Tunde Oyeneyin, SPEAK: Find Your Voice, Trust Your Gut, and Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be
[0:01]Hi, this is Vivi Owens, and you're listening to the award-winning podcast.
[0:05]Moms don't have time to read books, and speaking of books, I have two of my own books
[0:10]coming out this spring and summer.
[0:12]Princess Charming is a picture book which debuts on April 19th, and bookends.
[0:17]A memoir of love, loss, and literature comes out on July 1st, and it is truly a labor of love.
[0:24]I hope you'll pre-order, order, and join me on tour as I go across the country.
[0:28]You can find out more at ziviowens.com, or bookendsmemoir.com, and you can follow me on Instagram
[0:35]at ziviowens, because I always post about everything.
[0:38]Enjoy the show!
[0:41]Tunday, oh you name, is the author of Speak.
[0:44]Find your voice, trust your get, and get from where you are to where you want to be.
[0:49]Peloton instructor, founder of Speak, and newly minted author, Tunday has quickly become
[0:55]a household name over the last few years, developing a global audience who has been moved
[0:59]by her mission to inspire and believe that anything is possible.
[1:03]Her debut memoir, Manifesto Guide to Life, is an empowering look into how she transformed
[1:09]grief, setbacks and flaws into growth, self-confidence, and triumph.
[1:14]Speak, by the way, debuted at number one on Amazon's Movers and Shakers, new releases
[1:18]category, and the very first day it was available for pre-order, and is now available nationwide,
[1:24]so if you follow Tunday on Peloton, or even if you don't, this book is really fantastic.
[1:31]Welcome, thank you so much for coming on mom's time to read books to discuss.
[1:35]Speak, find your voice, trust your get, and get from where you are to where you want
[1:39]to be.
[1:40]Thank you.
[1:41]Thanks so much for having me.
[1:42]I'm so excited to be here.
[1:43]Wow, congratulations.
[1:44]Also, I saw your interview with Brooke Shields last night, and you said that was your first
[1:48]publicity, and I was like, oh my gosh, she's just starting to do this.
[1:51]How fun.
[1:52]Yeah, it was her in person thing.
[1:54]I think I've even done in, I couldn't tell you how long, but yeah, it was the first time
[1:59]that I sat down and talked with or spoke with anyone about the book, so that was Brooke.
[2:03]She had her sections highlighted and marked and was quoted in the passage of the book,
[2:10]and it was surreal to see someone outside of my team, so my publishers and my manager
[2:16]to see someone else read it, and the fact that Brooke Shields knows that I'm alive and
[2:20]and then knows my words, pretty surreal moment for sure.
[2:25]Well, I am not Brooke Shields, but I will tell you I did the same thing and I done so many
[2:31]of these pages.
[2:32]I know I watched.
[2:33]I was like, I did that too, Brooke.
[2:35]What are you talking about?
[2:36]So I don't have a highlighter, but I did have so many sections that resonated in so many
[2:42]ways, so I can quote some sections later if you want.
[2:45]But first of all, why don't you tell listeners, I will have already read your buy with
[2:49]at this point, but why write this memoir?
[2:52]Why now in your career?
[2:54]It's an amazing story.
[2:55]You have had an amazing journey, an amazing life story, so much loss.
[2:58]I could not believe as I kept going through the book.
[3:01]One thing after another, my heart was just breaking for you.
[3:05]Tell me about your decision to write this when you decided and then what it was like even
[3:09]going through the process of writing it.
[3:11]Yeah.
[3:12]I mean, I said in the third grade that I wanted to write a book, so I've known my entire
[3:16]life that I wanted to write a book, and that was before I experienced all the lessons
[3:21]that were coming.
[3:22]I think that it felt like the right time.
[3:27]I knew it was the right time because the last two years has put so many people, so many
[3:33]of us in this space of supreme uncertainty, supreme uncertainty, doubt where we're questioning
[3:43]what's important to us, where we realized truly, even more so how short life is, how
[3:50]we can't predict what's to come.
[3:54]I think the beauty of uncertainty is infinite possibility when you don't know what's next
[3:58]anything can be next, and I think that through my stories of loss and tragedy, all the
[4:05]body image stuff, and how I've moved into the space of joy and resilience.
[4:12]I hope that that meets you, the reader.
[4:15]I hope that it meets you exactly where you are within whatever you're going through.
[4:20]I think that ultimately, as humans, we are more alike than we are different.
[4:23]I think that we're all very, very different, but I think that we are more alike than
[4:26]we are different.
