Laura Nicole Diamond, SHELTER US: A Novel
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[2:30]Lauren Nicole Diamond is the author of Shelter Us, a novel.
[2:33]She's the award-winning author of Not Only Shelter Us, but Dance With Me, a memoir of her
[2:38]grandmother, and the editor of the anthology, Deliver Me, True Confessions of Motherhood.
[2:43]She writes about life, family, and trying to make sense of it all in her blog, Laura
[2:46]and Nicole Diamond.com.
[2:48]And does it work on a memoir and fostering a teenage asylum seeker on the path to citizenship,
[2:54]which also has prompted her own journey to become an asylum lawyer, which we talked about.
[2:59]She and her husband raised their two sons in the small town in a big city where Laura
[3:02]grew up and where her parents and sisters still live that she did leave for various adventures
[3:06]of her own, including to Venice Beach, Spain, and some epic American road trips.
[3:11]She can hardly believe that her nest is almost empty.
[3:14]Welcome, Laura.
[3:15]Thanks so much for coming.
[3:16]And moms don't have time to read books to discuss Shelter Us.
[3:20]Thank you so much for having me.
[3:23]Am I excited?
[3:24]Would you mind telling listeners what this beautiful novel is about?
[3:28]Sure.
[3:29]Well, in the big sense, I'd say it is about longing for meaning and connection.
[3:37]It is about survival and resilience and love and hope.
[3:42]And all those things that sort of grabbed the human heart, and that's certainly what
[3:48]I think was trying to come out of me.
[3:50]The story is about two women, Sarah and Josie and Sarah.
[3:56]She is a former lawyer.
[3:59]Now she's a suburban stay-home mom, and she is grappling with a grief and looking for
[4:04]meaning in those ways that I described.
[4:08]And Josie is a young homeless mother, sort of down on her luck unexpectedly.
[4:13]And the two of them have an encounter, a fender bender in downtown Los Angeles, and Sarah
[4:20]becomes fixated on this young mother and her toddler.
[4:24]And the story is about their burgeoning relationship and how they challenge each other and help
[4:30]each other find some kind of healing, I think.
[4:32]Well, I feel like there was so much healing to be done for Sarah.
[4:36]I mean, the novel begins with her, with the loss of her infant daughter, which she wrote
[4:42]in such, I mean, it was like my whole mood changed when I read it.
[4:48]I mean, it's like very immersive and poignant and you just like the guilt that she feels
[4:54]because she finally got her two kids to go to sleep in their own room.
[4:58]And then that her daughter doesn't make it through the night and then the grief can't
[5:00]be feeling it.
[5:01]Oh my gosh.
[5:02]And then her all of her grief from losing her mother so young, I mean, this is a lot.
[5:06]It's a lot in her shoulders.
[5:08]Yeah.
[5:09]And I kind of wanted to front load it so that we know at the beginning what we're dealing
[5:12]with as she's moving, you know, trying to cope with being present for the two children
[5:19]that she has and for herself and for her husband and just how overwhelming it all feels.
[5:26]And then this young woman comes in and just it like pulls her out of herself in some way.
[5:32]You know, part of it is I thought I, when I started writing it, what I knew was I had
[5:37]these two women I wanted to write about.
[5:39]I did not know how they were going to meet.
[5:42]I, when I started writing it, Sarah had not suffered that loss.
[5:46]Like that came up as I was writing because I was kind of trying to figure out what would
[5:51]make somebody do this.
[5:54]Why is she so, you know, willing to go back, you know, search for this young woman.
[6:00]She saw what what's causing this fixation and what it's kind of one of the questions
[6:05]that comes up.
[6:06]I think that's just in a bigger sense in the world like what does make people sometimes
[6:11]act out of character or to to breach their safe bubble or comfort their small world to
[6:19]do something really that seems extraordinary, but to her seems so compelling.
[6:24]It was like the only thing she could do.
