Clint Edwards, FATHER-ISH
[0:08]Hi, I'm Zibi Owens, and you're listening to the award-winning podcast Moms Don't Have Time to Read Books.
[0:13]Please sign up for my newsletter at zibiowens.com for weekly updates about my podcasts, events, and more.
[0:20]Also, follow me on Instagram at zibiowens and also at Moms Don't Have Time to Read Books.
[0:26]And finally, join my virtual book club called Zibi's virtual book club, which meets every other Tuesday at 2 p.m.
[0:32]Eastern Time until 3 p.m. and features half an hour of book club discussion, followed by 30 minutes of Q&A with the author whose book we've just discussed.
[0:41]You can sign up on my website zibiowens.com under the virtual book club section or even on Instagram, under the link in my bio.
[0:49]I hope you'll find me in all these different channels and enjoy this podcast.
[0:53]Today's sponsor is actually my own holiday gift guide, which you all must check out at zibiowens.com
[1:01]slash gift shop.
[1:02]Zibiowens.com slash gift shop.
[1:04]I have so many amazing things organized by all the things Moms Don't Have Time to Do, like eat, sleep, work out.
[1:11]I don't know, they're 10 different categories and they're amazing and read.
[1:15]There's so many reading gifts and writing gifts.
[1:18]My daughter's here with me today and I was asking her some of her favorites from my list.
[1:21]What do you think?
[1:22]I hide your flask and you loved all the sugary treats, right?
[1:25]Oh yeah, anything with candy, like sugar with and meaty treats.
[1:29]I love meaty treats.
[1:30]And the function of beauty champions.
[1:32]I heard about them through you.
[1:34]So function of beauty champions, Dylan's candy bar, amazing.
[1:38]So go check it out.
[1:39]We have discount codes for almost everything at this point and some are still pending,
[1:44]but go to zibiowens.com slash gift shop and get some great gifts for the people you love
[1:49]and pick up a few for yourself.
[1:50]Why not stop into the gift shop?
[1:52]Clint Edwards is the creator of the hilarious Daddy blog.
[1:55]No idea what I'm doing.
[1:57]He is also a staff writer for scary mommy and a parenting contributor to the New York Times
[2:01]and the Washington Post.
[2:02]He has been featured on Good Morning America, The Today Show, and The View.
[2:06]Clint started with his breakout hit books.
[2:08]I'm sorry, love your husband.
[2:10]And silence is a scary sound.
[2:12]His new book, Father Ish, Laugh Out Loud Tales from a dad trying not to ruin his kid's lives.
[2:18]Has more hilarious stories.
[2:20]This time focused on the heart of parenting, all those unexpected fails,
[2:23]awkward conversations, and well-intentioned little white lies.
[2:26]Welcome Clint.
[2:27]Thank you so much for coming on momstone.
[2:29]Have time to read books.
[2:31]Oh, hey, happy to be here.
[2:33]That's when you say thank you.
[2:34]That was my cue.
[2:35]I missed your cue.
[2:38]I'm not.
[2:39]I'm not very professional.
[2:41]I'm not very good at you.
[2:43]People are always like, why don't you do like go live?
[2:46]And I'm like, because I'm so awkward.
[2:49]No, you're not awkward.
[2:50]I mean, it's so funny.
[2:52]I started reading this book, not in the best mood.
[2:56]And you know those moves when you're like, I just don't feel like laughing.
[2:59]I don't want to get out of my bad mood.
[3:00]I just want to marinate in it for a while.
[3:03]And I was reading your book.
[3:05]And you made me laugh a few times out loud.
[3:07]And I'm like, oh gosh, OK, fine.
[3:08]I'm not in a bad mood anymore.
[3:09]Oh, that's good.
[3:11]That's good.
[3:12]That was a big goal.
[3:13]Yes.
[3:14]I think I'm funny.
[3:16]And that's the most important part.
[3:18]But like, it's because like my family, I think they're tired of me.
