Mark K. Shriver, 10 HIDDEN HEROES

[1:06]Zibby Owens: But at that time, was like going to the guy at Joe and the Juice behind the counter asking him to vote for me and anyone I could. So now I'm coming to all of you to ask you to please vote for moms don't have time to read books to win the People's Choice Webby Award for Best Live Podcast. If you go to vote.webbyawards.com, again, that's vote.webbywebbyawards.com. And then go to the little magnifying glass search thing on the upper right. All you have to type in is search my name or entry and just type in moms and it will come up. And then you can click on the best live podcast recording nominee and vote for me. Also, by the way, I won honoree for best influencer, which is crazy. Anyway, thank you for voting. I really, really would appreciate it. I would love to win the People's Voice Award, especially after trying so hard and failing two years ago. So if you could just take a few minutes and vote, I would be so grateful. You could email me after if you want at infosibbyowens dot com. And I will say thank you to you via email myself because I'm so grateful. So email me if you've done it, post about it. I'm just I would be so grateful. Thank you. Hi, this is Zoe Owens and you're listening to the award winning podcast Moms Don't Have Time to Read Books. I'm also the host of Moms Don't Have Time to Lose Weight, and I'm the editor of the anthology, which you should run out and buy, called Moms Don't Have Time to A Quarantine Anthology. All proceeds of that book go to COVID nineteen Vaccine Research. And I'm the editor in chief of Moms Don't Have Time to Write a New Publication on Medium, and we're accepting submissions, so please send your personal essays there. And if all that isn't enough, you can follow me on Instagram at Zibby Owens, and my website is zibbyowens.com. Okay. Now back to this amazing podcast. Oh my gosh. This discussion I had with Mark K. Shriver, who's the author of 10 Hidden Heroes, a Counting Book with a Message, was so powerful. I sat at dinner that night and talked to everybody about how amazing it was, especially when he cried talking about a setback he had in his son. And oh my gosh, it was amazing. Anyway, I'm so inspired by Mark and I hope you will be too. Here's his bio. Mark Kay Shriver is the president of Save the Children Action Network in Washington DC. He created the Choice Program and is a former Maryland state legislator. He is the author of My Search for the Real Pope Francis, and the New York Times bestselling memoir, A Rediscovering My Father, Sergeant Shriver, which received a twenty thirteen Christopher Award. Shriver lives with his wife and three children in Maryland. Enjoy. Welcome, Mark. Thank you so much for coming on Moms Don't Have Time to Read Books to discuss 10 hidden heroes. Thank you. Thanks for having me, Sid. Really appreciate it. It's my pleasure. Okay. What made you write this book? Which, by the way, my son and I sat on my bed and spent, like, hours finding every little thing and then going through it. Thank you for the answer key and

[4:10]Mark K. Shriver: everything at the end. What made you what made you write the book? Well, I don't think I can say anything that's let's just stop the interview based on that first comment that you and your son spent so much time reading the book and looking for the heroes because that's really what it's all about. Mean, the idea kind of came about at the beginning of the pandemic, but I've always been really more interested in goodness than in greatness. And so many people in America, we focus on the concept of greatness on power and prestige and celebrity and money. And I'm really interested in the folks who do the small things that make our communities click. Crossing guard that keeps our kids safe when they go to school, The guy who drives the trash truck and how he helps keep the community clean, the people who recycle and compost and all the small gestures that I think that make our community whole. That's what the book is really about. It's a fun way of finding hidden heroes. It's kind of, where's Waldo? But on each page, there's not just one guy dressed in a goofy outfit, but there are people of all races and abilities and backgrounds and faiths doing these small acts of love. Just corny as that is, it's these small acts of love that really came to the forefront at the beginning of the pandemic. And I think hope that will continue to be celebrated after we get through this pandemic because those are the people that are in my mind real heroes. No. You're absolutely right. I mean, there's no it's kind of like a mix of a Richard Scarry

[5:35]Zibby Owens: book. Right? One of those where you have to find all the little things and an activity book and and all of it. But I feel like nobody has done exactly what you're doing. I mean, exactly what you're saying with the different all these different ways of really appreciating. It's basically like an ode to it's appreciating so many people from Special Olympics, people who do races to I mean, all it's just amazing. In I Science mean, this is what makes life

