Meredith Masony, ASK ME WHAT'S FOR DINNER ONE MORE TIME

2020-09-25 · 32:41 · Meredith Masony · Podcast Audio

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[2:12]month of fantastic listening. Thank you.

[2:15]I had such a great conversation with Meredith Masony, who founded That's Inappropriate,

[2:20]which is a thriving online parenting community with over 4 million people. She writes and

[2:25]blogs about all the taboo parts of raising kids. Some of her funny Frank Dispatches have gone viral,

[2:31]like Go Ask Your Mother, which had 30.4 million views. Her most recent hits speak to the

[2:36]realities of pandemic parenting. Like, this is how homeschool is going. Things mom say quarantined

[2:42]addition. Her content has been featured by today, Good Morning America, and many other places.

[2:47]Her new book is called Ask Me What's For Dinner One More Time. I hope you enjoy it.

[2:52]Hi. Hello.

[2:53]Thank you, Meredith, for coming on mom's don't have time to read books. I'm delighted to be talking

[2:57]to you today about Ask Me What's For Dinner. One more time, Inappropriate. That's

[3:02]on motherhood, which was like basically the Bible of my life here. So thank you.

[3:07]I'm glad you enjoyed it. I love your shelves and how your books are color coded.

[3:13]Yes. Okay. I thought I was like, am I seeing something with them? I was like, no,

[3:18]we're definitely colors. They are. Yes. They are. I know. Yeah.

[3:23]I've got it like this for a couple of years and it looks great. It makes an extremely

[3:27]pleasant viewing experience. So I'm so glad I'm going to write in the day a little bit with that.

[3:32]You did.

[3:34]There's so much to talk about in your book and your whole journey to becoming like a YouTube

[3:38]sensation and all of your your just success in general. But I wanted to start if you don't mind with

[3:45]like the worst part I'm guessing of of your life when you were dealing with your esophageal cancer

[3:51]and where it wasn't cancer, your tumor and what happened then and how it made you basically

[3:56]have a whole new approach to life. Well, I guess, you know, everybody kind of has an origin story.

[4:03]So that would technically be mine because it did at the time feel like I was being punished,

[4:08]but it ended up being this gift. You know, I had been sick for a while and I just ignored it.

[4:15]Because I think as moms we have a tendency to do that. We ignore and we say I'll get to it later

[4:21]and you end up coming last because you have to take care of everybody else's needs.

[4:26]And finally, after several trips to the doctor and then just upping my heartburn medication,

[4:32]I finally demanded a scope. And I said, I need I need you to look inside because I was starting to

[4:39]have a problem where I wasn't able even able to swallow my food. My food was coming up. My pills

[4:45]pills were coming up. And I got him to do the scan or the scope. And well, we noticed something.

[4:51]There's a lump. Well, what does that mean? What's a lump? Why is there a lump there? What do you mean?

[4:55]Next scope, he just handed me off and said, I can't even be your doctor. You have an esophageal tumor

[5:02]that has broken through your esophagus, which is why you aren't able to swallow food right now.

[5:08]And you have to see an oncologist. And it kind of it went very quickly from there

[5:15]because I was 34, three small children and basically handed off by a doctor who had ignored me

[5:22]for over a year. And I panicked. I started to panic. And you start to have all of these thoughts,

[5:29]right? Because you're like, okay, if I die, who's going to do the laundry? Who's going to

[5:34]cook for these kids? Who's going to do all the drop-offs and the pickups? Who's going to do all

[5:38]the jobs that I do on top of the relationship that is with your spouse, right? And it's like,

[5:45]you just, you panic. So I did a lot of closet drinking and crying, if we're being honest.

[5:53]And then I also realized after I panicked and cried about all of those things,

[5:59]I grieved about a life that I hadn't lived, which sounds so selfish because part of it is

[6:06]selfish because you didn't get to do the things that you wanted to do. And then people will

[6:11]scold you and say, well, you got to be a wife and a mother. And it's like, well, yes, but that's

[6:14]part of what I wanted to do. There were lots of other things that I wanted to do that I put on the

[6:19]back burner because I assumed I'd have time. And now you're telling me after I did that part that

[6:25]there's no time. And so that became like this quiet shame I held because I was mourning a life that

[6:34]I was possibly not going to be able to live and then felt guilt about that because I think

[6:39]as women and wives, we feel guilty about everything. So luckily, the tumor ended up being benign.

