Glory Edim, GATHER ME: A Memoir in Praise of the Books That Saved Me
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[0:43]Glory Adam is back on the podcast she was on years ago, this time for Gather Me, a memoir and praise of the books that saved me.
[0:50]Glory is a literary taste maker, entrepreneur, and advocate for diverse voices and literature.
[0:55]In 2015, she founded Well-Red Black Girl, an online platform and book club dedicated to celebrating the works of black women authors
[1:02]and creating a supportive online community for readers.
[1:05]Under Glory's leadership, WRBG, Well-Red Black Girl has grown into a non-profit organization, hosting events, book festivals, and author conversations that highlight the richness and diversity of black literature.
[1:18]Her efforts have earned her accolades, such as the 2017 Innovators Award from the Los Angeles Times Book prizes, and the Madam CJ Walker Award from the Hurston Wright Foundation.
[1:28]As an author herself, Glory has contributed to the literary landscape with her best-selling anthologies, Well-Red Black Girl, finding our stories, discovering ourselves, and on-girlhood, 15 stories from the Well-Red Black Girl Library.
[1:40]Welcome, Glory. Thank you so much for coming back on Mom's Don't Have Time to Read Books. Oh my gosh, so nice to see you again.
[1:47]Nice to see you as well. Thank you for having me.
[1:49]I was just saying that I want to pick this. This will be my January book club pick. I'm so excited. I'm obsessed with this book.
[1:56]It was so good, and I can't wait to talk to you more and have everybody read it, shout it from the rooftops.
[2:03]Oh, thank you.
[2:05]Oh my gosh. Okay, so Glory, tell everybody, gather me a memoir and praise of the books that saved me. Tell everybody why you started writing the memoir.
[2:14]What it's about, the whole spiel.
[2:15]Oh, yes, okay. So, gather me is my memoir. It talks about all the books that I read throughout my life, especially when I was having challenging moments when I was, you know, experiencing
[2:26]issues with my mother. She was experiencing severe depression. When I was trying to figure out how to go into motherhood, when I was a child, just really trying to find myself.
[2:37]So I think of it of my, almost like my history and books, all the things that I read to help me form my childhood perspective and also me as an adult, you know, and there were so many things I reread and came back two time and time again.
[2:51]And so I found a way to document that journey in my book and it was really, I would say at the life changing experience because I don't think most times we sit back and like, you know, really look at our lives and all the choices we made or opportunities that came before us and allowed me to really reflect on all those moments in my life.
[3:10]It's so good.
[3:12]There are so many passages that I marked. Can I read a few and maybe we talked about them a little bit. Okay, let's see page 18 and 19. Okay, this is about how you used to read with your brother who is a huge character in this book.
[3:26]And I won't give things away, but you have a scene with him later in the book where you basically fix this giant problem and you're crying in the car all on the way to, you know, dealing with us or you can share whatever you want.
[3:39]I just want to tell your story, but the relationship you have with your brother, I think is one of these main through lines of the story and the someone with the younger brother, I like, oh my gosh, anyway, just related to it.
[3:50]Listen, I would huddle in a living room as they fought, meaning your parents trying to distract each other with stupid games or our own little squabbles.
[3:57]When my father would stumble out of the house and my mother would weep in her room when the silence in the house seemed to press down on us in a way that made us gasp for breath.
[4:06]And he would pick up Maurice and put him on the bean bag, then climb in next to him, dragging the big yellow book of Bible stories along with me.
[4:12]For a moment, we just sit side by side, my brother's little shoulder pressed up against mine, feeling the way the bean bag settled to the contours of our bodies and swelled up around us, soft and supportive.
[4:23]Today I'd ask Maurice and he'd not in return his big brown eyes locked on to mine. This is a book of true stories I recited doing my best imitation of my mother's soft patient voice. It was my turn to teach someone to read.
[4:38]This is one of my first interviews talking about the books. I'm trying to stay composed and not cry.
