Zibby Owens, BOOKENDS: A Memoir of Love, Loss, and Literature
[0:02]Hi, I'm Zivi Owens, the creator and host of the award-winning podcast that you're listening to right now
[0:07]Thank you so much. Called moms. Don't have time to read books
[0:10]It is a daily podcast
[0:12]365 days a year and each day we talk to an author about all of the things related to their career
[0:18]Their book their life and more in 30 minutes or less because who has time?
[0:22]I am now an author myself
[0:24]Although I wasn't when I started this podcast and you can get my new memoir book ends
[0:29]A memoir of love, loss and literature wherever books are sold starting July 1st and my children's book prints is charming
[0:36]You can learn more about me at Zivi Owens.com
[0:39]But really you're here to learn more about the authors and that is what we're going to do
[0:43]Also, be sure to check out all the other podcasts in the zcast podcast network
[0:49]You can learn more at zcastnetwork.com and definitely check out those shows as well
[0:54]You guys today
[1:00]Friday July 1st book ends a memoir of love, loss and literature
[1:04]Comes out into the world and I am so excited
[1:08]This has been a labor of love on and off for the past 18 years and I am so thankful to every single person
[1:16]listening today or whenever for
[1:19]Listening to this podcast and for all the authors who have come on this podcast because without momstone of time to read books
[1:25]I would never have gotten a book deal or had a platform or any of those things to get my story out there
[1:31]Which has been this sort of compulsion. I have felt for
[1:36]Ever since I lost my friend Stacy on 9-11. I wanted to get parts of this story out and of course
[1:40]So many other things happened along the way and now is the day
[1:43]So I hope you all will get this book and tell me what you think you could email me at zivi at bookends memoir.com
[1:50]And I will read all of your notes after you finish
[1:53]They really make me happy as you may know. It's been an Amazon first reads pick all of June
[1:58]So I've had thousands and thousands of people reading it and giving me feedback before this official release
[2:03]Which has been amazing for this episode best selling author Alison Pataki who's a friend of mine now
[2:09]We met through the podcast
[2:10]But have become friends and she offered to host this episode for me in fact said I have to do it
[2:16]I really want to do it
[2:17]So I was thrilled to be able to say yes, totally. Let's do it
[2:21]So our interview is her interviewing me just a little bit about her
[2:26]So you know although you can go back and listen to my many episodes with her on this podcast
[2:30]But Alison Pataki and I both went to yell
[2:32]She has been a best-selling author of many historical novels including the Traders Wife the accidental Empress
[2:39]CC Empress on her own where the light falls and then most the Queen's Fortune and most recently the Magnificent lives of Marjorie post
[2:48]She also is a children's book author and has written Nellie takes New York and Poppy takes Paris
[2:54]Along with a classmate of hers from Yale and finally the book that really enabled me to get to know her as called beauty in the broken places
[3:01]About what happened when her husband Dave had an a very unexpected stroke while they were on an airplane together
[3:08]She was pregnant with their first child and about what happened to their family after that
[3:13]So I hope you enjoy our conversation
[3:16]Please join in all my book events that I have coming up many in person
[3:20]I'm traveling all over the country to meet people from Seattle and LA and San Francisco to
[3:27]Cape Cod and I don't know everywhere in between Newport
[3:30]So I hope you'll come out and meet me say hi read the book
[3:34]I'm really excited tell some friends about it and if you want to leave an Amazon review
[3:39]That would be amazing because that actually really helps with the sales of the book
[3:43]So okay enough about this and enough self-promotion
[3:46]But again, thank you to all of you. You have made my dream come true by listening to this podcast
[3:51]Author as you've made my dream come true by saying yes
[3:54]So when I asked you to come out as a guest and publicist for pitching the show to me and really everyone involved
[3:59]I can't explain the overwhelming emotion. I feel and having this book come out into the world and I
[4:05]I am just beyond beyond grateful. So thank you to everybody. Thank you. Hi everyone
[4:10]So instead of welcoming someone else today on mom some time to read books
[4:14]I am basically welcoming myself because the amazing Allison Potaki is going to interview me about
[4:21]Bookends which comes out today July 1st and I am so excited and also scared and all the all the things
[4:28]So I'm gonna turn it over to Ali
[4:30]Debbie Owens congratulations. Can we just give you a round of applause?