[4:27]I think that we all long for love and hope, and yeah, I hope that my story inspires someone
[4:34]to trust their gut and move from where they are to exactly where they want to be.
[4:41]Well, I mean, you inspired me, so that was good.
[4:44]I mean, after that, I was like, well, could I be a Peloton instructor?
[4:48]No, I'm kidding.
[4:49]But the way you even talk about how you're reaching people, right?
[4:55]Everything is a means to an end, every platform is just a way for you to share what
[5:02]you've learned, which is so profound, because you can't go through all of this without
[5:07]taking something away, and you have a line in the book about how love doesn't really
[5:12]ever go away at morphs into different ways, or you never really lose how you feel about
[5:17]the people who you've lost or something like that.
[5:19]And it's just so resonated with me.
[5:21]I've lost a lot of people too.
[5:23]In fact, I have a memoir coming out this summer, and I'm like, oh, I've got the body
[5:25]of my dishes.
[5:26]I've got like a tribe, got the failure, I've got the laws.
[5:30]I feel like your story is so, there's so many pieces that I know so many people will be
[5:35]able to relate to and feel inspired by.
[5:38]So...
[5:39]Thank you.
[5:40]I wanted to write a book that was...
[5:42]Good.
[5:43]Sorry.
[5:44]I wanted to write a book that was real.
[5:47]I think that, you know, specifically, you just spoke to the body of each stuff.
[5:51]Just now, I think that people see me on this platform as an instructor on this massive
[5:57]platform, I should say, as a person of fitness, a fitness professional.
[6:00]And you think, okay, well, that person just loves their body and their confidence.
[6:06]And it's like, yeah, I'm very confident, and then some days I'm not.
[6:10]And some days I compare myself too.
[6:13]And then sometimes that little gremlin, that little voice of the 15-year-old girl that
[6:18]was overweight, who never made it on a sports team ever, she creeps back in and I hear
[6:24]that voice.
[6:25]And so, yeah, I just wanted to have a book that I wanted to write a book that was real.
[6:32]I loved...
[6:33]I didn't know, obviously, well, not obviously.
[6:35]I didn't know that you had tried to become an instructor and gotten so, so, so close.
[6:41]And then it got rejected.
[6:43]And then got asked again by Cody to come back and try out again and you pulled yourself
[6:48]together and went back after flying out to New York and doing the whole thing, talk about
[6:53]that experience and what you felt like was inside you almost or what made you willing
[6:58]to say, like, okay, I'm going to just do it again.
[7:00]I got this.
[7:01]Like, I'm not going to let the first rejection put, you know, push me down or whatever.
[7:06]I'm going to do it.
[7:07]I'm going to get back up and try again.
[7:09]Yeah.
[7:10]I was at Makeup Artist for 15 years.
[7:12]I was in New York from LA, I was in New York for a cosmetic gig.
[7:18]And while I was there, I tried a cycling class for the first time.
[7:21]I never taken a cycling class, like a studio cycling class.
[7:24]I heard Talia Ripa talking about it all the time.
[7:28]And so, finally, I tried it.
[7:30]After that class, I had, I walked out of class and I had this divine download.
[7:40]I was walking my walk turned to get my skip turned into a hop and then I feel this way
[7:46]if a blue energy come over my body.
[7:50]And within a moment, I knew that I would be cycling for the rest of my life.
[7:55]I knew that I would be teaching it.
[7:57]And I knew that I would be teaching on the world's biggest platform able to impact tens
[8:02]of thousands of millions of people every single day.
[8:05]I didn't know what Peloton was at the time.
[8:07]I'd never heard of it.
[8:09]And I remind you that this was after my very first time.
[8:13]And so, you know, I, in posture syndrome, then, you know, I feel so confident in that.
[8:19]I feel so certain I get back to LA and posture syndrome sets in, who would ever take
[8:24]my class, who would ever find me motivating, who would be inspired by anything I had
[8:29]to say.
[8:30]These are all the things that I told myself.
[8:31]And then I start working at a mom pop shop, Cody Rigsby from Peloton.
[8:35]I know, I now know what Peloton is by this time.
[8:37]DM's me asked me to come on audition.
[8:40]I audition.
[8:42]I finished the audition.
[8:43]He tells me it was the best audition you'd ever seen.
[8:46]And a month goes by.
[8:47]I get an email.
[8:48]I wake up to an email that says we regret to inform you.
[8:51]And so, I didn't get the job.
[8:53]I went through this, like, the space of darkness when it lost very well.
[8:57]I lost my little brother when he was 19, and then three years after that, my dad passed
[9:02]away.