[6:46]They were able to remove it. I had to have three reconstructive surgeries, but it was this blessing

[6:53]because it opened up my eyes. And it made me realize that if you want to do something, do it

[6:58]today. Do not wait for tomorrow because you don't know what's going to happen tomorrow. I'm not

[7:04]not to sound too dramatic, but you could step off the curb and, you know, get hit by a car. You

[7:11]could, you know, there are so many things that could happen that nobody thinks about. And it could

[7:17]be it. That could be it. And I was given, I was given a gift. And it completely changed my

[7:24]perspective on being a mom, being a wife, being a woman, eventually becoming an entrepreneur,

[7:31]it changed everything in my world. Well, I'm sorry you had to go through that, but I'm happy that

[7:38]for all the benefits that I yielded and the way that you're able to sort of reframe what could be

[7:43]a negative experience and turn it into such a positive. That's like the essential like

[7:49]A plus therapy moves, should I be like. And the thing is, is it's not like it was positive while I

[7:55]was going through it. I'm not going to lie and tell you that I was like, Oh, a tumor will get through

[8:00]it. Like, no, I cried. And I screamed at God. And I said, Why are you doing this to me? Like,

[8:06]what did I do? What what mistakes did I make? Like, I know I I was probably awful to my parents,

[8:12]you know, is this punishment for that? Is this is this punishment for, you know, acting out as a

[8:17]teen? And then like, what is this punishment for? Because you assume when this happens, I'm being

[8:22]punished for something as a as an ex Catholic. I'm a Catholic light now, so to speak. But as an ex

[8:29]Catholic, I assume this was punishment. God was rendering some justice on my life. And it was

[8:36]difficult to wrangle with that and be like, Look at these kids and think, you know, when the doctor

[8:40]looked at me and he said, I have to operate now. Because if this is cancerous and I go in and I go to

[8:46]remove it and it has spread, you're not going to be here for Thanksgiving. Like, you don't have that

[8:51]time to wait. And that was just like holy crap. What do you mean? I don't have the time. Of course,

[8:57]I'll be here at Thanksgiving. Like, why would I not be here at Thanksgiving? It's August. Like,

[9:01]of course, but you don't. You don't know that. And so it was very trying during the time. But I

[9:07]literally from the moment I opened my eyes and my husband looked at me and said it wasn't cancer,

[9:12]you're going to be okay. I had just this relief and this feeling of a million pounds being lifted off

[9:21]of my chest. And I said, I've got to do something. I have so many things I need to do. I want to

[9:27]do everything that I said I was going to do from when I was five years old until now. Like, I'm going

[9:32]to do all of it. And I've taken lots of risks. I've been told no a million times. I have failed.

[9:40]But I have also been so blessed to get to do so many of those things that I wanted to do

[9:45]from when I was a little kid. And I'll take it. What are some examples of those things? Like, what

[9:52]something you always wanted to do? So I always wanted to be a comedian in some way, shape, or form.

[9:58]I loved.

[10:00]Saturday Night Live. Like I feel like we people are, I'm not going to speculate on your age,

[10:05]but I'm going to say people my age because I just turned 40. We got the a really great crop of

[10:11]SNL actors that ended up going and doing so many things in their careers that are noteworthy

[10:19]and spectacular. And I got to watch that growing up. And I always said, I want to make people

[10:24]laugh like that. I want to do something that makes people laugh. And I also loved writing.

[10:30]And I will, I am shameless. And I will tell you that I got a five on my state writing assessment

[10:35]when I was in high school. And I was like, I'm going to be published someday. And you know,

[10:41]I used to write for the local newspaper. And I always said, I'm going to, I'm going to write a book,

[10:46]you know, I didn't know what the hell I was going to write about. But I was done a write a book.