[3:23]They've known me for so long.
[3:24]Like my siblings and my mother in particular.
[3:27]And so I'd love to bring up at like family dinners
[3:30]that I'm a recognized humorist.
[3:32]I'll be like, you guys know I'm a recognized humorist.
[3:35]I'm a funny guy.
[3:36]And everybody at the table just like groan.
[3:41]Can I always trust your family to put you in your place?
[3:43]Generally.
[3:44]Yep, your family and your children.
[3:45]Definitely.
[3:46]So fatherish is your latest book.
[3:49]Laugh out loud tales from a dad trying not to ruin his kid's lives.
[3:54]And you have an amazing blog.
[3:56]And you've written other books.
[3:58]And you just have this way of making all these everyday moments
[4:01]in parenting life really funny and relatable.
[4:05]And you end up like really rooting for you.
[4:08]And you know, you compare yourself often in this book,
[4:11]at least to Clark Griswold, who was, you know,
[4:13]as a child of the 80s, my dad hero of sorts or something,
[4:19]I don't know.
[4:19]But you're much less awkward, it seems, than Clark.
[4:25]Well, you know, I think it's funny because I have like my blog.
[4:30]It's no idea what I'm doing.
[4:31]And I'm getting across platforms.
[4:34]I'm getting like close to half a million followers,
[4:36]which seems really cool.
[4:38]But I still have a day job, so it can't be that cool.
[4:41]But what is funny is like, I often have people say,
[4:44]oh man, I wish we were neighbors.
[4:45]Or I wish we could have dinner or hang out.
[4:48]And I'm like, you would be shocked how boring I am in real life.
[4:51]I think what I'm good at is just finding the humor
[4:55]in just boring things.
[4:57]But like, for the most part, I'm just like this 30-something year old dude
[5:01]just wandering around in sweatpants.
[5:03]Like, I'm not that interesting.
[5:05]But I've just been lucky enough to be able to find some of that humor.
[5:10]And I've been lucky to have, I guess my wife is willing
[5:14]to let me do it.
[5:16]She's allowed me to be able to just kind of write freely
[5:20]about our kids and her.
[5:21]And they're the most interesting people I got.
[5:24]I mean, easily.
[5:25]And so I've been lucky enough to be able to just sit down
[5:28]and be able to find the humor in it.
[5:30]And so when did you start writing?
[5:32]Did this precede your kids?
[5:33]Like, did you write as a kid yourself?
[5:35]Or is it something that came up when you just had all this material
[5:38]on your head suddenly?
[5:40]Well, so I, I don't know how far back I want to go on.
[5:43]That's right.
[5:43]Go, go all the way back.
[5:45]All the way back.
[5:45]Yeah.
[5:46]I was not the one of those kids.
[5:48]So I graduated high school and I didn't know how to type.
[5:52]And I never read a novel.
[5:53]I don't know how.
[5:54]I was like a failure of the education system.
[5:56]And when I met my wife, I was 21.
[6:00]And I told her I wanted to go to college.
[6:02]But I didn't know how to type.
[6:03]And she was like, oh, well, you know, I'll help you.
[6:07]And so she actually typed my papers when I first started college.
[6:11]So I would hand write them.
[6:12]And my spelling would be so bad.
[6:14]And my handwriting was so bad you couldn't actually read it.
[6:16]So I would sit next to her.
[6:17]And we were in this, she was living in this apartment
[6:20]across the street from the liquor store,
[6:21]like just this rundown crappy apartment.
[6:24]And I would read the papers to her and she would type them.
[6:27]And that was like when we first started dating,
[6:28]I couldn't help it like fall in love with her.
[6:30]But I was really scared to take like English, like composition
[6:35]and all that sort of stuff when I got into college.
[6:36]And then I finally did.
[6:37]And I had a really great professor.
[6:39]I got really lucky.
[6:40]And one of the first assignments was to write a humorous essay.
