Rachel Bloom, I WANT TO BE WHERE THE NORMAL PEOPLE ARE

2020-12-16 · 27:24 · Rachel Bloom · Podcast Audio

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[1:52]Rachel Bloom is best known as the co-creator and star of the CW musical dramedy Crazy X

[1:58]girlfriend.

[1:59]For her performance as Rebecca Bunch, Rachel won Golden Globe, a critics choice award and a CA award.

[2:05]She has also been featured in the New York Times Magazine, L. Alore Entertainment Weekly,

[2:10]Time Psychology Today and Backstage.

[2:12]In addition to other acting award nominations, Rachel is a four-time Emmy nominee for her

[2:17]songwriting of Crazy X girlfriend.

[2:19]And other notable writing.

[2:21]As a singer, Rachel was featured in Trolls World Tour as the hard rock troll barb with many

[2:26]other voice-over credits.

[2:27]Oh my gosh, my kids are obsessed with Trolls World Tour.

[2:30]Her book I want to be where the normal people are is a collection of laugh-out loud funny essays.

[2:35]They cover everything from her love of Disney to OCD and depression to female friendships.

[2:40]Welcome, Rachel.

[2:41]Thank you so much for coming on mom's don't have time to read books to talk about your

[2:45]book.

[2:46]I want to be where the normal people are, which I feel like I should sing in the little mermaid

[2:50]esque.

[2:52]I want to feel free to.

[2:55]I won't subject you to that.

[2:56]Thanks for coming on.

[2:57]My pleasure.

[2:58]Thank you for having me.

[2:59]So, Rachel, can you tell listeners what I want to be where the normal people are

[3:03]is about what inspired you to write this memoir about your basically life and why you did it

[3:09]and why now?

[3:10]Well, it's really a collection of stories and essays and kind of like comedic pieces about

[3:14]my relationship with normalcy and it's kind of like a personal stories or the jumping off point

[3:20]of each part and then I kind of extrapolate based on the emotions of those stories to do

[3:27]like comedic pieces, comedic essays, like for instance, there's a story of the night I want

[3:31]to Golden Globe but as described by my dog because even winning a Golden Globe, which is such a

[3:37]kind of societal marker of like you fit in, I want to have some perspective and remember that

[3:41]you know a dog doesn't care so it goes through kind of my relationship with normalcy through

[3:46]childhood up until now basically and I appreciated the picture of the dog with the Golden Globe

[3:51]that you included that was also a nice touch.

[3:54]Thank you.

[3:54]Yes, to really ground us in the normalcy question mark of that.

[3:59]Awesome.

[3:59]I have to say your middle school experience gave me like PTSD from my own middle school

[4:04]experience and like I'm sure everybody has had a moment in middle school where they feel like

[4:08]they don't fit in or they're not part of the group and you're the boyfriend that you had or

[4:13]not even really a boyfriend but the guy you followed around all the time was that terrible.

[4:17]I think his name was Ethan and how maybe just tell me the story again from the horse's mouth

[4:23]as it were and how experiences like that where you're just you're wanting so much just to

[4:29]have a normal relationship and it backfires tell me a little a bit more about that.

[4:33]Yeah well it was the first crush I ever had and I remember my feelings for Ethan being just as

[4:39]real and passionate as any feelings of love or infatuation I had as an adult but I was a

[4:46]dark and he didn't really fit in either so the more I tried to be around him the lower it made his

[4:51]social standing and so he started insulting me to try to just get me to go away and also like fit

[4:57]in with the other kids who also thought I wasn't cool but that made me love him more.

