Tina Wells, THE ELEVATION APPROACH: Harness the Power of Work-Life Harmony to Unlock Your Creativity, Cultivate Joy, and Reach Your Biggest Goals

[0:02]Hi, I'm Zippy Owens, and you're listening to moms don't have time to read books.

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[1:03]Tina Wells is the author of the Elevation Approach, harness the power of work-life harmony

[1:07]to unlock your creativity, cultivate joy, and reach your biggest goals.

[1:11]Tina is the founder of relevant media, R-L-V-N-T media, a multimedia content venture that

[1:17]brings culture shift, and storytelling, and beloved products to market through innovative

[1:21]partnerships.

[1:22]Tina has been recognized by Fast Company's 100 most creative people in business.

[1:26]Essences, 40 under 40, Cosmopolitan's Fun Fearless Phenomenon, and more.

[1:31]She's the author of 10 books, including the Milgrave novel, Honest June, the best-selling

[1:35]tween fiction series, Mackenzie Blue.

[1:37]It's spin-off series, The Z-Files, and the marketing handbook, Chasing Youth Culture, and

[1:41]Getting It Right.

[1:42]Welcome, Tina.

[1:43]Thanks for coming back on Momstone.

[1:44]Have time to read books.

[1:45]This time to discuss the Elevation Approach, your latest book, which has been so helpful

[1:50]for me already.

[1:51]Thank you, Zippy.

[1:53]I'm always happy to be here and talk about books, and I had so much fun with you at

[1:57]our retreat.

[1:58]I was so great that you came down to Charleston the best, the best, and I read Jare's

[2:02]book, which was so good, really fun, and it was so fun to be around so many people who

[2:10]love reading books.

[2:11]I've never been on a retreat with readers, actually, and it just kind of filled me up

[2:16]to go back and write more in a way I wasn't prepared for, so thank you.

[2:21]That was such a cool opportunity.

[2:22]Oh, sure.

[2:23]No.

[2:24]It is nice being around people.

[2:25]I know it's not just numbers.

[2:28]It's not just hopes and the reader, it's actual people standing in front of you reading,

[2:33]but so that's nice.

[2:35]Yeah.

[2:36]Okay.

[2:37]In addition to the 8 million things you also do and have done with your career and your

[2:42]children's book series, which is all over the place, and everything else, you've taken

[2:46]the time out of your post burnout life to devise an entire program for the rest of us to

[2:52]help us through, not work-life balance to achieve work-life harmony.

[2:58]Tell everybody a little bit more about this.

[3:00]So I, you know, the elevation approach is something I developed really to help me, and also

[3:06]my friends.

[3:07]I was, you know, a coffee with a friend, and I was talking about my many children's

[3:13]books that were forthcoming, and she said, oh my goodness, I wish I could get this idea out

[3:18]of my head and onto paper.

[3:20]I just don't know where to start, and, you know, like most good girlfriends, right?

[3:24]We love to sell problems.

[3:26]And it got me thinking about how I was able to do it, and what changed for me, and obviously

[3:32]I write in my book about burning out at 27, you know, I started my first company at 16.

[3:38]And so I really start to think about this idea, especially going through a pandemic,

[3:43]you know, what would it mean to live in harmony, not seek balance, and then how would

[3:50]you bring things to fruition?

[3:51]And so those were like the two big thoughts that came together when I created the elevation

[3:55]approach.

[3:56]And it's an approach that has four phases or stages, whatever you want to call, I like

[4:01]to call them seasons, and it starts with like two seasons that I think we're all used

[4:06]to, and the two that led to my burnout are preparation and inspiration, right?

[4:12]So preparation is the idea that you, we all do the legwork to see if our ideas feasible,

[4:17]and then in the inspiration phase, we like go socialize it, right?

[4:20]We meet people, we talk about it, and I think many of us are very good at those two things.

[4:25]And what I found was that I was in a constant cycle of preparation and inspiration.

[4:31]And so I would prep an idea, go get super fired up, do more work, and I just wasn't getting

[4:36]anything done.

[4:37]And what I finally figured out I needed was recreation, and recreation led to the fourth

[4:44]phase, which is transformation, and I was actually getting things done when I would take

[4:48]a little pause.

