Christie Brinkley, UPTOWN GIRL: A Memoir
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[0:44]Kristi Prinkley is the author of Uptown Girl, a memoir.
[0:49]Kristi is a model, actress, entrepreneur, illustrator, photographer, humanitarian, best-selling
[0:54]author, smile train ambassador, activist in children's environmental health and wellness, creator
[1:00]and owner of Velissima, wines, and perseco, and the clothing line, TWR H-L-L, and proud
[1:08]mom of three amazing kids.
[1:10]In her five decades in the modeling industry, Kristi Prinkley has been photographed on
[1:15]six continents in more than 30 countries, and has appeared in more than 500 magazine
[1:20]covers worldwide.
[1:21]She lives in the Hamptons.
[1:22]Welcome, Kristi.
[1:23]Thank you so much for coming on Totally Book to Zibi to talk about Uptown Girl, a memoir.
[1:30]So please, to be here, thank you for having me.
[1:32]Oh, it's my pleasure.
[1:34]What a journey.
[1:35]There are so many surprising things in this book.
[1:39]I feel like it is such a wild ride.
[1:42]I had to buckle my seatbelt.
[1:44]Oh, yes.
[1:46]I was really taken by just how much grief and loss and sort of trauma has been in your
[1:52]life.
[1:53]You have had, yes, of course, so much glamour and success professionally and all that.
[1:59]All these sort of unlucky things.
[2:02]How can maybe you could talk a little bit about that and just how you find the strength
[2:08]to always just keep going?
[2:10]Well, you know, it's funny because in retrospect, I feel that it's like you say unlucky,
[2:16]but I feel like some of the bad things, if they hadn't happened, the next great thing
[2:23]wouldn't have happened and I'm seeing now, as I put it all together, that it really
[2:30]has been an opportunity to find the silver linings in all those bad things and either
[2:39]learn from it and find out about my own strength that I didn't know that I had or allow
[2:46]it to propel me kind of in a, oh, yeah, I'll show you kind of way.
[2:52]So I don't think of them.
[2:54]I think of them almost like a good thing now, like a gift that propelled me onto the
[3:00]next thing.
[3:01]Well, that's a, it's a lovely attitude, but I just, you know, some of the abuse that you
[3:06]faced as a young age, losing Olivier the times you almost died.
[3:13]I mean, the stalker, the hulker outside your room and creeds and it just like, I just
[3:19]couldn't believe one thing.
[3:20]And you're just like, and then I just picked up and did the next thing.
[3:23]So it's a lot.
[3:25]And it's really amazing to, and those are the stories that made it.
[3:30]There are so many more that, you know, that's the thing.
[3:35]When you wait until you're 70 to write your, your memoir, it's just not all going to fit
[3:41]in the book.
[3:42]It's just not.
[3:44]So I have, I have a lot of stories that that I, I couldn't fit in there because my publishers
[3:51]knew kind of the right size of book, otherwise it could be intimidating, do expensive.
[3:58]And so we had to sort of pick and choose and, but I think that it was a good idea.
[4:04]And I think that somehow people are relating to it and are giving me such positive feedback
[4:14]it is really great because when you do put it all out there, the good, the bad, the ugly,
[4:23]and you feel very vulnerable the day before it's coming out like, you know, what if it
[4:29]just sits there and you know, what if nobody gets it, what if what if.
[4:35]But I'm so relieved it has been so wonderfully received.
[4:42]Well, I am, I'm not surprised.
[4:44]Thank you for, it's a privilege that you shared your whole life with us.
[4:47]You know, one another thing I was struck by is is your humbleness throughout everything.
[4:53]And you had a quote in the book that said, during my 50 years as a model, I've always assumed
[4:58]that every job I've ever had would be my last had to tell you about that.
[5:03]This attitude like, oh, this was great, but you know, I'm sure this is, this is the end
[5:07]of the line.
[5:08]Like that kind of attitude.
[5:09]Definitely.
[5:10]I thought, well, you know, I'm going to say yes because this may be the last time anybody
[5:16]asked me and then I'd go in with the attitude of, well, I better make it good because
[5:22]this is the last one and you know, something to remember.
[5:26]And I think that it kind of worked for me because I gave it my all and then miraculously
[5:34]there'd be another job and another job and it wasn't until I realized that there
[5:40]was actually a possibility that I could actually make a go of this thing.
[5:47]Then I got very nervous about it.
[5:49]Like once I decided, okay, I'm doing this and I'm going to like, I'm going to become
[5:56]a model.
[5:57]I'm going to eat nothing and I'm going to exercise and I'm going to really try and
[6:02]to succeed.
[6:03]Then I got anxiety because I think it's, it's almost better to look at it like a one
[6:10]off because really now is all you really know that you have.
[6:14]That's true.
[6:16]Well, I appreciated the times when you're like, and then I had a lot of anxiety.
[6:20]So I finally decided to say about it, you do like a couple different points in your life.
[6:24]And I'm like, okay, I can understand that.
[6:27]Look at all this.
[6:30]One thing you didn't really talk that much about in the book is how it feels having
[6:35]been a model and having, even though you, you know, you have a very like, I'm so lucky
[6:40]this happened and it was not like your goal in life to be a model or anything.