[4:45]Me and my brother are extremely close and he actually just got married. We had his last month and it's been amazing to just see how we've involved and how our relationship continues to get stronger and stronger.
[4:59]But yes, I used to read to him all the time. A lot of times he wouldn't even know what I was picking up. I would just find something in the vicinity and just use it to comfort him or just find ways to distract ourselves from what was going on around us.
[5:13]Like as you mentioned, my parents had a challenging relationship. So moments, attention, agitation, sometimes fighting and to distract ourselves from that we would read together, we would go to our room, we would escape to the library.
[5:27]So I talk about that moment, that experience throughout the book and I'm actually wearing a bracelet right now that says, it says, trust the journey. I don't know if you can see it.
[5:37]But my brother gave me that. He gave me that right before I started writing the book. And so we have like this.
[5:43]I don't know. I don't want to call it a special language, but a way that we can communicate and understand each other because we grew up in the same household and we understand how complicated it was and how vulnerable we felt with one another.
[5:56]We always like continue to trust the journey. And now in adulthood, yes, those things were extremely hard, but we were able to endure and have a sense of resilience, a sense of hope.
[6:07]And we both, I'm proud to say like we have like really incredible lives and we've been able to really accomplish a lot despite the things we experience in our childhood.
[6:16]I really believe in this mode motto of like trusting the journey, writing your story and just like seeing things through.
[6:23]I can't believe you picked that passage because that's like one of my favorite parts of the book just like me, my brother just like me together and surviving it all together.
[6:31]Oh my gosh, I love that there is something about how we go through all this stuff and the only people who really get it are the one are the siblings through it all right.
[6:41]I mean it's just amazing. I interviewed somebody recently who had just lost his sister, actually Richard Powers had just lost his sister and he was just saying like they had just been so close and gone through everything together.
[6:52]That the fact that she passed away and I was so worried reading your book. I was so worried your brother was going to have passed away or something because I didn't know where it was going.
[7:01]I was like thank goodness you're like we're still really close and I was like yes thank God you told me that early on.
[7:06]Yes, it was a good ending and I mean that thing about having because outside of your parents if you have a sibling that's like the person who knows you the longest who understands your quirks and nuances of your family dynamic and I'm the oldest.
[7:22]Maurice is my middle brother then we have a younger brother who is like 13 years apart so our dynamic is different too because I'm so much older so me more is for five years apart so.
[7:34]There there's just like a different relationship and I'm close with all my siblings but there's definitely a different relationship between Maurice and I.
[7:41]And because he also like followed in my footsteps he went to Howard like me and like you know he he was just always attached to my hip growing up in a way that my youngest brother he ended up going to boarding school is a little bit different so Maurice and I definitely have a special relationship.
[7:57]I couldn't believe in you said you would walk around holding 10 day because you basically had full responsibility for taking care of him when you were 13 and people would sort of look at you like shaking their heads as if you were the mom and you kept being like he's my brother.
[8:09]He's my brother oh my goodness like that was the thing so my youngest brother like that big age gap of 13 years and again he was always with me I was always like babysitting or you know had that like older sister responsibility.
[8:21]I don't know if you've heard that saying like the eldest daughter syndrome where like the eldest daughter has to do all the things like she's like the manager of the house that definitely applied to me because.
[8:31]I had to really maintain our household and my parents were working and with what's in my youngest brother oh my goodness like if I would go to cheerleading practice he was right there with me and people would make assumptions and and I mean.
[8:45]Now that I like look back I can I don't understand but like it seems so ridiculous that people make that assumption but you know that's the reality people will project names they have their own biases.
[8:58]And I just would make the correction like this is my brother I love him immensely but I'm not like a young mom I'm just a bling taking care of my brothers and I just didn't want that judgment that judgment felt like really.
[9:10]Like unfair and just you know and times people just make it ugly make a thing that was like really pure beautiful and make it ugly people can be so.
[9:19]I mean people can be savvy oh my gosh well anyway I loved that aspect of the story okay hold on one more I have so much I could talk to you about like eight million different things lead into your story but wait one second okay let's talk about you finding books because that is one of the obviously main through lines of the story.