[10:49]And so I've been able to check some of these things off my list. No, I've not been on SNL,

[10:54]but I'd like to think that the videos I make in the content that I create, you know,

[10:59]it's seen, I have videos that have been viewed hundreds of millions of times. So I can say,

[11:06]yeah, I didn't get, I didn't make it to SNL, but I don't care. Like, I've been able to make videos

[11:11]that make people laugh. And that makes me happy. That's amazing.

[11:16]It's a comedian. I want a few more examples, anything else because I'm trying to think now that

[11:20]you're saying this, like, what would I put on my list? If I had two months, for instance,

[11:25]you know, that's a tough question. Are there things now that you still haven't done, or that

[11:30]maybe have come up since that you're like, okay, now these are next on my bucket list?

[11:34]Oh, I am always so, so it's really, it's what is shameful is my workspace. And I can tell you

[11:40]that I'm looking down at my desk right now. And I have eight notepads with eight different lists,

[11:45]because every day I decide I'm going to do something else. And there's going to be another project.

[11:49]So I already have the idea for book three, whether or not somebody is going to buy that. I don't

[11:55]know, but I already have it. It's ready to go. I'm itching to write it. But I also love to make t-shirts.

[12:01]I'm a t-shirt designer. And I love to put my sayings and do all of that. And like, I want my t-shirts

[12:06]sold in major retailers. And so I am pushing and working hard to do that. We also have a podcast,

[12:12]my co-host and I. And so we'd love to get this podcast out to as many people as we possibly

[12:19]can. It's called take it or leave it and advice, ish podcast for parents. And so I have all

[12:23]of these things that we're doing. And it's my goal to, you know, always at the center of every one of

[12:30]my up by, by biz quote businesses is to make sure moms are being heard and seen and feeling less

[12:37]alone, because the struggle is real. And we do face it each and every day. And I think the pandemic

[12:45]magnified that because we're there in no time in history that I can think of, have parents and

[12:54]children been locked together for such an extended period of time where they weren't either going

[13:01]and being social with other kids or going to school or at the parents, you know, leaving the kids with

[13:07]a sitter or at a daycare or whatever. Like that's, I don't think that's ever happened. And so being

[13:13]able to be a voice to say to women, you know, out there, like, hey, totally cool that you lost it today

[13:20]and you're probably going to lose it tomorrow and you lost it eight times last week. Like this is not

[13:25]like none of this is normal, but we're here together. And let's talk about it. You know, the disaster

[13:31]that is virtual learning, the disaster that is keeping our kids separated from their friends,

[13:37]celebrating COVID birthdays, which suck all of those things. You know, I just, I think it's great

[13:43]that I get to fill a role in helping people feel better through this process.

[13:48]I was trying to think of other times in history. The only time I can think and this is not to make

[13:52]this time, I don't know. I feel like this was direct around to them, but I feel like in the Holocaust,

[13:56]a lot, there are parents who are still working together. And I actually, during the pandemic,

[14:01]thought about that a lot when I was having the like, feel sorry for myself, the beginning course.

[14:05]And how did people do that with the fear of death if their kids even spoke? I mean, it's not like

[14:12]people were so different. They were just like us, just, you know, maybe far less electronics,

[14:16]but it's not like people were built differently or had more patience or, you know, they were just

[14:22]like moms like us, but trapped and hiding. And I'm like, how on earth did people get through that?

[14:29]And then it made sort of this pandemic like, oh, for God's sake. So I have to mop my nice house.

[14:33]I mean, like it's okay. Well, and that's the thing is we were given a pandemic in a time where we had

[14:39]Netflix and grocery delivery. So I did talk about that a ton where it was like, yes,

[14:45]we're pushed together, but you know, like there is an upside to this. We're being told to sit

[14:49]on our couches and watch TV. Yeah, our kids are driving us nuts. But by gosh, what I take this

[14:55]over other things that happen in history, of course, every single time. But then it became

[15:01]so political and it became so much about everything other than what it simply was, which is

[15:08]we have to try and contain a virus that is spreading like wildfire across the globe. It became

[15:13]even places like social media where we could go to escape. It became a spot where you couldn't even

[15:18]go to do that because everybody was talking about those things. And I don't talk politics at all,

[15:24]zero. But what I can tell you is a person who believes in wearing a mask when they go out in

[15:31]public in order to keep somebody else safe and keep myself safe and paying attention to logically

[15:37]what we're doing to minimize risk. Like these things are important, but you can't even talk

[15:42]about it without igniting a massive fire on social media. And that's to me, that's crazy.

