Mark Schiff, WHY NOT?: Lessons on Comedy, Courage, and Chutzpah
[0:02]Hi, I'm Zippy Owens and you're listening to moms don't have time to read books.
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[1:03]Mark Irwin Schiff is the author of Why Not, Lessons on Comedy Courage in Hutzbah.
[1:08]Mark is a stand of comedian who has headlined a comedy club nationwide, including all the major
[1:12]casinos in Las Vegas and Atlantic City.
[1:14]He has toured worldwide with Jerry Seinfeld for 15 years.
[1:18]Mark has had specials on HBO and Showtime, appeared multiple times on the tonight shows
[1:22]during Johnny Carson and late night with David Letterman.
[1:25]He's featured in Seinfeld's Netflix special, Jerry Before Seinfeld, and live from the
[1:30]the left factory with dumb e-rare round and has been the featured act at the Montreal
[1:34]just for left comedy festival.
[1:36]He is the co-editor of I Killed, True Stories of the Road from America's Top Comics, co-authored
[1:42]the playwright married people with Steve Shaffer, which played two sold out audiences in Los
[1:46]Angeles in 2019 and the comic, which ran in Los Angeles for 10 months as well as the
[1:51]Aspen Comedy Festival.
[1:53]A regular contributor to LA's Jewish journal and the host of the podcast You Don't Know
[1:57]Shift, Mark lives in Los Angeles with his first wife, fifth dog, and photos of his
[2:02]three sons who have all moved out have good jobs and yet still managed to call and ask
[2:06]for money.
[2:07]Welcome, Mark.
[2:08]Thanks so much for coming.
[2:09]Moms don't have time to read books to discuss why not lessons on comedy, courage, and
[2:13]hutzpah.
[2:14]That's right.
[2:15]Thank you.
[2:16]Thank you.
[2:17]She'll be for having me.
[2:18]It's my pleasure.
[2:19]And I would say your bookstore in Los Angeles, I did an event there, and it's a wonderful
[2:23]bookstore.
[2:24]It's almost like, I don't know why I thought it's like a home library.
[2:29]It's very comfortable.
[2:30]You know, it's small and you know, it's got rows of books and it's just sweet.
[2:36]It's a sweet storm and a beautiful neighborhood and we had a beautiful event there.
[2:40]Oh my gosh.
[2:41]Who were you with?
[2:42]Who were you in conversation with?
[2:45]Well Wayne Fetterman, another comedian like myself, he wrote a book about the history of
[2:50]a stand-up comedy and we both together did an event a year's storm.
[2:54]That's so great.
[2:55]I'm sorry I wasn't there, but it sounds amazing.
[2:57]It's my second favorite storm.
[2:59]My first favorite storm is the strand.
[3:01]Wow.
[3:02]Just after the strand.
[3:03]That's amazing.
[3:04]I'm totally honored.
[3:05]It's amazing.
[3:06]I love this.
[3:07]I love this, though.
[3:08]Well, actually, it looks just like my house.
[3:10]I have the same contractor and it's like, I wanted it to feel just like another room
[3:15]in my house.
[3:16]It just happens to not be in my house.
[3:17]So, yeah.
[3:18]Anyway.
[3:19]That's what I said.
[3:20]Well, thank you for going there and doing it.
[3:23]We've just started live streaming all of our events because I keep missing them because
[3:26]I'm in New York.
[3:27]So now every time there's one and it's perfect because my kids will just fall in a
[3:31]sleep.
[3:32]I put it on my phone or I put it up on the TV from YouTube and I can feel like I'm there.
[3:35]So next time I won't miss events like yours.
[3:38]Anyway, but back to you and your book, which I really loved and I will definitely not
[3:43]ask you how old you are, I have having read it and I was like, I wonder how old he's
[3:46]going to look.
[3:48]But anyway, why don't you tell listeners a little bit more about your book and even why
[3:51]you decided and I know you explain why in the book, but why you decided to even make
[3:56]this a book and when you started writing your columns and all of that.
[3:59]Right.
[4:00]So it started a long time ago.
[4:02]I got a phone call.
[4:03]I didn't start out to write the book and I've heard this a lot on your show.
[4:07]I've listened to you to podcast and a lot of writers, they don't start out to do it
[4:11]in an over sign.