[9:39]I just said there's something magical about finding just the right book it just the right time it has happened to me over and over and it never feels like a coincidence it feels like fate or grace if I believed in angels my seraphim would speak to me through printed words on a page.
[9:54]Oh my goodness yes I'm like I love hearing me maybe you should do my.
[10:00]I think I'll book it.
[10:00]Yes.
[10:03]Work for hire.
[10:04]Yes, go.
[10:05]I'm happy to do it.
[10:08]As I think about it, writing my memoir was a journey
[10:12]of discovering like myself.
[10:15]And it was also like this process of reflection,
[10:18]like thinking about all the things that made me me.
[10:23]Like really, a lot of the books were cemented
[10:25]in this idea of who I was becoming.
[10:28]So Maya Angelou was a huge, huge milestone for me,
[10:33]reading her work, seeing her face.
[10:35]Like I remember like getting the book.
[10:37]And then back in the day, sometimes the author's face
[10:40]would cover the whole back cover.
[10:43]And just like her distinct features,
[10:45]like I felt like her eyes and her nose and her mouth,
[10:47]like we just had similar features.
[10:49]And I just felt like a kindred spirit,
[10:52]like very drawn to her photo.
[10:54]But then when I started reading the actual words,
[10:56]it was a little dense.
[10:58]It was, I mean, I was like 12, 13 at the time.
[11:00]And so the subjects were very intense,
[11:03]she's talking about like raising her child
[11:06]and sexual assault and like protesting
[11:08]and acting with someone.
[11:09]She's talking about all these like really complicated things.
[11:12]And my mind is the kind of like trying to keep up
[11:14]and understand.
[11:15]And at the time, I didn't really have anyone
[11:16]to talk to about it.
[11:17]So I would just like read these things
[11:19]and kind of take them in.
[11:20]And it wasn't until I was in high school
[11:23]that I was able to really kind of like,
[11:24]okay, these books are teaching me lessons
[11:28]and they're also providing a space for me
[11:30]that perhaps I'm lacking in other areas in my life.
[11:34]Like this isn't a space that I can necessarily go
[11:37]to my mom or my dad.
[11:38]I can have these books as a wonderful substitute
[11:41]and a mentorship of sorts.
[11:42]And some books that I would read
[11:45]and I wouldn't even understand the lessons
[11:46]until much later.
[11:47]Like I mentioned little women
[11:49]and how I really love like Joe March.
[11:51]And I think a lot of people can relate to that
[11:53]because like little women as a kid
[11:55]and everyone reads that book.
[11:57]But like her being a writer,
[11:58]it was like so drawn to that aspect
[12:00]and her being independent and so resilient.
[12:04]And all those characters and like scenes I would read,
[12:07]they just made me feel like,
[12:08]okay, this is the person I want to become.
[12:11]And then as I got older,
[12:13]I would say in adulthood,
[12:14]the books I selected were more intentional versus
[12:18]in childhood, it was kind of haphazard.
[12:20]I would see a book that maybe I really liked the cover
[12:23]or I had to read it because of my syllabus at school
[12:26]or something.
[12:27]But then in adulthood,
[12:28]like when I was thinking about relationships and love,
[12:30]like I really sought out books that I felt like would teach me
[12:33]lessons and I wrote in the margins
[12:35]and highlighted everything.
[12:36]Like I have read salvation by Bell Hooks so many times.
[12:41]Like it's like ridiculous.
[12:42]Like I've read that book so in all about love.
[12:44]I've read that book so many times in different areas of my life.
[12:48]And you know, sometimes it's after a breakup
[12:50]or sometimes it's just like this idea of resetting what
[12:54]and the love ethic looks like.
[12:55]I really believe in like practicing love in all areas
[12:59]of my life.
[13:00]I'm like thinking about romantic relationships,
[13:02]but I'm also thinking about my family.