[4:35]I'm so happy on your book birthday for this
[4:40]Gorgeous important book to make it out into the world book ends. Congratulations
[4:45]Give it give it. Yes, Debbie Owens writer reader mother founder of the amazing award-winning podcast and CEO of Zibi books and
[4:55]book influencer and and the list goes on and on and on but I think it goes without saying that
[5:01]You have interviewed and spoken with a lot of authors and writers over the years
[5:07]I think the exact number is probably like five million or something
[5:12]Around like 1200 or maybe a hundred. I mean you are amazing
[5:16]So now the tables have turned and you are the the writer in the author
[5:21]That is being interviewed and launching this book. It's beautiful memoir. So can we just start with how does it feel?
[5:27]How do you feel? Oh?
[5:29]It is crazy
[5:30]So the book came out as you know on Amazon first reads on June 1st and was free for all prime members then so people started
[5:39]reading it and
[5:41]Writing me and I started getting just all this feedback right away
[5:45]And I have to say it was just ridiculously emotional to have it come out
[5:50]Even as that as a preview and I'm glad it did so I could brace myself for now
[5:54]It's coming out today July 1st
[5:56]But I mean I have worked on this for so long and it's really the culmination of like my entire life in so many ways
[6:03]My personal life and my professional life and now it's all just out there and I'm so proud
[6:10]Because I've tried so hard to do it
[6:13]But also just like I don't know. I feel very exposed right like this is me
[6:19]This is like everything. I've never even told my closest friends some of this stuff and
[6:24]But I'm proud and proud and I'm proud that the response mostly has been really positive
[6:30]So you know, I'm just gonna ride this wave and see what happens
[6:35]Proud as you should be I mean, it's amazing and that the acclaim and buzz is so well deserved and
[6:43]To feed off of that point you just said, you know, you have obviously read your way through life
[6:48]But you've also written your way through life
[6:50]You've been a writer since you were a girl you talk about it publishing articles in magazines and you've written your way
[6:57]Through so many of your life moments and so can you tell us a little bit about the story behind the story of how
[7:03]This book is now out in the world and how your first memoir, you know as a writer is now
[7:09]Going out to readers everywhere. I know as you were talking. I was like, that's true. I haven't writing my way. Maybe I maybe my next memoir should be end-to-paper
[7:19]Yes, I'm kidding. Yes, I write to make sense of the world as so many of us do
[7:24]I was really shy as I talked about in this book and I turned to writing because
[7:28]All my thoughts were kind of trapped in my head and I just could not get them out a lot of the times and
[7:35]Still today if I sit down and write it
[7:37]My feelings get are much clearer when I can type about them and then when I can talk about them and it makes no sense
[7:43]I don't even know why that happens
[7:45]Yeah, are you like that? That's how you process. Yes, absolutely. It just helps you too
[7:50]It's like taking an inventory almost of your thoughts getting an organized. Yeah
[7:56]I definitely have not been stopping to do that enough lately, which is why I'm a mess half the time
[8:00]Now, but yes, I mean writing has really been helpful to me
[8:05]You know, I as you know
[8:06]I had this article come out in
[8:08]1992 from 17 magazine when I wrote this piece which never was supposed to be a piece
[8:12]But I wrote it because I was upset and my mom found it and encouraged me to send it in
[8:17]Which by the way, had she not done? I would not be here today because
[8:21]I don't even I don't even know what inspired her to tell me to send it in. I should actually be interviewing her
[8:26]But then honestly, it was not only the writing of it, but it was the letters that came back
[8:33]To the magazine when it came out and I was like, this is it like this is amazing
[8:38]I like it's really easy for me to share my feelings and write about them and I didn't think that was anything special
[8:44]I just thought everybody sort of dealt with things that way. I'm clearly totally unprepared
[8:48]Oh, here's the I'm showing you this is me, which I really don't even look that different, right? I mean
[8:53]Which is a good sign
[8:55]But getting that connection with people was really sort of so fortifying and
[9:02]Helpful to me then helpful to me now. And so that's why I just kept doing it and why we're here
[9:08]And as you said, this is the culmination of so many things for you as a personal and a professional and a mom and a writer and a reader
[9:16]So I have to read something that somebody said. This is actually a fellow author whom I met in your beautiful salon
[9:23]Linda Loicman who's just a treasure of a human and she read this in the
[9:27]You know early stages and said I'm not normally much of a memoir reader to me
[9:31]It always feels like there's too much spin too much gloss too much hype
[9:36]What kind of person wants to be that honest and it goes on? She says zibi Owens
[9:40]That's who this is a book that only she could write and readers will be drawn to every earnest beautiful inspiring
[9:48]Word, so I mean wow applause
[9:53]Linda we're putting it so well and I love that blurb because it did actually really accurately capture
[10:00]how honest and raw and open you are.