[6:05]Mark K. Shriver: worth living anyway. Right? It's the people who take care of other people in some way. So Yeah. I mean, and I think all the great faiths talk about that, you know, whether it's Islam, Judaism, Christianity, and they talk about feeding the hungry, clothed the naked, sheltering the homeless, visiting those in prison, about repairing the world, about bringing us all together. And ultimately, think that's what's really important. Again, in America, we celebrate the Super Bowl winning quarterback CEO who has a private plane in five houses or the celebrity who just made $100,000,000 But in my mind anyways, those things are fleeting. And having met and interacted with a lot of those people, a lot of those people are honestly pretty miserable. And I wrote a book Zibby on Pope Francis. And he has a great quote in the last couple of months about the hidden saints who live next door, who perform little acts of love, tiny acts of love that changed the world. And when I first read it, I'm like, saint who lives next door little acts of love that changed the history of the world. That's a lot of big language. But ultimately I think he's right. It's these small acts. You mentioned the Special Olympics athlete and somebody said, their kids said, why is this Special Olympics athlete a hero? We purposely put in the book Special Olympics athlete from Israel arm in arm with a Special Olympics athlete from The United Arab Emirates. And a couple of years ago in The UAE, in Abu Dhabi, we had the International Special Olympic Games stadium filled with 80,000 people cheering athletes from all around the world. And The UAE doesn't recognize the country of Israel. Yet when the athletes from Israel, Special Olympics athletes from Israel walked into that stadium, they got a standing ovation. And there is the Special Olympics athletes leading the way. They're teaching us acceptance. They're knocking down these walls of misunderstanding and prejudice just because of where you're from. And that's why the Special Olympics athletes are hidden heroes. They're not only great athletes and great competitors, but they're showing us how to really love each other and how to build a stronger community.

[8:07]Zibby Owens: So what this is all obviously very true and amazing. How did you get involved in this? Like why take your time to do this message? I know you lead Save the Children. Like, how did you become so

[8:20]Mark K. Shriver: invested in helping others? Well, you know, my mom and dad really are wonderful role models or were wonderful role models for me and still are. And I, you know, I learned from them, to this day, even though they're both no longer with us physically, they're definitely with me emotionally and spiritually. And I learned from them how to interact with our kids, how they interacted with me when I was 21, 22, 23, or our youngest daughter 16. And they helped us not only when they were alive, when we were raising our children, but obviously still today. And they did these things on great big scale. My father started the Peace Corps under President Kennedy. My mother started Special Olympics, which as we've talked about is all around the world now. My father created Head Start in legal services, Job Corps, Vista, all these programs under President Johnson. But what really impressed me the most about them was the way they treated everyday people, not just the president of The United States or cardinals or senators or governors or big shots, so to speak, but how they interacted with the waitress at their favorite restaurant or the guy at The US air counter who I know still today, Edwin DeBuzz tells me about how my father, he had Alzheimer's, would so plight to him when Edwin helped him through the airport security system. And they treated people well every day. And those are role models for me. And I got into working with kids in college, came out, worked with kids in juvenile delinquent, kids who were charged as juvenile delinquents in Baltimore City. And now I've been at Save the Children for almost eighteen years. I can't believe it. We run programs all across America and around the world. But here in America focused on education and since the pandemic hit on feeding kids because so many kids in our country rely on school for breakfast and lunch. It's amazing Zippy, right? That the richest country in the history of the world has to feed so many children because they're food insecure, which really means they're hungry. To save the children is feeding kids, we're feeding them, filling their bellies and filling their minds all across rural America. And this book seemed to be almost a natural transition from that. I've just been involved with children and interacting with kids and trying to affect systemic change or investment really, public dollars in children for my whole career. And this was a fun book to do. We did it as a family during COVID. A lot of those heroes, Zibby, are ideas that our children put in there that my wife Jeannie suggested as well. The writing, Jeannie made really strong edits to it. So it was a family affair. It was fun. And I hope it brings people I hope people have fun as you are doing with your son. Also, they have great conversations about what constitutes a real hero these days. Yeah. There were some where I feel like I found some heroes, but they weren't in your list at the end. And I was like, I don't know. I call that a hero, but it looks like I was wrong. So forget it. I don't know. No. No. No. You're right. You're right. They we we slipped in a couple extra heroes on some of those pages. I'm like, wait a minute. We're on three hidden heroes, but there's like five here. And they're like, you know, so we we had some fun. We're not playing by the rules that closely. There's there there's some fun ones in there. I'm glad you found them. Yeah.