[13:04]And I'm also thinking about my son.
[13:06]And in the community that I'm building,
[13:08]I want love to be centered at that.
[13:10]So as I got older, the books I selected
[13:12]and talked about in the memoir were more intentional
[13:16]about who I was trying to become
[13:17]and how I want to show up in the world.
[13:19]So there were, I mean, there were so many things.
[13:22]I'm trying to think of a, oh, Nikki Giovanni.
[13:23]Nikki Giovanni really, really did influence
[13:26]how I thought about politics and how I would,
[13:29]when I think about activism and being radical.
[13:32]Like that, she really shapes my viewpoint
[13:34]because she is just so forth right
[13:37]and so clear about her convictions.
[13:40]And she does that in her poetry,
[13:41]but she also shows up that way as professor.
[13:44]And like I just, I really was drawn to her to her work
[13:48]and how dynamic it was and how it didn't seem pinch at hold.
[13:52]She just wasn't doing one thing.
[13:54]Like she was able to really be multifaceted.
[13:56]And I felt like that for so many of the authors,
[13:59]I just had so much range and depth and so much beauty
[14:02]in their work that I could like kind of pick and choose
[14:05]what I needed to feed me.
[14:07]And I wrote about those different scenes and experiences
[14:09]to kind of share with people,
[14:11]because I think people assume, you know,
[14:13]because I did well with Black Girl that perhaps nothing.
[14:17]And when I say, well, we're Black Girl,
[14:18]that my organization, my literary organization,
[14:20]perhaps like nothing has ever happened to me.
[14:23]Like, I mean, I've had book called members come out to me.
[14:25]Like, oh, you're so happy.
[14:26]Like, you're always so happy.
[14:27]And I'm just like, yes, yes.
[14:29]I'm still like, I'm very optimistic and hopeful,
[14:33]but I've also had challenging experiences.
[14:35]And I would like to share that with people
[14:37]because I want them to know despite the experiences
[14:40]you might have, you can still accomplish a lot
[14:42]and you can still tell your story.
[14:44]You shouldn't be ashamed of that.
[14:45]And I couldn't have written this book 10 years ago.
[14:48]I could, I mean, there's no way.
[14:50]I had so much stuff to so process through
[14:53]about my relationship with my mother.
[14:55]I hadn't become a mother myself yet.
[14:57]And that turn of motherhood really made me more compassionate
[15:01]towards my parents and made me understand
[15:04]the sacrifices they made.
[15:06]And just the willingness they had to give us
[15:09]a good life despite their limited resources.
[15:12]So there was just like this full circle moment
[15:14]that I feel like within the last couple of years,
[15:17]like this was at the perfect time for me to write it
[15:18]and really understand who I am.
[15:21]And now I'm in my 40s, I'm 40.
[15:24]And so I'm just like, it's like two decades to get there,
[15:27]but now that I'm here, I'm so happy.
[15:29]Oh my gosh, I love it.
[15:30]Well, I was so excited even when I heard you had it memoir
[15:33]because obviously I read interview,
[15:35]do you what, when did I come out four years ago?
[15:37]Yeah, I was like, 2018.
[15:39]Like, I mean, so much to see it.
[15:41]Oh my God.
[15:41]Yeah.
[15:42]And you came over and whatever.
[15:44]And I was like, and I've been following along
[15:45]as I've watched you grow your organization.
[15:47]And I'll be at, I'm so much jealous to be honest
[15:49]with your massive growth.
[15:51]I'm like, I can learn from her.
[15:52]Like, what is it like doing wrong?
[15:54]What is she doing?
[15:54]I feel like, honestly, I feel like we're kid.
[15:57]Like, I feel like, it's like book club sisters.
[15:58]Seriously, it's just beautiful, like,
[16:02]alliance of awesome book clubs on the internet in real life
[16:06]and where it's like, we're all cousins
[16:07]and like, at the family reunion, you know?
[16:10]Like, I feel like I learned from me too.
[16:11]And I love, love your imprint.