[10:03]And that, I mean, Zippy, that I'm sure took a lot of bravery
[10:07]and a lot of guts.
[10:08]So yeah, that's got to be new.
[10:11]And also how did your loved ones feel,
[10:14]as you said, you're revealing in some ways things
[10:16]that even your best friends don't yet know.
[10:18]So as you unburden that and then put it out into the world,
[10:21]how are you navigating that process?
[10:24]And I've been showing drafts of this to my family
[10:26]all the way through.
[10:27]Yeah.
[10:28]And I've gotten like many corrections from my parents
[10:30]and making sure they were all comfortable with everything.
[10:33]I've definitely cut, I cut about 30,000 words
[10:35]close to the end of stuff.
[10:37]You know, ultimately I didn't even need it as my mom said.
[10:40]You didn't even, I didn't even miss it.
[10:42]So sometimes less is more.
[10:45]I didn't include everything that I could have, right?
[10:49]But I picked and chose really important moments,
[10:51]which encapsulate a lot more.
[10:53]So I think they're all excited for me.
[10:55]And I don't know.
[10:57]We'll find out.
[10:59]Yeah, absolutely.
[11:00]And it feels whole, whatever you cut,
[11:02]I don't know, because I read a later version,
[11:03]but it's a full narrative arc.
[11:05]So well done.
[11:06]You did a beautiful job of selecting how to tell your arc.
[11:09]So there you had many amazing moments in this book,
[11:13]but you had one mic drop moment.
[11:15]And I just need to highlight that for a minute.
[11:19]So you say throughout, you have had incredible joy
[11:23]and blessings in your life, you know, with your children
[11:26]and your career and just your family,
[11:29]but you, oh my gosh, did you have also had incredible loss
[11:34]and grief and trauma?
[11:37]And I think just the extent of the loss and the grief
[11:41]that you've had will probably come as a surprise to many,
[11:45]just because it just seems like the hits keep coming to you.
[11:49]And you say something so beautifully here
[11:52]or you say, I've gone through the depths of grief
[11:55]only to rise up again and again and again,
[11:58]because what choice did I have?
[12:00]My deep understanding that life is short
[12:03]and that I could be next,
[12:04]propels me to follow my heart,
[12:06]stand up for what I believe in
[12:08]and work hard to make a difference while I can.
[12:10]We get to do this only once.
[12:12]Time is ticking.
[12:13]Moms don't have time to waste.
[12:15]Okay, so that gives me the chills when you say that.
[12:19]I dog you're the page,
[12:20]because it says so much about you as a person,
[12:23]I feel like and your mission and the way you live every day.
[12:27]Can you please just talk about that a little more
[12:30]for your listeners and your readers?
[12:32]Thank you.
[12:33]I know.
[12:33]I was like, which, what's the my job of it?
[12:35]You had so many.
[12:36]You had so many students.
[12:37]I dog you're that page page page page.
[12:39]It's beautifully fun.
[12:41]I mean, that really is how I live.
[12:45]You know, this book coming out
[12:46]and even the introductory conversations I've had
[12:49]and podcasts or whatever has made me rethink
[12:53]why it is I live my life the way I do now.
[12:55]So many people have had tragic losses in their lives, right?
[12:59]I didn't lose a parent.
[13:00]I didn't lose a child.
[13:01]I can't even think, you know,
[13:03]but I did lose like my best friend at a time
[13:05]when I was just figuring out who I was
[13:09]and who was like my closest person right then.
