Kareem Rosser, WHEN YOU'RE READY: A Love Story
[0:00]Hi, this is Zibi Owens, and you're listening to Totally Book to Zibi.
[0:06]Formerly, moms don't have time to read books.
[0:08]In my daily show, I interview today's latest, best-selling, buzziest, or underrated authors
[0:14]and story creators, whose work I think is worth your time.
[0:18]As a bookstore owner, publisher, author, and obviously a podcaster, I get a comprehensive
[0:24]look at everything that's coming up, and spend my time curating the best books, so you
[0:29]you don't have to.
[0:30]Stay in the know, get insider insights, and connect with guests, like I do, every single
[0:35]day.
[0:36]For more information, go to zibimedia.com and follow me on Instagram at zibi Owens.
[0:44]Kareem Rosser is the author of When You're Ready, a love story.
[0:48]Kareem is from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
[0:50]He received a BA in economics from Colorado State University.
[0:54]While at CSU, he led his collegiate polo team to a national polo championship.
[0:58]At the same time, he was honored as the intercollegiate polo player of the year.
[1:03]Kareem returned to work to ride, where he was originally introduced to polo, and now serves
[1:07]as the executive vice president.
[1:08]He lives with his family in Philadelphia.
[1:11]Welcome, Kareem.
[1:12]Thank you so much for coming on Totally Book to Zibi.
[1:15]Your book When You're Ready, A Love Story.
[1:17]Oh my gosh, this book, it just slayed me, it's so good, it's so emotional, it's so real.
[1:25]You've been through so much, and you write so beautifully about it.
[1:28]And so inspiring, I'm obsessed.
[1:30]Congratulations.
[1:31]Thank you.
[1:32]Thank you so much.
[1:33]I appreciate it, and I'm really excited to join you today and to talk about the book.
[1:39]It's my first time talking about the book with anyone.
[1:42]No way.
[1:43]Oh my gosh.
[1:44]So I have not had a chance to really speak with anyone about it, about the writing experience,
[1:49]the book, how I felt, how I feel now.
[1:51]So I'm excited to hear some of your questions, and hopefully you won't have me
[1:58]crying on your podcast, but we'll see what you want.
[2:01]I mean, I want to know why you decided to write the book.
[2:05]And I want to tell everybody basically the bones of your story, or, I mean, essentially,
[2:12]your love of Lili is the throughline of the book, and yet there is so much loss and
[2:19]so much resilience at every step that it just felt like how could things, like you just
[2:25]lost so many people you loved.
[2:27]And it just breaks my heart.
[2:28]It really breaks my heart.
[2:29]I hope you know how much this is a lot for anyone person to talk about the book.
[2:34]Yeah.
[2:35]Absolutely.
[2:36]Look, I mean, it took me some time to, I guess, get to a part of my life where I felt comfortable
[2:41]writing about the book.
[2:42]I know my agent and I spent a lot of time going back and forth, are you ready to write
[2:46]the book yet?
[2:47]And I'm like, I'm not ready yet.
[2:48]As you learn in the book, you know, I spent a lot of time with therapy, getting to a place
[2:52]where I eventually got to a point to where I kind of accepted who Lili is today and
[2:58]the loss of Lili in a sense of losing the woman that I loved and who I thought eventually
[3:03]I would have a long life with, but I just realized there were so many other people going
[3:09]through what I was going through, you know, just even walking into the rehab hospital and
[3:13]seeing some of the other family struggle with just the day-to-day loss or trying to get
[3:19]their family members, their husband or their wife or their child back to health and to
[3:23]the strength of where they could just live a normal life.
[3:26]You know, and I was battling so much quietly, you know, many of my folks were really aware
[3:31]of my anxiety that I was dealing with, a little bit of depression that I was dealing with
[3:35]during Lili's loss.
[3:36]You know, I just woke up every day and I smiled and I went on with my day and I realized
[3:41]that Lili needed me there and that was the only thing I was thinking about.
[3:45]But at the same time, you know, there were so many other people within the family that
[3:49]were struggling, you know, Evie, Lili's mom, you know, we showed up every day and we hugged
[3:54]each other and we talked, but we never really even talked about our anxiety or depression
[3:59]or things that we were going through.
