Julia Quinn, THE WIT AND WISDOM OF BRIDGERTON: Lady Whistledown's Official Guide (The Bridgertons)
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[0:41]Julia Quinn is the author of The Wit and Wisdom of Bridgerton.
[0:44]Lady Whistle Down's Official Guide, The Bridgerton's.
[0:47]Number one, New York Times best-selling author Julia Quinn
[0:50]loves to dispel the methods smart women don't read or write romance.
[0:54]And in 2001, she did so in grand fashion.
[0:57]Appearing on the game show, The Weakest Link, and walking away with the $79,000 jackpot.
[1:03]She displayed a decided lack of knowledge about baseball, country music, and plush toys,
[1:07]but she is proud to say that she aced all things British and literary,
[1:11]answered all of her history and geography questions correctly,
[1:14]and knew that there was a da Vinci long before there was a code.
[1:18]In the United States alone, there are over 10 million copies of her books in print,
[1:22]globally, her books have been translated into 37 languages.
[1:26]She lives with her family in the Pacific Northwest.
[1:29]Hi, Julia.
[1:30]Thank you so much for coming on Moms.
[1:31]Don't have time to read books.
[1:32]To discuss The Wit and Wisdom of Bridgerton, Lady Whistle Down's Official Guide,
[1:37]your latest book, Congratulations.
[1:39]Thank you.
[1:40]Thank you for having me.
[1:41]Oh my gosh.
[1:42]It's my pleasure.
[1:43]Congratulations on the crazy success of Bridgerton and all your books and everything that
[1:48]you do.
[1:49]I'm beyond impressed at how many best sellers.
[1:52]And I mean, it's just amazing.
[1:53]I can't even imagine what it's like to see now the show take off like this too.
[1:57]Are you just, what is that like for you?
[1:59]It's, it's just, no, you probably can't imagine it.
[2:02]It's as crazy as you're imagining.
[2:04]I tell people that, I mean, I expected the show to do well.
[2:09]I didn't, I didn't never thought it was going to bomb or anything like that.
[2:12]But I didn't, I don't know how anybody could expect what ended up happening,
[2:16]which was just, I mean, it's just bonkers.
[2:19]It's just absolutely bonkers and in the best possible way.
[2:22]Wow.
[2:23]Okay.
[2:24]I want to talk about this book, but I want to understand how you even got here.
[2:27]So you went to Harvard.
[2:29]You were going to be a doctor.
[2:30]You went to med school.
[2:32]And then what happened?
[2:33]Right?
[2:34]It's okay.
[2:35]It's almost the story.
[2:36]Okay.
[2:37]So I was at Harvard.
[2:38]I was in my,
[2:40]listen, where do I start?
[2:42]So between my junior and senior year at Harvard, I started writing a romance novel.
[2:47]I mean, it was just kind of like, it was what I like to read for fun.
[2:51]And so I thought I'd write it.
[2:53]I was working for let's go Europe, which is the travel.
[2:56]Yeah.
[2:57]You at Harvard.
[2:58]And the previous year,
[2:59]I'd been one of their writers who they sent me off to Greece, which was really kind of fun and interesting.
[3:04]And I say that was some irony because I don't speak Greek.
[3:08]And when I said to them, I don't speak Greek.
[3:10]That's okay.
[3:11]We don't have anybody who speaks Greek.
[3:12]So you're as good as anyone else.
[3:13]Okay.
[3:14]Great.
[3:15]It's all great to me.
[3:17]I was, I was hired to do the UK and Ireland book.
[3:20]And then they switched me off to Greece.
[3:22]And then the next year, I stayed back in Cambridge.
[3:25]And I sold the advertising, which was actually really kind of a fun time.
[3:28]And I was living with my boyfriend who was working on an ambulance reader.
[3:33]I married him later.
[3:34]But anyway, so, so I wrote about four chapters of what actually ended up becoming my first novel.
[3:42]And I said to myself, Oh, I'm going to keep writing this when I'm in college.
[3:45]And of course, I didn't because I just had too many other things to do.
[3:48]And so then, you know, I had this big epiphany my senior year.
[3:52]I decided I wanted to be a doctor.
[3:53]I was taking this class in evolutionary biology, which was fabulous.
[3:57]I loved it.
[3:58]And it kind of reawakened this love of science in me.
[4:01]And I was the classic girl of the eighties who got brainwashed that stem was for boys.
[4:10]And it was really, really sad, because I had actually been, you think for writer, I would have better vocabulary recall, but I've been identified actually as one of the top math and science female math and science students in the country in like junior high and high school.
[4:24]And I was like, Oh, no, no, that's not me. I don't want to.
[4:27]So I didn't do any of that stuff.
[4:29]And so I had this reawakening love of science. I decided I'm going to be a doctor.
[4:34]And I think this came about in part because I knew how to apply to school.