[15:47]I agree with you more. I posted about masks and everything myself a couple days ago because

[15:53]I had been sort of hiding out on the island this entire time and recently came back to New York

[15:57]City to put my kids back in school. Right. This is where we live. And I came back and I was afraid

[16:02]to come back. And then like people wearing masks, but not all people, I'd say maybe like

[16:07]three quarters. It depends on the day, the time of day where you are. But I would let go.

[16:12]I was horrified. And so I came back and I posted an Instagram Facebook,

[16:17]expressing everybody to be like, no way, that's awful. Right. And that's what a lot of people who

[16:22]didn't live in New York said, but a lot of people who did live in New York were like, oh no,

[16:25]we've been here the whole time. And I don't think you saw that right. Or you know, that's not what

[16:29]it's like in my neighborhood. Or, you know, what are you talking about? And I got like such pushback

[16:34]and I, it's not like I was alone. Like I was with my husband or I was with my daughter. And I was

[16:37]like, am I like losing my mind? So like then the next time I caught in the car, I was like, okay,

[16:42]I just kind of 12 people and two blocks you weren't wearing masks. Did everybody see that?

[16:48]Come on. Like I am seeing this. What, why is this political at all? Like if somebody were like

[16:54]walking off a street corner, I would say watch out if a car was coming fast. That's exactly what I

[16:59]feel like I'm trying to do now. And I'm trying to like scream it for the rooftops. And yet people

[17:03]are like, I don't know. It's all good. Yeah. And it's been very weird to watch that. I think

[17:08]as a mother too, because we want to be like, this is going to help you. This is going to protect you.

[17:13]I need you to do this. I need you to listen because these are, this is what we're doing. And believe

[17:17]me, you know, I posted one thing once and it was such a 50 50 divide. And I was like, whoa, okay.

[17:24]So, you know, this is political apparently. I don't believe it to be political, but we're not going to

[17:30]fish in those waters. Because I do believe that I fall underneath the entertainment umbrella.

[17:36]And so when people come to our cage, they want to be entertained. And that's what it is. That's part

[17:41]of my purpose. And so I say, okay, not a problem. We can do that. I can do my best to entertain you.

[17:48]But it was also hard to be in that headspace when you were freaked out about every decision that

[17:52]you were making as a parent and a human being. We all had decisions fatigue, you know, about everything.

[17:59]Can we go to the grocery store today? Or should we not? Like, I don't know. I heard, I heard on Facebook

[18:04]that three people at the publics had COVID. Should we even go out? You know, I don't have any

[18:08]lifestyle wipes left. I don't, you know, I don't have spring bleach. Like, what should we do?

[18:12]What should we do? And then other people who are just like, it's not real. It's not really

[18:16]has not what's happening. And it's like, you just would shake from the, the panic, the questions,

[18:20]you know, I feel like it hasn't totally ended. I mean, no, I mean, today and there were kids

[18:27]playing on the playground. And I'm like, I just don't feel comfortable with that. And I just,

[18:31]I don't know. It's like one of those times where, you know, back to your whole point about

[18:35]parenting and, you know, how we each learn how to do it. I feel like this is also magnified

[18:41]the fact that you just have to like sort of go by your own compass, right? Like, everyone's going to

[18:47]have different ways they raise their kids. Everyone's going to have different ways they approach

[18:50]the pandemic. There's no right or wrong. It's just like, if you feel deep in your gut, like,

[18:55]if I really don't feel comfortable with any of my kids with a playground, like, no big,

[18:58]like, I'm just have to listen to that. Even if my friends say, don't be silly, I don't know.