[4:49]And so I don't know how many of your listeners are like type A, like me, but the idea that

[4:55]I should pause and not just keep hustling or grinding was incredibly foreign.

[5:01]And I remember I write about this in the book, getting called out when I was like at a retreat

[5:05]in Utah, right?

[5:06]So for many of you, it's like that's epic relaxation supposedly, right?

[5:10]And I was called out for, you know, my exercise still living, leaving me incredibly stressed

[5:16]and anxious.

[5:17]And so I thought I developed this like cheat method, you know, that I was going to like

[5:21]work out really hard and do these things and none of that was helping.

[5:25]And so now I feel like I do way more than I did before, but with so much ease.

[5:32]And I really do feel like I have found a way to achieve work life harmony.

[5:36]It doesn't mean I'm always in that state.

[5:38]But if I'm not, I know how to get myself back there.

[5:41]I know how to kind of pull a tool out of my toolbox.

[5:44]And I definitely found that this is a much easier way to live and thrive.

[5:49]Wow.

[5:50]Of course, you just like made up the framework, of course you did.

[5:54]So part of it is a smart method of goal setting basically, I can't remember what they

[6:00]all stand for, but basically that you have to have specific actionable measurable goals,

[6:05]right?

[6:06]I don't measurable actionable.

[6:08]What are they?

[6:09]It's just not systemic.

[6:10]What would the SP specific?

[6:11]Okay.

[6:12]Let's see.

[6:13]I should know it.

[6:16]Kindly.

[6:17]Kindly are like planner.

[6:18]Yes.

[6:19]Plan it.

[6:20]Yeah.

[6:21]Perks off in my planner.

[6:23]So I should know this.

[6:25]But again, all the tools, right, as we talk about like, I have many different tools in

[6:31]the framework.

[6:32]And I don't use all of the tools, right?

[6:34]Like for me, creating rituals is the most important tool for me, because I'm someone

[6:40]who lives so much of my life, like not at home in my environment.

[6:44]So I've found that I have to have rituals to help me sustain, where for someone else,

[6:49]it could be like a smart goals framework or, you know, building a tribe of friends that

[6:55]us where they like everybody is going to find that two or three things in these different

[7:00]principles to get out is things you really need to do.

[7:04]And for many people, it's like, I have a lot of ideas, maybe they need a smart goals framework

[7:08]to really make sure that they can track what that interesting.

[7:11]So I just gave myself this goal this weekend, which was to do 10.

[7:15]I bought like a 10 pack of workout classes.

[7:18]And they expire in 45 days.

[7:19]So I'm like, okay, I have 45 days to do 10 classes, which is ambitious, to be honest,

[7:24]because I haven't worked out 10 times in like the last 10 years, no, not 10 years, 10

[7:27]months.

[7:28]But then I was like, Oh, I just did exactly what Tina was saying, right?

[7:31]It's it's has a time thing.

[7:33]It's specific as opposed to all the other times, I'm like, I should work out.

[7:37]Like, that's so vague.

[7:39]Exactly.

[7:40]Exactly.

[7:41]And you know, well, I'm not, I think speaks to the bigger point, which is like, probably

[7:45]number one on my list, which is accountability, you know, that's why when I talk about the

[7:50]principle around knowing your numbers, I'm not just talking about finances.

[7:54]I think so many of us, when we are in like business creation mode, it's all about numbers,

[8:00]numbers, numbers, financially.

[8:02]But when I talk about knowing your numbers, you know, for me, every more like I wear

[8:06]my aura ring every day, I want to know my readiness score.

[8:08]I want to know how much I've slept, right?

[8:10]So how ready am I for the day ahead?

[8:12]You know, and I have different, like, looking at my calendar, have I seen my friends this

[8:17]month?

[8:18]Like, I have certain things that are like, I'm not feeling quite myself.

[8:20]I can look at some numbers I'm accountable to and say this is why, right?

[8:24]So for you with the working out, I've also found like things have to make sense to me.

[8:30]Like, I'm not a big believer and just go with it.

[8:32]Like, I need, like, even when I decided recreation was part of the elevation approach,

[8:37]I measured it and I measured like how effective and efficient I was after I had a moment

[8:42]of rest.