[13:13]And I think there's no way to fully understand
[13:18]mortality better than having the person with whom
[13:22]we've spent the most time in the last decade
[13:25]or whatever it was seven years,
[13:27]suddenly literally disappear from the planet without a trace.
[13:30]And I say that, you know,
[13:32]flippantly I don't mean it that way.
[13:34]My best friend Stacy Sanders died
[13:37]in the World Trade Center attacks.
[13:39]And I think from that moment on,
[13:42]it was like, well, not only is death not just like a concept
[13:46]or a thing that's gonna happen so far away,
[13:48]but it can happen so suddenly and so completely
[13:53]that it almost feels like we're not even totally here.
[13:56]You know, if you can just snap your fingers, right?
[13:58]In that moment, she just disappeared.
[14:00]So, and then I had another really close friend pass away
[14:04]and then another close friend and it has made it
[14:07]like there's a huge spotlight on the fact
[14:10]that even though we're, however old we are,
[14:13]we are not guaranteed another day.
[14:15]So I literally live that way every day.
[14:17]I think about it probably way too much,
[14:19]not that I ruminate, but just, you know,
[14:21]I was like getting dressed this morning,
[14:23]looking at how I have to color my hair again.
[14:25]And I was just like, you know, okay, well, you know,
[14:29]and I could barely see the sink, you know,
[14:30]my eyesight's like going quickly
[14:32]and I'm just becoming, you know, I'm 45,
[14:34]but I just feel like this past year or two,
[14:37]I've really noticed aging affecting me more than it has ever.
[14:41]And I'm like, okay, well, all the stuff is sort of happening.
[14:44]Like, I'm, you know, I'm probably just gonna die soon.
[14:47]And that's okay.
[14:48]Like, it's gonna be one of those things
[14:50]where then people will say, oh, she was always talking
[14:52]about dying and now look, she died.
[14:54]I was having this whole meta game.
[14:58]But to say like, I wouldn't be surprised sounds weird,
[15:02]but like I just wouldn't be surprised
[15:03]if I find out that like I'm, but it's fine
[15:06]because I don't regret anything.
[15:07]And I am living each day as best I can,
[15:10]although too stressed and doing too many emails,
[15:13]because we don't get to do this again.
[15:15]And I'm totally aware of that.
[15:18]You know, it's like, it's like I got over some,
[15:21]I can't even, I don't want to compare myself
[15:23]to someone who has survived an illness or anything
[15:25]because I have not been through that.
[15:26]So I don't mean to make assumptions,
[15:28]but I do feel that I've been giving in,
[15:30]given a new chance to live like where everything
[15:34]is crystal clear and the, so, you know,
[15:38]yeah, I do it.
[15:40]Anyway, not just sound cheesy, but I do mean all that.
[15:43]So beautifully putt,
[15:44]because not only do you live every day,
[15:45]but you seem like one of those people and it's rare.
[15:47]I feel like it's rare where you live literally every hour
[15:50]to the fullest.
[15:51]And it's gotta be your just up close intimate knowledge
[15:56]with what it is to lose.
[15:57]So many people that you love and so suddenly
[16:00]in so many cases, if you could say one thing to stay see,
[16:06]what would it be?
[16:06]Like what do you most want to talk about with her?
[16:09]You know, it's so funny because I'm still really close
[16:10]with her family and when the wind book ends came out June 1st,
[16:14]you know, her mom and I on email were going back and forth
[16:16]just like cheering because we're like getting her out
[16:20]into the world again too.
[16:21]You know, her mom's like, go stays.
[16:23]You know, because we feel like, and not that it's all
[16:25]about her, that's one slice of it,
[16:27]but it was one of those defining moments in my life.
[16:31]What would I wanna say to her?
[16:33]Oh my gosh.
[16:34]You know, it turns out that she was such a gift
[16:38]in life and in death, right?
[16:40]The things that she taught me had to live
[16:42]and had to live even more fully without her.
[16:45]You know, she was always trying to pull me out
[16:47]and, you know, get me to like loosen up or have fun
[16:51]and talk and, you know, smile and dance and all this stuff,
[16:55]you know, she was just so full of life
[16:57]and it's taken me a while, but I've gotten there,
[17:01]but it's a lot because of her.
[17:03]Oh, and that spirit of hers, you really capture it.