[4:43]I didn't know how to get a job, but I knew how to apply to school.
[4:47]So I thought, okay, well, you know, there's what is there.
[4:50]There's law school, there's med school, there's business school.
[4:53]The med school seemed like a good thing.
[4:54]So I decided I was going to do that.
[4:56]And I didn't have the prerequisites. I had to go and do all those later. And so now I had about two years after college and which I was taking classes half time, but I did not.
[5:07]You can't hold down a regular job. So I said, okay, well, I'm going to finish running my novel. So I was writing my novel. I was working part time and, you know, jobs that didn't require too much brain power.
[5:17]So I was taking my med school, my pre med classes and I finished my book. And I, you know, went out and got an agent and I ended up selling the book the same month. I got into medical school.
[5:28]And that was kind of crazy.
[5:31]And I ended up deferring because I just thought, you know, I just sold the book. I can't get this too exciting. And I knew, you know, once you get going in medical school, that's it.
[5:40]You're, you know, that's your road for a really long time. So I deferred and then I deferred again. And meanwhile my boyfriend went.
[5:47]So I'm living with a med student.
[5:49]And then I had what I call my mid 20s crisis, which was all of a sudden all my friends were going to graduate school.
[5:56]All I think was I'm not qualified to do anything if this writing thing doesn't work out, which is ridiculous. I'd already had three books published.
[6:03]So I'm basically living the dream right everybody wants to publish a book. And yet I'm freaking out because I haven't been to graduate school.
[6:12]And I went, this is like an August. I still can't believe they did this, but I went back to the people at Yale, which was where I had gotten into med school and deferred.
[6:21]And I begged them to take me back. And literally with days despair before the school year started, they took me back. And so I said, what I did was I got on the longest highway with the shortest on ramp.
[6:32]Because, you know, my on ramp to med school was really short, but it went on forever. And so I went to med school for about two to two and a half months before I realized it wasn't the right thing.
[6:42]And I withdrew. And so now, you know, this sounds like if I could send very, very arch and whatever I could say I'm a Harvard grad and a Yale dropout.
[6:52]I'm exactly sure what that means. But, and I haven't looked back. And, you know, I tell people I'm married to a doctor. So I know exactly what I'm missing. And boy, do I think I made the right choice.
[7:03]Wow.
[7:04]I could actually, by the way, say, I almost could have said the same thing except I went to Yale undergrad and I almost dropped out of Harvard business school. In fact, I went to the people and I was like, I'm dropping out. I'm done. See later.
[7:15]And they convinced me to stay. But I was out of there. Oh, so we're almost like these psychic twins. You know, what's interesting is when I went to the dean.
[7:24]And went through my reasons for not wanting to stay. He actually said to me every time every year this time somebody comes to me like you.
[7:32]And this is the very first time somebody's come to me and laid out why they don't think it's right for them. And I've thought you've really thought this through.
[7:41]you're right. And so he didn't try to convince me to stay. He said, I think it and here's the best part. He said to me, oh, what a lovely man. He said, I don't think we need to charge you any tuition for your time here.
[7:54]No way.
[7:55]Yeah. So, so they ended up never charging me. And they just paid you to leave. They were like, you know what?
[8:03]You can just get away from here. We'll just hand you this money and the interest from it that we made.
[8:10]That would be nice. That would be really nice. But no, I did, but they didn't charge me and I did put him. His name is Dean Gifford and I did put him in a book.
[8:18]Just his name. But so Dean Gifford is in Hana Mary Marquis. You can see his name in there. That was my thanks because I remember actually, you know, when I was debating to should I stay, should I go looking in the Yale handbook.
[8:30]Very specifically like wait a minute. What point am I on the whole print entire year's tuition year.
[8:35]And so, you know, I was at the point I was like, oh, you know, if you're going to go, you need to go now because if you wait next week, it's going to be like another $5,000 or something. So there is that.
[8:44]We're still paying off my husband's med school loan. So there, you know, who knows how long we're taking. Oh my gosh. Well, at least I feel like anybody coming to your house has some sort of, you know, medical.
[8:56]I feel like anybody who comes to you guys, they'll be fine. Right.
[9:00]Because of me. I mean, I can help you out. Like if you need a band aid or something. But you know, my husband is a and at a new field of need to point this out in this day.
[9:07]And he is a board certified medical doctor in the field of infectious diseases with about 20 years practice.
[9:15]And I do feel the need to say this fully because there seems to be such a disdain for people who have expertise in their field these days.
[9:24]And so I'm often like quoting him saying, no, your internet search is not the same as, you know, my husband's, I don't know, 25, 30 years in this field of infectious disease. So it's been a very interesting time to be an infectious disease family.
[9:41]I bet. Wow. Must be a lot of stories there as well. Oh my goodness. Yes. Another book perhaps for him to write. I think for him to write.