[6:26]So yes, so it does it does start with that with that heaviness, but it was I think what
[6:32]it came out of was just sort of this parenting fear.
[6:35]I never had that particular loss.
[6:38]I was very lucky.
[6:39]I have two sons and they definitely were a lot of the inspiration for Oliver and Izzy in
[6:46]the book and I stole some from them, but that that fear that that sort that you don't
[6:54]get warned about when before you become a parent, at least I didn't.
[6:58]And I hope it's universal because it hit me, but I mean, I hope it's universal, but I
[7:04]believe it is this once that that switch is flipped and you're taking care of another life,
[7:12]you see danger everywhere, you know, and there's the there's the whole maternal
[7:17]safety industrial complex that's selling you all the things to keep your toilet seat closed
[7:22]and your electric sockets plugged so that you are always aware that, you know, there's
[7:28]danger everywhere and you've got to keep this this precious thing safe.
[7:32]So that part of the story came out of those feelings as a mother that I think that I think
[7:38]all mothers feel, which is just, you know, oh my God, my heart is now walking out in the
[7:44]world outside of me and I cannot control everything as much as I want to.
[7:51]Yeah, it's complicated too because as a mother, you actually are in charge of making sure
[7:56]they are okay.
[7:57]I mean, it's not like I feel like I am, but really I'm not, but for a while, they are
[8:01]completely dependent on you and it is your job to make sure they're okay.
[8:05]And obviously things happen beyond your control, like the same book and, you know,
[8:09]seeds and all sorts of things that you can't control, but it's like, you know, you do actually
[8:17]have to do it, you know, that is the mantle you have to, and so how do you recover from that?
[8:21]And how do you transition to like, oh no, they're okay by themselves.
[8:25]Because I don't think I was going to say it's not listening up quite yet for me.
[8:30]No, my, my boys are now 21 and 17 and that means they drive and, you know,
[8:39]they're 21 year old lives in another state and college and, yeah, they're, they're different
[8:45]kind of coping mechanisms that most of the time we use to not think about the worst things,
[8:49]but that also kind of helps inform, you know, the joy and the appreciation for the day,
[8:56]like this day is a gift because we do not know what's going to happen.
[9:00]So I'm going to hug you despite your tantrumming at me or whatever it might be.
[9:07]Sure. Oh my gosh. So Laura, how did you get into writing?
[9:12]Tell me your life story. Where did you grow up? Like, where did we get here?
[9:15]Yeah, the brief version. Yeah, I never envisioned being a novelist or professional writer.
[9:23]I was almost always, you know, since my childhood, a journal keeper, a diary keeper,
[9:30]and I remember my first Hello Kitty diary that my mom got me was, you know,
[9:35]the fact that it was Hello Kitty was the main draw, but then writing in it just, you know,
[9:39]it carried me through, you know, through high school and trauma and all the bad poems about the,
[9:46]you know, heartbreak and, you know, I went to law school because I was really interested in being
[9:52]like a public rights public interest civil rights lawyer and it carried me through that too,
[9:57]keeping a journal kept my-
[10:00]humanity going while I was reading about contracts and torts and you know it allowed me to keep
[10:05]in touch with that. I don't know just to observe in fact there was a scene in shelter us that
[10:11]came from just a small moment that I remember writing about it. I was in Berkeley and I was
[10:16]walking on the sidewalk and behind this old couple that was holding hands as they
[10:22]went down the curb ever so tenderly and gently to make sure you know they made it and
[10:29]I wrote about that in my journal and I think writing a journal it's like doing scales in a way
[10:35]it keeps you noticing things it keeps you alive to details. I when my first son was about two and a half
[10:43]I was practicing law I'd gone part-time and even that was not working for me so I decided after a
[10:49]lot of took a long time to to let go of it but I decided you know what I'm gonna I'm gonna press
[10:54]pause on this law stuff I'm I just want to be home with him I'm so surprised by this I didn't expect
[11:00]that but I want to be home and the moment I made that decision it was like I have more time to write
[11:08]and it was still just journal that became sort of personal narrative and I took a class right before