[8:43]I was like, oh, I'm like five times, you know, better crushing it and getting to the

[8:47]finish line when I take a pause and when I just go straight there, okay, now I need to

[8:50]take a pause.

[8:51]It wasn't natural.

[8:52]But you're going to have to find the same with like those classes, right?

[8:55]Where you're like, but why?

[8:57]What's the accountability?

[8:58]Like, what am I measuring after?

[8:59]do I feel better?

[9:00]Am I presenting better to my team and my family?

[9:03]Because if you can't figure out why, you know, you're not going to do it anymore.

[9:07]You're going to say, well, that's nice, but it's a nice to have not a must-have.

[9:11]Interesting.

[9:12]Oh, well, no.

[9:13]I had a lot of fun.

[9:14]See?

[9:15]Yeah.

[9:16]And I never, I know it was so fun, selfish, but fun.

[9:19]You also have a whole ledger for your relationships, which I also found fascinating.

[9:24]Tell me about that and why it's important for us to keep a ledger of some of the things

[9:28]we're getting from our friends and our tribes.

[9:30]Yeah.

[9:31]So I think for all of us and if your audience is primarily women, I would say busy women,

[9:36]like whatever stage you're in, if you're raising children, some of us are, you know, starting

[9:42]to take care of aging parents, right?

[9:44]Like, we are incredibly busy and we don't have more time, right?

[9:49]The most important thing, I would say even more important than managing your budget, right?

[9:53]Because you can always make more money, you can't make more time, is how you spend your

[9:58]time and with whom you're.

[10:00]spending that time. And so I found a few years ago that when I kept thinking I didn't have time to do

[10:06]the things I wanted to do what I realized was I was living on other people's timetables of where I

[10:11]had to be and what I had to do and I had to go to this event and I had to do this and I'm sure

[10:16]many of us felt that way before the pandemic, right? Like we were always obligated to do something

[10:20]on somebody else's calendar for ourselves. And then you went to a place where you didn't do anything

[10:26]and you're home, right, with your friends, your family. And then you had to get back into it and I

[10:31]remember about two years ago so many friends think I'm finding it really hard to get back into the

[10:36]hustle, right? Like I don't really want to go all the way back in. And so I developed this ledger because

[10:42]sometimes we don't, we think relationships are strong or you're supported as the friend. And then when

[10:51]you take a moment to pause, you realize actually the relationship isn't what I thought it was.

[10:57]Wow, why did I never take a moment to pause to see if I'm really getting out of it what I need?

[11:01]And it's so critical because I really believe that accomplishing your goals, accomplishing your dreams

[11:07]is really connected to that tribe of people that you build. And so if you don't have the right

[11:12]people in that core group, how are you then going to get to the level you're trying to go to?

[11:17]You know, and I think we spent too much time talking about mentoring and networking and not

[11:23]enough time talking about friend touring, right, in sponsorship. But to even get yourself in just

[11:29]place to like meet a sponsor, it's all about time management, right? You need to have that time

[11:34]available to go take that meeting. And so if you do anything, any exercise in the book, I really

[11:39]think the most important exercises are around relationship management for sure.

[11:44]Okay. Well, I had your whole workshop. My printer wasn't working, but you had a whole worksheet of

[11:49]like 12 pages. So I was like, oh, I should definitely do this whole thing. I'll do it later. I'll do

[11:53]it. I'll do it. But I'll give back to a printer that works. But it's good just to take stock and

[11:58]remind yourself like, you know, why should I think about what art brings me joy? Like what,

[12:03]you know, maybe I should just like take a pause like it is your life, right? If it's not going to

[12:07]get better if you don't make it better. No, and I find that like if you're on an express

[12:11]train and I can only speak from experience. I've had moments in my life where I've been on an

[12:16]express train and I'm not able to slow down and actually say, is this what I want until almost

[12:22]something tragic happens? You know, and I talk about my dad getting sick. And that was a big pause

[12:27]moment for me in my late 30s to really look at someone who I could tell was so fulfilled with

[12:33]their life and so happy. And I wasn't feeling that way. And so, you know, I don't think we ever

[12:38]want like a dramatic event like a pandemic to make us all pause. But I do in the book ask you

[12:45]a lot of questions about yourself. And I think everyone is entitled to change their ideas

[12:50]about what they dream and hope for. But if you don't know what you want in this season,

[12:54]how do you know what you're a yes for if you don't even know what you want right now?