[6:44]And I wrote a story about when I crapped my pants,
[6:48]my freshman year in PE.
[6:49]And everybody just thought it was so funny.
[6:51]And I had so much fun writing it.
[6:53]And the professor was like, I mean, this is really
[6:55]unfortunate what happened to you.
[6:56]But this was really, really funny and well done.
[6:59]And that was kind of, I guess, when I got the writing bug.
[7:02]And so I changed my major from Powerline technology
[7:06]to English.
[7:08]And my family, like my mother was like,
[7:10]what are you going to do with that?
[7:11]And I just told her homeless.
[7:12]Because it was just, it's what she wanted to hear.
[7:15]It was like the easier answer.
[7:17]And I started writing a lot about, so my blog is titled,
[7:20]no idea what I'm doing.
[7:21]It's because my dad had a drug addiction.
[7:23]I didn't know him very well.
[7:24]So he was in out of my life.
[7:25]And that was kind of how I felt going into dad stuff.
[7:27]But anyways, I started writing a lot of essays that were funny.
[7:30]And then I started writing a lot of like serious stuff.
[7:32]And then I eventually went and got an MFA
[7:34]and creative writing.
[7:35]And I thought I was going to write this like heartbreaking,
[7:38]tragic-y memoir, you know, like Liars Club type of thing.
[7:42]And I finished my MFA and I spent like a summer
[7:45]as a stay-at-home dad trying to sell the book.
[7:48]And I was rejected by, I have a whole spreadsheet.
[7:51]It's like a spreadsheet of shame.
[7:52]And I have like 200 plus agents in small publishers
[7:56]and they're that rejected me.
[7:57]And I was so depressed and so frustrating.
[8:00]I thought, you know, I got to do something different.
[8:02]And I took the dust off this blog
[8:04]that I created as an undergrad
[8:05]and just started writing about my kids.
[8:07]It was something else.
[8:08]I didn't think anyone would be very interesting
[8:10]in my kids, but maybe they would.
[8:12]And the first thing I published on there
[8:14]was about being a stay-at-home dad.
[8:15]I think it was read by a thousand people.
[8:16]And my head just exploded.
[8:18]I thought, what?
[8:19]A thousand people read this.
[8:21]I mean, the last literary journal I was published in
[8:23]was North Dakota Quarterly.
[8:25]How often do you read that?
[8:26]Yeah, any time I'm in North Dakota.
[8:30]Always, every time I always pick it up, yeah.
[8:33]Every quarter it comes in my mailbox, right?
[8:35]I mean, I think the circulation is 300.
[8:37]You know, and it's a very respected journal
[8:39]and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
[8:40]But I'm pretty sure I read it the essay
[8:42]and the managing editor.
[8:44]I think those are the two people
[8:45]that actually read that edition.
[8:46]And so I just was like, wow, a thousand people read it.
[8:49]So I just start post-home.
[8:50]I blog every day for five days a week.
[8:54]And I was like, let's see what happens.
[8:56]And you know, and I did it for a year.
[8:57]And by the end of the year, you know,
[8:59]I got an attention to having them post.
[9:00]So I wrote for them.
[9:01]And then I wrote for the Washington Post
[9:03]and the New York Times.
[9:04]And then I had this one post just like explode
[9:06]on the Washington Post and like good marine America
[9:09]came to my house.
[9:10]It was like the worst experience.
[9:11]Like don't ever, if good morning America
[9:12]wants to come to your house, you tell them no.
[9:14]Like it's so awkward.
[9:15]Like they were following me around and my kids for like,
[9:18]I don't know, it was like eight hours or something.
[9:20]Some of them seeing them at a time.
[9:21]And I think I was on a show for maybe five minutes.
[9:24]And so I thought, oh, okay, I should be able to publish a book.
[9:26]And then I sent it out.
[9:27]I started trying to publish like a book about parenting
[9:31]and I got rejected like two hundred times again.
[9:34]So I have like two spreadsheets of shame.