[17:06]You do it so well when you talk about getting ready
[17:08]and she always looked amazing and had such comfort.
[17:12]Just she seemed like a larger than life woman
[17:15]who is still with you because she is larger than life.
[17:18]Not just me.
[17:19]I mean, she had so many friends that I felt like so honored
[17:22]to be close friend of hers, like she had so many people
[17:27]considered her very, very close friend.
[17:29]It's awesome.
[17:30]She's just that kind of amazing warm person
[17:33]who made everybody feel special.
[17:34]It's a light, a light in the world.
[17:36]Right, yeah, yeah.
[17:37]Amazing.
[17:38]So, yeah, she's so happy for you, you must feel that, right?
[17:41]So, okay, so you share about her, you share about,
[17:47]you know, obviously so many friends and family members
[17:49]and you also, you've made a really sort of,
[17:52]you talk about this in the book,
[17:53]a conscious choice over the years
[17:55]to be an open person who shares a lot on social media.
[17:59]You know, not everything, obviously.
[18:00]And we know social media is, it's curated,
[18:03]but you share about Kyle, your amazing husband,
[18:06]you share about being a mother,
[18:08]you talk about the behind the scenes, you know?
[18:10]And you talk in the book about how you had to make that decision
[18:13]to really let people in so they could know you,
[18:16]the person and that would be beneficial, you know,
[18:20]from the business perspective as well.
[18:22]So can you talk a little bit about social media
[18:25]and, you know, you're a public figure,
[18:27]how do you navigate the personal life
[18:29]and the public life and sort of your thoughts on that?
[18:33]Yeah, public figure.
[18:34]I don't know.
[18:35]Whether you like it or not, you are.
[18:38]I have always felt really comfortable sharing my emotions.
[18:42]I think we all feel a lot of the same stuff,
[18:46]no matter what our circumstances or what the issues
[18:50]themselves are, but I've just always,
[18:52]I don't know why I have felt comfortable sharing it.
[18:55]And maybe it's because I've gotten such positive
[18:57]reception for it because people are always telling me,
[19:00]oh my gosh, like I felt that way too,
[19:02]or you said something I was thinking,
[19:04]I didn't even know, like you made me realize
[19:06]what I was thinking, all that stuff.
[19:07]So I wasn't on social media for a long time
[19:11]and I didn't join until, I don't know,
[19:15]till I started my podcast.
[19:16]I had joined because of Nini's treats,
[19:18]which is the crumb cake company
[19:20]that I helped my in-law start up.
[19:21]So I did the Nini's treats account.
[19:23]So at least I knew what I was doing,
[19:24]but now my sister-in-law stuff, and he does that.
[19:26]I think I started it like maybe 2018,
[19:29]maybe 2017, I have to luck.
[19:31]Anyway, it was all new to me.
[19:32]And it's not like I said, I'm gonna start social media
[19:35]and be totally honest, it's happened over time,
[19:38]and it's just become a tool
[19:40]where I feel like it's how I write every day.
[19:43]And I know it's not that many words,
[19:45]but there are a lot of times where I'm just like,
[19:48]no, no, just hold on, I'm posting,
[19:50]not because I'm posting about an event,
[19:52]but in the way that I used to write,
[19:54]I feel like I used to write more essays,
[19:56]and now I've taken these shortcuts onto Instagram,
[19:58]so sometimes I'm not even writing the whole thing.
[20:00]Well, essay, which is probably not a good thing,
[20:01]but it's so immediate.
[20:03]And the times when I'm most upset,
[20:05]it's also allowed me to reframe it
[20:08]in that like, if I'm really upset about this,
[20:11]I know that people out there
[20:13]have also been through this and are upset about this.
[20:15]So if I just put it out there,
[20:17]I'm gonna feel that back.
[20:18]And it always happens.
[20:20]Whether it's, I'm upset that I've gained weight
[20:22]or I'm upset that,
[20:24]or sometimes I don't even say why I'm upset.
[20:26]I'm just upset about something.
[20:27]And people still respond to me too
[20:29]or whatever.
[20:30]So whether it's something funny or happy,
[20:32]I don't know, there are huge areas of my life.