[12:59]So what in your life is like giving you joy now? Like what have you decided to prioritize on your

[13:04]own time? Create projects for sure. You know, I've always loved middle grade writing. It's just

[13:10]a passion. I mean, getting young readers to engage in reading something that I think is just

[13:16]like reading changed my life. You know, as a tween girl reading about worlds that I didn't live

[13:21]in in South Jersey just expanded my idea of what my life could be. It was such a game changer. And

[13:27]so I just love writing for young readers. I love designing product. I mean, designing product

[13:32]for Target has been incredible and and having building those collections. And so I but I realized

[13:37]to be in a more creative zone. I actually had to really declutter my calendar from a lot of

[13:42]commitments just so I had moments for more inspiration than I've ever needed before. You know,

[13:48]I think for so many years I functioned as an executive, you know, where I was really like the hiring,

[13:52]the firing, the budgeting. And I still have those responsibilities, but there's also the creativity

[13:56]that has to get delivered and has to come from me. And so that has really taken a priority.

[14:03]And then I would say a lot of family time, you know, I'm the oldest of six. And as my niece and

[14:09]nephews are growing, my parents are aging, I think I really realized it's important to prioritize,

[14:14]you know, I had two and a half decades where I worked crazy fast, you know, and always, you know,

[14:21]never wanted to say no to the board. Never wanted to say no to like a new opportunity. We're now

[14:26]I feel like I'm far more picky and I'm very grateful for that. But I also think that comes with

[14:32]being really aligned with what sounds good. What am I guess for? And not just saying yes to

[14:37]everything that comes our way. Is there anything you said no to afterwards that you were like,

[14:42]oh, that was a huge mistake. No, no, no, no, which is crazy. But I think it is because I put

[14:50]in the work to say here's where I'm going in the next three to five years. Here's what's really

[14:54]important. Right. So if I run it through, you know, those like do those quick tasks,

[15:00]is it align with where I want what I want to do in the next three to five years. It's going to

[15:03]help move these goals forward. Is it in line with my rituals that I need to do? And it's not hitting

[15:08]for any of those, then it should be a no. It sounds so easy when you say it. Like it sounds so clear

[15:16]and crisp and smart. And yet, I don't know. I don't know if I could do it in such a

[15:24]methodical way when like some of these things are more emotional. I'm like, maybe this, maybe that.

[15:30]I don't know. You could once you found success. And I think everybody has to test it and find

[15:38]the success. And for me, what I mean, it's like thinking back to what life used to feel like,

[15:43]like the knots in my stomach, when I was running everywhere and almost late everywhere and

[15:47]trying to, you know, want to be present, but also thinking about the next place I had to be

[15:51]when I think about that, I'm a very like, I used to be a, be a researcher. Right. So everything's

[15:56]very numbers driven for me. Right. So I'm like, I can look at my bottom line and say, I made less money

[16:02]when I did that. I mean, we more would I did this? And it was less effort, but it was more applied.

[16:07]Right. So I think everybody should take a moment to audit that way to say, okay, and it's not all

[16:13]about finances, right? I think we've talked as a CEO. That's a huge part of it. But it's also about

[16:17]my health, right? Do I feel healthier? Do I feel better? Do I look better? And you have to take

[16:23]all that into consideration. And it is hard. I mean, I told, like, recreation is still a struggle for

[16:28]me. You know, I just went through this whole conversation in my head a couple weeks ago when I was

[16:33]looking at my summer and saying, it looks a little light. And maybe I want to add in all of these

[16:38]things. And then I'm like, what are you doing? You know, fall is transformation. And if you skip

[16:43]the recreation season, nothing's going to come together. You're going to burn out before you can,

[16:47]you know, have the energy to power through the end of the year. But I like still have to give

[16:51]myself pep talks, even though I know this works for me. Interesting. I know it's hard with the summer.

[16:57]I'm like, okay, now it's time to relax. But wait, I still have all these weeks. Anyway,

[17:02]but summer is like a burb like we summer now. And now that we're back in full force and we're

[17:07]watching people on Instagram summer, then we start to feel like we have to do more. Interesting.