[5:01]I can't tell if it made me love him more or if I loved him regardless and I loved him despite

[5:07]the insulting either way it it set a pattern for later relationships but he was quite mean because

[5:14]I was so clearly in love with him at an age when no one was having these intense feelings of

[5:20]infatuation. Where is Ethan now do we know have you left him up? Yeah I mean I actually did a

[5:25]conversation I had a conversation with Ethan for using his real name for this vulture

[5:31]fest I did a vulture has this you know festival of arts and entertainment and we did a

[5:35]conversation and he actually became one of my really good friends in high school there just

[5:39]wasn't time to write about that in the book. To fast forward from your middle school antics to

[5:47]let's just say like you're on like a section like an apologetic ode to my former roommates

[5:53]and all of the unresolved issues which by the way I love it's like a poem to yourself. Thank you

[5:58]so funny and I really love how you use like lists and different formats and scripts it's like every

[6:07]you're using the book in a whole new way right it is a book but it's like an art project at the

[6:12]same time right. Well I try to vary it up I don't really love reading it has to be a really really

[6:19]famous person or someone I really admire to read just like a straightforward memoir. I like

[6:24]reading personal stories or especially books that are very personal where the format is very

[6:28]neat so I kind of wrote the book that I would want to read and also I wrote it in a way that

[6:34]I would still enjoy writing it because I didn't want to sit down and just write a bunch of

[6:39]personal essays so it was a way in a way the the fact that there's one of the chapters is a

[6:44]full musical that you'll actually be able to listen along to on my website when the book comes out

[6:48]if you want to listen along and read that was my way of keeping myself entertained and then the

[6:54]ode to my roommates which is this apology I wanted to elevate my apology I wanted to make it feel

[7:00]almost mythic because I really was a terrible roommate and I feel like most people come from the

[7:05]vantage point of oh I had this terrible roommate but no that was me and I feel terrible about it.

[7:12]You are one of the most I want to say self-critical but you know just constantly like it's

[7:18]it's beyond that's like self-flagellating you're like always so hard on yourself I feel like in a funny

[7:23]way but you know there's always like a little truth to every joke you know well I want to I you know

[7:29]it's a glass houses thing because I definitely bitch about other people in the book and I don't

[7:36]want to get off scot free and I think I perhaps in a times in the book overcompensate by being

[7:42]pretty self-lagellating by just to make sure I know that I'm making fun of other people but

[7:47]I'm not perfect you know I think I always want to play that other side to cover my basis and

[7:54]is the book sort of reflective of how you think like are you is this the way you think you're

[7:59]always like onto this and then another thing and this is the creative interpretation of that

[8:04]and this is like it's not as linear like what you were saying like I don't want to just sit

[8:08]down and write a bunch of essays is that that is how I think yeah yes that's pretty there's a

[8:13]there is a probably there was a smidgen of ADHD in there as my psychiatrist has told me

[8:19]although he's like don't get excited he's like I know you'll get off on a diagnosis tangent

[8:24]but yes and that is just how my mind works and I think it also comes from writing sketch comedy

[8:29]for so long and trying to coming from that sketch brain of oh okay what's a sketch I could do

[8:36]based on this feeling that I'm having speaking of your therapist would you mind if we talked a

[8:40]little about the OCD and the blurtily and because I feel like OCD has been branded sort of all

[8:47]wrong people think it has to do only with washing your hands and turning things on and off and

[8:51]and actually the intrusive thoughts are a huge element of OCD and it would be very easy to misdiagnose

[8:57]someone who's having that symptom as something completely different or not to worry about or you know

[9:02]even annoying or and so I want parents out there who might be listening also to know that

[9:08]sometimes the intrusive thoughts that your child is having could be that so tell me a little

[9:12]more about your experience with it yeah I'm so I'm so glad especially now as a parent I'm thinking

[9:18]about it a lot so what happened was basically in fourth grade I started getting these intrusive

[9:24]guilty thoughts I started fixating on things that I thought they I did that were bad that I

[9:29]should feel guilty about and it was this like gnawing darkness that I never felt before and this is

[9:35]around age nine and a half ten and I thought that the only way I could relieve myself of these

[9:40]of this guilt was to tell my parents everything and it was this series of obsessions obsessive

[9:45]thoughts and compulsions to tell my parents everything and at the time my parents they just thought

[9:49]it was some sort of quirk of adolescence because OCD was yeah you wash your hands or you check

[9:55]the like the the burners to make sure the stove isn't on it was this very specific

[10:00]thing that we thought OCD was.

[10:02]And it's only now as an adult.

[10:04]And now kind of consciously that we are starting to realize,

[10:08]I might as a consciously, I think, non-ferapists

[10:11]are starting to understand, oh no, no,

[10:14]obsessive thoughts and compulsions come in many, many forms.

