Maud Ventura, MY HUSBAND
[0:02]Hi, I'm Zippy Owens and you're listening to moms don't have time to read books.
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[1:03]Mod Ventura is the author of My Husband, a novel.
[1:06]Mod is 30 years old and lives in Paris.
[1:09]She led the podcast division of one of France's major radio stations and speaks fluent
[1:13]English.
[1:14]My husband is her first novel.
[1:15]Welcome, Mod.
[1:16]Thank you so much for coming.
[1:17]On mom's, don't have time to read books to discuss my husband.
[1:20]Thank you so much for having me.
[1:22]Well, it's my pleasure.
[1:24]I feel like I should attempt to speak my high school French to you at this point.
[1:27]But, oh yeah.
[1:28]Please do.
[1:29]I will feel less bad about my English.
[1:33]If you speak French as well.
[1:35]My French is horrifyingly bad.
[1:37]I can under, at this point, I feel like I can understand when people speak French, but
[1:41]I can't remember the words.
[1:43]Anyway, but we can go back and forth.
[1:46]Okay.
[1:47]My husband, this was so great.
[1:48]And by the way, I did not see the ending coming.
[1:51]I did not see that coming.
[1:54]So that was like a huge surprise, but anyway, can you please tell listeners what your
[1:59]book is about?
[2:00]Yes, sure.
[2:01]So my book is called My Husband.
[2:04]And it's a story of a 40 years old woman who is just perfect.
[2:10]She has a perfect life.
[2:11]The perfect husband, two kids, a nice home, but the problem is that she's crazy in love
[2:20]with her husband.
[2:21]She lives for him.
[2:23]Everything she does is for him.
[2:25]And she just goes crazy.
[2:27]I don't know how to get that, but she, yeah.
[2:31]She's madly love too much.
[2:34]Yes.
[2:35]Emphasis on the madly.
[2:37]Yes.
[2:38]So her husband, through her love and obsession with him, honestly, she keeps this journal,
[2:44]this notebook where she records everything, all these things that as spouses or partners,
[2:51]we kind of keep a mental tally of, he did this.
[2:54]What about this?
[2:55]I don't know.
[2:56]What about this?
[2:57]I'm annoyed about this.
[2:58]But she writes it all down.
[3:00]Tell me about that decision is one of the many ways.
[3:03]Yes.
[3:04]I feel she's just like you and me, but far worse.
[3:09]It's like, it's you and me, but the worst version, without any limits.
[3:15]And I want it to go too far.
[3:18]So I can write something that everyone thinks about, but no one really there to do it,
[3:24]actually, in the real world.
[3:26]I really wanted to put emphasis on what's real and what is untold most of the time.
[3:34]So I will get mad because my boyfriend said something I was upset about and I will get
[3:41]very angry with him, but usually I don't talk about it.
[3:44]I just said nothing, but in the book, I go too far and I write it down and I get mad
[3:51]and I finish him at the end of the day.
[3:55]It's what I love about fiction.
[3:57]You can write anything you want and you can go too far, even if it's not really realistic,
[4:03]I guess.
[4:04]That's true.
[4:05]I love the fight they have over whether or not to close the shutters and how one of them
[4:10]was like, well, you can, she's like, well, of course you can sleep when it's light out
[4:14]because I saw you sleeping in the morning and what couple hasn't had a discussion about
[4:20]this.
[4:21]My husband loves to keep all the blinds up and I'm like, I can't sleep and then I get
[4:24]up to the crack of dawn.
[4:25]He's like, you get up to the crack of dawn anyway.
[4:27]So what does it matter?
[4:29]So it's always one of those, just like one of those things which of course if you don't
[4:33]really address the root cause, which of course is sort of what I think is permeating
[4:38]through this whole book.
[4:39]If you don't get to the bottom of it, then all the little things just make the big
[4:42]things sort of fester and fester and explode.
[4:47]And also they don't communicate because you can tell your husband, okay, can we find a
[4:52]middle point?
[4:53]Can we find like compromise and do something that works for both of us?
[4:59]But in her marriage, they don't talk.
[5:01]She doesn't say a word and she keeps everything in herself, which I think is very bad and toxic.
[5:08]Where did this idea come from with you?
[5:11]Yeah.
[5:12]So when I started writing the book, I was 25 and I was madly in love with my boyfriend
[5:19]at the time and we just moved in together in a little apartment in Paris where I live.