[11:34]Zibby Owens: I'm like, you know, a rule follower. I'm like, I have to get this right. You know? Perfectionist or something. Sorry. Sorry. That's okay. That's okay. It's alright. We we got past it. So how do you instill so I love that you said that that your parents, obviously, with modeling what they did in their life, but it has to be and obviously, with how they treat sort of everyday people everywhere. I mean, everybody, every interaction is just as important. How do you as a dad make sure to do the same with your own kids? You know, I wrote this book on my father after he died eleven years ago and it's called A Good Man because I think he was ultimately a good man in addition to being a great man. But it's harder in my mind to be a good man when no one's looking. Know, some of

[12:18]Mark K. Shriver: these celebrities or politicians or people in the public are great in public, but when they're in private, they're not as good. And my daughter, who's about 14, said to me at the end of it, oh, I'm gonna write a book on you too when you get old, dad. And I said, oh, thanks. And I said, are you gonna call it? And she said, an okay dad.

[12:41]Zibby Owens: Today's episode is sponsored by Quince. Summer always makes me rethink what I'm reaching for every day. Lighter fabrics, better materials, pieces that just feel good the moment you put them on and look effortless. That's why I keep coming back to Quince. They focus on high quality essentials. Think breathable linen, soft organic cotton, washable silk, but without the luxury markup. It's that rare balance where everything feels elevated, but still easy. Quince has beautiful everyday pieces like 100% European linen pants, dresses, and tops with styles starting at $32. Their denim is soft and easy to wear. I wear my jean jacket all the time. And their organic cotton sweaters are perfect for layering on cool summer nights. Everything at Quince is priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. Quince works directly with ethical factories and cuts out the middlemen, so you're paying for quality, not brand markup. And it's not just clothing. Quince has really become a destination for elevated essentials across home, kitchen, bedding, and beyond, making it easy to bring a more premium feel into everyday life. In addition to my jean jacket, I recently got a white tank top dress with a beautiful cotton skirt that is absolutely gorgeous, and I can't wait for it to be warm enough so I can wear it every day, but it has been a cool spring. Elevate your summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com/zippy for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty five day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's quince.com/zippy for free shipping and three hundred and sixty five day returns. Quince.com/zippy. I was thinking she was gonna say, like, mediocre or, you know, totally average. You know? Well, got to the punchline before I did. So I'm

[14:29]Mark K. Shriver: trying, my wife and I try every day to model that behavior, but to also do it with a lot of fun. My parents, people say, well, how do they work till they were in their mid-80s? My father almost into his 90s? And I said, I don't think they really thought they were going to work. I mean, I think they found so much joy, which is different than fun, but they found so much joy in their work that it really wasn't work. I think they really believed that God is in every interaction and that God is in not only this conversation, God is when you go to the restaurant, you talk to the waitress, God is in that interaction. I know it sounds a little corny and I'm not trying to evangelize anyone here, but I think they really believe that every day was a chance to make the world a little bit better. And that got them fired up. They went to mass for Catholic, they went to mass every day, got on their knees, and they realized they weren't God, which is a pretty big deal because I think a lot of people in America anyways, particularly men, think we're God like and we're not. And my mother and father knew it. They knew they needed help. They knew they needed their associates, their colleagues, people all to make the world a little better. Jeannie and I, my wife and I try to do that every day. We are not doing it. It's a struggle. But I think if you show that joy, your kids figure out what brings real joy and meaning into your life, at least I hope. And I hope that they find work that is fulfilling and fulfills their soul as well, because you're going to pop out of bed if you're doing that kind of work. If you're not, you're gonna be dragging your butt around. It's true. It's a gift to be able to do what you love. Right? It's very end of things. Huge. So we try. I mean, we drive the kids nuts about five times a year. We go and pick up trash on the road right around the corner here and we recycle it. We compost in the backyard, have a barrel that we put all of our vegetable scraps in and fruits and vegetables. There was a powerful story the Pope told about when you see a homeless person, do you walk in the opposite direction? Or do you look them in the eye and give them a dollar or $2 Do you ask them their name? And that had a profound impact on me about six years ago because I work in Washington DC and for the most part, frankly, I tried to avoid homeless people. I thought, they smell or they're mentally ill or I'm too busy because I got really important stuff to do. I'd save the children. In reality, I'm not that busy. You can always take two minutes to be kind to people and you learn from them and try to model that behavior with our kids as well. Slow down and appreciate the human being in front of you rather than think you're more important or be nervous. I mean, my mother, and I'll shush, I promise.

[17:21]Zibby Owens: My mother This is your interview. Don't shush. I mean, people aren't here to listen to me.