[9:49]I think it's so interesting that despite writing three books, you are already feeling bad about yourself. Somehow, no matter how many books people write, there's still some lingering thing like you should be doing something else or is this enough.
[10:00]or will this go anywhere or whatever?
[10:02]Like when did you feel like you could stop that or have you?
[10:05]Oh, I stopped that, definitely, good, too.
[10:07]All right, I am not, yeah.
[10:09]You know, I don't, I'm not, I don't feel like,
[10:10]oh, my books are perfect, I'm the best writer to ever was,
[10:13]but I don't have imposter syndrome anymore.
[10:15]So that, I mean, I don't think I really did have
[10:18]imposter syndrome with this.
[10:20]I always felt good about my writing.
[10:22]And I always felt like I deserve to be published
[10:25]and all that stuff.
[10:26]And I didn't expect everybody to love it.
[10:28]I mean, so I didn't have unrealistic expectations.
[10:30]So I think maybe that helps.
[10:31]But I think that was just this, yeah, I don't know what it was.
[10:34]It wasn't about the writing.
[10:35]It was more just about this, you know,
[10:38]what society told me I was supposed to be doing
[10:41]at that time in my life.
[10:42]And, you know, you see what your peers are doing.
[10:44]And, you know, and I was living in New Haven
[10:46]where I think I was possibly one of the only 20 something
[10:49]people not who was, it wasn't a student, you know,
[10:51]I'd go somewhere and be like,
[10:52]oh, where do you study?
[10:53]And I'm like, nothing, I have a job.
[10:56]I mean, that's what it is to be this spouse
[10:58]of a graduate student in a college town, really.
[11:01]Everybody is, you know, studying something except for you.
[11:04]And yeah, so it's just a kind of a weird time.
[11:07]And I think I just, you know,
[11:08]it's kind of emotional people.
[11:10]And then I came out of it.
[11:11]And I feel pretty good about my choices.
[11:14]Good. Yeah.
[11:15]I think you've proven that this is a good field.
[11:18]I mean, it worked for me, it worked for you.
[11:22]So why, after all the books,
[11:24]did you write the wit and collect?
[11:25]I should say the wit and wisdom of Bridgerton
[11:27]and collect all the quotes and make this beautiful guide,
[11:30]which is, you know, gorgeous and very giftable
[11:32]and amazing.
[11:33]A to Z, I like this quote.
[11:34]I simply refuse to deal with idiots
[11:36]and has cut my social obligations in half.
[11:38]I love that.
[11:39]It's gonna be nice for all of us.
[11:41]Well, I mean, to be completely honest,
[11:43]it was suggested to me.
[11:44]And, you know, we wouldn't have this gorgeous collection
[11:46]if we didn't have the television show
[11:48]in suddenly this big market for it.
[11:49]But, you know, it just seemed like a nice idea.
[11:52]With, suddenly there were so many new readers
[11:55]and also people who watched the shows
[11:59]but wanted to taste it through the care books.
[12:01]And so, you know, it was just suggested.
[12:03]And I thought, okay, I'll run with it.
[12:05]And it was really fun, actually.
[12:07]You know, the, I wrote these books a long time ago.
[12:11]The very, the first book, The Duke and I,
[12:12]I figured out it would have written in 1998.
[12:15]Yeah, so my book is old enough to legally drink.
[12:18]And that's when I graduated from college.
[12:22]I, your book and I were, you know,
[12:24]out in the world at the same time here.
[12:25]Okay, yeah, so you can relate to exactly how old it is.
[12:29]And I'm not, I think most writers don't go back
[12:32]and reread their books very often.
[12:34]I mean, I don't.
[12:35]And for me, a big part is that the way that I write,
[12:39]I edit as I go long.
[12:40]Now, I'm like, I realize this is a podcast,
[12:42]but I'm actually making motions
[12:44]about the show like my editing process.
[12:45]These little loops constantly looping back.
[12:48]But what happens is that by the end of it,
[12:50]I've read the book maybe 100 times.
[12:52]I mean, it's just, and I don't want to read it again.
[12:55]You know, and I remember talking to somebody
[12:58]who published a thing like you need to stop saying this
[13:00]because I'm like, oh my God, it's so predictable.
[13:04]But I think it's a boring and they're like,
[13:05]stop saying that about it.
[13:07]But the point is, if you read something 100 times,
[13:10]it seems pretty predictable, right?
[13:12]You know, and so I want to read it again.
[13:14]So I've been a long, long time before I done this.
[13:16]But I didn't do a close reread,
[13:18]but I did, I guess, a fairly thorough skim of all the books.
[13:23]I mean, we did have someone who helped with, you know,
[13:26]did a preliminary go, she went through the books to find
[13:29]but she thought were really quotable quotes.
[13:30]But you know, in the end, it has to be me.
[13:32]And so I did a skim and I also, I cheated a little,
[13:35]although I guess someone called cheating,
[13:37]someone called it very clever research.
