It's not my first loss, but having watched this pandemic unfold. How can I not be the same really?

[3:26]I'm a lot more sensitive than I was before even though I was super sensitive. My I feel like every nerve ending is on edge

[3:34]I'm tapped into sort of the collective emotions of the world even though that sounds hokey

[3:41]I feel like I've made so many friends online although that makes me sound like a creepy stalker or something, but I've shared my soul

[3:48]I've really bared my inner most feelings and

[3:51]Have gotten so much back from doing so. I feel like so many of you know me

[3:57]I don't have the you know, I haven't had the fortune it the fortune to get to know myself and

[4:04]so many people out there have been rooting for me, which is so kind and

[4:08]The best part is that without sort of this community on Instagram and everything

[4:13]It would have been far more lonely. I have gotten so much out of

[4:18]being able to connect with with all of you and

[4:22]It's been really second to none and of course through the podcast

[4:27]Also, but that's of course a one-way street Instagram is my two-way street and

[4:33]I'm grateful for it

[4:35]So as I wrap up these six months the kids a little taller. They're pants a little shorter. They're shoes a little tighter

[4:42]I

[4:44]am slamming the trunk and getting in the car and getting ready to

[4:50]to cross the

[4:52]cross the line to where I started and

[4:55]I don't know what the next six months will bring I hope to God that

[5:01]they don't bring the kind of loss and

[5:04]divisiveness and

[5:06]tragedy that the previous six months have I'm really really praying for that and

[5:12]All I can say is that we're all in this together and that the connections between individuals and our shared grief and our shared love and loss and all of it

[5:22]That's that's sort of what I'm hanging my hat on these days. So

[5:27]As the skyline sort of peaks into view. I can just see it happening in just a couple hours

[5:33]I'll be holding all of you in my back pocket and

[5:37]Ready to tackle the next six months together and I hope you're I hope you're up for it

[5:43]All right, thank you and sending lots of love to all of you even though I don't know you I

[5:48]feel your love towards me and

[5:50]I send it all right back. We're all in this together. I'm with you. Thanks