[10:18]And no one around me understood or could see

[10:22]that I was suffering because it just seemed like I was quirky.

[10:26]And so I'll hear stories like this in other kids,

[10:29]oh my kids having trouble sleeping

[10:31]or they keep bringing this up.

[10:33]And it's not just a quirk of childhood

[10:37]or a adolescence, they're suffering.

[10:39]And that's something I think writing this book

[10:41]when I was pregnant right before I was becoming a parent

[10:44]was a nice reminder that my child's feelings are valid.

[10:49]And they're not, I can't just brush them away with,

[10:51]oh, they're just a cat or even,

[10:53]oh, they're just a baby, no, these feelings are real.

[10:56]And just because the person feeling them

[10:59]is little doesn't make them less valid.

[11:01]Might not necessitate the decibel level of screaming

[11:05]that accompanies it as a child, I might say.

[11:07]Oh, that's true.

[11:08]Okay, but yes, and that's,

[11:11]it applies more to, I think, the future of when my child

[11:14]is my child's seven and a half months old.

[11:16]So that I mean the last, of course,

[11:18]blood curling screams, you know.

[11:20]Look, at a certain point,

[11:21]I have to put a sweatshirt on her.

[11:23]I have to put sleeves on.

[11:25]The blood curdling screams are yes, going to happen.

[11:28]I can't not ever put clothes on her.

[11:30]So yes, true.

[11:31]Yes, but I think anybody who has had,

[11:33]you know, any sort of mental health, anything

[11:35]and struggled for a diagnosis and then felt

[11:39]a sense of relief once it had been like,

[11:41]oh, wait, this constellation of behaviors

[11:44]or thoughts or feelings actually falls into this rubric

[11:47]and there's a treatment for it.

[11:48]Like that's a very great feeling.

[11:50]So anyway, not to keep hopping on this.

[11:53]I'm on the board of the Child Mind Institute.

[11:55]I don't know if you've heard of that.

[11:56]I have.

[11:56]Which is great if you have any interesting getting involved

[11:58]or whatever, but it's all about reversing

[12:00]the stigma on child and mental illness

[12:02]and raising awareness for things like this,

[12:04]like OCD and select of mutism

[12:07]and like just all these things

[12:08]that maybe people don't know as much about

[12:10]and also finding treatments and biomarkers and all the rest.

[12:13]But anyway, not to bring that into it,

[12:14]but I just wanted you to know.

[12:16]I'm like so on the same page in terms of wanting

[12:19]to raise awareness and helping families get through something

[12:22]that can be challenging both for the child

[12:23]and the parents.

[12:24]Oh, that's so cool that you're on the board of that.

[12:26]I would actually love to learn more information about that.

[12:29]And I wish that had been around

[12:32]or I'd been aware of that when I was a kid.

[12:34]It wasn't around, so don't worry.

[12:36]You're that.

[12:37]How have you felt?

[12:39]Like I know that having a child often brings up old stuff

[12:44]and your brain and your mind and issues and all of that.

[12:48]How have you adjusted to sort of being a parent

[12:50]and has it raised any unexpected reactions in you

[12:53]in that way?

[12:54]Well, first of all, there's something freeing

[12:55]about putting her needs and her happiness above my own.

[13:01]It's actually quite freeing.

[13:03]It actually really helps with things

[13:04]like cognitive behavioral therapy

[13:05]when you're trying to just focus on the present

[13:08]and not engaging in anxious thoughts as much.

[13:11]It really helps with that.

[13:12]Around the time I'd finished the first draft

[13:13]of the book I gave birth and around the time

[13:16]I was getting induced and giving birth

[13:18]among everything else that was happening.

[13:19]I was having some intrusive thoughts again.

[13:21]And there were kind of on specific.

[13:23]It was just this almost the thought

[13:25]and the gut feeling at this point or one in the same.

[13:27]It was just this feeling of my anxiety was amped up.

[13:30]And so it latches onto these little thoughts.

[13:33]And it was weird to be writing about that

[13:36]while going through that again during a big life event

[13:39]but coming out coming out the other side of this one.