[5:27]And I was really upset because I was like, I am madly in love with him and I feel like
[5:35]what's going to happen next because we live together.
[5:38]It's the end of the story, but I was kept being madly in love as if we've been together
[5:44]for like two weeks and something was wrong.
[5:48]And I was obsessed with him.
[5:50]I thought he was perfect and it was really an unbalanced relationship.
[5:56]So the starting point of the fiction was what I was going through my love life.
[6:02]But I really needed fiction because I caught right about myself.
[6:06]I don't know how to do that.
[6:08]I really need to use my imagination.
[6:10]So I created this character, this woman.
[6:14]So she's tall, she's blonde, she's everything I am not obviously.
[6:19]And I wanted to be wait for those people to think our lot has dark brown hair and I can't
[6:24]tell how tall you are, but I don't know.
[6:26]No, I'm not very tall.
[6:28]I'm pretty.
[6:29]As we say, in France, I mean, I wanted her to be very different from me.
[6:35]And at the time I was 25 and she was 40.
[6:39]So in my life, she was like so old and she had all this life like a home and two kids.
[6:46]It was very exotic to me.
[6:48]I was still a student.
[6:50]So the starting point was my life and then I really needed fiction to go further and investigate
[6:58]what was keeping up her, keeping me up at night, I guess.
[7:04]And so what happened with the guy?
[7:06]It doesn't mean.
[7:08]Oh, no, no, but it's also best.
[7:11]So actually we stayed together for like three years and I've been writing my husband for
[7:18]three years.
[7:19]So like my book was what was our writing during the relationship and the ending we called
[7:27]to talk about the ending, but I was able to put a last world in my novel when we broke up
[7:36]and I understood what was going on in his relationship, but I can't say more than
[7:41]thing.
[7:42]Okay.
[7:43]Wow.
[7:44]I feel like we need to do a deeper dive over up of coffee or something like all the
[7:50]ins and outs of this relationship because it's none of my business, but when did you start
[7:55]writing fiction?
[7:56]When did you realize that was the way that you needed to process things in the world?
[8:00]Maybe two years earlier.
[8:03]So I was maybe 22 or 23.
[8:06]I was actually living in New York at the time and I had a lot of spare time and I was actually
[8:13]writing a master degree in philosophy.
[8:16]I was studying philosophy at Columbia University for one year and I loved doing research,
[8:23]but I was really attracted to fiction because when you write fiction, you can write whatever
[8:29]you want.
[8:30]You don't have to be precise, you don't have to quote your sources, you don't have to
[8:33]be like true and no one will ever be upset with me if I write something in fiction that
[8:41]is not true.
[8:42]If I exaggerate, if I not very accurate and so I felt like fiction was really freedom to
[8:50]me.
[8:51]Wow.
[8:52]And so this is your first book.
[8:53]This is crazy.
[8:54]And how do you feel?
[8:55]It came out in France first and now it's coming to the States.
[8:59]It has come to the States.
[9:00]I know I just saw it in my book store.
[9:02]Tell me what it's like having this sort of land in such a big way.
[9:07]It was very unexpected first and this book just changed my life.
[9:13]It changed everything.
[9:15]Now I am working on my second novel.
[9:18]So I have the freedom to write full time, which is just insane and it was very strange
[9:27]and bizarre and uncanny because in France, we don't have adjunct, you know, when
[9:33]you're a writer.
[9:35]I just wrote my manuscript and then I send it to publishing houses and then I got published.
[9:41]But really when I was writing, I had no idea that someone will ever read it.
[9:46]Like really, I had no clue and I couldn't know because they get like thousands of manuscripts
[9:53]and then they're going to publish me one or two.
[9:56]So what was it or just like, it couldn't happen.
[10:00]And so I was really thinking like, okay, I'm going to write this manuscript because it's really important to me and then I will write a second one and then a third one and eventually something maybe will come out of it, but so at the same time it was really like freedom because I could write whatever I wanted because I really thought that no one would ever read my book.
[10:27]So it was really like a special time for me. Wow. So what does it feel like now knowing that people will read what you're writing.
[10:36]It feels very different, but I feel like I have to forget that I have readers waiting for me to get like this freedom back of writing what feels really true to me.
[10:51]So can you talk about your next book?
[10:53]That's it.
[10:56]But yeah, I'm putting all my heart in it.
[11:00]That's amazing. Oh my gosh, I can't wait to read it. So you led or you used to lead the podcast division.