[4:00]We were just so present for Lili and so it was about time that I decided to just step
[4:06]back, accept it, and then write about it and hopefully share it with people and hopefully
[4:11]make a difference.
[4:12]But really, I just wanted to write in a way that would let other folks know that they weren't
[4:18]alone.
[4:19]Wow.
[4:20]Well, you did that.
[4:21]You wrote in such an accessible heartfelt, like beautiful way that it's impossible not
[4:27]to feel not to like clutch your chest reading it.
[4:30]And there are plenty of very positive moments.
[4:31]I don't mean to suggest this is a doomsday book.
[4:34]This is very, you know, inspiring really.
[4:38]Let's go back.
[4:39]In your, so Lili and that her accident, her writing accident, talk about that, how you
[4:45]found her, you kept hearing about her online through the writing world going up in the
[4:50]bottom, your family, your moms would be, oh my gosh, there was just so much your friend
[4:56]Mecca.
[4:57]Right, Mecca?
[4:58]You, Mecca, yes.
[4:59]Oh my gosh.
[5:00]Even that, that was so sad.
[5:02]I mean, you could have written a book just about that.
[5:04]Anyway, there were so many things, but start, talk a little, just give everybody an overview.
[5:09]Yeah.
[5:10]So summer of 2014, I came back to Philly because I was finishing up my second year at
[5:15]Colorado State University where I was here playing polo and writing as well.
[5:20]And I realized, and that summer that I was not, I didn't really have any plans of
[5:24]becoming a professional polo player.
[5:26]I was at some point going to use my degree in economics and also wanted to return back
[5:30]to Philadelphia.
[5:31]I got an internship in Philly as a financial analyst and that was the first time actually
[5:36]lead and I met up because we, I guess, prior to that, it's been a lot of time online.
[5:41]I heard about her through family and friends, a lot of folks were just saying, you know,
[5:47]you need to meet this wonderful girl, Lily, she's beautiful, she's amazing writer.
[5:51]And I had to check out, I had to go online and check her out and see what everyone was
[5:54]talking about.
[5:55]And it actually turned out to be true.
[5:58]She is an incredibly gorgeous woman who was also happened to be an amazing writer.
[6:03]So, you know, we spent, I guess, several months trying to find time to meet up, but life
[6:10]happens in the summer of 2014.
[6:12]I finally came back to Philadelphia and she was home writing and so we connected in that
[6:17]summer.
[6:18]It was probably one of the best summers of my life because I met the love of my life at
[6:22]that time that being Lily.
[6:24]And then I was also playing polo and then at the same time, I was finally getting some
[6:29]real-world job experience and, you know, as a financial analyst or at least as an intern
[6:34]for the summer.
[6:35]Because prior to that, I spent every summer writing horses playing polo and to me, that
[6:40]wasn't really a job.
[6:41]It was just something that I was doing, something that I loved and so it was about time
[6:45]to do something new.
[6:47]So, Lily and I connected that summer and the first day was incredible.
[6:51]I just remember it was the first time I really like fell in love with a woman and also
[6:56]became obsessed with someone.
[6:57]I don't think I really ever talked about how obsessed I was with Lily.
[7:01]I just kind of kept playing it cool.
[7:03]Like she is, she still is just as incredible human.
[7:07]I mean, yes, physically she was amazing, but just who she was as a person was incredible.
[7:13]So we spent that summer getting to know each other.
[7:16]She met my family.
[7:17]We rode together.
[7:18]It was the first time I really got a chance to ride with a girl that I fell in love
[7:22]with.
[7:23]And we had so many things in common despite, you know, our backgrounds, the bike differences
[7:27]in our backgrounds that she grew up, you know, in the wealth of Pennsylvania and the
[7:31]countryside and I grew up in the University of Philadelphia.
[7:34]We were just, in many ways, opposite, but, you know, obviously our love for horses.
[7:40]And also, what I later learned is Lily's love for just giving back.
[7:44]She was just a special human, you know, and the big thing that really, I guess, drew
[7:49]me to her is her comfort around my family and friends.