[13:43]And because I had to be present for a baby

[13:46]but because I was also writing about it,

[13:47]it helped me realize, oh, yep,

[13:48]this is just a part of how my mind works sometimes.

[13:51]And I just, I have to be there for her

[13:54]and that's what matters.

[13:55]And I'll just ride this wave

[13:57]but being a mom is more important.

[14:00]Wow, that's amazing.

[14:01]So in terms of writing this book,

[14:03]how long did it take to do?

[14:05]Like when did you do it?

[14:06]How did you fit it in with all of your other stuff?

[14:09]I know you're else.

[14:09]And like what other big projects

[14:12]do you have sort of in the hopper?

[14:13]This is like 15 questions in one question.

[14:15]I'm like, no, no, it's fine.

[14:16]So I had had a book deal since 20.

[14:20]I mean, it was like 2017.

[14:22]I got it when I was filming Crazy X girlfriend.

[14:24]I started brainstorming and slowly writing the book

[14:28]for the next year or so.

[14:29]But I didn't really get started earnestly

[14:32]until August, September of last year

[14:34]right when I was pregnant

[14:35]because that's when I had time

[14:37]because Crazy X girlfriend was done.

[14:39]We performed at Radio City Music Hall.

[14:41]I toured in London.

[14:42]And finally I was back and ready to write the book

[14:44]and then I got pregnant.

[14:45]So definitely the first part of writing the book

[14:47]was also a good distraction from nausea.

[14:51]But I wrote it from about September of 2019

[14:54]until March 2020

[14:56]with then some significant changes done April, May.

[15:00]And would you do it again?

[15:02]Like did you enjoy any of it?

[15:03]Yeah, I did.

[15:04]It was hard.

[15:05]It's hard and it's scary because it's just you.

[15:08]I can't hide behind a character.

[15:11]At least I chose not to.

[15:12]You know, it's non-fiction.

[15:14]My only co-writer was my editor

[15:16]and editors are really the unofficial co-writers

[15:19]of every book, but still it's putting so much

[15:21]of yourself out there.

[15:22]And I choose to be so vulnerable.

[15:24]It's putting myself out there in a way.

[15:26]No one asked me to do or expected me to do.

[15:29]And then plus it's a lot of words.

[15:32]So there were pieces that were cut.

[15:34]But like when you cut a, you know,

[15:36]when a song was cut from Crazy X girlfriend,

[15:38]I mean, that was still a lot of work.

[15:41]But that was, I don't know, maybe the words, 100 words.

[15:45]I don't know.

[15:46]I can't think of how many words are in a song,

[15:47]but you're talking about cutting 500 to a thousand words.

[15:49]There's a lot of stuff that I worked on

[15:51]that's not in the book.

[15:53]It's hard.

[15:53]It's writing a book is really hard.

[15:56]And then as far as other things,

[15:57]working on movies and TV,

[15:59]no more books coming in the near future.

[16:02]Honestly, doing press for a book,

[16:04]especially when I'm not doing a book tour,

[16:06]takes a lot of time.

[16:08]So that's what's in the hopper is doing press for the book.

[16:11]But I'm working on a musical using songs from the late 90s

[16:15]or early 2000s to explore nostalgia of that time.

[16:19]I'm pitching a sketch show and still, you know,

[16:23]figuring out this new normal.

[16:25]That is both COVID and having a new baby.

[16:27]It's actually probably, well,

[16:29]not that there's ever anything good about the COVID era.

[16:33]But I feel like any time I had my four kids and like,

[16:37]whoa, yeah.

[16:38]And I'm still standing, sort of.

[16:40]I'm sitting now.

[16:41]But you know what I mean?

[16:42]You look great.

[16:42]And your house looks immaculate.

[16:44]Thank you.

[16:45]Yes.

[16:46]I try not to let them in here.

[16:47]No, I'm kidding.

[16:48]You're only seeing this little sliver.

[16:50]And like normally they're like walking on top

[16:52]of the couch around there.

[16:52]But yeah, the shelves get touched that much.

[16:55]But why was I saying that something about after every kid?

[16:58]Oh, the solar line.

[16:59]Yes, I completely agree.

[17:00]I was completely isolated from the world.