[20:35]I never talk about many areas, in fact,
[20:38]but it almost doesn't matter
[20:39]because you still know who I am
[20:41]and what I'm thinking and feeling
[20:43]without every single detail.
[20:45]Yeah.
[20:46]So that emotional truth I think can come out.
[20:48]And I don't, you know,
[20:50]it's funny as the day we're talking today
[20:52]is my twins, 15th birthday.
[20:55]And I debated this morning,
[20:57]should I post this picture that I dug up
[20:59]of me the night before I gave birth giant
[21:02]and ridiculously swollen and whatever.
[21:05]And I literally, I thought about it for a second.
[21:06]And I was like, you know, out of respect to the me
[21:09]that would have been horrified
[21:11]with this coming out,
[21:12]I'm not gonna post this
[21:13]because that me would be livid.
[21:15]Oh, so I did not do.
[21:18]And that was readers can read about it in here.
[21:20]The readers can read about it.
[21:21]It's journey with twins and both ends.
[21:23]Amazing.
[21:24]Yeah.
[21:25]And it's pretty, it's probably,
[21:27]like as you said, just a form of creative expression,
[21:29]it's another outlet and another way to engage
[21:31]with your readers.
[21:32]That's great.
[21:33]Well, we all love,
[21:34]we're grateful that you do social media.
[21:36]So keep at it.
[21:37]And one of the things that you do share about a lot,
[21:39]obviously, is your relationship with Kyle.
[21:42]But the story that you go,
[21:44]like when you go more into it in this book,
[21:47]it's an amazing story.
[21:48]And I've had the privilege of meeting Kyle multiple times.
[21:52]You know, I love him and love you guys.
[21:55]But I love how you met.
[21:56]And he, like flat out could care less
[22:00]that you're the customer.
[22:02]He's like, I'm not giving your kids 10 us lessons.
[22:05]I was laughing out loud and how he put it.
[22:07]He was just so direct.
[22:08]And also it's like the moment in the book
[22:11]when you least expect Zippy Owens
[22:14]to like find her love of her life.
[22:16]Because you're like, you describe
[22:17]how you get there and you're crying
[22:19]and your hair's on a boning deal.
[22:20]So I mean, wow, that must have taken you by surprise,
[22:23]this love story.
[22:24]It did.
[22:25]And by the way, that day when I met him,
[22:26]I didn't see him again for like six months after that.
[22:29]So I didn't know that that would be another turning point
[22:32]in my life at all.
[22:33]I was annoyed.
[22:34]I was just like, what the heck?
[22:36]And I guess people can read about it.
[22:38]But basically, you know, I met Kyle related to my,
[22:41]an event I was doing.
[22:42]Well, anyway, you'll just have to read it and find out.
[22:43]He's so good.
[22:44]But yeah, I was like, I still can see myself
[22:47]just standing there in the tennis court.
[22:49]Like, jaw dropped.
[22:50]Like, what is not gonna give me this lesson?
[22:53]Yes, I don't know why I feel like I was not looking
[22:58]for this.
[22:59]For him, I, he just, you know,
[23:03]my mom at one point was like saying to Kyle,
[23:05]she's like, but where did you come from?
[23:07]It's like, you just arrived, like, met him from heaven.
[23:11]Yeah.
[23:11]Amazing.
[23:13]Yeah, but he just like popped on the scene.
[23:15]And I don't mean to sugarcoat either my relationship
[23:18]with him because I'm always saying nice things
[23:20]and we're posting.
[23:21]And I don't want to give anyone the impression
[23:23]like we're not just a regular couple because we are.
[23:25]You know, everything with stresses of daily life
[23:27]and managing the four kids and life, you know,
[23:30]everyone has their moments.
[23:32]But I am just, there is something very energetically
[23:36]like great about the two of us together
[23:40]and makes us both such better people
[23:43]and more creative and like the best version of us.
[23:46]And it's very cool.
[23:47]And now I get to watch him as he like develops his thing
[23:50]and I develop my thing.
[23:51]And it's just so cool.
[23:52]I mean, like, what, six years ago,
[23:54]we were like going to SoulCycle and watching movies.
[23:56]Seriously, it's like ridiculous.
[23:59]It's so good.
[24:00]And it's like one of the best parts
[24:02]of just everyone needs to read the book
[24:03]to hear this amazing love story.