[19:02]And that's the thing is I don't think there are a lot of situations right now where you can be silly,

[19:07]right? Because to you, these decisions and to 99.9% of the people, these matters, you know what I mean?

[19:14]Like, I got scolded. We walked past a playground. I didn't even let my kids on it, but I was doing

[19:19]an Instagram story because I took them to the tennis court. So they could just hit the ball back

[19:23]and forth. Nobody was there. It was a court with a net. I walked past a playground. How dare you

[19:29]take those children with us? Like, I didn't even take them to a playground, right? And so it's just

[19:33]the way people feel. And then they because that they're feeling this way, they want to then

[19:38]tell you how they feel. And then it just snowballs, right? And so we've been doing distance learning

[19:44]for several weeks. And we're in Florida, which has been a hotbed for this after New York,

[19:49]you know, you guys had it first. And then we sort of had this massive spike. But our schools

[19:54]didn't shut down. So, you know, my kids have been begging me from from before school

[20:00]started, let us go back to school, let us go back to school.

[20:02]And we are in a very small county in Florida

[20:05]that isn't knock on wood, having a spike.

[20:09]So I started to get really torn.

[20:11]I was like, should I just send them back

[20:13]because virtual schooling isn't working at all.

[20:16]They're not doing what they need to do.

[20:17]I am on them screening, constantly getting them

[20:21]to your Pearson math.

[20:22]I can't find it.

[20:23]Why don't know where the hell it is?

[20:25]I'm in there trying to find the folders

[20:26]that the teacher set up digitally

[20:28]and I can't understand the apps

[20:30]inside of the program, inside of the whatever.

[20:32]I'm looking at this agenda.

[20:33]I don't know where any of these things are.

[20:35]And I finally called her and I said,

[20:37]I need to schedule a Zoom with you

[20:38]because I don't know how to find the stuff

[20:40]you're telling my kid to do.

[20:41]And that's not an excuse

[20:42]because he should probably know where this is

[20:45]because you do Zoom with him.

[20:47]But I can't even find it to tell him to do it.

[20:50]I don't know how to do it.

[20:51]I technically own a tech company.

[20:53]So that's scary.

[20:55]I mean, yeah, it should be intuitive enough

[20:57]that a bright 40-year-old woman can figure it out.

[21:00]And I sat there and I was like,

[21:01]I don't see Pearson math, you know?

[21:04]And it's like, I assume there'd be an icon

[21:05]that said Pearson because it's a textbook.

[21:08]And I know what a textbook, you know,

[21:10]like I know Pearson textbooks.

[21:11]So I couldn't find it.

[21:13]And it was buried inside of each daily folder,

[21:16]not an app on the thing.

[21:18]And so I'm looking for it.

[21:18]And so then I said to him,

[21:20]I need you to do the last 12 of these.

[21:23]He goes in and he did them.

[21:24]And he's like, can I go outside and play now?

[21:26]And it's like, I guess I don't even know

[21:28]if I should be mad about this.

[21:30]So we have been on the fence about sending them back.

[21:34]And of course, masks, hand sanitizer,

[21:37]talking to them about the way they need to act

[21:39]when they're at school.

[21:41]I even asked, can I go to the school

[21:42]and kind of like watch the kids like change classes?

[21:45]No, okay, you don't want me on campus, I get it.

[21:49]So I've even thought about like sneaking around

[21:52]the school during the day to just peak

[21:54]and I assumed I'll probably get arrested for that.

[21:56]But I think I'm leaning towards sending them back

[21:59]because the environment we have here

[22:00]is not conducive to learning.

[22:04]They're not learning anything.

[22:05]And then you feel guilty about that.

[22:07]So I don't really convince you in any way.

[22:10]It's been like two days of school for my kids.

[22:13]And I was so scared to send them back.

[22:15]And I was like, really just for socialization

[22:17]isn't like survival so much more important than that.

[22:20]And where is the line?

[22:21]How do you balance?

[22:22]But my kids' schools did let me go in and see,

[22:25]well, one of the schools did.

[22:26]I have kindergartener, first grader, and two, seven graders.

[22:29]So little guy's school, I got to see.

[22:31]And they're doing a really good job.