[7:52]We grew up as I said, mentioned that you're different backgrounds, but because I saw
[7:56]how comfortable she was around my family, it just made me fall in love even more.
[8:00]No.
[8:01]It's okay.
[8:02]I mean, it's not.
[8:03]Yeah.
[8:04]Yeah.
[8:05]Yeah.
[8:06]Yeah.
[8:07]Yeah.
[8:08]Yeah.
[8:09]You know, and so the summer went by and then I eventually went back to school and went
[8:12]to Colorado State, yeah, I finished in my time to Colorado State University there.
[8:18]And then we started our long distance relationship.
[8:20]And so, you know, during that time, it was, as I talked about, there were so many challenges
[8:25]of being in a long distance relationship.
[8:26]You know, for me, I, I talk about methodology, which was, you know, honestly, very embarrassing
[8:34]and hard to talk about, but it was part of our story and I thought it was important to
[8:37]share as, you know, many people deal with, you know, long distance relationships and
[8:43]struggle with monogamy and those things.
[8:45]And so that was something that was a, I was a challenge for me.
[8:48]What we got through our, our time while it was at Colorado State University.
[8:54]And then eventually I graduated in 2016, which was an incredible year being first of my
[9:00]family to graduate way of college.
[9:04]And I moved back to Philly, excited to start a life with Lee Lee.
[9:09]It was the first time that we were going to be together in the same place, not dealing
[9:14]with going back to school.
[9:16]She was just accepted to the University of Pennsylvania where she started a master's program
[9:21]in social work.
[9:22]I started my first job in finance as an analyst.
[9:25]I was living in downtown Philly.
[9:27]Like life was perfect.
[9:28]Life was great.
[9:29]It was everything that I dreamed of as a kid was finally coming to life.
[9:34]And I had my dream grow, I had my dream apartment.
[9:37]I was near my family.
[9:39]I finally had money in my bank account or at least a consistent income.
[9:44]So there was so many things that I was happy about and, you know, then I got back, I returned
[9:49]back to Philly and started to deal with the inevitable struggles around being home, being
[9:55]close to the neighborhoods that grew up in, that was, you know, our, that is.
[10:00]I guess should say, you know, it's a very tough place to grow up and very easily to get
[10:04]in a very easily get pulled back in. And so, you know, I was dealing with those struggles
[10:09]so Lili and I broke up for a bit and then eventually, you know, I said, this is where I'm
[10:15]done breaking up with you. We're going to be together forever and we're all done. And then
[10:21]December of 22nd and 2016, it was one of the worst days of my life. You know, I get a phone call
[10:28]from Lili's stepfather Philip Dutton, who tells me that Lili's been in the horrible writing
[10:35]accident. And, you know, at that time, all I knew was that Lili fell off a horse and she had
[10:41]her head and she was being better back to Christianity Hospital in Delaware. I had every thought
[10:48]running through my mind on the sheer live, you know, did I just lose the love of my life,
[10:54]what's happening, knowing information. And I showed up and, you know, I was greeted by her
[11:00]parents or both her stepdad or her biological father or mother and sisters. And the doctor
[11:07]walked in and said that Lili may not survive. And yeah, I just lost it. We all lost it and I broke
[11:14]down and, you know, prior to Lili's accident, I suffered a lot of loss that you obviously learned
[11:20]about in the book. But this was a different type of loss. You know, this was the first time,
[11:24]you know, where I almost lost the one that I thought was going to marry, right? So in many ways,
[11:30]I felt like we were already married. And then that phone call, it changed my life forever,
[11:34]it changed her life forever, it changed her family's life forever. And, you know, we were here.
[11:41]And, you know, the one thing that I said to Lili when she was in an ICU, was that if she decided to
[11:50]that I will always be by her side, no matter what. And that's what I've been done for the last
[11:54]eight years is sticking by her side as her, as her now just very, very good friend.