[24:05]So if you had this moment's chance
[24:08]that you have to connect with your readers and your podcast,
[24:10]what is one thing you really want to say to them
[24:13]or like you want them to take away
[24:16]like about this book, about your story?
[24:18]What is something everyone should walk away
[24:20]from this podcast knowing about you
[24:21]and this book and this experience?
[24:25]I guess just that like this is as raw as it gets.
[24:30]This is like you are getting.
[24:32]A lot of people are saying after they read it
[24:34]or people who have been listening to this podcast
[24:36]for a long time, they all come up to me
[24:38]and they're like, I feel like we're friends.
[24:40]Like I feel like I know you so well.
[24:42]And they really do know me so well.
[24:45]And it's a bizarre piece of writing a memoir like this
[24:49]or being so open on social or on here
[24:51]or wherever where it's almost this one-sided friendship
[24:55]that is happening.
[24:56]I don't know them yet, but they know me.
[24:58]And I've of course had this with lots of authors myself
[25:01]on the reading side and it is a bizarre thing.
[25:04]And I guess what I want to say is like you do know me
[25:06]and even though I don't know all of you personally yet,
[25:11]those of you out there who are like,
[25:12]oh my gosh, we would totally be friends.
[25:13]We probably wouldn't be friends.
[25:15]Yeah.
[25:16]Like we would have fun going out to coffee
[25:18]and this whole experience has taught me
[25:21]that my people are all over the place.
[25:25]Like it's another world-shifting thing
[25:29]that has happened with the podcast and everything else
[25:31]that you are not in a world that revolves around
[25:35]where you live or where your kids get a school
[25:37]or all the things you thought were the outer limits.
[25:41]That is just like this tiny little piece.
[25:43]And expanding is actually so easy,
[25:48]especially around books.
[25:50]So you might not live where your people are,
[25:52]which I don't mean to say,
[25:53]I have great amazing friends here too,
[25:55]but meeting this book-loving, tapped-in community,
[26:00]I mean, I was an old soul growing up.
[26:02]I've had a lot of loss.
[26:04]Like I feel like there's so many people
[26:06]who just like get that and have had that
[26:10]and understand it and there's no place necessarily.
[26:15]You know, I want to start like the old souls club.
[26:17]Somebody's probably done that before.
[26:18]I haven't even googled it, I'm sure it's taken,
[26:20]apologies to whoever started it.
[26:22]But yeah, I mean, that's a rambling answer,
[26:24]but I guess just you do know me
[26:26]and you don't know everything about me.
[26:29]And that's because I do have my life and my stuff,
[26:32]but if what I share helps anybody,
[26:36]helps them live with any of my offerings here
[26:39]and this whole little media thing I'm doing,
[26:41]help your, I shouldn't say little.
[26:43]Someone wrote and said, don't keep saying my littleness,
[26:47]your big, your big, you have to stop saying that.
[26:49]But if anything, that makes me feel so good.
[26:53]So yes, and I would say, please leave it at a time.
[26:56]Please leave it at a time.
[26:57]We absolutely, so beautifully said.
[27:01]And as you said about Stacey,
[27:02]I think probably many people feel that way about you
[27:05]where it's just an honor to be in your life
[27:07]and to be your friend.
[27:08]And I know many people feel that way.
[27:10]Speaking of getting to know you,
[27:11]we have like three minutes left.
[27:13]Can we do a quick lightning round?
[27:15]Oh, yeah, sure.
[27:16]Get to know you even a little bit better.
[27:18]Okay, so to be honest,
[27:20]morning person or night owl.
[27:21]Morning, early morning.
[27:23]I feel like that was probably pretty obvious.
[27:25]Sorry, coffee or tea.
[27:27]Coffee.
[27:28]Yes, also probably pretty obvious.
[27:29]Favorite season of the year.
[27:31]Summer.
[27:33]Favorite place in the world.
[27:36]I'm debating between my bed and like an actual place.
[27:42]It's your book for a day.
[27:44]You can pick two.
[27:45]Okay, anywhere on the water and my bed.
[27:48]Oh, great answers.
[27:49]How do you feel about audio once?
[27:52]I love audio books.
[27:52]I love audio books.