[22:34]One of the schools, I was more worried about the parents

[22:36]on the street and pick up because they had thought everything

[22:39]through for the kids and not necessarily the parents.

[22:41]So I sent an email to like the top five administrators

[22:45]being like, here are 12 free and easy things you could do

[22:48]to make this pick up and drop off better and safer.

[22:51]And that night they sent an email out to the whole school

[22:54]saying, here's how we've changed it.

[22:56]And I was like, OK, I mean, I mean, difference.

[22:58]Good, all the touch points have to kind of line up.

[23:04]Exactly.

[23:05]And those are the things that you're thinking about

[23:06]in a normal world where we're not

[23:08]freaked out to be six feet close within six feet of someone.

[23:13]But it's so weird now, even to go out,

[23:15]even if you're in like I've noticed,

[23:17]I'm playing a game of freeze tag in the grocery store

[23:21]because if somebody comes the wrong way down my aisle

[23:24]and I'm going to reach for something,

[23:25]and I just immediately stop and I stand frozen

[23:29]until I can see which way they're going to go.

[23:31]And sometimes people just get right up next to you.

[23:33]And so then you're just like panicked

[23:35]and you're trying to walk backwards while you're frozen.

[23:38]And it looks ridiculous.

[23:40]But it's like, I don't like God forbid I'm asymptomatic

[23:45]and you're 80.

[23:46]And I'm breathing.

[23:47]I have my mask, but I don't want to give you something.

[23:51]Like I would feel terrible if I found out

[23:53]in some way, shape, or form that I perpetuated this.

[23:56]I'm doing my best, but it's weird

[23:58]because we don't even know how to act in public anymore.

[24:02]So it is.

[24:03]But I think we've scared the children enough

[24:05]in the sense of the mask stays on no matter what.

[24:08]You're not the uncool kid.

[24:10]If you keep your mask on at the bus stop,

[24:12]it is totally the cool kid thing to do.

[24:15]Keep the hand sanitizer in your pocket.

[24:18]I'm going to refill those, make sure

[24:20]that they're full to the brim every day when you go in.

[24:22]Make sure that you're washing your hands frequently.

[24:25]And I know that I know they're doing that at the schools.

[24:28]I know they're making the kids wash their hands

[24:31]in between classes or at lunch or something,

[24:33]at least at the elementary level, because I

[24:35]did get an email about that.

[24:37]Now, the middle and the high school,

[24:38]you've got to hope you've given them that knowledge, right?

[24:40]Because I have a sixth grader who's middle schooler.

[24:43]And then I have a high schooler.

[24:44]So I just have to cross my fingers and believe

[24:47]that my kids are going to do what we've been doing

[24:49]from day one, which is making the best choice we can

[24:54]for keeping ourselves and other safe.

[24:56]My mother-in-law and grandmother-in-law passed away

[24:59]from COVID over the last couple of weeks.

[25:00]Oh, my gosh, I'm so excited.

[25:02]Full medical odyssey with my mother-in-law that lasted six weeks,

[25:06]three in the ICU, three in regular hospital.

[25:09]And it was awful and gut-wrenching.

[25:11]And my kids were sort of aware of it the whole time.

[25:14]So I think we're particularly sensitive to-

[25:16]I would say so.

[25:18]Norms and, you know, it's so crazy.

[25:19]I run into people who don't know.

[25:21]And, you know, yes, I post about it,

[25:22]but not everybody's on Instagram

[25:24]and everybody reads everything and blah, blah, blah.

[25:26]So I like run into people and they're like,

[25:27]well, you know, Sandra, I'm like the whole COVID thing.

[25:29]Like, how was your summer?

[25:30]And I was, I'm like, well, not good.

[25:32]Because, you know, because of the whole COVID thing.

[25:35]Like, the whole COVID thing affects people

[25:36]and it might affect you.

[25:37]And if you would just take three steps back,

[25:39]maybe it wouldn't, anyway.

[25:42]Well, and I think to your point,

[25:44]because I have seen posts where people said,

[25:46]I don't even know somebody who's had it.