[12:02]I feel like you're more than just her very good friend. The two of you have a relationship
[12:08]that is so special and different with a history that there are no adequate words that could
[12:14]sum it up. And I know from finishing the book and everything how you are in your life. Now,
[12:20]I kind of don't want to give it away because as I read it, I was like, it was such a joy to get
[12:25]to the end and see your whole journey. But it's, and I know you've had such a hard time and I'm not
[12:31]going to ever say moving on because you're not going to move on ever Lili's a part of you and
[12:35]your love for her will never go away. But even just reducing the time for your visits was
[12:42]challenged and Dr. Berman, I guess, was such a huge help and being like, it's okay. It's okay
[12:47]that you're going to have your life. And it's that that's not any sort of betrayal. And it's not
[12:53]going back on your word. It's something that it's a gift you have to sort of play out and
[13:00]hopefully, you know, she would want that as well. And I know you've reclaimed that but the journey
[13:06]to getting there and how you struggled through that and made sense of it and came to terms of it
[13:11]and wrote it all down so that the rest of us could read it. I mean, that is amazing. It's
[13:16]really amazing. So when did you start writing about any of this? Like, when did you realize that
[13:22]would help if it did? Yeah. So honestly, during the first one, when I asked her in the first
[13:29]happened and it even like a few years as Drara recovery, I didn't write about it at all really. I
[13:35]just took a lot of photos. I mean, between when she's in a rehab, when she came home, when she went
[13:42]back into the rehab, a lot of videos, a lot of photos. But I know her mother, Evie, she did a lot
[13:48]of writing in her journal. But for me, I was just moving so fast and like there were so many other
[13:54]things going on too. And my way of being present is not necessarily just writing things down. It's
[13:59]physically being with that person. It's holding that person. It's going through the rough days,
[14:04]going through the great days, you know, holding her up at therapy, holding her head, you know,
[14:09]her hand by her bedside, feeding her, going on walks. I just wanted to be present. I wanted to be
[14:15]here with her. And when I was alone, you know, honestly, I was suffering. And I was just struggling
[14:20]with my mental health. And you know, I would sometimes isolate myself or I would go and
[14:25]spend time with my friends. But I never, never sat down and did any writing. It wasn't really
[14:30]up until, you know, I ended up going back to my agent, Emma, and, you know, telling her I'm
[14:37]ready to actually start the writing process where I spent time starting to put my thoughts together
[14:43]looking at photos going back to, you know, I guess several gone back several years and reliving
[14:50]those experiences because I knew that it would be painful to relive them to look at some of those
[14:56]photos that bring back some of those memories that I didn't want it to relive. But at the same
[15:00]time, I realized that it was very, very important to do it. If it's to simply just help other
[15:05]people. And I did it in a way where I didn't want to hold anything back. But I told myself that
[15:10]if I was going to write this book, I was going to be incredibly vulnerable. I wasn't being
[15:14]incredibly honest. And I wasn't going to hold anything back because I didn't think it would do any
[15:19]justice to folks that I would hope to help heal at some point. Wow. But how did you end up with an
[15:24]agent and a book deal before you wrote anything? You just knew you wanted to write it at some
[15:29]point or you went out with it. So I actually wrote, this is my second memoir. So my first one is
[15:35]called Crossing the Line. So I've been with my agent now for over I guess seven years. So this is,
[15:42]this is my second book. So Emma and I have already established relationship. And then Emma,
[15:47]you know, said whenever you're ready to write the second one, let's get it done. Got it. Okay,
[15:52]sorry about that. I'm so sorry. I read every word of this book, but I didn't realize you'd
[15:56]read another book. It's okay. It's okay. You'll have to check it out. It's going to check it out
[16:03]because now I'm kind of like obsessed with how you write and your whole story and your life and
[16:08]all of that. So I will definitely go back and read that as well. My gosh. You write really well
[16:15]and very openly about your panic attacks and your mother's panic attack and, you know, that you
[16:22]have this beautiful conversation together about, you know, when you both realize that you have,
[16:29]you've both had panic attacks, but never really talked about it to later in your life and
[16:33]how you cope with anxiety and how it wasn't the thing to go get therapy and all that in your
[16:40]background and everything. Talk about learning and coping with the fact that you have this
[16:46]predisposition and how you manage it even today. Yeah, absolutely. So I think, you know, in my
[16:52]my first book, I set it up a little bit with my anxiety and also wrote about Mecca in my first book
[16:58]as well. But, you know, when I, I really, I learned about my anxiety. I guess I didn't learn looking
[17:05]back on it. I couldn't figure out when I started to have panic attacks and anxiety was back when
[17:11]I was a nine year old boy. When I lost my friend, I'm Mecca Harris when her father and her mother
[17:18]role executed in their basement. I'm back in 2003. That was the first time when I realized that
[17:24]I wasn't safe as a kid that kids can also die and bullets weren't just meant for adults.