[13:39]And I went to Goodreads where people like put their favorite
[13:44]quotes in and I was able to find some good quotes.
[13:46]That way, although then you have to go back and find them
[13:49]in the books and make sure that they actually existed.
[13:53]But it was funny, you know, it's fun because sometimes
[13:55]you'd go through and you'd think, that's not bad, you know.
[13:59]I did that, you know, I mean, a lot of these quotes,
[14:01]I have no recollection of writing that sentence.
[14:03]And then some of them were quite memorable to me.
[14:05]Like I did remember them very well.
[14:08]And so I keep looking off at that, I have the book here too.
[14:10]And it was fun.
[14:12]And the other thing that was very different about it was
[14:14]that I am not a very visual writer.
[14:18]So when I, I don't picture the scenes the way I think
[14:22]some people think I do.
[14:24]And I don't picture the characters very clearly.
[14:27]I mean, I describe them all.
[14:28]This person has this color hair and he's got that color eyes.
[14:31]But I don't have a very sharp image of it.
[14:36]And it's different now that we've had the show
[14:39]because now I'm rereading this stuff and I see the actors.
[14:43]And so it's a very different experience for me to actually have
[14:45]these clear images of what the characters look like.
[14:49]And I think that's a testament to the excellent acting
[14:52]and especially to the fabulous casting director
[14:56]because she did an amazing job.
[14:57]So, you know, I think I say this in the intro.
[14:59]It doesn't matter that, you know, in the book Simon have blue eyes.
[15:03]You know, when I'm reading the Simon stuff,
[15:04]now I see Reggae Jump page who was absolutely amazing.
[15:08]And then the woman who plays Eloise, Claudia Jessie,
[15:11]she puts an incredible physicality into the way she does that role.
[15:17]You know, she's always, you know, when she walks,
[15:18]it's like her heads, like a couple inches ahead of the rest of her.
[15:21]Like she just has to get where she's going.
[15:23]And I see these things.
[15:25]I see her movements as I'm reading her stuff.
[15:27]And so it was really fascinating,
[15:30]exercise for me and in almost intellectual sense as well.
[15:33]Wow. Now I love how you said like,
[15:35]yes, thank you to the show
[15:36]because now I actually have a picture of what they look like in my head.
[15:40]That's great.
[15:42]This is somewhat off topic,
[15:43]but I saw on your website that you had started a foundation
[15:46]in honor of your father because of his loss a year ago.
[15:50]What can you tell me about that?
[15:51]Yes, it was actually earlier this year.
[15:53]My father and my sister were killed in a automobile crash
[15:59]that was caused by a drunk driver.
[16:00]And then also a truck that didn't properly secure its load.
[16:04]So a truck, I'm told Canvas bags flew off the back of a truck.
[16:09]And my father's car and another car,
[16:12]I don't know whether they stopped or just slowed down a lot,
[16:15]but they did.
[16:15]And then there was a man driving a very large pickup truck
[16:19]who was three times over the legal limit for alcohol.
[16:22]He told the police he'd been drinking for two days straight,
[16:25]claimed into the back of my father's car,
[16:28]which then slammed into the car in front of it,
[16:30]killing my father and my sister,
[16:32]critically, critically injuring my brother-in-law,
[16:35]who still hospitalized this was five months ago.
[16:39]And also badly injuring my stepmother
[16:43]who can no longer live independently.
[16:45]So this was obviously something pretty,
[16:48]I don't even know how to explain it.
[16:49]I mean, it's just it's nothing I've ever gone through
[16:51]in my life.
[16:52]It's easily the worst thing that ever happened in my life.
[16:55]And somebody described it as the year of loss and abundance
[17:02]because on the one hand,
[17:04]so many incredible things were happening in my life
[17:06]because of Bridgerton and then on the other hand,
[17:09]I lost two people very close to me in the blink of an eye.
[17:12]And I've been trying to, well, you can't make sense of it.
[17:15]So I think making sense of it isn't the right word,
[17:17]but I've been trying to find ways to heal.
[17:20]And stuff because you've got two people
[17:23]and there's two very separate things.
[17:24]And so you can think about my dad and think,
[17:27]okay, you know, yeah, my dad was perfectly healthy
[17:30]and he probably had another decade at least,
[17:32]but he's 77 and you know,
[17:34]I got to have my father for 51 years
[17:37]and the kids down the block were teenagers lost their dad
[17:40]last year to pancreatic cancer.
[17:41]And so I'm very fortunate, you know,
[17:43]but that argument doesn't work when your sister is 37.
[17:46]So I've been finding different ways for each of them
[17:49]to mourn for my sister.
[17:50]It has been working, we had been working on a book together
[17:53]a graphic novel, which is coming up next year
[17:56]called Ms. Butterworth and the Mad Baron.