[9:36]So I actually self published my first book.
[9:38]And then eventually I was able to get,
[9:40]I ended up, you know, getting attention of page three,
[9:43]which is distributed by McMillan.
[9:45]And that's who published my last three books.
[9:47]But I went, that's sorry.
[9:48]That's like, you said, go all the way back.
[9:50]It was a long time.
[9:51]But I wouldn't.
[9:52]That whole thing was really interesting.
[9:54]It was a long journey.
[9:56]And I'm here now and I've just kept it at it.
[9:59]I've just kept blogging kept.
[10:00]Brighton and, you know, fingers crossed, hopefully, you know, I'll make all sorts of money
[10:04]and, you know, I'll be able to be like a full-time ragger. That's my goal now.
[10:08]And you said you have another day job. What's your day job?
[10:11]I work in an athletics program. I tell the student athletes to do their homework,
[10:16]so I'm really popular, as you can imagine. And I've done that for I've been six years now,
[10:23]something like that. So yeah, it's a good university job and it's fine. Like I love helping
[10:27]students. I love education. I never really got out of the university once I got into it.
[10:31]But at some point, I would love to just flip my desk, you know, and piece out and be a
[10:38]writer full-time. But that's a lot harder than you think.
[10:42]I mean, at least you have to put it out there, right? You have to like, you don't get that
[10:46]goal out there. And if you don't, if you don't have it as a goal, it's definitely not going to happen.
[10:50]So, well, I'm surprised how many people think I just write full-time. They like think this is what I do,
[10:55]and I'm like, no, no. That'd be cool, though. Be great. Maybe someday.
[10:59]Maybe someday. It is a hard profession in that regard, unfortunately, because it's the talent
[11:05]is not commensurate with this, with that compensation in the slightest in this industry, I will say.
[11:10]And you know, it's funny you talk about how you couldn't tell your book of about parenting,
[11:14]because I actually had the same experience. I was doing all this essay writing about parenting and
[11:19]all these like everyday moments and whatever. And I was like, oh, this is great. This should be,
[11:23]I'll do a whole book about it and whatever. And like everyone in the industry keeps saying like,
[11:27]no, books I'm parenting don't sell. And it's so hard. And meanwhile, you know, I read books
[11:33]I'm parenting all the time. And I love the essay books like this. And so do other people. So,
[11:39]I don't know. I think it depends on the book, like with everything else. And I think blanket
[11:43]statements like, you know, book of essays don't work or parenting stories don't work.
[11:48]It's not that you just have to have the right story teller.
[11:51]Well, I think, you know, I think a lot of people get caught up in the rejection, right?
[11:55]And I'm telling you right now like, you know, I was rejected hundreds of times.
[12:00]It's got to be in the thousands by now across periodicals and essays and books and different
[12:05]things. And it used to really emotionally cripple me. And now I just kind of wrap my arms around
[12:10]it. I give the hug, you know, I pull it in. It is what it is that rejection is a huge part of it.
[12:16]And I, I don't know, man, if I had given up, you know, after that first rejection or whatever,
[12:21]I wouldn't be, you know, selling books and having people message me and say that they,
[12:26]you know, I helped them with X, Y, and Z. I mean, there's really cool stuff that happens with it.
[12:30]And we're in a really cool time where they're really, I mean, yeah, they say, no, okay,
[12:34]cool self-publish, you know what I mean? Put it up on a blog, put it out there. Keep trying.
[12:39]There are so many avenues to publish right now. And it's really, it's a really cool time to be
[12:43]a writer. I mean, I mean, think about this. I am living in the middle of nowhere, Oregon, right?