[16:13]Like, I really like it.
[16:14]Oh, thank you.
[16:15]Yeah, like I read all your books and your authors.
[16:17]Oh my gosh.
[16:18]You're so nice.
[16:19]The feeling is mutual.
[16:20]Oh my gosh.
[16:21]We need to take this on the road.
[16:23]Like you and me and maybe get like two other people
[16:25]with different communities.
[16:27]Like tapping into all different people
[16:28]and doing one big event together.
[16:30]And that'd be fun.
[16:31]Oh my God, that'd be so brilliant.
[16:32]I would love that.
[16:33]Let's do it.
[16:34]Yeah, that'd be really fun.
[16:35]Yeah, I love it.
[16:36]Okay, back to more stuff from your book.
[16:39]Well, I do want to talk about your mom,
[16:40]but wait, a couple more.
[16:42]Oh my God.
[16:43]Obama reading of the book.
[16:44]Oh, yeah.
[16:45]Okay.
[16:46]Well, this is the last, the very last thing.
[16:47]I had like 20 more, but I'm going to run out of time.
[16:49]Then we just read one more passage on books.
[16:51]And then I want to talk about your mom.
[16:52]You said books made me, this is a letter to your son.
[16:55]Books made me who I am, Zeke, right?
[16:57]That's how you pronounce it.
[16:59]They gave me wisdom and laughter, beauty and truth.
[17:01]Books challenged me and comforted me.
[17:03]They made me stretch and grow.
[17:04]Books showed me how to dream and plan.
[17:06]They made me cry and big, gasping, ugly sobs.
[17:09]Books made me furious.
[17:11]Sometimes they put me to sleep.
[17:12]Books made me nostalgic and gave me great hope for the future.
[17:15]They gave me a mirror to look into,
[17:17]a voice to my pain.
[17:18]They showed me a path.
[17:19]They lifted me to the stars.
[17:21]They let me escape to a new world.
[17:23]When the world I was living in was barely survivable.
[17:26]I was saved by books, my little son.
[17:29]Books and words are what I have to offer you.
[17:31]They are your inheritance.
[17:33]They are your legacy.
[17:34]They are the truest manifestation of my love.
[17:38]Yeah, glory.
[17:39]That's so amazing.
[17:41]I mean, it's all just so amazing.
[17:44]It's so beautiful.
[17:45]One thing after the next, oh my gosh.
[17:47]Oh my goodness, I love my books,
[17:51]but I love my son so much.
[17:53]And my mother had really changed how I approached everything
[17:59]because, I'm sure you understand,
[18:02]it becomes like everything is for your kids.
[18:05]Everything that you're building and growing and trying to
[18:09]like put together, it's in one way or the other.
[18:13]It's like a form of legacy building.
[18:15]And it's love.
[18:16]It's just like, I love him so much.
[18:18]And I feel like I want to impart some of you lessons to him.
[18:22]I want him to have a good understanding
[18:25]of the makeup of our family, which is complicated.
[18:28]You know, like I am first generation
[18:30]and I was born here in the United States.
[18:32]My both of my parents are Nigerian,
[18:34]but I didn't necessarily, I went, I go visit Nigeria a lot,
[18:37]but I didn't grow up in the fabric of a traditional Nigerian
[18:42]home in Nigeria, which is just like, that's just what it is.
[18:45]It's just, it's just different.
[18:46]I love where my mom, but I didn't grow up there.
[18:49]So I feel like I'm always constantly trying to understand
[18:53]that duality.
[18:54]And now I have a child.
[18:56]I'm also trying to teach him about where he's from.
[18:58]So yes, we're going to make trips and we're going to go.
[19:01]We're going to eat the food.
[19:02]We're going to learn the language,
[19:04]but it feels like a really immense responsibility.
[19:08]So I want to just be mindful about the things
[19:10]that I show him.
[19:11]And my first, I don't know my first thing to do
[19:14]is I go to a book.
[19:15]You know, so he has like a little book about Nigeria.