[17:59]And so for her, I've been trying to honor her
[18:01]by making sure that that continues in the best possible manner.
[18:06]It was almost done.
[18:07]So there's stuff to do.
[18:08]And then with my dad, we created,
[18:10]not a foundation, but a scholarship in his name
[18:14]or working towards the creation of a scholarship
[18:15]in his name at the Summer Science Program,
[18:17]which is a program that feels exactly
[18:20]it sounds like it's a Summer Science program.
[18:22]And he had actually been a participant in 1960
[18:25]in the second year of its existence.
[18:27]And at the time it was just for boys, of course.
[18:30]And it was for like the best science students
[18:33]in the state of California.
[18:34]And he got to go and it just opened his eyes in a huge way.
[18:37]He came from what was then a very small town in California.
[18:40]It's now actually a fairly large city.
[18:42]But you know, and somebody there would suggest to them,
[18:45]you know, why don't you consider applying Harvard,
[18:47]you know, and nobody has high school
[18:49]and everyone left the state to go to college.
[18:51]And so it was a really big deal.
[18:53]And it kind of just opened his world.
[18:54]And then, and at the time they did like,
[18:57]it was astrophysics and they actually had like a computer
[18:59]they were working on.
[19:01]And later in, I think it was probably the early 90s,
[19:05]he realized that the program was floundering.
[19:07]And along with some other alums,
[19:09]he took it over and saved it.
[19:13]And so he worked on it was on the board of directors
[19:15]for years.
[19:16]And so my family and I are establishing a scholarship
[19:19]so that that will provide full financial aid
[19:22]for one student per year.
[19:24]And then we also insisted there has to be a color prize.
[19:27]His lessons color for the student who,
[19:31]in the eyes of faculty shows the most exuberance
[19:35]and love of learning because my dad was nothing
[19:37]if not exuberant.
[19:38]He was really one of a kind.
[19:40]So if anybody would like to contribute to this,
[19:43]if you go to my homepage on my website,
[19:45]which is julikwind.com,
[19:46]just scroll down to the bottom.
[19:47]There's information on it.
[19:49]But we are forming this scholarship
[19:51]to just continue his love of education.
[19:54]And that's been something which has been very healing for me too.
[20:00]work on something positive within something of such loss.
[20:04]I was so sorry to hear that story.
[20:06]I'm just, my heart breaks when I heard it.
[20:10]And I love that you have found a way to make meaning of it
[20:13]because there's not much else you can do with loss, right?
[20:16]Aside from just like get up every day
[20:17]and then like try to find something to ground you
[20:20]in the chaos of it, I guess.
[20:23]You know, you start to realize that so many of these
[20:26]sayings and aphorisms become that way for reason.
[20:30]Everyone's like, you know, the only way out is through.
[20:32]And you know, it seems trite,
[20:34]but it's trite because it's true.
[20:37]You have to just get up each day and I tell people,
[20:41]I'm not, I'm not in denial and I'm not in disbelief.
[20:45]I'm in the bewilderment stage of grief.
[20:47]I think, and I don't know why nobody writes
[20:49]about the bewilderment stage of grief,
[20:51]but that's what it is.
[20:52]It's not, it's not any of the things that, you know,
[20:55]which we have Elizabeth Coobleross said.
[20:58]It's, I'm just sort of, it's not like, I believe it.
[21:00]I just still don't understand it.
[21:01]It's like, how did this happen?
[21:03]How, you know, in y'all's and you're like,
[21:05]how does somebody die in an instant?
[21:07]I don't, I don't know.
[21:09]And I just, yeah, I mean, it's one of those things
[21:12]where you just like, I don't even know what to say about it.
[21:16]It's just heartbreaking, really.
[21:18]I had this moment.
[21:19]I lost my best friend on 9-11
[21:21]and I was going through all her stuff.
[21:22]She was my roommate in college and after college.
[21:25]And I had this moment in her basement of her parents home
[21:28]as we were unpacking all the clothes
[21:30]that we had first packed up from her house.
[21:31]And then eventually they asked me to go down
[21:33]and deal with all the clothes
[21:34]because they can go down there.
[21:35]And I remember just like sitting in the basement
[21:36]on my knees one day and pulling out the sweater
[21:38]and there was this like one long strand of her hair.
[21:41]And I was just like, how, how is this the only thing left?
[21:45]How, how can this be?
[21:47]I don't understand.
[21:48]It's like too much for our brains, I don't know.
[21:50]Anyway, so I totally understand bewilderment.
[21:53]It's like confusion and all of that.
[21:55]And anyway, I'm so sorry for your loss.
[21:57]And thank you.
[21:58]I, you know, I've reached the point now
[22:00]where I can talk about it.
[22:01]Obviously I'm talking about it now, but it's hard.