[17:02]And my schedule was like so different.

[17:04]And everyone else was zooms and zooming around

[17:06]and like, not, I shouldn't have used that word.

[17:08]Everybody else was running around, super busy.

[17:11]And I was at home.

[17:12]And you know, you're being at home, obviously.

[17:15]Everybody's at home.

[17:16]So I guess there's some synergies

[17:18]and everybody else's lifestyle.

[17:19]But yeah, I give birth and late March,

[17:23]which is when quarantine started.

[17:24]So as we went into having a newborn,

[17:28]it felt like the rest of the world also had a newborn.

[17:30]Yes.

[17:31]Because people were talking about how time made no sense anymore.

[17:34]Everything was upside down.

[17:36]And that's what having a newborn is.

[17:38]So as far as timing, yes, very stressful

[17:41]to have a child during a pandemic,

[17:43]what the aftermath as far as just the schedule

[17:45]of having a newborn worked out very well.

[17:47]And I'm sure everybody asks you about this.

[17:50]And so I hate to ask.

[17:52]But just because I don't know a ton of people

[17:55]who have won Golden Globes, I'm just curious.

[17:58]They know you wrote about it and thanks to your dog

[18:00]and everything like that.

[18:01]But I'm really curious.

[18:03]Like what happened the next day?

[18:05]Like what happens the day after you went a Golden Globes

[18:08]do you get a thousand emails?

[18:09]Like does, do you feel like life is exploding?

[18:12]Was there any point when you were like,

[18:14]oh, I kind of miss not having all this attention?

[18:17]I mean, I know you already had attention

[18:18]because of your career,

[18:20]but do you ever just wish like you didn't or not?

[18:25]The day after is so cool.

[18:28]And I've gone through that day after a couple times now

[18:31]with the Golden Globe and then the day

[18:33]after my Emmy win last September.

[18:35]I got a big brunch because I've been up late the night

[18:38]before you're hung over.

[18:40]So there's always a big brunch, a ton of emails.

[18:44]The good thing is I don't feel,

[18:45]and I don't feel like I have to get back

[18:47]to every one of those emails the day of.

[18:49]The day after the Golden Globe specifically,

[18:52]I wasn't filming,

[18:53]but there was work was still happening

[18:55]and me getting the Golden Globe

[18:56]essentially saved the show.

[18:58]I mean, I needed to at least get nominated

[19:02]and then if not went to save crazy ex-girlfriend.

[19:05]So I went to work and I let everyone

[19:07]like hold the Golden Globe and take pictures

[19:09]with the Golden Globe and kind of celebrated

[19:11]with everyone at work because it was kind of in a way

[19:15]like job security for 250 people as well as myself.

[19:19]A lot of gifts, a lot of flowers.

[19:21]It's great.

[19:22]It's overwhelming and I was really psyched.

[19:26]I kind of had two major awards

[19:29]book ending the crazy ex-girlfriend experience

[19:31]because the Golden Globe happened in the middle of season one.

[19:35]It was in the middle of filming.

[19:37]So I filmed not the day of two days before.

[19:41]I had to go back to filming a day like two days after

[19:46]and then I had to fly to New York.

[19:47]So there's all this stuff happening

[19:48]and it was also soon because the show

[19:51]and I talk about this in the book,

[19:52]the show I thought it was a dead pilot with Showtime

[19:54]and then it suddenly got ordered to series.

[19:56]So the whole thing was just whiplash.

[19:59]Yeah.

[20:00]a way that for which I no one could have been fully prepared

[20:03]and didn't fully sink in.

[20:05]It took like a year for all of it to sink in.

[20:07]And then the Emmy when last September,

[20:11]it was the opposite.

[20:12]I was done with the show.

[20:14]I mean, I was pregnant.

[20:15]So I was at home just being nauseous, sleeping a lot.

[20:18]And I really had the time to fully like soak it in.

[20:24]And that was as opposed to getting the Golden Globe

[20:26]for after the Hollywood Foreign Pressing Eight episodes

[20:28]of the show, the Golden Globe for Songwriting

[20:30]was after writing 157 songs.

[20:32]So they were actually two very different experiences.

[20:35]But yeah, the day after is awesome.