[11:06]I made your radio stations and friends tell me more about that and your experience with podcasting yourself and now being on the podcast and all that.
[11:15]It's crazy. So yes, I have two patients. I have writing literature and also podcasts and radio. So when I was a student, I really didn't know what I wanted to do with my life.
[11:28]And in my mind, being a writer was not a pretty time job. I changed my line in the world. Now it's my pretty time job. But at the time, it was more of a dream and not very not to carry her.
[11:43]So I started in writing, working in a big radio company in France and I started, started listening to podcasts. Actually, American podcast because there are so much more
[11:58]podcasts to choose from in the US. And I was listening at the time to the podcast called dear sugar from a shovel straight. I am a huge fan.
[12:10]And so yes, podcast was part of my life and then it became my job. And then my book, my first book was published.
[12:19]So I kept working for the first year, but then it became too big with the promotion going to Italy to promote the book going to London.
[12:30]And so I couldn't keep doing everything because I was doing the promotion writing my second novel and working a full time job in the podcast division.
[12:41]I eventually quit my job, but I really love podcast.
[12:46]And I know you do too. So I do. I do. I do. I love, I love the ability to just talk with anybody. I mean, where are you just looking out your window, you must be.
[12:57]Where are you? You're in some beautiful. I don't know. Where are you in South.
[13:01]I am in the Alps in the mountains. Oh my gosh. Wow. Yeah. Well, there goes my geography.
[13:08]And you are in Los Angeles, which is across the US.
[13:11]I know I should take my laptop and show you the mountains behind me too. I'll show you. We are across the world. But oh, wow. Yeah.
[13:20]In the mountains of Los Angeles.
[13:23]I know right. It's like crazy. What are we doing talking to each other here. But anyway, yeah.
[13:29]I think it's amazing. It's like magic. I love the description of a 40 year old woman with with two kids and a husband is exotic. I think that is the nicest thing anyone's ever said.
[13:39]As time has passed.
[13:44]You have talked. I'm short and more and more women and everything like how has that perception changed if at all.
[13:51]Well, some women told me I loved your book, but I can tell you have kids because if you had kids, you would never write something like that because the character is not very loving with a kid.
[14:08]And she's not very into motherhood. And I felt that I could write that because I don't have kids.
[14:17]And I am certain now and I really want to have kids one day and I feel like if I have kids one day, I will not be able to write some of the thing that I wrote in my first novel.
[14:33]So being 25 and being like being so far away from this life of having your husband, the home kids make it easier to be bad to be complex and and be violent about motherhood.
[14:52]Yeah, you're your characters. The kids are like an afterthought. You know, they're like an inconvenience or an afterthought and yes, I don't know. I mean, maybe some, I mean, some women who are mothers feel that way. I don't know who they are, but maybe they're hopefully.
[15:09]I don't know. Whatever. Everybody has a different view on mother and the relationship of the husband. I don't know the advice my mother always gave me.
[15:16]I was like, your kids are always going to be there. You have to focus on your husband. I'm like, what? The kids are like drooling on the floor.
[15:24]Like tumble down a staircase, like my husband's a grown man. Of course, then we got divorced. So I don't know. But anyway, I think they're, I think the pendulum has swung so far the other way that it's kind of refreshing to restart like this.
[15:36]Like, wait, what? You don't have to be obsessed with your kids. You could potentially be obsessed with your husband.
[15:42]And also, I guess French women tend to be a lot more focused on their love life and husband and relationship and not so focused on the kids because I have some of my girlfriends who have kids.
[15:58]And I feel like they're really fight to keep the flame and the passion with the husband after the kids come along the way. So maybe it's also cultural.
[16:13]French women are so cool. We are also very cold. So I'm not sure.
[16:22]Do you still listen to podcasts and which ones and also what do you like to read in your spare time?
[16:28]Yeah. So I listen to a lot of podcasts and I love interviews and discussion, especially because I get very inspired and I feel it's crazy because when you listen to podcasts, you can listen to a stranger talking about their life.
[16:46]And my friends, we have a podcast called Toss Fair and it's just someone saying a story. You don't know who he is. You don't know who this person is. And it's just like a story, first narrative person.
[17:01]So I listen to this podcast every week and it gives me really like insights into people's minds and as a writer is amazing to be able to have access to intimate thoughts.
[17:15]And also, listen to podcasts about money. It's more and more popular in France. We have a podcast called Is To Our Darshan stories about money and it's just people telling stories about how they feel about money.