[22:05]And so I guess, you know, if there's any, you know,
[22:07]since I suddenly have this way to talk to so many people
[22:09]through you, I guess just to say, you know,
[22:11]everybody who's going through some kind of losses
[22:14]behind to yourself.
[22:15]And you know, and I'm learning that your brain does
[22:18]what it needs to do to help you through your grief.
[22:21]And like for me, my brain seems to be sequencing the grief.
[22:25]You know, having lost two people at once,
[22:27]it's my brain's working on grieving my father
[22:30]more than my sister.
[22:31]And that will come, you know, and, and, but I refuse
[22:34]to feel guilty about the fact that, you know,
[22:38]my grieving is more focused on one of the two people
[22:41]right now.
[22:42]It doesn't mean I didn't love the other one.
[22:44]It just means that my brain is protecting me and saying,
[22:46]look, this, this is how you're going to get through this
[22:48]without hurting more than you can handle.
[22:51]Yeah, the brain does kick in.
[22:53]I have this trauma therapist.
[22:54]I know, well, who's writing a book for Zebay books.
[22:56]And she's always citing all these statistics and saying,
[22:59]like, no, that is your brain's defense.
[23:02]Like, that is what happens.
[23:03]That is what happens in trauma.
[23:05]And you will get through that.
[23:06]Anyway, her name's Megan.
[23:07]We aren't in Jarvis.
[23:08]She's amazing.
[23:08]And anyway, she's taught me so much about what the brain
[23:11]actually does that I kind of wish I had known.
[23:13]They should teach that in school,
[23:14]because like the one thing everyone's going to experience
[23:16]is loss, right?
[23:17]We're not all going to need chemistry or, you know,
[23:20]I also took evolutionary biology, found it fascinating.
[23:22]But like, it has not served me well.
[23:24]Let me just say, I did it in life.
[23:26]If I had taken a class and like,
[23:28]not that there's anything you can really learn,
[23:29]because you have to go through it.
[23:30]Everybody is so unique and how they experience loss.
[23:32]But yes, well, I, you know, I think there's a class now.
[23:36]I thought I read there's a class at Yale now,
[23:37]which is the most popular class on campus about something
[23:40]about happiness.
[23:41]Okay. Yeah, I think there was some positive psychology stuff.
[23:45]I don't know.
[23:46]I have to look it up.
[23:47]I, of course, like I bring it up
[23:49]and can remember nothing more about it,
[23:50]except that it was like, it was offered
[23:53]and like everybody wanted to take it
[23:55]because it was just something about,
[23:57]yeah, this is the typical, like, you know,
[24:00]I have like a jeopardy knowledge of everything.
[24:02]Like I could answer a question on Jeopardy,
[24:03]but not go any deeper into anything.
[24:05]So that's pretty much my level.
[24:07]And I saw you were like some crazy winner
[24:09]on the weakest link.
[24:09]Oh, I was, I was, that was amazing.
[24:13]Okay, we're getting back to happier things.
[24:15]Yeah, that was one of life's most surreal
[24:18]and fabulous moments is, yes, I won on the weakest link.
[24:22]That's so cool.
[24:23]That's not a fantasy.
[24:24]It's being on one of those shows.
[24:25]And I can't believe, and you just nailed it.
[24:27]That's amazing.
[24:28]Yeah, and the funny thing is, you know,
[24:29]it helped me get my mortgage from my first,
[24:32]oh my gosh, they were, I still can't,
[24:36]I mean, actually no, my second house,
[24:38]the one I'm standing in right now,
[24:40]like it was one of those things,
[24:41]like I still can't believe they lent us the money for it.
[24:43]And, you know, later they said to us,
[24:45]they're like, oh my gosh, you guys were like the worst.
[24:48]We use you as a teaching case now,
[24:50]because you had everything, you had student loans,
[24:53]you had the self-employed writer,
[24:55]you had game showers.
[24:57]And they said they felt better about us knowing,
[25:03]because the game show earnings were coming in
[25:04]like a month after we closed on the house.
[25:06]And they're just like, you're using everything for the house.
[25:08]We felt better knowing that, you know,
[25:09]this money was coming in.
[25:11]But yes, so I have the weakest link to bang for mine.
[25:14]Oh my gosh, what a life, crazy.
[25:19]Okay, so aside from getting back to the book world
[25:22]for a minute aside?
[25:23]No, don't say sorry, I find this super interesting.
[25:26]This is like, I mean, there's nothing more interesting
[25:29]than like talking and hearing somebody's story,
[25:31]but just from like a factual thing to close this up
[25:34]or whatever, what do you have?
[25:35]Aside from your graphic novel,
[25:37]which is amazing you're doing,
[25:39]what do you have more, what are the,
[25:41]what's on the book horizon and anything?
[25:43]I've got to figure that out.
[25:45]Okay, you know, I was telling you before we started that,
[25:49]I just got back from Maui,
[25:51]which was wonderful.