[9:03]And then three years after that, my mom passed away.
[9:05]This got like another loss.
[9:07]Not because something didn't go my way.
[9:08]It felt like another loss because I was so certain about this vision that I trusted that
[9:14]I'd seen.
[9:16]And so, you know, I went, I was just in this space of darkness where just getting up and
[9:19]going to work became more difficult because I thought that I'd seen what I was supposed
[9:26]to be doing or I was going to be doing rather next.
[9:29]Yeah.
[9:30]My life shows the data that I've taken from my life to this moment is that things always
[9:38]work out for me.
[9:40]Things always work out for me.
[9:41]Everything is happening for me and nothing is happening for me and nothing is happening
[9:46]to me.
[9:47]I trusted that if I didn't get the job I wasn't supposed to get the job.
[9:50]I trusted that if I didn't get the job that there was going to be a reason for me not
[9:56]getting the job.
[9:57]I also, in my...
[10:00]got just felt like the relationship wasn't over. I had friends who knew that I was auditioning
[10:06]my sister friends and anytime a Peloton commercial would come on they like change the channel
[10:10]because they were so mad at Peloton. And I just couldn't be mad at Peloton with them because I
[10:13]didn't trust that that relationship was done. And then you know eight months past Cody causing
[10:17]back asking, well, you come up on audition. And I did. And then I obviously, it's no secret,
[10:23]I got to jump a second time around. Oh my gosh. Well, I just love that. I love that
[10:28]sense of perseverance. I mean, that's strong knowledge. I just saw this movie. I don't know if
[10:34]you've seen it. Now I can't even remember what it's called, but it's about Kurt Warner, the
[10:36]football star. And it's the same sort of thing where he had this vision. He knew he was meant to be
[10:42]this football star and everything got in his way. And even watching, you're like, I'm like, I don't
[10:49]think he's going to make it. But then like in the end, you know, he makes it and he becomes like an
[10:53]MVP. And it's so unlikely. I felt like there were so many similarities in the story where you're
[10:57]you're going along with it. And you're like, not that it was as unlikely here, you know, because
[11:01]you could see all the vision and the persistence, you were so close. And he was not close at all.
[11:05]But there's something like deep down where there's like, even no matter what life is telling you,
[11:12]it's like the universe is saying something different than life in front of you. And you have to just
[11:17]believe in that. And I just feel like that came through so strongly in your story. And it's just
[11:23]pretty awesome. I think that so many of us have experiences like my blue light vision. It may not
[11:29]come in the form of a blue light or a hopper skip. But we have these wildly intuitive moments
[11:40]where we're able to connect and hear the information that's trying to be provided or given to us.
[11:51]Think that society, the world life growing up, teaches you to block that intuitive feeling.
[12:00]When I was a kid in kindergarten, I said that I wanted to be a teacher. My dad said,
[12:04]no, you don't. You won't make enough money. So I told myself, okay. The funny joke there is that
[12:10]in the cosmetic world, I was an educator for 15 years. Now I'm a teacher and a coach every
[12:17]single day by virtue of a bike. I felt that thing and it was annoying. I think as children,
[12:23]you're open to receiving and accepting it more. And the life goes on and you get, and I'm saying
[12:27]this in air quotes, you get realistic. I was lucky enough that I saw that vision for what it was.
[12:34]I'm lucky enough that I didn't call it a daydream. I'm lucky enough that I didn't say,
[12:39]oh, I'm just tired and I'm hallucinating. I was in a hot, dark, cycling room. No, I thought for what
[12:45]I believed it. Is that your dog back there? Yes, sorry. She's upside down. She likes to lay out
[12:50]her back. My dog does the upside down thing to help you. I know. I love that you dedicate,
[12:55]you know, in your acknowledgement, you have a whole section. This sees her and it's like you're
[12:59]love for your dog and how you talked about it. You know, at some point, like your dog is going to
[13:04]pass away. I think about that all the time. I'm like, this is what's going to happen. It's like
[13:07]dog. Don't live as long and I remind myself, but yet I still can't seem to think, you know,
[13:13]I'm like, I will not be ready no matter when it happens. You know, one passage of the book I was
[13:21]really struck with too was when you were talking about your friend who was in an abusive relationship
[13:26]and how you had with the Uber driver were outside trying to get her away from her not husband then.
[13:34]But soon to be husband, who had basically was in a rage and gone crazy and you were there trying
[13:39]to help and you tried to help her even after and yet she kept going back to him. She wasn't ready
[13:45]and I felt like that was another really important lesson because no matter all the teaching you do
[13:49]and no matter what you can bring to other people, people have to be ready for that change,
[13:53]whether it's leaving a terrible relationship or committing to exercise or whatever it is that
[13:59]you're trying to impart even how to, you know, do makeup or be ready for that. Tell me about that.