[4:12]A miracle happens and they have a book.
[4:14]So that's kind of what happened with me.
[4:16]I got a phone call from the Jewish Journal in Los Angeles from the editor and I had to
[4:20]stand up comedy and he loves my stand up comedy.
[4:22]Things like I said, Mark, why don't you write something for us?
[4:26]And I thought about it for a minute and I said, why not?
[4:30]And I wrote it and he liked it and he said, you know, this is pretty good and people
[4:34]seem to like it.
[4:35]Why don't you write something else?
[4:36]So I wrote, I said, why not?
[4:39]And I wrote it and those two words, why not is one of the reasons the book is here now?
[4:45]Because the book is called, why not?
[4:47]So if I had said to the guy, David Swieces his name, he's the editor of the Jewish Journal.
[4:53]I said, no, thanks.
[4:55]That book would not be here now.
[4:58]And two words can change your life.
[4:59]When you get married and you say, I do, your life has changed and you know, and you don't
[5:04]know what's going to happen when you say certain words.
[5:06]But if you throw yourself into life, things happen.
[5:09]So I kept writing and writing and writing and I had about 40 essays and the guy was great.
[5:15]He gave me a page and a paper any time I wanted.
[5:18]Can you imagine this?
[5:19]If you're a writer and you have an opportunity, it's mind boggling.
[5:23]And then COVID hit, so on my COVID vacation, about two and a half year vacation, I decided
[5:30]not to eat and get fat and not to watch television.
[5:35]And I looked at this and I said, you know, maybe there's a book here.
[5:39]I got 40 of these and I just kept writing and writing.
[5:45]Finally, I, there's an agent in New York's name is Murray Weiss and I knew him.
[5:49]I had written a play.
[5:50]He tried to get my play off the ground, didn't happen.
[5:52]But I said, Murray, I think I wrote a book and he said, I said, would you like to read
[5:57]it?
[5:58]And you know what he said?
[5:59]Why not?
[6:00]And I sent it to him.
[6:01]I'm sure it's exactly what happened.
[6:03]It's so perfect.
[6:04]Yeah.
[6:05]I sent it to him and he read it and he said, you know, I think you have a book here.
[6:08]Would you like me to help you put it together?
[6:11]And you know what I said?
[6:13]Why not?
[6:14]That's exactly it.
[6:15]So when he make a long story short, he mentored me, he helped me do this.
[6:19]And we put it together and then he said, I want to start sending it out.
[6:23]Would you like me to send it out?
[6:25]Why not?
[6:26]And he sent it out 37 rejections in a row, beautiful emails back.
[6:32]They like my work, but you're not, they didn't have a comment here on work.
[6:36]They said, you're not the type of guy we're looking, we want this to younger and whatever.
[6:41]So finally, a public publisher stepped up and they said, we like it and we'd like to
[6:47]have a Zoom meeting with Mark.
[6:49]Would he like to meet with us?
[6:50]Why not?
[6:52]And we met and they, we talked and we longed like each other and they said they wanted
[6:57]to publish it and I said, go ahead.
[7:01]And that's it, the book is here.
[7:04]But then, you know, when you write something, you never realize what you're really writing
[7:07]it for sometimes.
[7:09]And really what this book is, it's a footprint of my life for my children.
[7:14]I got three boys and you've got your family, a nice sized family, they didn't know
[7:21]much about my life.
[7:22]You know, kids, they grow up and, you know, and the great kids and they're all, but
[7:27]they didn't know a lot.
[7:29]And a lot of this I wrote so they would know about where I came from.
[7:34]And the book will have a lot more value to them after I'm gone in many ways.
[7:39]They read it now, they like it, but when they really look back after that, they don't
[7:44]know what I was about.
[7:46]So that's kind of the overview of the book.
[7:49]That's so nice.
[7:50]I know I wrote a memoir and I'm like, I can't get my kids to read it.
[7:54]It's impossible.
[7:55]I'm right, it's absolutely, it's crazy, right?
[7:57]I know, like it's my life story, like whatever, you know, let me go back to YouTube.
[8:02]Like, okay, that's how interesting I am to you, but fine, whatever, but you'll be, you'll
[8:06]be happy later.