[12:48]And I started a blog most of the time writing at the McDonald's Playplace at five o'clock in the
[12:52]morning because there were no kids around and they had diet soda. And I could just get jacked up on
[12:56]Diet Coke and, and right for two or three hours. And I've been doing, I mean, I don't go there now,
[13:01]but I've been doing stuff like that for years. And, and in the middle of nowhere, Oregon,
[13:06]I've been able to put together like half a million followers and, and half three books out. Like,
[13:10]I mean, what other time could you do that? I don't know. I mean, it's, it's a cool time to be able
[13:15]to do it. That's true. I like that. It's very optimistic. And yet you also have this same sort of sad
[13:21]side to you as well, right? Which I think a lot of humor comes from pain to begin with, right? But
[13:26]you write openly about on your blog about having anxiety and depression. And even when you
[13:31]tinker with your meds and, and even stories in this book about how your dad was there more for
[13:37]your older brothers and taught them to do more of the handy things. And you missed out on that.
[13:41]And so you tried to teach your son, which ended up being like hilarious, another hilarious story.
[13:46]But there's a lot of sad, it's their sadness in all of this. And this is like your way of
[13:51]channeling it. And yet you also share it, which is very unique, I think, for most not to make
[13:56]sweeping generalizations. But a lot of men aren't as comfortable sharing all of that. So tell me
[14:01]a little bit about about that piece of you and sort of coping with what happened with your own
[14:06]dad and coping with your own mental stuff. Well, I mean, I, you know, I was diagnosed with obsessive
[14:12]compulsive disorder. Like, I was probably 19. I think is when that started to really hit home. And
[14:19]now I think I live a pretty normal life. I don't think I was ever like, I was never Jack Nicholson,
[14:23]you know, bad in, oh, what is that movie as good as it gets? You know, I was, I was definitely
[14:28]never Bill Murray and what about Bob. I never got that bad. But I definitely had a lot of, and I
[14:33]still struggle a lot with anxiety. And a lot of it has to do with, you know, having kind of a
[14:37]difficult childhood. And, you know, and I, you know, my dad was a drug addict and my mom has a lot
[14:42]of emotional problems that she hasn't dealt with. And I ran away when I was 14. I was just like
[14:46]piece out. And I laughed and eventually was raised by my grandmother. And it took me a while to be
[14:51]open about my anxiety and my depression and stuff. And some of that's mask, you know, kind of like
[14:56]cliche masculinity stuff. But some of it's just, I mean, I don't know. It takes a while for you to
[15:02]even understand it yourself. And I don't even know if I fully understand it. But I will say that
[15:06]I've found a lot of humor in the tragedy and a lot. And some of the best medicine you can do
[15:12]is to just laugh at it, you know, and laugh at what you're doing, laugh at the anxiety. And it
[15:16]definitely takes a power away. But yeah, I've been writing a lot more about, you know, my mental
[15:22]health and depression and trying to make sense of it. And I was worried that people would like
[15:26]give me crap or, you know, call me crazy or whatever, which I already call myself that. So,
[15:31]you know, it's easy for them to do too. But I've actually had way more people reach out and just
[15:35]say thanks, you know, I went on medication because of you or I reached out to my therapist because
[15:39]of you or you helped me, you know, figure out how to better manage my own anxiety. And it's not
[15:45]like I think I'm saying anything really profound, you know, I'm just writing about it and being
[15:49]open about it and being a presence in that, I think really helps. I think that helps a lot of
[15:53]other people. And that's cool for me as a writer. And it helps me not feel so alone. So of course,
[15:58]this all is about me, you know, and I feel less crazy by talking more about my crazy, I guess.
[16:04]Wow. So why do you not have a podcast? Why do I not have a podcast? Yeah. Oh, man, I listen,
[16:10]I have no desire to hear my voice anymore than I already hear it. I have no desire to do a podcast.