[14:06]And if there were times maybe you didn't feel quite so ready.
[14:10]Well, yeah, I'll start by saying speak the title, speak as an acronym, surrender power,
[14:16]empathy, authenticity, and knowledge. And so as I break down all of the many stories,
[14:23]I relate them to these words as elements and how these words have shown up as elements in my life.
[14:30]And so in that chapter, I'm really talking about the empathy that I had with myself how I was
[14:39]able to then use that lesson to empathize with someone else. And so I was in a relationship that
[14:49]wasn't abusive, but it was destructive, right? Not normal. And so I should have gotten out of my
[14:59]relationship sooner. He had the advice of the friends around me that were telling me what I couldn't
[15:07]see, but I wasn't ready to get out of the relationship or in the relationship until I was ready to
[15:14]end the relationship. So then you fast forward to the story that I talk about my friend
[15:20]in the book. Initially, I couldn't see why she would stay. It wasn't until I truly saw myself
[15:31]in her that I realized why she would stay. And then I learned about myself in that moment too.
[15:40]I took her experiences well and me now being the person around her trying to shake her
[15:50]I took that as a lesson as well. The people around you sometimes see you in a way that you can't
[15:59]see yourself. It's very true. Yeah. So now that this book is coming out and you already referenced
[16:09]in the book, your celebrity, right? That all these people, now when you go on the street, you're
[16:13]rocking your dog or you're fighting with somebody on the phone, you want to like explain it to people
[16:17]like, no, no, this is just what I'm at the phone with. How do you feel about this? I mean,
[16:24]this book will only further catapult your star, if you will. And the private experiences that
[16:31]you're now bringing to the world. How do you feel? Are you ready for that? How are you thinking
[16:38]about that? That's a really great question. I mean, I don't know. I don't know how to answer that
[16:43]in that, you know, anytime that someone, even the fact that you're you're coding moments
[16:47]from the book, I'm like, wow, she read the book. And then I, you know, like I was saying yesterday
[16:51]with Brooke Shields, I'm thinking to myself, she said something about my dad before we started
[16:55]taping. I don't think how did she know that about my dad? And so yeah, it's all happening
[17:00]right now in real life or in real time. I'm finding that out. I'll get back to you in a month.
[17:06]Yeah, I wouldn't have put the information out there. I wouldn't have been so vulnerable in my
[17:11]stories if, if I wasn't okay with going there. My hope is that people were this book and
[17:17]they gifted to a friend. Like you, you see your friend going through something and you pass
[17:22]them this book as encouragement as a guide. And so for me, if that means I'm kind of putting some
[17:28]of my business out there to uplift and move someone through something, then then it's worth
[17:35]definitely. What kind of books do you like to read? I mean, such a self-help sap. I like books or shows
[17:45]or I like books and shows that leave me feeling enriched. Like I like, I say, hmm, I do that a lot
[17:58]when I'm like, moving something through me, hmm, what's food too? But like, I love things that make
[18:10]me think. I love some not necessarily just self-help books, but I love books that challenge something.
[18:16]I thought I love of anything that makes me think about what I've known to be true, maybe a
[18:23]little bit differently or dissect a little bit differently. Yeah. I love that. I actually, right
[18:29]after your book, I read this book, bittersweet, how sorrow and longing make us whole. And I
[18:34]felt like these two together were like a great, you know, they're great compliments. It is more of
[18:40]a self-help book. And there's even a quiz of like, why you like, you know, stories that make you
[18:45]feel and like, oh, wow, that's good. Check it out that I meant to be recommending books on this
[18:52]podcast. But anyway, do you? But yeah, I just felt like it also speaks to what I feel like a
[18:57]so profound in your story. And it's what you learn and what you do with it and how you sort of
[19:02]shed your DNA and become other people as you go through these losses and and how there's such
[19:08]beauty in that as well. I know that sounds hokey perhaps, but it's very, very true. So
[19:15]in terms of your peloton world, do you ever get sick of writing? Do you ever have a day where
[19:23]you're like, I don't want to do this? I'm, you know, I don't want to pick it. I like, I'm, I don't
[19:27]feel good or I want to stay in bed or do you ever like, I always wonder that about instructors?