[11:15]my second son was born and at when he was napping finally I myself published an anthology about
[11:22]you know motherhood and and one day when I was writing one of those sort of you know personal
[11:27]story I started making things up and it was I remember it was like about a day at the beach or
[11:34]some moment we'd had but I started writing about this woman in the third person and she started
[11:40]doing things that I hadn't done and for a little while I followed that and soon enough I decided
[11:47]you know what I'm writing a novel because I want to explore some of these things that I have not been
[11:52]through you know my life's kind of dull and and I want to be able to you know to say some other
[11:59]things and explore this grief and explore this connection with these two characters and and I announced
[12:05]to everybody that I knew I'm writing a novel so that I would hold myself to it and not stop
[12:12]because I knew it'd be too embarrassed if I if I never finished it and it it took a long time
[12:17]my announcement of the year of the novel was 2008 and it was published in 2015 so it is what
[12:27]it is you know you just you keep going until until you're until it's ready and I felt that it
[12:34]was ready so that was that was that was my that's my story that's my writing journey and what
[12:42]and then how did you get it so you also do the palisades book club or for the library right right
[12:47]right right I live in a town in Los Angeles called Pacific Palisades and it is where I grew up
[12:55]I did not expect to end up here I don't know people I did leave I did not just stay put for
[13:02]for the whole time oh I feel about New York I'm like I did escape for a while but you know here
[13:06]right right yeah yeah you know you want to make sure you've seen the world a little bit yeah so
[13:12]to my surprise I ended up living back in my hometown which is a wonderful place it has its you
[13:19]know it has its ups and downs as pros and cons which I'm writing about in a memoir right now
[13:24]no way oh my gosh wait tell me about the memoir this is very this is weird life is very strange
[13:32]and I so the memoir is almost a case of life imitating art because after I wrote this book
[13:39]where Sarah who is she's her mother's Guatemalan her father is Jewish her grandmother came from
[13:47]Guatemala you know it's an 18 year old pregnant and she's the grandma the character I love anyway so
[13:53]and then Sarah spends all this emotional energy trying to decide how to help this young woman
[13:59]who needs a place to live and what should she do should she bring her in her home no that's crazy
[14:03]that would never work all of that after it was contracted to be published but before it came out
[14:10]I got an email from my mother that was forwarded like twice from a friend of a friend and it said
[14:17]the initial writer was an immigration lawyer for a pro bono like nonprofit in Los Angeles and she said
[14:25]I have a client a teenage girl from Guatemala she is you know this wonderful person she's she's
[14:32]seeking asylum because and she had to leave home her parent sent her to the United States because
[14:38]of horrible things that happened to her back in Guatemala and what she really needs is a place to live
[14:44]and I'm just I've never done this before the email said but she's you know she's special and
[14:49]we're just wondering if maybe there's someone out there who has time in their life now to foster
[14:54]her for a year or so and I was reading this email thinking that's crazy what crazy
[15:03]and I I showed it to my husband like without saying a word because I just wanted him to have the you
[15:09]know a reaction devoid of my influence and we ended up you know we were not looking to do that we
[15:16]were not looking to be foster parents to a traumatized teenager from Guatemala but I could not get
[15:22]this idea out of my head that what if I were born in that country and not here and what if I was
[15:29]that mom and I had to send my son across the world all I could think about was God maybe just
[15:36]please let there be some mother over there who will find him and say I've got him like I could see
[15:43]the silhouette of a woman like and so we couldn't delete it we just couldn't like forward it and
[15:50]delete it but we we didn't know what to do so we replied to the an original attorney sending it
[15:56]maybe maybe we can help and two months later Maria moved into our oh my gosh and yeah so she you know
[16:05]it was one of those things like I learned about the power of maybe you know you take one step