[25:52]My husband had a conference there and so I tagged along,
[25:54]which is great, okay.
[25:56]My conferences are never in place of looking at,
[25:59]minoring like Dallas in July.
[26:01]And you know, and I'm not dissing Dallas.
[26:05]I said July, you know, okay.
[26:07]So we were Maui and I thought,
[26:08]I was like, I'm gonna figure out everything
[26:10]about my next book, no, I'm still,
[26:13]I mean, I have some ideas,
[26:14]but I've been taking an extended break to,
[26:17]you know, just there's been a lot of other stuff
[26:19]to do work-wise because of Bridgerton.
[26:21]And then with the pandemic,
[26:23]I really wanted to focus a little bit more
[26:25]in supporting my family,
[26:26]especially since, you know, as I mentioned,
[26:27]my husband is a doctor of infectious diseases.
[26:30]So, you know, we have been hit by this pandemic
[26:33]pretty hard in our family, not through our sickness,
[26:36]but through, you know, the toll
[26:38]that this has taken on our healthcare frontline.
[26:41]You know, he's done, I think,
[26:43]I guess, probably 150 interviews.
[26:45]He's very articulate, he's a very good speaker.
[26:47]And, you know, I think once the local news
[26:49]finds a doctor who can speak very well in front of a camera,
[26:52]they just, they do not let go.
[26:54]And so in fact, he's done so many news stories
[26:56]with this one reporter we love named Tammy Matasa
[26:59]that when he did one for someone else,
[27:00]we're like, you're cheating on Tammy, not fair to Tammy.
[27:05]So, I spent just a lot of time with that
[27:07]and with registered and then of course, you know,
[27:08]this terrible car crash in my family.
[27:11]And so I just really honestly haven't been writing,
[27:15]but I need to get back into it.
[27:17]You don't need to get back into it.
[27:19]And you're doing it.
[27:20]Well, you know, legally I do.
[27:22]Okay, all right.
[27:23]Well, I can't, I have signed some contracts,
[27:26]but you know, I am in a position
[27:28]where I can move at my own pace, which is nice.
[27:32]Well, I think you should write some essays about the grief.
[27:35]If you, I don't know if you write essays or whatever,
[27:38]but if you need a place, I have this mom's
[27:40]and no time to write column, but even just for you.
[27:42]I feel like you need to write about that stuff.
[27:44]Get it out of your mind, go into the page.
[27:46]I don't know.
[27:47]I don't know.
[27:48]We'll see.
[27:49]We'll see.
[27:49]I'm not much of an essay actually.
[27:51]I did write a commencement speech this year.
[27:53]I gave the commencement address at my high school,
[27:56]which was crazy, which I guess is a little bit
[27:59]like writing essays.
[28:00]And that was hard.
[28:01]What part of the world do you go to high school?
[28:04]No, no, I went to boarding school.
[28:06]So this was back at my very rural out of the way
[28:10]of boarding school in Connecticut.
[28:11]And it was actually, it was a wonderful experience
[28:14]to go back and speak.
[28:16]And somebody told me when I was there
[28:20]that they had just gone to a speech
[28:22]and I did better than the governor.
[28:24]So that was nice.
[28:24]They were like, you were way funnier than the governor,
[28:27]but I'm not surprised.
[28:28]I think I was a great deal.
[28:30]I beat the governor.
[28:31]My son is tucked away at the moment
[28:33]in a boarding school at Massachusetts.
[28:34]So I am familiar with that life.
[28:37]Yes.
[28:37]Well, even if not for a publication, it might be helpful.
[28:40]Just thrown it out for things that have helped me in the past.
[28:43]So anyway, that's possible.
[28:44]Where you get tons of advice, but that's my own advice.
[28:48]OK, last question.
[28:50]What advice would you give to aspiring authors?
[28:53]Oh, well, two things really.
[28:55]One is try to find some sort of organization
[28:58]that no supports your work is relevant to your work
[29:02]because there's just a lot of resources out there.
[29:05]There are a lot of resources out there.
[29:07]And I'm not necessarily the best person
[29:09]to ask about that because I sold my first book
[29:12]like right at the dawn of the internet age.
[29:15]So I don't even know how to find the stuff on the internet
[29:18]because I never had to.
[29:19]But there are a lot of great writers groups,
[29:23]writers organizations.
[29:24]And that can help.
[29:26]If your aim is to publish, that can really help you.
[29:29]That these days, a lot of writers do self-publish.
[29:32]And when I was starting out that we kind of poo-pooed that,
[29:34]I mean, it was really vanity publishing then.
[29:36]Nowadays, it's a vibrant, incredible route.
[29:40]I know a lot of authors who self-publish
[29:42]should do amazingly well.
[29:44]And they have a lot of control, and they really like it.
[29:46]So there are organizations and groups
[29:48]that can help you learn about that, too.