[17:27]Mark K. Shriver: Rambling. I'm rambling. But my mom started Special Olympics, right? And would often have Special Olympics athletes over at our house playing games with us, playing sports. She had someone actually help in the house, Aldi, who had developmental disabilities. Some of my friends who got older were like, I don't want to hang out with people who have developmental disabilities. Never met anybody like that. What do they like? It's like completely natural because we grew up with people like that. There were Peace Corps volunteers in our house. All of my family's exposure to those people of all different backgrounds, of all different skills, of all different nationalities almost became second nature just because my parents involved them in our lives. So we try to do that with our kids as well, expose them to different faiths, expose them to different people of different backgrounds, different colors, because that's what makes the world so exciting and joyful. Wow.

[18:23]Zibby Owens: I don't know if you have met the author Kelly Corrigan or not, but she has Yes. Okay. Have you you seen her book that's coming out now? Are you doing an event together or something? Because you should. We are not doing an event. She's a pal. I've done a couple of events with her and other speaking arrangements and she's a pal. She actually blurbed

[18:42]Mark K. Shriver: this book on Amazon. You can see her endorsement of it. She's wonderful. And she sent me a copy of her book too. Yeah, it's fantastic. Sorry. I cut you

[18:51]Zibby Owens: No. No. I interviewed her yesterday for the second time actually, and I adore her. But she I feel like you have the same you used a different means to the same end. Right? Like her philosophy still through kids is asking questions, right? Because that's how you get to know those people, the same people you're talking about, right? Yes. Take it a step further, like find out about them and then you'll realize your commonalities or what's interesting about them or whatever. And and I don't know. I feel like your these two books should be sold sort of like as a, you know, raise empathetic kids package. You know? If you wanna raise empathetic kids, you know, take these two books.

[19:28]Mark K. Shriver: Well, thank you. I mean, it's a huge compliment for me. She's a fantastic writer, and she's got so much positive energy as well. And thank you for reminding me. I'll reach out to her. Haven't talked to her in a couple of weeks. She's right. My mom used to say that if you're sitting with somebody and you find them boring, that's your own fault because everybody's got a great story and everyone has got something to share. And if you can't get that from them, that's because you didn't ask a question, weren't curious enough, you weren't that engaged. It puts a little pressure on you at cocktail parties or at dinners. But she's 100% right. Everybody's got a story. Everybody's got wherever they're from. And everybody's got something that they can teach you and that we can learn from each other. But you have to ask those questions. You have to be curious. You have to probe. That's I think what makes it really fun. It's what makes life fun. And that's why I think my parents were so joyful. It's because my father not only asked questions, but he listened, which is really hard to do sometimes, Zibby, right? People, they want to tell you their answer right away or they want to jump in and interrupt you. Like I've done to you a couple of times already, but really listen and to hear what people are saying from their perspective is hard. My father said it was the hardest thing to do. So, you know, learning these

[20:45]Zibby Owens: things from my parents are still so helpful in my life. Well, first of all, I have to say I've done like, I don't know, 600 some odd interviews. And I've never spoken to anybody who has spoken so much about their own parents as role models as you. So whatever they did was like, you know, they did something right along the way. I mean, is what a testament to their parenting and your relationship to, you know, have them so infused in every moment, so top of mind and everything. And I'm sorry for the loss that, you know, that they're not with us. It's obviously, you know Thank you. Huge piece. Is there anything in terms of asking probing questions? What am I missing about your life? What big thing did we not discuss? There must have been something, some moment, something, somewhere that is part of your big story or a small story. That's a great question. I mean, I I didn't have any, you know, life changing experience like, you know, getting

[21:41]Mark K. Shriver: Saul on the road to Damascus, getting knocked off his donkey and seeing God. I mean, I've had a number of defeats, which I think I learned a lot from. You talked about the loss of one's parents. So many of us have to go through that pain. They're not physically here with me in this room. I got promoted up to our son's room when he went back to college. They're not in this house, but they're in my heart. And as I said earlier, you learn from them. I've learned from my defeats as well as painful as they are. I ran for the United States Congress because I was in the Maryland state legislature for eight years and ran for Congress, lost Very, very close election, you know, couple thousand votes that stung. You know, our boy at that point, Tommy, was, I don't know, six years old. I used to listen to U2, the band, and a great song at that point called It's Beautiful Day. So I used to sing it to him all the time. And we walked out of the restaurant where we had breakfast the day after the loss and the wind was whipping and it's chilly. And little Tommy had a lisp, but he put his arms out and he stopped us. My wife, Jean and I and our daughter Molly, Emma wasn't born yet. He said, dad, it's a beautiful day. Aw. And I'm like, you know what? It is. I lost yesterday. Today's a beautiful day. It's time to roll. You know? You gotta if you can keep that every day is a beautiful day kind of thing going on there. Sorry. I get choked up when I think about that little kid. But that's like, it's a beautiful day and there's pain in it. But I'll go back to Pope Francis for a second Zippy, he talks about mercy. At first I thought mercy was writing a bigger check, being nice to somebody. Really what mercy is about is accompany people on their journey in life. To listen, to see the beauty in every interaction and be with people in moments of joy, but also moments of sadness. And, you know, little Tommy, moment was saying, it's a beautiful day. Let's roll. Let's, you know, celebrate what we have. So that was good. That's good stuff, I think.