[8:07]And I wrote all about them in the book, although one of my sons, my middle son, he thinks
[8:11]I wrote less about him than the other one.
[8:14]So we have this whole controversy with him.
[8:17]So I just recently had to write something just about him to make him happy.
[8:21]He just can't win.
[8:24]Parenting is the thing.
[8:26]But one of the parts of your book that I was so moved by and inspired by and just really
[8:32]resonated was you're talking about your body and your weight and trying to keep this
[8:37]weight off and the 50 pounds that you lost and how every day you wake up and it's a struggle.
[8:41]I have been sort of struggling with my weight forever and have not gotten to the like post.
[8:46]I lost the weight, kept it off thing, I've gone through many, many ups and downs and your
[8:50]book.
[8:51]And I know it was health inspired not because you know, you differentiate between need
[8:55]and want and all of that, but, but just that you wake up and you're like, this is something
[9:01]I have to do every day is not have the cake I want or whatever to just tell me more about
[9:07]all of that.
[9:08]So yeah, I was 50 pounds about 10, little over 10 years ago and losing the weight was
[9:13]not that difficult.
[9:14]It was actually exciting, you know, every day, you know, the things are fitting, the
[9:18]pants have fallen off and it's crazy, it was so exciting.
[9:24]And then I lost the weight, I got to where I wanted to be I got to my high school weight,
[9:28]I was wearing my kids clothes, it was unbelievable, you know, I went into forever 21,
[9:35]I'm 70 years old, I was afraid to go into forever 21 because I took it with throw me out,
[9:42]you know, they go like, what's this guy doing here, it says start detective or something.
[9:46]And I started buying clothes in H&M and Zara, it was crazy, but keeping the weight off
[9:52]is murder.
[9:54]It's this, there's a guy inside of me that wants to come out every day and he wants to
[10:00]You know, just, so I have a little system.
[10:03]And one of the things I do is I have these two friends
[10:06]and we call each other every day and we check in.
[10:10]And I'll, with our exercise, I'll call and go,
[10:13]I'm done exercise, I exercise seven days a week now.
[10:16]And I don't go crazy, I don't do four hours,
[10:18]I do 40 minutes a day.
[10:20]And I call my friends and if I'm gonna,
[10:22]wanna eat something that is not right for me
[10:25]and it's hard to do, I'll call them and say,
[10:27]listen, I'm about to dive into this thing
[10:29]and then I try not to do it.
[10:31]But I don't beat myself up and I always get back on track
[10:36]and I try not to, in my head, where the head goes,
[10:39]it's too late, it's over, you gain back four pounds,
[10:42]the whole thing is over, so I don't let myself
[10:45]to beat myself and it's difficult, but so worth it.
[10:52]For the accountability with your friends,
[10:55]how does it, how did you find the right people even?
[10:57]Like, how did you know when you needed that?
[11:00]And what happens when you do fall off the wagon?
[11:02]Like, why does it not collapse for you?
[11:04]Well, because you have other people
[11:05]that you're accountable to and they,
[11:08]and they, they calm you down, they calm you nerves.
[11:10]So these two guys I know forever,
[11:12]one guy Bernie was 175 pounds and he's kept it off now
[11:17]for well over 10 years.
[11:19]And the other guy, Steve, middleman also had done
[11:21]the same thing, we all, we do, we exercise every day,
[11:25]but there's a saying, it starts in the kitchen
[11:27]and it ends in the gym.
[11:29]And I could run from, I don't know where you live,
[11:32]but let's say you lived on 85th street,
[11:33]I could run from 85th street down to Grandsville,
[11:36]it's that's a cookie.
[11:37]I lost 230 calories.
[11:40]Exercise doesn't do it.
[11:41]Once you lose the weight, exercise maintains it,
[11:44]but you don't lose weight by exercise.
[11:46]So it's all about accountability here.
[11:49]And I know there's certain things that just,
[11:52]I stopped everything by the way, Zippy.
[11:54]I stopped smoking, I stopped drinking,
[11:56]I started eating well, I reversed my entire life.
[11:59]Wow, it's so impressive.
[12:00]38 years haven't had a drink.
[12:02]Oh my gosh.
[12:03]Not even water.