[19:18]Oh, I love that.
[19:19]You know, and so we're like, we read things,
[19:22]we do things with his grandmother.
[19:24]And we like, again, my brother's wedding was recently.
[19:28]So we had a moment where we had like a ceremony
[19:30]and we had like bledaggery and flags.
[19:32]And so he can probably say like, I'm Nigerian.
[19:34]I mean, understand the flag.
[19:35]You know, like I just want him to understand
[19:39]the history of our family.
[19:40]And hopefully when he's an adult and he's able to process
[19:43]and understand everything, he can read this.
[19:46]And we could talk about it together.
[19:48]And perhaps he'll add continues to add to the story.
[19:50]If he's a writer, you know, I would like love that.
[19:52]Or he's an artist or creative person.
[19:54]He can continue the lineage of what our story is,
[19:57]including his, and now on his father.
[20:00]your side too.
[20:00]You know, there's so many beautiful attributes
[20:02]from his father too.
[20:03]So I just want him to have a very well-rounded
[20:06]and full understanding of who he is.
[20:08]I know from me books did that
[20:10]and I hope books do that for him too.
[20:12]I don't wanna assume,
[20:13]but I will be pushing that direction for her.
[20:16]I feel like my greatest accomplishment
[20:19]as a mom is that I've raised book lovers,
[20:21]particularly my youngest son who's nine, almost 10.
[20:24]And the other day we were like leaving some activity
[20:26]and I was like, how was it?
[20:27]And he was like, I'd rather just be home reading a book.
[20:31]And I was like, oh, that's so awesome.
[20:34]I know, I was like, my job here is to it.
[20:37]Yeah, I am definitely planting seeds.
[20:40]I know it's like a laurel game, you know?
[20:41]Yeah, it's a long game.
[20:42]Yeah.
[20:43]I'm just like slowly with Shirley.
[20:45]But if you have any other tips, like momming tips on,
[20:48]you know, raising a reader, I will happily accept
[20:51]because I'm, he's really, it's a monster truck right now.
[20:54]So in trains, wheels, anything like that's a vehicle.
[20:58]That's this jam, again, he's four,
[20:59]but I'm like trying to.
[21:02]I think he's already gonna be fine
[21:03]because he's surrounded by,
[21:04]but I think that's one of the most important things
[21:06]be surrounded by book lovers.
[21:08]Be surrounded by people talking about the love of books.
[21:10]And I mean, you know, I'm sure you too,
[21:12]like I take my kids to bookstores on the weekend.
[21:14]We go to libraries, we go to like,
[21:16]that's like part of our thing.
[21:17]It's like another book event, you know,
[21:18]that's their whole life.
[21:19]So yeah, absolutely.
[21:21]Right now I was actually trying to do like clean up my,
[21:24]my books.
[21:25]I was like, oh, let me do a book slot with some friends.
[21:27]So I have some books on the floor in my living room.
[21:29]And he's made it into a floor.
[21:31]And he's been calling it book city.
[21:32]And I'm just like, okay, like you're not reading them.
[21:35]And I'm like, please on tears of ages,
[21:38]but you can play with them.
[21:38]So yeah, we are surrounded,
[21:40]like so many books in the house everywhere.
[21:43]And so he makes this little book cities too.
[21:45]We had went when my son was younger,
[21:46]he put all the books and like made pathways
[21:48]like around the, you know, like into different rooms.
[21:50]We would have to follow the books.
[21:51]And yeah, just like have buy books, not blocks.
[21:55]I don't know.
[21:56]I know I said I want to talk about your mom,
[21:58]which I do, but I also have to read this last passage.
[22:01]And then I promise I will stop reading from your book.
[22:03]But in the book, you also chronicle your own relationships
[22:07]and a difficult relationship and Tony and Chris
[22:11]and all of the loves of your life and where you are now
[22:14]and love in general.
[22:15]And I love, I love where you end up in the book.
[22:18]But here's where can I say this?
[22:20]There's a giving it away.