[27:53]I recorded my own.
[27:54]Some people can listen to that.
[27:55]Awesome.
[27:56]That's great that it's your voice.
[27:57]Interview that you think about time and time again.
[28:00]I did an interview with a time management expert
[28:04]named Julie Morgenster.
[28:05]And she had this concept of min max mod.
[28:09]Like you can do the minimum maximum or moderate amount
[28:11]for each task that you undertake.
[28:12]And you just have to decide what bucket to put it in.
[28:15]I use that frame of reference all the time.
[28:17]I used it at the birthday party yesterday.
[28:18]I use it often because not every situation
[28:22]calls for the maximum effort.
[28:24]And that is something that I have to keep in mind.
[28:25]So I think about that's the most useful to me
[28:27]in terms of like my parenting life.
[28:29]That's so great.
[28:30]And who do you most want to interview
[28:32]that you have not yet interviewed?
[28:34]Ooh, I'd really like to interview Oprah.
[28:36]I knew you were gonna say that.
[28:38]Yes, I feel like it's gonna happen.
[28:40]You guys are circling each other, right?
[28:42]I don't know.
[28:42]I'm probably circling her.
[28:44]But thank you.
[28:45]You know Oprah listens to your podcast
[28:48]because she loves it.
[28:48]So do not know that.
[28:50]But someone on your magazine is not on her magazine.
[28:53]I heard it over here is this.
[28:55]That's gonna be a good one.
[28:56]Okay, who would play you in a movie?
[28:59]I don't know, but I actually have been mistaken
[29:01]for Sophie a couple up before.
[29:03]That's a good one.
[29:04]I'm not suggesting it, but I'm great.
[29:07]I actually had this really funny story.
[29:09]It takes two seconds.
[29:10]I was at the Four Seasons Restaurant
[29:12]in Midtown Manhattan with my dad having lunch.
[29:15]And I saw Harvey Weinstein walk in.
[29:18]And he starts coming over to the table.
[29:21]And I was like, oh, I guess he's coming to say
[29:22]how do my dad actually?
[29:23]Anyway, he comes over, walks over, looks me in the eye.
[29:26]And like stands, and so I don't know why,
[29:28]but I like stood up because he was like right there
[29:30]like reaching out.
[29:31]And he took both of my hands and his hands.
[29:33]And he was like, Sophia, how are you?
[29:36]Get out of here.
[29:38]Yeah.
[29:39]And I just said, I'm great.
[29:42]How are you?
[29:45]That is amazing.
[29:47]Oh my gosh, that can set somewhere else.
[29:49]And I was like, my dad was like, what is going to go with it?
[29:53]You said you had been mistaken for her,
[29:55]but by Harvey Weinstein, that was like
[29:58]the next level doppelganger.
[30:00]That's amazing. Okay. Well, so obviously we're all so excited about book ends. Yay, we cannot wait for this to be at. Well, we're excited. Can't wait for readers don't have this in every single one of their hands. What are you most excited for? What's happening now that.
[30:15]Oh, one of my most excited for with the book with the book with the book and like your next few days and weeks.
[30:22]I'm excited to meet people who have read it and like want to talk about it or just that personal connection when I'm going on book tour. Yeah. Amazing. Well, congratulations. We're also excited so happy for you. Everybody needs to read this book and give this book to their family and their friends and their loved ones and it's.
[30:41]It's truly so beautiful and such such a beautiful achievements to be so. Thank you for coming from you. This means so much. Thank you so much for reading it early and then offering to do this interview. And I was like, yeah, let's do it. So thank you. That was so big. I begged to do this interview. Are you kidding? It is my honor and my privilege. Thank you for letting me do it. Just so so amazed by you as always. So thank you. This is so nice. Like, congratulations. Thank you so much.
[31:11]Enjoy every minute. Thanks for listening to this episode of moms. Don't have time to read books. Don't forget to follow me on Instagram at zebi Owens and at moms. Don't have time to read books.
[31:22]Also sign up for my newsletter at zebiowens.com and sign up for my virtual book club and meet lots of authors on zoom every other week. Thanks so much to Steve and Ryan.
[31:31]Thanks for the sound editing and thank you to Morning Moon Productions for providing this fantastic intro and out trim music.