[16:11]and you take another and then there you are and so so the memoir really explores her journey
[16:21]and our journey with her as a family and it explores some of you know some of the same themes
[16:28]and frankly as the novel with survival and resilience and love and you know just I was I wanted to
[16:37]write about her because I'm just such a fan she ended up living with us for five and a half years
[16:44]until she was ready to you know spread her wings and meet her parents she's not been able to
[16:50]go back to Guatemala to see them and they're not able to come here so for her it's been almost
[16:56]eight years since she's you know she got asylum she became a legal permanent resident which is
[17:03]a green cardholder and she is now eligible to become a citizen and she's just waiting in line
[17:09]oh my gosh yeah so once she's a citizen she will be able to safely go back with end and return
[17:17]that's the risk is to say you know if you go back to the country that you say was not safe for you
[17:22]then that could jeopardize your status so she's got you know a lot of longing there too
[17:29]but she you know she changed all of our lives in fact I went back to La part time doing asylum
[17:34]which I'd never done before and you know it's it's amazing what she you know what she brought to
[17:42]us so there you go now you don't have to read the book
[17:48]okay she did because it's really great yeah you know I wanted to do I wanted to
[17:54]open shelter us and with with this memoir I think this instinct this inclination you have
[17:58]like when you know somebody so special and they are portrayed in media as numbers or statistics
[18:06]you feel like maybe storytelling is a way to humanize that that's just like it is yes
[18:13]I mean I feel like people just that's how we process information through story
[18:18]through data and numbers and right messages and all of that right let me tell you about this
[18:24]person I know and and that's where Josie came from too also the the character in shelter
[18:30]us who is the homeless mother I had been volunteering with a homelessness organization here in LA
[18:38]that focused exclusively on homeless families and so and and by that they ultimately that
[18:44]really ended up meaning young mothers and children girls who had grown up in foster care didn't
[18:49]have the support networks that once they were out they didn't you know have a couch to land on
[18:54]if things didn't go well you know if they didn't get that first job right after high school or
[18:59]couldn't but this by the time I met them they were moving they were already formerly homeless
[19:04]they were they were moving into apartments they they were having job training and counseling
[19:10]with this organization and so we spent time just you know getting to know them and helping them move
[19:15]in and they you know so one of the young women especially you know I was 10 years older than her
[19:20]but we had kids the same age and we were talking about what do you do when you're 14 month old
[19:24]you know throws the sippy cap on the floor and yeah that's really hard and I just thought
[19:30]these women are so resilient so resourceful and they're not really the the story of homelessness
[19:37]and I think people should know about you know this is another another side of homelessness too
[19:44]people just people yeah it's true there was this really powerful memoir that I read by a man
[19:49]who had formerly been homeless in Canada it's like the number one bestseller in Canada or something
[19:55]anyway in our interview and now I'm it'll come to me my brain is working so slowly today this is terrible
[20:00]Oh, Brandon, maybe.
[20:03]Anyway, he said that the number one thing
[20:07]with homeless people is you should always ask them
[20:09]their names because they feel so invisible.
[20:12]And it's just a reminder to them
[20:14]that they are human and they are seen.
[20:16]And right after I did this,
[20:17]this is not that long ago.
[20:19]Maybe two, three, four months I think.
[20:20]Anyway, when I was giving money to a homeless person
[20:25]on my way in New York as someone does, just like stopping.
[20:29]Anyway, so I gave it to this man on the street.
[20:32]And then I stopped and I was like,
[20:34]what's your name?
[20:35]And he told me his name and he looked me in the eye
[20:37]and I was like, okay, and he was like, thanks.
[20:39]Anyway, I was just like, okay.
[20:41]How did that make you feel?
[20:43]It made me feel great.
[20:44]I mean, I felt terrible for him.
[20:46]And I'm like, bye.
[20:47]Now I'm gonna go out to dinner, you know, it's terrible.