[22:21]Yes, sir.
[22:22]You say the next time I fall in love,
[22:24]this actually made me cry.
[22:25]I feel like I'm gonna cry reading this again.
[22:27]The next time I fall in love,
[22:28]words will fly between us like shooting stars.
[22:31]The next time I fall in love,
[22:32]I will lay in my man's arms as he whispers all the things
[22:35]he loves about me, telling me the way he sees me.
[22:38]I will let his words roll over me,
[22:40]stoking my fire with his voice.
[22:42]The next time I fall in love,
[22:44]there will be endless poetry and prose and prayer between us.
[22:48]The next time I fall in love,
[22:49]we will sing together in the kitchen on rainy Sunday mornings.
[22:52]The next time I fall in love,
[22:53]we will yell when it is necessary.
[22:55]Then we will sweeten our voices and make up humming our forgiveness.
[22:59]The next time I fall in love,
[23:01]there will be jokes told, silliness and clowning.
[23:03]There will be laughter that rings through our whole home.
[23:06]The next time I fall in love,
[23:08]our life will be filled with words.
[23:10]Oh my gosh.
[23:11]You're gonna be crying.
[23:12]Oh my gosh.
[23:14]That was like a really,
[23:16]you know, that was probably the freshest part of my memoir,
[23:20]just like talking about that's a borition
[23:24]and just like all the things that I'm longing for
[23:27]and I desire in the future,
[23:29]that was really challenging.
[23:31]That definitely was like the hardest part of it
[23:34]because, I mean, you know, I'm great.
[23:38]It's okay.
[23:39]For the most part,
[23:40]my experience is with my mother and my father,
[23:44]my brothers, that has been a lot of therapy,
[23:47]a lot of resolution.
[23:48]I was in a good place to write about that
[23:50]because there was enough distance.
[23:52]I felt like I could be vulnerable and objective enough
[23:55]to write about that.
[23:57]Whereas, you know, my separation
[24:00]and that was very recent that happened
[24:02]during the pandemic.
[24:03]It was still my son had just been born.
[24:05]It was a very, it was a very hard decision to come to that
[24:09]but I knew what was best for me
[24:12]and what in the future that I long for for my son
[24:15]and that kind of really was like my north star.
[24:18]I knew I had to make this decision.
[24:19]So it was very hard but I have such a clear vision
[24:24]of what I want in the future
[24:25]and the love that I want to experience
[24:27]and I'm adamant about experiencing that
[24:30]and I'm not going to settle or compromise.
[24:33]Like I just feel like I have a very firm understanding
[24:36]of who I am now and I can even see, you know,
[24:39]what drew me to that place in the beginning, you know,
[24:43]because I was a different person as much younger
[24:47]and you know, it's just like all these things.
[24:50]Like I don't even know if I can clearly articulate.
[24:52]There's so many things that have happened
[24:53]over the last couple of years
[24:55]but I'm very proud to say like I feel like
[24:56]I'm in a space where I know myself.
[24:58]I know my value, I know my worth and I love myself,
[25:02]you know, like I am not compromising when it comes to that.
[25:06]And in that space, I was thinking so much
[25:08]about Bell Hooks.
[25:10]I was thinking so much about Tony Morrison.
[25:13]There are lines from their books
[25:15]that really holds me and when I feel maybe discouraged
[25:18]or, you know, the dating scene isn't as like,
[25:21]amazing as I want it to be.
[25:23]I go back to that, I go back to those lines.
[25:26]I go back to like wanting that love that is very open
[25:31]and expressive and really it brings me
[25:34]to a place of joy and happiness.
[25:36]Like I don't want to be silent.
[25:37]I don't want my relationship to be that way either.
[25:39]And so it was challenging.
[25:41]And I know people can relate to that in so many levels.
[25:45]You know, when you're making a transition,
[25:47]when you're deciding to leave a romantic partner
[25:50]or just trust yourself and love yourself
[25:53]like you have to have so much conviction
[25:55]and trust yourself throughout the process.