[12:05]No.
[12:06]So yeah, I started off on the wrong foot in life
[12:11]and I kind of chucked everything that I thought was right
[12:16]and I had to reverse almost everything in my life.
[12:18]I have to say that what you wrote about growing up
[12:21]and the deep sadness you felt and your loneliness
[12:25]and the pain that you went through, that was, it was tough.
[12:28]I mean, my heart really broke for you as a kid
[12:30]and I was, it's great.
[12:33]You could sort of recognize it now, write about it,
[12:36]like move on from it and face it
[12:39]because a lot of times with trauma and all that stuff,
[12:41]you just like sweep it under and never really pull it out
[12:44]to examine and I'm wondering how that felt for you
[12:47]when you went through that.
[12:48]Well, writing about my mom was very difficult,
[12:52]very, very difficult, but it was cathartic
[12:56]and when I look back on it, I just had to write it.
[13:00]And I was in therapy for 17 years and it helped,
[13:06]but it didn't, something she just never get rid of
[13:10]and writing it out really changed everything for me.
[13:13]I really got a good view of who's gone on.
[13:16]One of the things in the book, which I'm most proud of
[13:19]is that even though I had a tough life
[13:21]in the top beginning and all that stuff
[13:23]and nobody gets hurt in the book,
[13:26]that's one of the things I'm most proud of.
[13:29]I'm not saying nasty things about people
[13:31]and people that hurt me.
[13:33]I'm not trying to destroy them back.
[13:35]There's none of that stuff in the book.
[13:37]And I've developed something from my mother
[13:39]and God bless her.
[13:40]I know how much she loved me.
[13:42]She was probably bipolar, but they didn't know that in 1960.
[13:47]They called it high strung.
[13:49]It was crazy.
[13:50]And I have empathy for her now that I never had before.
[13:55]I feel like in the book you came to this realization
[13:57]like my parents were sick.
[13:59]You know, there was something going with them.
[14:00]Yeah.
[14:01]And you don't know that one when you're a kid
[14:03]and I'm not excusing anything,
[14:05]but they did what they could do.
[14:08]They did the best they could.
[14:09]And I know they love me.
[14:10]And thank God for my father
[14:10]because I really knew he loved me all along.
[14:13]If you got one person in a life,
[14:14]you know that really cares and really loves you.
[14:16]You can take you far.
[14:18]Yes.
[14:18]Well, I feel like it, you set it up
[14:21]so that it makes sense why you are so happy
[14:24]being a part of the Jewish community
[14:25]and why like being there and living there
[14:27]and sort of adopting that is like a place
[14:30]to find that sense of home sometimes doesn't come at home.
[14:33]That's right.
[14:34]I mean, you have your family now, but I don't know.
[14:36]I also love those parts where, you know,
[14:39]you're like, where else can you find all these people?
[14:41]I love these Jewish names.
[14:42]And I love this, you know, it's like,
[14:44]and I'm Jewish myself.
[14:45]So I get it. I get what you're saying.
[14:47]Like there is something very comfortable.
[14:48]It's very comforting.
[14:49]It's very comforting for me.
[14:50]I've always lived in Jewish neighborhoods my whole life.
[14:53]In New York, I lived in the Bronx
[14:56]and for our stills from Manhattan.
[14:58]And then I jumped across the country
[14:59]and I lived in Los Angeles.
[15:00]I lived in a very Jewish neighborhood now.
[15:02]And I love seeing Jews.
[15:04]I love them, you know, and I mean,
[15:06]I just, there's something about feeling at home
[15:09]with my people here.
[15:11]And I love rabbis.
[15:13]It sounds insane.
[15:14]But I love rabbis.
[15:16]I love when the greatest thing about going to synagogue
[15:19]is when a rabbi talks, either you learn something,
[15:22]you get a good nap, you cannot lose.
[15:26]You know, I'll tell you a funny story.
[15:27]There was a rabbi in San Antonio.
[15:28]I lived there.
[15:29]My wife is from Texas.
[15:30]She's actually right a horse to school.
[15:32]Wow.
[15:33]The Jewish girl writing a horse to school.
[15:34]Can you imagine this?
[15:35]It's unbelievable.
[15:37]I believe so.