[20:48]But you know, there's a connection
[20:50]that you're acknowledging his humanity.
[20:53]Yeah.
[20:54]And it's so easy to just keep walking.
[20:56]Yeah.
[20:57]And you know, nobody's perfect.
[20:59]Nobody knows exactly what to do.
[21:01]And that's sort of, you know, Sarah's always wondering,
[21:03]what should I do?
[21:04]It's the right thing.
[21:05]And she has moments where she, you know,
[21:09]passes homeless people and feels, you know,
[21:12]so it's complicated.
[21:13]And yeah, I think that's important too
[21:16]to sort of to acknowledge that there's,
[21:19]these are big, messy human issues
[21:24]and it's okay to not be perfect
[21:27]and to just try and, you know, try again.
[21:30]Yep.
[21:31]Well, I feel like even in Brentwood,
[21:32]there's like a homeless encampment now,
[21:35]but set up by sending, you know,
[21:37]that whole area.
[21:38]Right.
[21:39]You know, there's a lot of markers.
[21:40]The tragedy is that is right outside
[21:42]the Veterans Administration Building.
[21:44]And those are veterans.
[21:45]Oh, is that what's going on?
[21:47]Okay. Yes.
[21:48]And yeah.
[21:49]That's terrible.
[21:50]Don't get us started on talking about homelessness in LA.
[21:53]We will not have enough time to, you know,
[21:56]but we'll take this up another time.
[21:58]Yeah.
[21:59]Yeah. Well, we'll solve that.
[22:00]We'll solve that in the next hour.
[22:02]It is, it is a really intractable problem.
[22:04]You know, when we, when I was writing shelter us,
[22:08]I had Sarah meet Josie downtown.
[22:12]Mm hmm.
[22:13]And there weren't really people in Pacific Palisades
[22:16]at that time who were homeless on the street that you would see.
[22:19]And that's changed now.
[22:20]If I wrote it now, I would have Sarah walk down the block
[22:24]and have a conversation with Ruby in front of the library.
[22:28]Or, you know, but they're, they're,
[22:30]one of the great things in this I have to tell it in here.
[22:33]There's the, the Pacific Palisades task force on homelessness,
[22:36]which I've not really been a part of.
[22:38]They're just tremendous volunteers and,
[22:41]and they've piloted and modeled a project
[22:44]where they've rather than trying to like,
[22:47]let's clear everybody off.
[22:49]Let's get them on of us.
[22:50]They raised money to hire outreach workers
[22:53]from a Santa Monica agency to engage people
[22:57]and find out, you know, what do you need?
[23:00]Except more than 70 people have been housed.
[23:03]Oh, good.
[23:04]Yeah, it's, it's really fantastic.
[23:07]It's very compassionate.
[23:09]And I think that, you know, people come to it
[23:10]for different reasons.
[23:11]Some people are coming from the, you know,
[23:14]I don't want to see this and I want my kids to see this.
[23:17]Others are coming from, you know,
[23:18]this is a human tragedy.
[23:20]Let's, you know, let's be, you know,
[23:22]the uber compassionate, but everybody's,
[23:25]but, but the end, so, you know,
[23:28]the end goal is the same, you know.
[23:33]What advice would you give to an aspiring author?
[23:36]Well, I give myself this advice all the time
[23:40]and it is things take the time they take.
[23:44]And it is, you know, I'd start out talking,
[23:46]oh my, I felt like my novel is taking so long
[23:49]and now I feel like with my memoir, oh, you know,
[23:52]it's taking so long, like compared to what, you know,
[23:55]it's so easy.
[23:56]That's another bit of advice might be, you know,
[23:58]try not to compare yourself to other people.
[24:01]I do it all the time.
[24:02]Like how does that person write a novel a year?
[24:05]You know, you just have to accept that your pace is your pace
[24:09]and I have this married Oliver poem that which is where
[24:11]that came from, you know, that it's taped to my wall.
[24:15]And, you know, just it's caught.