[25:48]And it's like, well, you follow me.

[25:50]And I have friends who have had it.

[25:53]So you do know somebody,

[25:54]whether it's just on social media or not.

[25:56]I have several people in the blogging space

[25:59]who have come down with it

[26:01]and have been public about having it.

[26:03]If you wanna just talk about the celebrities

[26:05]that have come out like you do know,

[26:06]so saying I don't know anybody

[26:08]or it's not affected me is not really a true statement.

[26:10]In that sense, because we do know people.

[26:13]Three doors down.

[26:14]Our neighbor, before we had moved in here,

[26:17]because we moved during the pandemic,

[26:18]the whole neighborhood was on lockdown

[26:20]because the neighbor down the street had it.

[26:22]His wife never got it.

[26:23]His kids never got it,

[26:24]but he worked in Amazon and he got it.

[26:26]So yeah, you know people.

[26:28]And even if you think you don't, you do.

[26:31]Yeah.

[26:32]Well, now you know me too.

[26:33]And I know you.

[26:34]Right. And now you're listening to this

[26:35]and you know, you know, and that's tragic.

[26:38]This is absolutely tragic.

[26:41]Any way you wanna slice that,

[26:43]this is a tragic event that your family endured.

[26:47]And it's, it can't be taken lightly.

[26:49]So we have to mitigate risk where we can.

[26:53]Well, I'm glad to find sort of a kindred fear it

[26:56]on the whole thing.

[26:57]I feel like people are so different in different ways,

[26:59]but I feel like it's nice to speak to somebody

[27:01]who's still aligned.

[27:02]So that's great.

[27:03]Yeah, I feel it fairly talked about your book.

[27:06]But anyway, I asked that one more time.

[27:08]It never made us a motherhood.

[27:10]But I feel like you've gotten such a sense of you.

[27:12]There's so much in here, like mommy, martyrdom

[27:14]and sex and parenting and, you know,

[27:17]so many funny things and pointed things

[27:19]racing and autistic child.

[27:20]Like there is a lot in this book.

[27:22]So anyway, we obviously don't have time

[27:24]to talk about it all,

[27:25]but it was really amazing

[27:26]if you just share yourself like that with readers

[27:28]and the way you do all the time in your entertainment.

[27:32]So to speak, so it was really awesome.

[27:34]And so I just wanna ask at least,

[27:36]did you have any advice for aspiring authors

[27:38]having written this and now onto your third and all the rest?

[27:41]I would definitely say the hardest part,

[27:44]I think, which most people say is actually just starting

[27:48]the book.

[27:48]Like I think I said for a while,

[27:50]yeah, I'm gonna write another one.

[27:52]I'm gonna write another one.

[27:53]And it wasn't until I just committed to saying,

[27:55]I'm gonna put, you know, pen to paper, so to speak.

[27:58]Like you have to get started.

[28:00]And once you get started,

[28:01]whether you self-publish,

[28:02]because I did self-publish my first

[28:04]or go with a publishing house,

[28:06]you really need to take whatever you're, like I said,

[28:09]the idea of this book was to say to moms,

[28:12]like you're not alone.

[28:13]And here are some examples of how we probably share

[28:16]a lot of the same things,

[28:18]how we've gone through a lot of the same things.

[28:21]And then you just gotta figure out how you chunk,

[28:23]how to chunk that out.

[28:24]I looked at this book and I think like how I'm gonna look

[28:27]at future books as like chapter books for moms.

[28:31]Because moms don't have a lot of time,

[28:33]especially to read books.

[28:34]So the audible version of this book actually performed very well,

[28:38]which I was excited to see.

[28:39]But anybody who picks up this book,

[28:41]you can open it to any section and read a story.

[28:44]And this doesn't have to be like a start to finish.

[28:47]This is pick it up, almost like those,

[28:50]do you remember the books?

[28:50]I just bought my Sundays for his birthday,

[28:53]where it was choose your own adventure.

[28:54]And you could be like,

[28:55]oh, I gotta go to page 87 now.

[28:57]I'm gonna, we're gonna meet a dragon.

[28:59]So like when I was writing this book, I thought about that.