[17:14]What's your advice for aspiring authors? Oh, goodness. First of all, I just love to read.

[17:19]I think it's really important to read any and everything. And don't judge yourself for what

[17:24]you like to read. You know, it's just like to spend the other day. I was like trying to think of a

[17:28]word. It was super specific. And I was like, darn it. I need to be reading The New Yorker again.

[17:33]I don't know why it's like, I just need exposure. You know, I need my vocabulary to have a bit

[17:37]more exposure right now. But I would say to read as much as you can. And then not judge what you've

[17:44]right, how you write when you write. I think that there are so many and you and I've talked about

[17:49]this before where there's like a way you have to do it. And I have to find the odds in every way

[17:55]possible and what that way is. So I think it's not comparing yourself to other writers. And

[18:02]also writing about things that you like, like you should genuinely, and that comes through when you

[18:08]are really interested in in the topic or what you're writing about. I feel like the reader feels that

[18:13]so true. Amazing. And what do you like to read? You said you always like to read. What are you

[18:18]reading now? Oh, goodness. Right now I'm reading a book called Lessons in Chemistry. I have super

[18:25]oh my goodness. I am like such a fan of this will be that the book is about. I just love her and

[18:31]I love that like I love books that transport me to different time periods too. You know, summer reading

[18:38]has always been fun for me ever since I was a tween. I felt like it was the time where I could read

[18:42]what I wanted to read. I still feel that way to this day. And so I can't wait to read Sonny

[18:47]Austin's new book. I read her first book. And I think we saw the books. Yes. And I loved it. I

[18:53]loved Alma. I mean, those characters that like stick with you. And so I can't wait to read the new

[18:58]one. But they're just so many like, I don't know, books for women. I love thrillers. We were never

[19:08]here was like one of my favorite books that I read last year. Lucky was great. Counter fit was

[19:13]fun. Like I just like any like spawn characters. I write a lot of fiction. But I read adult

[19:17]fiction. And it's funny. I write middle grade. Right. So I always try to have that like what's

[19:22]feeding me and keeping me interested. And then how do I write something for younger readers that

[19:27]feels interesting? And then I just read tons of magazines. I love design magazine style.

[19:33]I do read weeklies on planes. And then I read particular. I mean, it's funny. I'm working on a

[19:39]travel brand right now. And I haven't really read a lot of travel. But I love to travel.

[19:46]Wait. Tell me about the travel brand you're building. And I am reimagining what I hope is

[19:52]like really beautifully design luggage. And there are like 15 pieces in the collection. But

[19:57]products that everyone needs, you know, I fly 100,000.

[20:00]miles a year. So I know a lot about living on a plane and I wanted to design a collection that was affordable, but also just really good looking stuff. And so I think we landed it. There's a bigger announcement coming later this summer, but I've been in the world of building luggage now for almost two years.

[20:19]So my gosh, I'm crazy to have to learn all the things I never knew about YKK zippers and the wheels you want to have and all that stuff has been really fascinating. And so I would say I read a lot about the industry about manufacturing and so I kind of fell into manufacturing. And so I had a quick I had to be a quick study, but it's been it's very interesting. I spent a lot of my spring reading about global trade cases.

[20:46]It certainly leads to US and China and tariffs and that's not fun reading, but I'm super important in my new line of work for sure. Oh my gosh, that is so exciting. Well, congratulations. I mean, all of it's just exciting and it's it's nice to peel back the curtain and see how you do it all as opposed to just, you know, you started the book with like people asking you, do you sleep and you're like, I mean, yes, I sleep seven and a half hours and.

[21:14]You don't just say somehow I do it, you lay it out and help the rest of us. So it's really great. Thank you. Thank you. Yes. Right. Okay, congrats, Tina. And I'll just stay in touch. Okay.

[21:27]Bye, Tina. Okay. Bye. Bye.

[21:32]Thanks for listening to this episode of moms. Don't have time to read books. Don't forget to follow me on Instagram at ZB Owens and at moms don't have time to read books.

[21:40]Also sign up for my newsletter at ZB Owens.com and sign up for my virtual book club and meet lots of authors on Zoom every other week.

[21:47]Thanks so much to Steve and Ryan at texture sound for the sound editing and thank you to morning moon productions for providing this fantastic intro and now trim music.