[16:18]I have no desire to be a vlogger. I have no desire to go. I went live a few times and I just found
[16:24]it really awkward. And I didn't like it. I just want to write like, that's what I want to do. I
[16:29]want to write. I like to write. Writing is great for me to help me process the world. You know,
[16:34]if you've got parents listening to this, particularly dads, you want to be a better dad
[16:39]write about being a dad, like sit down and just reflect on it. Think about it. Take some time to
[16:46]really understand like why is that moment sticking around your head? Why did you feel like a
[16:50]jerk then, you know, like, write it down and you will be shocked how much I mean, it's been the
[16:55]best thing that I could have done for my marriage and my family is for me to just sit down and be
[17:00]reflective about it. You know, I can't count how many times I've been riding a blog post and I'll
[17:04]think to myself, man, I don't know why I can't stop thinking about that. And then I'll be like,
[17:07]oh, it's because I was being a dick, you know, and then I'll go and apologize to my kid or I'll
[17:12]apologize when I was like, I just realized that I was being a total jerk back then and I'm sorry.
[17:17]And then, you know, I apologize and I can finish the blog post. So I mean, being reflective and thoughtful
[17:24]is one of the best things you can do. That's great advice. Your essay on when the dog was choking
[17:29]on the gingerbread might have been the funniest. It's like a David Sedaris level humor thing.
[17:35]And it's true. It's what you just said. It's like, at the end, you're like, can you believe I even
[17:39]said you're, you know, I made the dogs that you're welcome or whatever it is you did. Just so funny.
[17:43]It's like, and you know, the other great thing about this introduction, even in your book,
[17:49]is you say there are no parenting experts. Like, no one is a parenting expert, even if you call
[17:54]yourself on parents who view themselves as one, doesn't matter how much TV exposure, how
[18:00]what you put on the label underneath your title on a book, like, no one knows what they're doing.
[18:05]And that is just the most universal feeling because it's true. And your whole thing about control
[18:12]and we have no real control over these constantly changing animals I have for kids. And it's just
[18:18]impossible. It's always impossible. So you have to just like, you know, I don't know. Buckle your
[18:23]seatbelt. Yeah, I think you will, you know, we're talking about my son going by the name flip. Like,
[18:29]if you, I mean, whatever you think your kids are going to do or whatever you hope, or if you
[18:34]even think they're going to be interested in anything you've ever done, you know, like throw
[18:38]that all out the window. They are definitely their own little people. And they are interested in
[18:42]their own little things. And I don't know. I mean, parenting has been the hardest thing I've ever done.
[18:47]I mean, it's the most rewarding. I love the heck out of my kids. But they're definitely confusing.
[18:52]I can't, I can't figure them out. Yeah. I also feel that the more kids I have the more
[18:57]I realize I have not that much to do with even how they're turning out to begin with. Like,
[19:01]they're kind of horned the way they are. And I didn't know that at the beginning. I thought I had
[19:06]like, you know, whether or not I had the kid, you know, on my lap or next to me in the music
[19:10]class would actually make a difference in like their development overall and what music class,
[19:15]the fact that I've even had them in music classes where it's like these guys are like, whatever.
[19:19]That it makes no difference. Like, they're just born basically who they are just like you and I
[19:24]were. And all we can do is parents, I think, or what I've sort of come to realize is just not mess
[19:30]them up. Right. For tech to they just like try hard not to mess it up.
[19:34]I mean, I know one of the things that I've struggled with is for a long time,
[19:38]I would compare myself. You know, we were talking about keep the expectations low for this.
[19:43]Yes. Well, I did the same thing as a father. I thought to myself, I'll just,
[19:47]I'll just, you know, I'm doing better than my dad. You know, well, my dad was a drug addict.
[19:51]You know, he was not a jail. Like the best relationship I had with my dad was when I would
[19:55]visit him in jail because I knew where he was and I knew where to find
[20:00]And for the most part, he was sober, right?
[20:03]And that's a pretty low bar.
[20:05]And so it was a while there before I got into it.
[20:07]I was like, why am I still compare myself to this guy?
[20:10]You know what I mean?
[20:11]I should be raising my bar even higher.
[20:13]And the thing is with this book too, so much of it,
[20:15]it was the original, well, the original pitch
[20:17]was a Christmas book.
[20:18]I wanted to do a book all about Christmas.