[23:52]Zibby Owens: See, I wouldn't have known that story. That was, like, the greatest thing. I mean, that makes me rethink how I'm living my day today. Right? It is because it's a beautiful day today and every all the bad stuff. Right? It's all perspective and the gift of another day. It is. And yeah. You're right. It's all perspective. And we're coming out of a tough

[24:10]Mark K. Shriver: twelve, thirteen, fourteen months here with a lot of pain, a lot of economic pain, a lot of emotional pain, a lot of racial pain. But I think we can come out of it stronger if we all realize the pain we've been through collectively and, you know, work together rather than, you know, go back into our tribes or into our corner or, you be a democrat or republican or gay or straight or conservative or liberal, all that labels are easy to assign to people. It's knocking down those labels and really getting to know each other that's hard. That hard work is joyful work, and that's beautiful. Wow. I think it is. I hope it is. That's what I'm It is. Yes. Of course.

[24:55]Zibby Owens: And so important. I mean, essential, more than important, like mandatory.

[24:59]Mark K. Shriver: No. And that's what, you know, 10 hidden heroes is about. The book is it's really about trying to elevate those people who are doing that work that they don't get paid a lot of dough. They don't get end up on the front page of the newspaper or on television. They're doing the good hard work of keeping our community whole. And what this book is about, it's not a preachy book. It's supposed to be fun, but to raise up those people and their work to do. Last question for you. What advice would you have for aspiring authors now that you're a children's book author, all of your other books, everything? What what would your advice? It's really hard work. As you know, Zippy, it's it's tough. It's lonely. You know? I'm reading this book that Robert Carroll wrote about. It's called Working, And it's really good about how he wrote, he's written a couple of books in his life. They've all won the Pulitzer Prize. They took him years and years and years to write because he kept digging around, asking questions, trying to get the full story to be as objective, as comprehensive as possible. And it's a lonely job. But I think somebody said to me once, everybody's got a book in them. And I've got a couple of friends who have written and self published and they don't sell as many books as they want to sell. That's okay because you're getting your voice out there. And if you have that story to tell, you got to get it out of you. So sit down, struggle with it. I wrote the book on a pad of paper and typed it up and then went through editing, editing, editing is relentless. I mean, eight, nine rounds of edits, because every word, if it's written really well, makes a difference. And in a children's book in which there's literally 40 or 50 sentences, every word makes a difference. And I think that's true if you're writing 40 words or 50,000. So if you're writing and you're struggling, go for it. Keep at it, stay positive. It's hard and it can be really lonely. When you write something that you think is great, wow, anyways for me, I don't know that I've written anything great, but I've gotten, I wrote the other books, wrote off in Saturday morning at 06:00 and grand come up at nine and be so fired up that 10 sentences went together. My wife thought I was crazy. And I guess I was because it's just great to get that out of you, out of your heart, out of your soul. So I hope if anybody's watching who's struggling in writing, stay at it because it's worth all of the hard work. And don't worry about how many people buy the book because that's not really what it's about. It's about getting your thoughts on paper and leaving them there forever,

[27:44]Zibby Owens: really. Is that all? Wow. Well, Mark, thank you. Thank you so much for this really sort of deep and emotional and meaningful conversation that inspired by 10 hidden heroes. I'm not surprised,

[28:00]Mark K. Shriver: but delighted. So thank you for your time. Thank you for having me. Really appreciate it and I hope I'll see you soon. Thank you. Yeah. Bye.

[28:08]Zibby Owens: Thanks for listening to this episode of Moms Don't Have Time to Read Books. Don't forget to follow me on Instagram at Zibby Owens and at moms don't have time to read books. Also sign up for my newsletter at zibbyowens.com and sign up for my virtual book club and meet lots of authors on Zoom every other week. Thanks so much to Steve and Ryan at Texture Sound for the sound editing, and thank you to Morning Moon Productions for providing this fantastic intro and outro music.