[19:33]Like, what if they don't feel like we're here? Maybe it's just me because I like never feel like
[19:37]working at these days. But oh, the in short, yes, yeah, of course, they're, I mean, human being,
[19:45]there are days that I didn't want to work out and my job requires me to work out. I'm a human
[19:50]being. There are days that I do not want to go to work just like anybody else does not want to go
[19:55]to work. But at the end, I always,
[20:00]leave a high.
[20:01]Yeah, I won't want to work out
[20:03]whether I'm at home or in front of the camera.
[20:07]And then you do it and you're like,
[20:08]oh, I'm so happy I did that.
[20:09]And you feel so much better.
[20:11]There are days where I don't want to go to work.
[20:13]And I go to work and the class is fun and great
[20:16]or whatever, I sweat, it's good.
[20:19]And then I get home and I read a message in a DM
[20:21]from someone who says that something
[20:24]I said really hit them.
[20:26]And I think it's, I tried to show up the way that I am.
[20:30]And so sometimes when I'm going through whatever it is
[20:32]that I'm going through a story or an experience
[20:37]or a quote or words that I might share on the bike
[20:41]might relate to what I'm going through.
[20:42]And then someone hears that
[20:46]and it meets them where they are.
[20:48]And then you say, okay, well, I'm happy I went today.
[20:51]Yeah, and it's healing.
[20:54]Like when I don't feel good physically, mentally,
[20:58]even more so, it's healing.
[21:00]Move Minnesota and it's healing, that's fun.
[21:03]You know, one of the things I loved
[21:06]is how the ending was not like wrapped up with a bone.
[21:10]You're like, this is where I am in my life today.
[21:12]This is not the end of my story.
[21:14]This is here.
[21:15]There is like, there's so much more to come.
[21:18]And like this might not be settled
[21:19]and that or whatever, but like this is now
[21:22]and like I'm gonna go with it.
[21:23]And I will love that because I just love it.
[21:27]It's, you know, I feel like some books
[21:30]make you feel like they've figured it all out
[21:32]and that's it.
[21:32]And then that leaves the reader almost feeling like,
[21:35]oh, well, okay, I'm closing the book
[21:37]and I still haven't figured it out.
[21:38]Now what?
[21:39]You know, so tell me about the ending
[21:42]and how you thought about that
[21:43]if there was any debate on how to end the book.
[21:46]Well, you know, those stories don't come
[21:50]in chronological order and the intention there was
[21:54]when you meet a friend and you become friends with somebody,
[21:58]you don't sit and tell them your story
[22:00]from start to finish.
[22:01]First, you just start talking.
[22:03]You gain their trust a little,
[22:06]then you gain it more and then you go there.
[22:10]And so the events are all kind of scattered
[22:12]and is it isn't really till we move towards the last chapter
[22:17]that you meet me in real time?
[22:21]And so, yeah, it was more so a matter of just
[22:24]ending me in real time and real time
[22:27]isn't tied up to your point in this perfect bow
[22:31]because there's still so much,
[22:34]I don't think it's just so much to come
[22:35]but there's so much that's just still.
[22:39]There's so much that's still and happening
[22:43]and evolving and changing in real time.
[22:46]So, yeah, I just, I started as a 15 year old girl
[22:52]then quickly I had 20 something and then back to 19
[22:57]and then we ended it at 36 or I am right here right now.
[23:02]If you could go back and talk to your younger brother,
[23:06]is there anything you wish you had said
[23:08]or that you would say today?
[23:09]Like if he was listening in.
[23:11]I love you, I love you, I love you,
[23:17]I love you, I'll miss you, I'm sorry, baby.
[23:23]I would tell him, I'm sorry that his story was so short.
[23:29]So short, I'm sorry too, I'm so.
[23:34]This is so nice.
[23:35]Thank you for sharing all of your stuff with the world
[23:39]and all of your gifts and your desire deep down
[23:43]to make people better, whether it's how they look
[23:46]and feel in the makeup chair or sitting on the bike
[23:50]or reading your words, it's like a very,
[23:54]people probably, it's an angel category of goodness.
[23:58]So anyway, I think it's great to recognize
[24:01]when we see that type of person in our midst
[24:04]and especially when you can put it into such a great book,
[24:07]which was also just a great book for book sake.
[24:09]So, so thank you, thanks for chatting with me.
[24:11]Thank you so much, thanks for taking the time.
[24:14]Thanks everybody, bye bye, best of luck.
[24:17]Thank you, bye bye, thanks so much for taking the time.
[24:20]Bye, bye, bye, good luck, bye bye.
[24:24]Hi, I'm Stevie Owens and you're listening
[24:26]to the award-winning podcast.
[24:27]Moms don't have time to read books.
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