[15:38]So I always fall asleep at synagogue.
[15:41]It happens a lot.
[15:42]And I said to this rabbi,
[15:43]I want to come listen to you speak in the up tonoons.
[15:46]But there's a good chance
[15:47]I'm going to fall asleep when you're speaking.
[15:49]It's that okay with you.
[15:51]And he said, absolutely coming.
[15:52]I sat next to him and I was asleep almost every week.
[15:55]And he was still kind to me.
[15:57]If you're honest with people and tell me what's going on,
[16:00]it takes you a long way.
[16:02]I have to say, my husband converted to Judaism.
[16:05]And I used to go with him in the beginning
[16:06]when he would have the meetings with the rabbi.
[16:08]And he was in this dark, kind of,
[16:11]airless office down below the sanctuary whenever.
[16:14]And I would always like sit on the couch and fall asleep.
[16:16]And it was so embarrassing.
[16:17]There were only three of us in his office.
[16:19]And I just kept, I could not say wake.
[16:21]And now he jokes about it.
[16:22]But I'm like, I don't know.
[16:23]I don't know.
[16:24]I'm going to come in and fall asleep.
[16:25]So I get it.
[16:27]Maybe it was just his voice.
[16:28]Well, you know, there's a rabbi in Los Angeles.
[16:30]He runs the center there.
[16:33]And his neighbors rabbi higher.
[16:35]And he used to be a rabbi in Canada.
[16:37]And they came to him to please came once and said,
[16:39]in case of emergency, how many people
[16:41]can your synagogue sleep if we need it?
[16:43]And so every Saturday when I speak,
[16:46]I sleep over 300 people.
[16:47]That's really funny.
[16:50]I love that.
[16:53]So you took the pain of the past and all of your experience.
[16:57]And you found comedy and you read about when you kind of realized
[17:00]that this is something you want to do,
[17:01]even though nobody believed you would really do it necessarily.
[17:05]And then, of course, made this this huge career so much
[17:08]like Jerry Seinfeld, you grew up with him
[17:10]and he worded the forward and the bug.
[17:12]And all these people you said you really came up with
[17:15]in your industry.
[17:17]Talk about that and that journey of becoming a stand-up
[17:20]comedian, which is such a wish for so many.
[17:23]And so few actually make it.
[17:25]Right.
[17:26]I've been blessed.
[17:26]I've worked over 40 years to stand up.
[17:28]I was really never out of work.
[17:30]It's absolutely in show business.
[17:32]It's amazing, very small percentage of people.
[17:35]So when I was 12 years old,
[17:37]my parents took me to a nightclub.
[17:39]I'm an only child.
[17:40]So they took me everywhere.
[17:41]And they took me to a nightclub and Rodney Dangerfield,
[17:44]a great comedian, Rodney Dangerfield, opened the show.
[17:47]He came up.
[17:48]Oh, my gosh, he got all these,
[17:50]I never saw people laugh like this in my entire,
[17:52]I saw my parents laugh in a way
[17:54]that I'd never saw them with my entire life.
[17:56]And I made a decision.
[17:58]I had an epiphany.
[17:59]I said, that's it.
[18:00]I'm going to be a comedian.
[18:01]I know, I didn't even know what it was.
[18:04]And when I was 16, I started going to clubs
[18:06]to watch other comedians, 16, 17.
[18:09]I'm my phony ID.
[18:10]I got in.
[18:12]And then when I was 18, I decided to try it.
[18:15]And I did a show, one show.
[18:18]And I bombed so bad.
[18:20]I didn't get on stage for five years.
[18:22]Oh, no.
[18:23]I was petrified.
[18:24]Oh.
[18:25]And 23, I went back.
[18:27]I wrote a original material.
[18:28]This is what you have to do.
[18:29]I memorized it.
[18:31]And for the next five years,
[18:32]I worked for free every night,
[18:34]a different showcase clubs in New York.
[18:36]And I started with Jerry Seinfeld, Paul Reiser,
[18:39]my name Larry Miller, Gilbert Gottfried,
[18:43]you name it.
[18:43]This was my group coming up.
[18:46]And the only thing we cared about
[18:48]was not making money, not becoming famous,
[18:51]but becoming as funny as we can possibly be.