[20:20]So that's why the first several essays
[20:21]are about Christmas, but the publisher was like,
[20:23]I don't know if that's gonna work, right?
[20:24]And so we eventually settled on a book of fails.
[20:28]And ultimately, this book is, it's a collection
[20:30]of all my mistakes, but so many of these mistakes,
[20:32]it's like I went into it, think I was screwing it up.
[20:34]And then found out, there actually wasn't that bad.
[20:37]I actually didn't do that bag of a job.
[20:39]And I think that's like 90% of parenting
[20:41]is you think you're screwing up your kids
[20:43]and every avenue.
[20:44]And then you start to realize that you were there
[20:46]and you were trying and that was enough.
[20:48]And that's cool.
[20:49]And it doesn't even have to be such a verb, like to parent.
[20:52]You know, like growing up, my mom, like I saw,
[20:56]this is back when there weren't a lot of parenting books
[20:57]and she was definitely more interested
[20:59]in like, you know, romance, like, you know,
[21:01]best-selling, you know, salacious reads and all this other stuff.
[21:04]But she had this one little parenting book
[21:06]and it was like, how'd it be a better parent,
[21:08]just a thing?
[21:09]And I remember seeing it and being like,
[21:10]what do you mean you're reading about that of your parent?
[21:13]Don't you know?
[21:14]Like, does that just come with the territory?
[21:16]What do you mean you're reading about it?
[21:18]Like, it blew my mind.
[21:20]And then I think about the eight trillion books
[21:22]that I have, which mostly go and read.
[21:23]Some, you know, I like to read the funny things
[21:26]about actual parenting, but I don't know.
[21:28]There's no real roadmap, but I think, I don't know.
[21:31]Here we are.
[21:32]We're all lost.
[21:33]We're, it's fine.
[21:34]I mean, I don't know.
[21:35]I mean, I like to think that my kids think
[21:38]that I know everything, but I'm just really good at Googling.
[21:42]That's really the fact is like, they'll ask me questions
[21:45]and I Google it.
[21:46]Yeah.
[21:47]That's true.
[21:48]Now they don't even ask me.
[21:49]They're just like, Siri, Siri.
[21:52]Yeah, that's true.
[21:53]Yeah.
[21:53]My kids are pretty, pretty good asking Alexa
[21:56]how to help with math now because they need to know of no use.
[21:59]Presentant, I might as well not even be around, but.
[22:02]Well, anyway, so what are you, what are you gonna do next?
[22:05]What's, what's coming next?
[22:06]You're gonna keep doing your blog.
[22:07]You have another book in you that you're thinking about.
[22:10]Yeah.
[22:11]I mean, my thought right now is,
[22:14]I mean, I might do more parenting books,
[22:15]but I would like to write something more about,
[22:18]I'd love to write a really funny mental health book.
[22:21]You know, I would love to write something
[22:23]that's like a really funny look like,
[22:25]like just dark funny, you know, look at my own mental health
[22:30]and trying to understand, you know.
[22:33]Well, I guess the goal would be is to help other people
[22:36]know how to overcome this sort of stuff.
[22:38]And I'm not saying I'm the best at it.
[22:40]And I'm still living with it, but I will say that,
[22:43]you know, I mean, one of the best things I ever did
[22:45]was to try and, I mean, so much of what my father did
[22:48]with his drug addiction,
[22:50]whenever I discuss him with my therapist,
[22:51]they're always like, was he bipolar?
[22:54]And I'm like, I don't know,
[22:55]he would have never gone to a therapist, you know.
[22:57]But there's so many parts of these crazy parts of my life
[23:00]when I'll talk to a therapist back on this,
[23:02]like he was probably having a manic episode
[23:04]and then he get jacked up on painkillers
[23:05]and just make it worse, you know.
[23:07]And so understanding how to like take those lessons
[23:10]of bad mental health management that I learned from my parents
[23:13]and try and apply them to, you know, unpacking it,
[23:18]undoing it and learning how to have healthier habits.