[17:30]And I also recall just that period of time in my life, there were a string of murders
[17:36]that occurred and there were probably a handful of kids that died and I was very aware of
[17:42]kids dying at a young age. And when I became aware of that, it was, that's when I started to have
[17:48]anxiety and I was having trouble breathing at night. I was afraid to sleep in the dark.
[17:54]I was afraid to, you know, leave my front porch because of the risk of getting shot.
[17:59]And at that time, I thought I was just, I just had respiratory issues. And, you know, that I
[18:05]maybe had asthma because I know asthma is something that ran out of my family. And so I spent time
[18:10]going to the doctors and the doctors had nothing wrong with you. You're absolutely fine.
[18:15]Never came up that I may have any mental health issues or anything around anxiety.
[18:19]I didn't even know anything about anxiety until later in life. And then, you know, as I
[18:24]eventually got older and went through, you know, my different, I guess, levels of education
[18:30]in high school and college, I would have panic attacks, but still didn't really have a name for
[18:35]me. It was just, you know, something that was going on my life and I would just get over it.
[18:41]But not really. It wasn't really until I met Ellen, my therapist, that I truly started to
[18:47]understand anxiety and inability to breathe or to feel like the world is collapsing on you,
[18:53]you know, and my mom at that time, you know, my mom's now is probably what I think five,
[18:58]one or five years sober, five or six years sober. And she spent a lot of her time dealing with
[19:03]her anxiety depression with by just using. So, you know, she also doesn't have a vocabulary,
[19:11]didn't have a vocabulary to even explain how I may have felt at a particular time,
[19:15]because she didn't even know how she was feeling. She was just using to deal with her trauma.
[19:21]And I also didn't understand how trauma has informed my later years in life and how it has,
[19:27]you know, all the negative effects that it has on me today. There were so many things that I just
[19:33]didn't know that I wasn't aware of. I didn't have the vocabulary, you know, I didn't really
[19:37]know what depression meant. Again, you always at least where I grew up, you know, if you were sad,
[19:42]you were told to shut that up and move on and keep on with your day, right? So, I've been
[19:47]conditioned this certain way to live as this strong masculine black man who, you know,
[19:54]shoveled their problems under a mattress. But fortunately, you know, when I graduate, it's
[20:00]school, my boss, Joe Mannheim, you know, introduced me to Ellen and it was definitely
[20:07]much needed just because of it wasn't able to function at work. I didn't couldn't think
[20:12]clear and it was obvious that I needed help. And when I met Ellen, it just, I learned so much
[20:18]about myself. But simply just being able to take the vocabulary and apply it or understand it
[20:26]and understand, you know, my feelings and my thoughts and, you know, why am I having a difficult
[20:32]time breathing, you know, how an incident from 12 years ago is affecting me today,
[20:39]how all of these things that I just started to learn about myself and learn about anxiety.
[20:44]But the other piece was that, you know, that I learned about myself, which was thought was really
[20:49]cool. So I use my anxiety to get me to where I am today, right? So there are pieces of anxiety
[20:54]that are actually good, right? Not all anxiety is bad. Anxiety, it let's, you know, it forms us
[20:59]that we're human, we're alive, you know, it helps us, you know, protect ourselves in many ways.