[18:54]That was the goal.
[18:55]And I also came up all my, all my,
[18:58]the people that went the generation before me all were clean.
[19:02]They didn't curse on stage.
[19:03]There were no four letter words.
[19:04]It was in big text talk.
[19:07]And I decided I'm going to work clean.
[19:10]And I've never veered off from there.
[19:13]So Jerry, I've been on the road with Jerry now for 20 years.
[19:18]And it's an incredible tour.
[19:21]And he wouldn't have me on the road if I didn't do well.
[19:23]No matter how friendly, how close we were as friends.
[19:27]Because if you're going to open that show,
[19:28]you better be good.
[19:29]Because we're talking 3,000, 4,000, 5,000.
[19:32]We went to Israel 17,000 people.
[19:34]And when you mentioned that was when like all
[19:36]these murders were happening all around you.
[19:38]And security cars and you still have to get off this
[19:40]and your whole show must go on section.
[19:42]Oh my gosh.
[19:43]What I've stayed there, I wrote a circle to show must go on.
[19:45]And you know, in show business, it's like, you know,
[19:48]if you're a fireman and you don't feel like putting on a fire
[19:51]that they have to inspire you to go.
[19:53]And in show business, if you don't feel like performing
[19:55]in your book, you do it.
[19:57]I had to do a show a week after my father.
[20:00]died. And I talk, I talk about him in my act. And I was, I was in Lake Tahoe, and I'm on
[20:06]stage from front of a thousand people. And I must feel like crying on stage, talking about
[20:11]a father who just passed, but you got to do it. Yeah. So, he said it was like a Shiva having
[20:19]your own Shiva on stage. That's right. Having all these people coming to the, the Shiva.
[20:23]Yeah, I forgot I wrote that line. Yeah, absolutely true. Yeah. Um, you know,
[20:29]something else that happened to me over the years is that I started out feeling miserable in life,
[20:34]and I'm fairly bomb vivant now. I never thought that that would happen in my life. I thought I
[20:40]was going to be depressed and miserable in my whole life. But somehow, when you make certain
[20:44]changes in life, something came out. That's great. It's amazing. I didn't expect it. And so,
[20:50]what do you attribute that to? I know you talk about your wonderful marriage and all of that.
[20:54]Yeah, 33 years. You know, interesting also about my group,
[20:58]Seinfeld, Paul Reiser, my friend, Larry, we all got married, and we all stayed married.
[21:03]Doing loads of horses, you know, really interesting that this particular group, we all respect
[21:08]the institution of marriage. A lot of it has to do with service work. I bought into the idea that
[21:16]being of service in life is the most important thing. And when you have a family,
[21:21]you're nothing but being of service. You know, I got three boys when they were growing up,
[21:26]you know, and I, you know what the word schlepper is? You know, it's like a guy that's always,
[21:32]I carry everything. I decided this is my lot in life. I'm a schlepper for my family.
[21:38]And how precious time is, you know, I wrote about it in the book, too, when my wife was breastfeeding,
[21:42]when the kids were little, my job was get up three o'clock in the morning, go and get the baby,
[21:48]bring them to my wife, and then bring him back. So one night, I was in there picking up one of my
[21:53]sons who I three in the morning. And instead of griping about having to get up in the middle of the
[21:58]night, I thought this one minute that I'm going to have a loan with this boy in the middle of
[22:03]the night is so precious and so important. I'll never be able to get it back. I'll only think about
[22:08]this in good ways that I'm giving a gift right here to be with him alone at three o'clock in the
[22:15]morning for one minute and be of service. And sometimes thoughts like that can reverse everything.
[22:21]So true. What a great way to look at life and all the stuff, especially how fleeting this whole
[22:28]part of parenting is. It's unbelievable. When you're in it, it feels endless sometimes.
[22:34]But then you look back and you're like, wow, that was really nice that night.
[22:36]Yeah, you don't think it's ever going to end like, you know, when you, you know, the first seven
[22:41]years, you can sit and have a meal. Yeah. Because you've got to keep chasing them around.
[22:45]You think this is going to go on forever. And then one day they're sitting at the table.