[20:37]Wow. And by the way, thank you for like the layman's

[20:40]interpretation of how to sell a show

[20:42]and like the timeline of that to show people

[20:46]like why your timeline was so different.

[20:48]You're like, well, here's how it was supposed to happen.

[20:50]And here's how it happened for me.

[20:52]It was like two days.

[20:52]So yeah, that was my pleasure.

[20:55]I'm still confused by the whole process.

[20:56]So it was good to lay it out for myself.

[20:59]Do you have any advice both for authors

[21:02]and also for anyone who wants to get into your field

[21:06]of songwriting, creating, acting, all of it?

[21:10]I mean, people are like dying to do that.

[21:12]The only real advice I have is involves other people.

[21:15]It's find like-minded people because you

[21:18]want to be around people who are doing what you're doing

[21:22]and try to find people who are better at it than you

[21:24]so that you can watch them do what they do.

[21:26]And then also get feedback on your work.

[21:29]I think that's where like a writing circle helps

[21:32]because you're around other people doing what you're doing.

[21:36]So you're not writing in a vacuum.

[21:37]You're getting feedback.

[21:38]And it gives you a deadline.

[21:40]So if you're in some sort of writer's group

[21:42]of writing circle and you say, oh, we're all

[21:43]going to read aloud what we wrote on this date.

[21:46]Or hey, I'm going to have a table read of this screenplay

[21:50]I wrote.

[21:51]It gives you a deadline because I cannot finish anything.

[21:54]If I don't have something holding me accountable.

[21:57]Even if it's a little thing, like I promised so and so,

[22:00]I'd get them the script by this day.

[22:02]Anything you can do where you are forced to write,

[22:06]that is my number one tip.

[22:08]OK.

[22:09]Well, I have to think of ways to bind people to their chairs.

[22:13]And I didn't know that I've had thought.

[22:15]Because otherwise, for me, it works for me

[22:17]because it's the fear of letting people down.

[22:20]The accountability.

[22:21]That's like one of those Gretchen Rubin,

[22:22]before tendencies have you heard of this book?

[22:25]No.

[22:26]There's like the obligeors.

[22:28]You're probably in a blider.

[22:29]Well, anyway, this is ridiculous.

[22:30]I'm talking about this, but they're

[22:31]all these different personality types.

[22:33]And I am the same way.

[22:34]Like I try to finish everything.

[22:36]So I would never let anybody down.

[22:38]And the thought of missing a deadline for me

[22:39]is like, are you kidding?

[22:40]Like, of course not.

[22:42]So anyway, that's like one of the personality types.

[22:43]You should check it out.

[22:44]It's fun.

[22:44]Or you just, I will go ahead or something.

[22:47]And what about getting into being a performer

[22:50]and a songwriter and all the rest?

[22:53]Well, God, there are so many ways to do it.

[22:55]It depends what you want to do.

[22:57]But I think that if you're in a place, again,

[23:00]where there are so many hubs of entertainment now,

[23:02]I would five years ago, I would have said,

[23:04]well, New York, a layer of Chicago.

[23:07]But now there's Atlanta, there's Vancouver.

[23:09]But I think finding a place where I think

[23:13]first finding a place where you have the freedom

[23:15]to experiment and fail is really important.

[23:18]So that's not starting out online

[23:21]because there's no freedom to fail.

[23:23]Once you put something online, it's there forever.

[23:25]So I had a college sketch comedy group

[23:27]where we would do shows once a month

[23:29]and a sketch would bomb.

[23:31]And then, you know, no one would ever talk about it again.

[23:33]Finding a safe place to stumble

[23:37]and realizing that you're supposed to stumble

[23:39]and you're supposed to fail at first

[23:41]and you're supposed to make a lot of mistakes

[23:43]and you always make mistakes.

[23:44]That's really important.

[23:46]And then as far as turning it into a career,

[23:49]everyone's trajectory is so different.

[23:51]But that's why I think the community of it all

[23:54]is important on multiple levels

[23:55]because then you start to see people get agents

[23:58]or sell scripts and you start to figure out

[24:00]how that happens, depending on what avenue you want to go down.