[24:17]I think it's called don't worry.
[24:19]Things take the time they take, don't worry.
[24:22]And it's a very brief poem that it goes on to just be like,
[24:25]you know, cut yourself a break.
[24:27]Yep. You know, so that would be my advice.
[24:30]Just if you're a writer, you're a writer.
[24:33]You always come back to it, you're a writer.
[24:35]That was actually advice my friend gave me.
[24:38]He's a, I think I still think of her,
[24:41]she's a real writer, you know, I published a novel,
[24:43]but the imposter syndrome is strong.
[24:47]But we were talking about it.
[24:49]What do you think makes your writer?
[24:51]And she said, you know, I think even if you didn't write
[24:53]for a long time, it's just some, if you feel compelled
[24:57]to come back to it, you know, even if you're still
[24:59]that person just writing in the journal
[25:01]because it satisfies your soul or fills you in some way.
[25:06]It's how you engage with the world and process, your emotions
[25:12]and maybe put it right back out to the world,
[25:15]whether that's on, you know, a large stage or not at all.
[25:20]You're a writer if that's how you, that's how you engage
[25:25]with your spirit and others.
[25:28]So, I love that.
[25:31]I learned that you can't, things take the time they take
[25:33]when I was pumping in a, like, trailer bathroom at a wedding.
[25:39]So we're now almost 15 and I was in there
[25:42]and everybody was pounding on the door, like, at this wedding.
[25:45]And I was like, I can't rush 10 minutes.
[25:47]I have to do 10 minutes or I'm not going to be able to survive.
[25:50]And there was like, there's no amount of stress.
[25:53]I couldn't speed up the time.
[25:54]There's like nothing, and I came to this whole new place
[25:57]of acceptance, like, okay, time, it is what it is.
[26:01]Like, I'm so glad you did, because I can just, I can just,
[26:04]this is the picture, the opposite being like, I'm trying, you know,
[26:07]and then I will quickly get off, slow down and stop.
[26:09]Well, I did say, at first, that was me.
[26:12]And then that's when I came to this.
[26:14]Yeah. I was like, no, I, there's nothing I can do.
[26:17]So, anyway, first of many, I think I could do that.
[26:22]I think that with parenting, especially of the young ones,
[26:25]when it's so intense and writing, have a lot in common.
[26:29]And one of those things is that lesson of just,
[26:31]you're just in the moment when you're doing it.
[26:33]You know, it may procrastinate a lot to get to the page,
[26:38]but once you're on it, boy, time can just fall away.
[26:42]And, you know, the same with following a toddler around
[26:47]to make sure they don't, you know, fall in a, in a, a bitch
[26:52]or something, you know, you're just there.
[26:54]And those are some pretty powerful moments.
[26:56]11 bucks.
[26:58]Yes. Laura, thank you.
[26:59]This was so nice.
[27:01]And thank you for the emergent in your book.
[27:03]And the feelings it evoked in me and the sense of place
[27:07]and all of it, you're a really good writer.
[27:09]And it was really a joy to read.
[27:10]So thank you.
[27:11]Thank you so much.
[27:12]I really enjoyed talking to you.
[27:13]And thank you for having me.
[27:15]Reverend, all right.
[27:16]Have to see you soon.
[27:17]Bye-bye.
[27:18]Bye-bye.
[27:20]Thanks for listening to this episode of Moms Don't Have Time
[27:22]to Read Books.
[27:23]Don't forget to follow me on Instagram, at Zebioans
[27:26]and at Moms Don't Have Time to Read Books.
[27:28]Also sign up for my newsletter at zebioans.com
[27:31]And sign up for my virtual book club
[27:33]and meet lots of authors on Zoom every other week.
[27:35]Thanks so much to Steve and Ryan.
[27:37]In fact, texture sound for the sound editing.
[27:39]And thank you to Morning Moon Productions
[27:41]for providing this fantastic intro and now trim music.