[21:05]And then there's a piece of anxiety that is too much, right? New York, you're in that constant
[21:10]fighter flight move, right? That becomes overwhelming mentally, you know, physically, right? So
[21:16]you started learning about these things and now that my mom is sober, we spent so much time
[21:21]talking about our anxiety and our past. And, you know, I'm now coaching my mom through her therapy
[21:28]sessions or the personal therapy sessions that we have with each other. You know, the other day,
[21:33]I was explaining to my mom, you know, the dopamine chemical and how it naturally occurs and,
[21:38]you know, why you feel good when you work, when you work out versus, you know, the whole
[21:43]fighter flight thing. And I was explaining that to her, like, that could become overwhelming
[21:48]and your brain is on overdrive. And so all these things that was never in our world or resources
[21:55]that we had access to. And now we do. So we spend time talking about it a lot in. So my anxiety
[22:02]has not gone away, but I use it all the time to motivate me, but it's now in the place where I can
[22:07]manage it. Wow. I mean, that's like the therapy success story of all time, right? That is exactly
[22:16]why therapy exists to give people the tools to manage their emotions, to communicate, to identify,
[22:22]to realize that they're not alone and all of that. And I guess, you know, a fabulous book comes out of
[22:27]it. That's not the worst thing they can happen. So can you just give me the, the postscript to the
[22:32]whole book? Like, what is your life like now? What like, are you still in finance? Like, tell me your,
[22:37]your story. Yeah. So I am, I'm no longer in finance. I actually transitioned out of my analyst role
[22:45]I'm now working full-time at the charity that I grew up in work to write as the executive vice
[22:49]president. I have been leading many of the development efforts there. We're just wrapping up a $15
[22:55]million campaign that I let embrace money for on to help build and do indoor riding pole
[23:02]facility at our site in Philadelphia and west from on park. I'm helping institutionalize your organization
[23:09]and build an auto succession plan for our, our charity. I still go and visit really very
[23:16]alternate. I see her about twice a month now. I'll miss you with learning the book. I was there
[23:20]almost every day. I wouldn't saw her the other day. So so very, very close with her. She is doing
[23:28]very well, you know, in her recovery. We would, you know, we would have loved to see more
[23:33]recovery, but she is who she is today. And we love her the same. And as I said before, I, you know,
[23:40]have continued to stick by her side. And I will continue to stick by her side. One of the other
[23:44]exciting things is I joined the board of the, um, the, uh, rehab hospital with the brim or
[23:50]rehab hospital foundation where we lead, uh, spent majority of our time recovering. Um, we are in
[23:56]the, uh, we actually are in the process of finalizing setting up a, uh, patient's assistance fund
[24:01]and leeley's name. So, uh, that fund on the endowment fund will go and support other TBI, uh,
[24:08]families and in patients who unfortunately will suffer, uh, TBIs. One of the things, one of my goals
[24:15]as a member of the board was to figure out how to give folks access to a place like brim
[24:20]or rehab. It is a very, very, very special place. There's a special place in my heart and then,
[24:27]you know, in just a simple factor how it has helped leeley. So I want to be able to make sure
[24:31]that we can give other folks access to that. So, um, we have a goal of raising $50,000 to see the
[24:37]endowment within the next few months. But my goal is to grow that endowment as much as we possibly
[24:42]can. Um, I'm going to commit, um, percentage of my book proceeds to the endowment and
[24:47]perpetuity. So to help that grow and support, uh, folks there. I am, uh, I have a, have a daughter
[24:54]now, um, married. And, uh, so I'm very, very happy about that. And so I'm, you know, living my
[25:02]life, raising my daughter and spending time with my family who is essentially just an extension
[25:08]of leeley's family. So we blended our families and, um, I'm really, really excited about that to
[25:14]just be able to share these moments that I thought I would have with leeley just the two of us.
[25:20]Now, uh, get to, get to building my family and spend time, um, with leeley in that way. And,
[25:26]uh, yeah. So now I'm, I'm, you know, now I'm just, uh, wrapping up, uh, I guess not wrapping up,
[25:32]but starting the tour of the new book and getting and releasing the new book and hoping that it
[25:36]just lands. Uh, and the hands of people who really needed most in, I, I learned it. There's a lot
[25:44]of folks who would benefit from reading this book. It doesn't matter if you're, you know,
[25:49]our staff family member had a, you know, TBI or or anything. But I think they're just touch on so
[25:55]many important points in life that eventually someone will go through. Um, and so I'm just,
[26:00]I'm really, really excited to get it out there. And I just want to encourage people to pick up the
[26:04]book, uh, not because I just want to have books else, but I truly genuinely just want the book to
[26:10]help, um, whoever I think, uh, may need it. When they're ready, they will read it. Exactly. Exactly.