[24:04]And just to circle back here to middle school

[24:06]is my last question.

[24:07]Do you ever, I know Ethan and you hung out

[24:10]in high school and everything,

[24:11]but the people that you felt sort of alienated from

[24:14]or who were like stuffing you in a locker

[24:15]or whatever else, crazy stories, you know,

[24:17]whatever happened to your relationship with them.

[24:19]Yeah, well, middle school was really, was really,

[24:21]really rough and that was after Ethan.

[24:23]And I talk about in the book,

[24:25]one of the girls who was my main tour mentor in middle school,

[24:28]she came to one of my live shows about nine years ago

[24:31]and she took me out for coffee after.

[24:34]We had a really, really vulnerable conversation

[24:36]about how she was just as miserable in middle school.

[24:38]She was afraid of losing her popularity.

[24:41]That's the one really vulnerable probing conversation

[24:44]I've had with a bully other than Ethan

[24:47]because Ethan became my friend.

[24:48]So it almost doesn't count even though it does, obviously.

[24:51]That's the one other conversation I've had.

[24:53]And then short of that,

[24:55]I posted on my Facebook around the time

[24:57]of this vulture fest I said,

[24:58]hey, did you bully me in middle school

[25:00]or were you popular?

[25:02]I'd love to talk to you.

[25:03]And Ethan was the only one who got back to me

[25:05]because we were friends in high school.

[25:06]No actual middle school bully got back to me.

[25:10]And I like to think it's because, well they were afraid,

[25:13]but also I think a lot of bullies are scared, yes.

[25:16]But I also think a huge percentage of people

[25:19]who were bullies aren't terribly introspective people.

[25:22]And so they don't think a lot about the past

[25:26]because they, you know, a bad part of this country

[25:30]is sometimes we forget history.

[25:32]And I think they are those types of people,

[25:35]a lot of times of people who just,

[25:37]they don't really think about stuff in context.

[25:39]They're just kind of living their lives,

[25:42]not even in a bad way.

[25:43]And they've matured since middle school

[25:44]and they've grown up, but they don't,

[25:46]they don't think about their past a lot.

[25:48]It's probably very true.

[25:49]Yeah.

[25:50]And they probably had their own stuff going on,

[25:51]which is why they were bullies in the first place.

[25:53]But, yeah.

[25:54]And they should be in therapy to talk about that

[25:56]and process it.

[25:57]Not that.

[25:58]Not that.

[25:59]Not that.

[26:00]No, no, it's just, I think it's introspective people

[26:03]and not.

[26:04]This woman had been through a lot that I talked to

[26:06]and she was really introspective

[26:08]and had really looked within.

[26:09]And I think that's rare for bullies.

[26:11]Yeah, you're right.

[26:12]I'm sure you're right.

[26:14]Well, Rachel, thank you.

[26:15]Thanks for taking the time.

[26:16]I know you have some many press obligations.

[26:19]So thanks for stopping in here.

[26:21]And I wish you all the best of luck

[26:23]and getting a sweater on your baby.

[26:24]And all the thank you to come.

[26:27]And if you do want to follow up about childmine,

[26:29]I'm happy to send you information

[26:31]or hook you up with a head of it there

[26:32]and no pressure just if you're happy to be interested.

[26:35]Awesome.

[26:36]That is so great to know.

[26:37]Thank you and thank you so much for having me.

[26:38]My pleasure.

[26:39]Take care.

[26:40]You too.

[26:42]Thanks again to today's sponsor, me.

[26:45]My holiday gift guide, zippyowans.com slash gift shop.

[26:49]Please go check it out.

[26:50]Buy something for someone you love.

[26:51]And I promise you won't regret it.

[26:53]zippyowans.com slash gift shop.

[26:55]Go check it out.

[26:56]Thanks for listening to this episode of Moms Don't Have Time

[26:58]to Read Books.

[26:59]Don't forget to follow me on Instagram, at zippyowans

[27:02]and at Moms Don't Have Time to Read Books.

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[27:11]Thanks so much to Steve and Ryan at Textures Sound

[27:14]for the Sound Editing.

[27:15]And thank you to Morning Moon Productions

[27:17]for providing this fantastic intro and now trim music.