[29:50]The other thing I tell people is that if you
[29:53]want to write a book, unfortunately,
[29:55]you have to actually write the book.
[29:58]There isn't another way to do it.
[30:00]I don't know if I could have figured out another way I would trust my would have figured it out you have to sit your button the chair and you have to write it or, or in my case, I'm at my standing desk here, which is actually a treadmill desk.
[30:12]Oh, yes, I love this I go between working my treadmill desk and working at a Starbucks, although I can't really work with the Starbucks right now. So that's why I'm not writing. I can't go to my Starbucks. How often do you actually turn on the treadmill, because I feel like I would just stand on it.
[30:28]Oh, all the time. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, also, because I do this thing a little plug for something else. I do this thing called step bet, which is this great app where you actually bet real money that you're going to make your stepping goal every day.
[30:42]And it's actually I got totally into it and was looking at the company and then realize the guy who runs it lived like one room down from me, my freshman year in college. But yeah, so you put like $40 down and it goes into this pool and then you have to make these step goals every week. And if, you know, you miss one week, you're out, there's no second chances. And then at the end of the six weeks, whatever's left in the pool is divided among the winners. And I'm averaging 20% returns on my money, which is great.
[31:12]You know, it's better than what I'm getting from the bank. And my kids are like mom, you have a gambling problem. Like, okay, it's not a gambling problem if you completely control the outcome.
[31:20]But it's great because I'm just like, you know, no way my in lose $40 because I didn't take, you know, the amount of steps I, you know, so I'll be in there, you know, so I get on my treadmill and as I'm paying the bills.
[31:31]I don't write so much while the treadmills on, but like I take care of everything else, the email, the bills, everything. And I'm walking and you can totally do it.
[31:39]If you can walk and talk on the phone at the same time, you can walk and type on your computer at the same time. I promise you, I have never tried that. I'm inspired to do so now.
[31:50]You should because I mean, I think people think of treadmills like, you know, running. No, you're not running. You're just walking at a normal pace. So it's not you absolutely can do it.
[31:59]And I did all this research on it. I know, I tend to digress a lot as you, as I'm sure you've learned, but there's something called meat, which is non exercise aerobic thermogenesis, which is basically the mood, the aerobic energy, you know, that your body produces or uses whatever not through like formal exercise.
[32:20]It's really really hard. Whatever. And there's been a lot of studies that say that if you can up that it's actually for health benefits, you know, overall is incredible. So, you know, maybe not necessarily for, you know, if you're looking to lose weight or tone, whatever, but for your overall health benefits and life.
[32:35]To add to that is just wonderful. So I've been, I end up walking, you know, five, seven miles a day, some days because I'm over here paying my bills and I'm walking and it's terrific.
[32:46]So I really think I might get this now. I sit up my desk. I'm so like sedentary and I used to be so active.
[32:53]This is great. I have, you know, I'm on like a life span.
[32:57]All right, ready to apply for my website. I believe this is in the FAQ of my website.
[33:04]Okay. I'm sorry. Okay. Let's see now I'm being I'm getting best.
[33:08]Sorry.
[33:09]I'm not going to get through the episode visit my website.
[33:13]No, but I'm not sure they make this model anymore, but all right, I'm going to do it. Maybe that'll be my New Year's resolution.
[33:20]Anyway, I've probably been like way longer than I should on this podcast and you've spent like so much time with me today. And so I feel like I need to let you go back to your dad is okay.
[33:30]I'm truly like I'm in total. I have drunk the Kool-Aid on the treadmill desk. So I will talk about it for ages. Like I want you to get a treadmill desk now because I think it will.
[33:39]I don't want change your life, but it will make you much less sedentary.
[33:44]That would be great. Yeah, that's a problem. I love solutions to problems that you can implement immediately.
[33:50]Again, I forget I'm on a podcast. I feel like one of those like captions saying like image she makes thumbs up.
[33:57]Double thumbs up. Double thumbs up. Julia, thank you. This has been so great. Thank you. I've had the best time and thank you for sharing all that stuff and you know, I'll be thinking.
[34:08]I feel like I have a new friend. I love it.
[34:12]All right. Well, Seattle is on my wish list of places to go because I've accumulated some new friends and one of my teammates works there. And so it's on my wish list for the next year. So I'll let you know if I ever come that way.
[34:23]If you're in New York, let me know. I am I am frequently at least near New York. So yes, I will let you know. All right. Thank you. Have a great day.
[34:31]You too. Bye.
[34:34]Thanks for listening to this episode of moms don't have time to read books. Don't forget to follow me on Instagram at ZB Owens and at moms don't have time to read books.
[34:43]Also sign up for my newsletter at ZB Owens.com and sign up for my virtual book club and meet lots of authors on Zoom every other week.
[34:50]Thanks so much to Steve and Ryan back texture sound for the sound editing. And thank you to morning moon productions for providing this fantastic intro and out trim music.