[23:21]So I'm hoping to write something in that vein,
[23:23]but funny.
[23:25]And we'll see, we'll see if it works out.
[23:28]That sounds great.
[23:29]Awesome.
[23:30]Well, normally I end by asking people for advice
[23:33]for aspiring authors,
[23:33]but you've given so much advice along the way,
[23:36]but give me your one year last final shreds of wisdom.
[23:40]This is the best advice I can give to any writer
[23:44]and they hate it, they hate this advice.
[23:47]You need to write every day.
[23:49]And there are authors that will disagree with you,
[23:51]but I can tell you, like when I was in grad school,
[23:54]this John Remringer, I'm probably messing up his name,
[23:57]but he wrote a book called Best Men's,
[23:59]and it won a Minnesota Book Award,
[24:00]and he came and talked to us.
[24:01]And he pulled out these calendars
[24:03]and each calendar had a,
[24:05]or each day had a couple stars on it
[24:06]and each star represented an hour that he wrote.
[24:10]And so he would, he would give himself a star
[24:12]and there were weeks where you can have anything,
[24:13]but for the most part he had years of these calendars
[24:16]where he gave himself a star.
[24:18]And he said, you know, I recommend
[24:19]to people to write two hours every day.
[24:21]And I remember thinking myself,
[24:22]that's not even a part-time job.
[24:24]And I just dragged my family halfway across the United States
[24:26]to get a creative writing degree,
[24:28]and I wasn't writing part-time.
[24:30]And so it was right then,
[24:31]and I said, I'm gonna write at least two hours a day,
[24:33]and that was probably,
[24:35]Jesus been 10, 12 years ago,
[24:38]and I write way more than that now.
[24:40]But if you write every day, you'll get somewhere,
[24:43]and you're gonna write to no one for a very long time.
[24:45]Like that's just the facts.
[24:47]But that's when things started getting better for me.
[24:49]And I also would say,
[24:50]if you're married, sit down with your spouse
[24:53]and establish that schedule.
[24:55]I write in the mornings,
[24:57]and the whole family knows I write in the mornings.
[24:59]And if you bother dad during writing time,
[25:01]he's a jerk about it.
[25:02]Like I am territorial, this is my time, I have claimed it.
[25:06]And that's when you're gonna get the most writing done.
[25:08]Write, figure out a time,
[25:10]establish it with your family,
[25:12]and then be a jerk about it.
[25:14]And you will be, you'll get more done.
[25:16]Awesome, I love it.
[25:18]Well, Clint, thank you so much.
[25:20]Thanks for talking to me about your view as a parenting
[25:23]and your books and all of it.
[25:25]This was really fun,
[25:26]and I can't wait to read your next book
[25:28]and follow, follow along.
[25:31]It's been really awesome.
[25:32]Thank you, it was awesome being on here,
[25:34]and I appreciate your time.
[25:36]Good problem.
[25:37]All right, take care.
[25:38]Happy Thanksgiving.
[25:39]Bye, YouTube.
[25:39]Thanks again to today's sponsor, me.
[25:44]My holiday gift guide, zippyowans.com slash gift shop.
[25:48]Please go check it out,
[25:49]buy something for someone you love,
[25:50]and I promise you won't regret it.
[25:52]Zippyowans.com slash gift shop, go check it out.
[25:55]Thanks for listening to this episode of Moms Don't Have Time
[25:57]to Read Books.
[25:58]Don't forget to follow me on Instagram,
[26:00]at Zippyowans and at Moms Don't Have Time to Read Books.
[26:03]Also sign up for my newsletter at zippyowans.com
[26:06]and sign up for my virtual book club
[26:08]and meet lots of authors on Zoom every other week.
[26:10]Thanks so much to Steve and Ryan at Texturesound
[26:13]for the Sound Editing,
[26:14]and thank you to Morning Moon Productions
[26:16]for providing this fantastic intro and out trim music.