[25:57]So I wrote that just knowing that I had to be honest
[26:02]with myself, I really had to be very clear
[26:04]about like when I wanted for my future.
[26:06]And I don't know, I feel like I feel good about it.
[26:09]I feel like it's coming and I feel like there's just
[26:11]so many more possibilities in my future.
[26:14]Love-wise and otherwise, you know,
[26:16]that maybe that's the second half of our tour.
[26:20]It's like a dating show.
[26:23]It brings some romance authors in the book.
[26:26]Totally, totally.
[26:28]You can set up, you know?
[26:29]Yeah, but yeah, when we could do our own version
[26:32]of like love is blind for books, we could totally do that.
[26:36]Yeah, I mean, I went through divorce and remarriage.
[26:39]It's just, it's never a straight line.
[26:41]It's never a straight line.
[26:43]I put that on a shirt, they'd be,
[26:45]it's never, am I like seriously like,
[26:48]and that's why I wrote like my story
[26:50]because it's so true on so many levels.
[26:52]Whether it's your career, motherhood, relationships,
[26:55]it's never a straight line.
[26:56]Like you will just continue to have ups and downs,
[26:59]contours, like all kinds of things will happen,
[27:02]but you have to continue to trust yourself
[27:04]in like really like trust your intuition.
[27:07]And I will say for sure that's one thing
[27:10]that was probably like the biggest discovery
[27:12]or take away from this writing experience
[27:14]and trying to like kind of pull out
[27:16]all these different memories.
[27:18]It's like, oh, like I trust myself.
[27:20]I know like who I am.
[27:22]And maybe I didn't so much when I was 19 or 20,
[27:26]but glory today knows who I am.
[27:28]And I can trust my decisions.
[27:30]Well, I dare anyone to read this and not fall in love with you.
[27:33]I mean, I mean, it is so good.
[27:36]And even the way you start your introduction
[27:38]is like the best introduction I've read ever in my life.
[27:41]And now in the beginning when you describe
[27:43]well-read black girl and you're like,
[27:45]you know, reader, I kept the shirt and left the man.
[27:48]And we're like, yes, you know, like I mean,
[27:51]we are rooting for you for the first page
[27:54]and all the stuff you go through.
[27:56]And oh my gosh, your mom's depression too.
[27:59]I didn't even have time to touch on it as much.
[28:01]but how you got through that and her silence for so long
[28:05]and how she just like came back, it so much stuff.
[28:08]Anyway, glory, everybody needs to read this book.
[28:12]I am obsessed.
[28:13]You are amazing.
[28:14]And let's do that stuff together really.
[28:16]Yeah, I'm like,
[28:17]I'm like, embarrassingly fawning every year, but I'm a kind of...
[28:20]The feelings is mutual.
[28:22]Like I'm ready to do all the things.
[28:23]I'm really grateful that you're,
[28:25]this is like officially one of my first interviews
[28:27]for the book.
[28:28]This is like really good primer.
[28:30]I really appreciate you.
[28:31]All your work or team.
[28:33]It's, I mean, it's phenomenal.
[28:35]So I really want to just let you know the feelings
[28:37]is mutual.
[28:38]I've been watching and admiring and like giving emoji hearts
[28:41]to online.
[28:42]And that's the way we all love each other.
[28:44]So I'm like pressing like and sharing.
[28:48]Thank you for this opportunity.
[28:50]And I can't wait for January.
[28:51]That sounds very exciting.
[28:52]Now come up, come up to New York.
[28:54]Okay, amazing.
[28:55]We'll plan.
[28:56]Okay, to be continued.
[28:57]Okay, thank you, glory.
[28:59]All right, good luck with everything.
[29:01]Thank you.
[29:01]Okay, bye.
[29:03]Bye.
[29:03]Bye.
[29:04]Thanks for listening.
[29:06]Two moms don't have time to read books.
[29:08]If you love it, please leave a review.
[29:10]And follow us on social at city Owens and at city readers.