[26:17]And just quickly, like, what was the experience like for you to write through your life and
[26:22]relive it? And was it cathartic? Did you cry writing it? Did you feel a sense of closure
[26:29]having written about it? Like what was this experience like for you? Yeah, it was, it was, I'm
[26:34]honestly, I appreciate it was an emotional roller coaster really, you know, if stuff like authority,
[26:39]you know, there were moments where I was just incredibly sad, uh, the reports, the book where,
[26:44]you know, I had to just stop reading for a second of writing and thinking about it, uh,
[26:48]just because it was just a tough moment. Um, I actually recently did the audio for the book,
[26:53]and it was my, I didn't do the audio for my first book. And, uh, I, I imagine it would be a difficult
[27:01]process for on many levels. Um, but it was, it was very, very emotional. I think I probably
[27:09]had to stop a thousand times because I couldn't stop crying. Um, as I was, as I was reading the book,
[27:15]but just going through the writing process, yeah, it was just, it was an emotional roller coaster.
[27:20]And at the end of it, I was very proud of the work and, and what was done and, and happy. And now
[27:27]I just, I just hope that people pick up the book and just, and read it and understand that, um,
[27:33]life doesn't always go as planned. And that's okay. Right. You can get back up,
[27:39]you can find a new path, you can find new love. Um, I think our viewers online in the book,
[27:45]I talk about how love is not static, right? Um, they transforms. And that's one of the things that
[27:51]I want people to understand, uh, um, you know, sometimes, uh, loss just brings new opportunity.
[27:58]And one of the things that I always talk about is I can always find good and bad situations.
[28:03]Like, I always look for the good and bad situations. Um, I'm more of a, um, of a big glass
[28:09]that's half full type of guy. You know, and so I've done all the good things in really
[28:14]situation, heart of my situation with Lee Lee and the accident. You know, I think it just,
[28:20]yeah, there were so many, there were so many, I guess things I could pick out and talk about
[28:24]that I thought were, that were good. And that sounds weird about, you know, how do you find good
[28:29]in the horrible situation with someone as a traumatic brain injury, but there were so many good
[28:34]things that I came, you know, just the, the new people that I've met at the hospital and the other,
[28:38]you know, friends and family leads that I've never met before, the new relationship that I
[28:42]built over time. So there were so many, uh, great things that, um, have come from the book,
[28:47]but I guess the one way of answering the writing process, um, yeah, it was a emotional roller
[28:51]coaster, but I'm very, very happy that I did it. And, um, I just hope again, I just really hope
[28:56]that it benefits more folks and just myself. It absolutely will. The book is so good. I am sure
[29:03]it will find its audience a very wide audience. It's so compelling and emotional and inspiring.
[29:11]I really loved it. Great job on the book. And also, sorry about David. I mean, all of your losses.
[29:18]I'm just, Kareem, I just, if we were here, I would give you a huge hug that she needed me.
[29:24]I'm sure you would love it. But I just, you know, you can't not want to give you a hug after reading
[29:29]this book. So congratulations. Thank you for writing it. And I am just so rooting for you in life
[29:36]and for you to have all the happiness you deserve. You're such a good guy and such a giver. And it's
[29:41]just really beautiful to see. So thank you. Thank you. I appreciate it. And, uh, thanks for
[29:45]picking up the book and reading it and helping me share, uh, with the world, you know, yeah,
[29:50]again, it's, uh, it's an exciting time. And I'm, I'm looking forward to seeing, uh, you know,
[29:56]what's the count? Anything. All right. We'll congratulations.
[30:00]Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate it. All right. Good luck. Yes. Good luck with everything. Thank you.
[30:04]You too. Thank you. Bye bye.
[30:06]Thank you for listening to totally booked with Zibi, formerly momstone have time to read books.
[30:11]If you loved the show, tell a friend, leave a review, follow me on Instagram at Zibi Owens
[30:17]and spread the word. Thanks so much. Go and buy the books.