[29:01]And I was like, I want a mom to be able to pick this up

[29:03]and say, I just, I've got 10 minutes.

[29:06]You can go to any chapter in any section

[29:09]and read and have a story.

[29:11]And you don't have to keep reading,

[29:12]if you can't at that moment.

[29:13]And then I have people who have reviewed it

[29:16]and messaged me and said, I read it in four hours.

[29:19]My husband let me have the whole night off.

[29:21]I loved how she said that.

[29:23]I giggled because I could feel that one in my bones.

[29:26]And she read the book, cover to cover.

[29:28]And she's like, I laughed, I cried, I laughed, I cried,

[29:30]I laughed more, I cried more, I pissed my pants, I laughed.

[29:33]And I was like, okay, great, I did my job.

[29:36]I did, that was my job.

[29:37]And I did it.

[29:38]And I felt a lot of relief and excitement

[29:42]and kind of a euphoria from that, from reading these reviews.

[29:45]I got some shitty reviews, not gonna lie.

[29:48]I don't know if I could say that, sorry, poopy reviews.

[29:50]One woman told me that I am not funny

[29:52]and I should rethink my entire career.

[29:55]So there's that, but overall, it was.

[30:00]such a wonderful experience to read through those.

[30:02]And so I would tell any author who's getting ready,

[30:05]make sure that whatever the core of why you want to write this,

[30:09]get to that, and stick with it.

[30:13]Don't let anybody divert you from that path

[30:15]because at first it was like, well,

[30:17]you know, you definitely need to have around 400 pages.

[30:20]I said, of what?

[30:21]400 pages, we didn't know what to use 400 pages of this.

[30:24]This is a chapter book for moms.

[30:26]What moms don't read chapter books.

[30:28]I said, oh, they will.

[30:29]They will absolutely every mom wants a chapter book

[30:31]because they don't have time for this or busy.

[30:33]So I stuck to my guns with that.

[30:35]And I think it did what it was supposed to do.

[30:38]And hopefully we'll continue.

[30:40]Because I really would like to see this

[30:42]as the book that people give at the baby shower

[30:45]at those types of events.

[30:48]Because I feel like that's,

[30:50]it's like the stuff that people don't necessarily

[30:52]want to talk about, but we all go through it as moms.

[30:56]So, Drew.

[30:57]Well, thank you.

[30:57]Meredith, thanks for sharing all this.

[30:59]Thanks for writing.

[31:00]Oh, thank you.

[31:01]Thanks for helping so many moms.

[31:02]I appreciate it.

[31:04]I was very excited to see you holding the book

[31:07]and talking about it a little bit

[31:09]and having, have the review for GMA and everything.

[31:12]So it was great because I didn't even know

[31:13]you had a copy of it.

[31:15]Oh, yeah.

[31:15]And so then when they emailed me,

[31:18]I was like, really?

[31:20]And I ran to, you know, and I found you in the feed

[31:22]and I went, oh, yes, this is so exciting.

[31:24]So it was great.

[31:25]And then when we worked that they told me

[31:27]we'd do the podcast, I thought,

[31:29]oh, this is fantastic.

[31:30]I was so excited.

[31:31]Oh, good.

[31:32]Awesome.

[31:33]You too.

[31:34]Well, thank you very much.

[31:35]It was wonderful speaking with you.

[31:37]And I appreciate that you read it and enjoyed it.

[31:41]And that makes me happy.

[31:42]Oh, good.

[31:43]So bad.

[31:45]All right, take care, Meredith.

[31:46]Bye.

[31:47]Bye.

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[32:11]Thanks for listening to this episode

[32:13]of Moms Don't Have Time to Read Books.

[32:15]Don't forget to follow me on Instagram at zippy Owens

[32:18]and at Moms Don't Have Time to Read Books.

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[32:21]at zippyowens.com and sign up for my virtual book club

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[32:27]Thanks so much to Steve and Ryan at Textures Sound

[32:29]for the Sound Editing.

[32:30]And thank you to Morning Moon Productions

[32:32]for providing this fantastic intro and out trim music.