[22:48]On the other hand, I was getting a lot more exercise. That's true, too. Pocky car. If you have a car,
[22:53]park six blocks from me, I do that too. I always call blocks. I turn everything into a little bit of
[22:58]exercise. Smart. So when you're writing jokes versus writing essays, how do you do with them
[23:03]differently? Or does it all just come out? Yeah, it's an interesting question. It's a great question.
[23:08]When we first handed the book over to different publishers to look at some of the comments
[23:13]like that back was a little jokey. Some of the stuff seems, you know, and there is a difference.
[23:20]I'm not necessarily going for the joke in the essays, although I want them to be funny. A lot of them
[23:26]in stand up. You got to get to the point right away. You have no time to piddle and the audience
[23:33]with a guy like Seinfeld, they'll give him an extra 30 seconds. I'll come out, you know, they,
[23:38]you know, if I don't have it, you have to 30, 40 seconds, they start getting antsy. As
[23:42]Jerry said, you better think you have something more important to say than they do because
[23:46]otherwise they're going to come out to you. So writing jokes, it's just another way of thinking,
[23:52]you know, we things come to me and I write them down. So I just love writing and, you know,
[24:00]it's amazing. I always have when I was 12 years old, one night I got up and I started writing a
[24:04]play. And I don't think I ever saw a play. So what advice do you have for aspiring authors
[24:11]or even humorists? Or anyone who wants to take what's in their minds and put it on the page?
[24:16]So, you know, we've all heard this, you know, staying seated is one of the most important things.
[24:22]You know, if you can get yourself to the chair and not get up for a while, there's a good chance.
[24:27]I've been blessed. I've never had writers block any time I sit down, I can write.
[24:33]Not always good, of course, but at least I can, I can write. I think I tell people that
[24:39]if you don't want to do it, you can't force yourself to really do it. I want you to do it.
[24:44]It's just something, it's a need that that's been in me my whole life. I do tell people if they
[24:49]want to write a memoir and you don't actually want to write it, record it. It is very important
[24:54]to leave a trace of your life for people, for your family. I think it's really, really something.
[25:01]So, if people want to watch your stand up, like, I know you're in Vegas now, do you have
[25:07]where can people watch you either in person or your past recorded stuff?
[25:11]So, markshift.com tells you where I am all the time. I have a podcast. You don't know shift.
[25:18]Because about a month and a half to come up with my co-host, my name is Lil Benjamin,
[25:24]he's fantastic, and we have my podcast. And, you know, and in my markshift.com,
[25:30]and people go in. They can see where I am and what I'm doing. And I have some stuff on YouTube,
[25:35]not a lot, but I had a couple of specials that are out there, a showtime special, HBO special.
[25:41]Some of my tonight shows that I did all the way back with Johnny Carson or online.
[25:45]That was amazing. I think you probably may have read that story. You know, they told me I would
[25:49]never do the Johnny Carson show. And I ended up being one of his favorites.
[25:53]Oh, I guess. Well, I think another lesson I'm getting from you is just don't listen to the
[25:58]the naysayers and all the people who might be standing in your way or rejecting you at first,
[26:03]just like keep on going. That's it. And yeah, you just sometimes you're the only one that knows
[26:10]what you have. And you don't even have to believe in it, totally. You just kind of just
[26:16]put it out there and do it. And it can happen. I love that. Amazing. Mark, thank you. This was so
[26:24]great. Thank you for your book. The experience putting us in your head opening up your life to
[26:30]all the readers. And thank you. I'll be watching more stuff of yours in the future. I hope to
[26:35]see you perform. I'm going to head back to your bookstore when I get back to Los Angeles, Santa Monica.
[26:41]Oh, please do. It's great. You should come there. I will. I'll be out there this summer. I'll be out
[26:46]about you. Thank you. Okay. Thanks so much. Bye bye. Thanks for listening to this episode of
[26:52]Moms. Don't have time to read books. Don't forget to follow me on Instagram at zebi Owens and
[26:57]at Moms. Don't have time to read books. Also sign up for my newsletter at zebiowens.com and sign
[27:02]up for my virtual book club and meet lots of authors on Zoom every other week. Thanks so much to
[27:07]Steve and Ryan. Heck, texture sound for the sound editing. And thank you to Morning Moon
[27:11]Productions for providing this fantastic intro and outro music.