[17:30]So what they want to spend their money for what they want to as a threat of not having enough money or as their feeling abundance.
[17:41]And I think it's very interesting. So I just listen to various podcasts and I deeply regret that their sugar don't exist anymore. I miss this podcast a lot.
[17:55]And then yes, I read a lot as well, but I don't read in English a lot. I read to French literature a lot.
[18:05]Have you noticed any big differences between publicity and events and all that stuff in the US versus in Europe.
[18:14]Oh, yes, in the US. Everything is so well organized. We're in France. I feel like we are a matures. You see, because in France you have my purposes sending me like very details emails with the days and you have forms to feel with all the info and everything is very precise.
[18:40]And when you have a meeting, it starts on time and it's finished on time. Whereas in France, it's just like I have my publicity over the phone and we talk about it and then we end up and then there will they will ask for my info like twice a day, even if they already have the info.
[19:00]I feel in the US it's yeah it's so professional. And I said to my French editor we are a letter.
[19:12]Oh, that's good to hear I guess. I mean that's that's a nice, nice photo confidence for our efficiency.
[19:19]Is your next novel. Where is your next novel set. Can you even say that in Los Angeles. No way.
[19:28]I don't need any grand underground research or descriptions or anything. Let me know. Oh, yeah. I would love that.
[19:38]And what's going on with your love life. Are you in a relationship now? Yes, I am. And I'm very happy. And also I realized that the love I am describing in my husband is not the love I long for anymore.
[19:54]Because in my husband is very passionate and they don't talk to each other and she's done.
[20:00]lots of time, but she's madly in love, but also crazy side of the time with really lots of
[20:07]herbs and downs. And I feel like now I am certain and I want something calm and we trust because
[20:18]in my husband they don't trust each other at all. And she goes through through a husband's
[20:24]things and she reads emails and stuff like that. And I don't want that anymore. So I feel
[20:31]like I came in terms with what passion is and the limits of it, especially if you want to have
[20:41]a family and if you want to build something, I want to build something on trust, communication,
[20:48]and not on passion and destruction. So yes, I am in love, but not madly enough, very low.
[20:54]I love that. You had a line in the book about the solitary diamond and how it was
[21:01]solitary was such an interesting word choice because there is that feeling that can come with
[21:06]being in a marriage where you feel completely isolated and alone, which I thought was really beautiful.
[21:12]Yeah, because I feel like usually you think that if you are single, you are lonely. And if you are
[21:18]in a relationship, well, you're not lonely because you are with someone. But I have never felt
[21:25]lonely than with the man I was with at the time. I feel like you can be too in a bed and feel
[21:33]lonely as if you were in the middle of the desert. So yes, it was very important to me too.
[21:41]Because when you have it all, I had the perfect boyfriend. He was in love with me. I was in love
[21:47]with him like on paper, everything was perfect. But I wanted to point out that even if on paper,
[21:54]everything is perfect, you can feel lonely as hell and you you have the right to be unhappy and to
[22:02]say you are unhappy because relationship and being in love doesn't mean doesn't necessarily mean
[22:10]being happy. You can be in love and feel unhappy and lonely. So yes, well, it's so important because
[22:19]a lot of people do feel that way and they don't talk about it because it's not like the accepted
[22:23]thing to say. Maybe just to their closest friends. But I think you're shining a light on this and
[22:30]realizing showing people that it doesn't have to necessarily be this way or that at least you should
[22:35]acknowledge that this is what's happening. And I figure out how you want to handle it. And I
[22:40]think that's like the first step. So anyway, Mad, congratulations. I really love chatting with you. And
[22:46]I'm so excited for everything you have to come. And I hope you enjoy your time in the
[22:51]house and all of your success to come. Thank you so much. It was so great to chatting with you.
[22:57]And if I have questions about to listen to this, I will email you. I'm here. I'll be here.
[23:04]Okay. Thank you so much. Bye bye.
[23:08]Thanks for listening to this episode of Moms Don't Have Time to Read Books. Don't forget to
[23:13]follow me on Instagram at zebi Owens and at Moms Don't Have Time to Read Books. Also sign
[23:18]up for my newsletter at zebiowens.com and sign up for my virtual book club and meet lots of authors
[23:23]on Zoom every other week. Thanks so much to Steve and Ryan Beck, Texture Sound for the Sound
[23:27]Editing. And thank you to Morning Moon Productions for providing this fantastic intro and
[23:32]now trim music.