[6:44]How it feels having, you know, aging and being in the public eye and having to cope with
[6:50]all the stuff that we all have to deal with both publicly and because of your role with
[6:54]the beauty world.
[6:55]How do you feel about that?
[6:57]I think it's a really interesting time to age because aging never had so many options.
[7:05]It's like, it's like optional now if you want to age or not, you know, that's up to you.
[7:13]And so I think, I think we see examples all around us of aging, not aging gracefully,
[7:25]aging like aging yourself because you're trying so hard not to age and it's actually
[7:34]making you look older than you are.
[7:36]I mean, it's very interesting.
[7:38]So with all the options out there, there's a lot of talk about aging.
[7:45]And also we are the generation like that my age and I would say 10 years below, we'll
[7:53]even 20 years below me and up, we're really the generation that is changing the way
[8:00]we think about those numbers because this is an industry that told me I'd be chewed up
[8:07]and spit out at 30.
[8:10]And at 30, I remember I was on top of a mountain I had just hyped and I never felt better
[8:16]and I was like so much for your idea of, you know, chewing up and spitting out.
[8:23]And there were moments where the business, my beauty business, my, you know, fashion
[8:30]and beauty world no longer was like so sending me offers all day long and all of that.
[8:38]And it was kind of up to us to create ourselves and talk about aging and talk about representation,
[8:49]it's like the industry has spread its arms so beautifully to be accepting and to actually
[8:57]help people see beauty in all sizes, all shapes, all colors, ethnicities, but ages like
[9:06]the last frontier.
[9:08]It really remains the last frontier and everybody's aging in their own individual ways.
[9:16]And I think that all those different ways should be represented and discussed because, you
[9:22]know, there are so many options now.
[9:25]And so I think it, as I said, I think it's kind of an interesting time to be aging in America.
[9:31]Absolutely.
[9:32]A hundred percent.
[9:34]And what is it like bringing up?
[9:36]So your daughter, Alexa Ray, I was her counselor a long time ago in a day camp out in
[9:44]I was like a CIT at the time and she was in my group and it was so cute, like watching
[9:49]whatever little performances and whatever.
[9:52]Oh my gosh, in the city or in the country, yeah, he's tamped and it doesn't
[10:00]It was like a tiny, can't be stamped in day camp or something.
[10:03]Yes, yes.
[10:04]Oh, she so terrified to go there.
[10:07]She would cry like the whole way there and then she would get there and always had fun.
[10:12]She'd always come back like, we have fun.
[10:17]She did not want to go there.
[10:20]Well, you write about her and your and your other kids in the book and I'm wondering how you handle
[10:26]sort of being in the public eye and then when things happen with your kids,
[10:30]you touch on this in the book, you know, when she had so much heartbreak and how supportive you were of that
[10:35]and, you know, as a mom of for myself that really, you know, hit home to me.
[10:40]Like, how do you go through those moments?
[10:42]A, in public and just be as a mom.
[10:45]Yeah, you know, having kids is probably one of the areas that's the toughest,
[10:50]dealing with a certain amount of celebrity
[10:53]and the scrutiny that goes along with it is hard when that overlaps and they start scrutinizing your kids and comparing.
[11:04]And that really hurts really.
[11:07]It's the one thing that I can say has been the biggest bummer of being, you know, sort of famous.
[11:16]It is that because you never want what you're doing to hurt anybody.
[11:23]And Alexa, you know, she really got hurt by things that the media would say about her and continued to say about her through the years.
[11:36]It was really hard on her and it really affected her.
[11:41]And I think it's really hard.
[11:45]My other two came 10 years later and sailor who got compared to me for looking like me had, you know, also difficulty with that.
[11:58]Because she struggled with her weight and she dabbled in modeling.
[12:05]She didn't really love it.
[12:07]It wasn't her thing.
[12:08]But when she was younger and she dabbled in it, she thought, now I have to look like a model and I have to lose weight.
[12:17]But it was rough on her too and she got a needing disorder and she got like anorexic and it's just tough.
[12:26]So now I say to them, look at somebody like Kate Hudson who's so well adjusted.
[12:34]She's got Goldie Han, super famous, like really, really famous and Kurt Russell as her dad and her stepdad.
[12:43]And she just keeps doing things.
[12:47]Like she never lets any of the press bother her or catch up to her.
[12:53]If anybody ever dared call her a nepo baby or whatever, she just like shrugs it off and is on to the next thing.
[13:02]So I try and just say to them, don't even read the press for starters.
[13:09]And like not the press, but the letters are the people right, you know.
[13:15]Although I must say, I think we have a very nice group of people on our Instagram.
[13:20]I rarely see anybody being mean there.
[13:23]I think it's just all beautiful souls.
[13:26]But it has been, you know, difficult to get through all of that.
[13:31]And really I think the best advice that I can give is to just keep charging ahead and don't let anything slow you down.
[13:40]And if they say I say to Alexa, if they say you're a nepo baby because you're saying it's like, do they say to the kid who's dad, you know, owns the hardware store.
[13:51]And he takes over the hardware store, said a nepo baby.
[13:55]It's like it's a family business.
[13:57]Like you grew up on a sound stage or on the edge of Madison Square Garden stage.
[14:04]That's your life.
[14:06]That's how you grew up.
[14:07]Of course, that's going to be an influence.
[14:09]And of course, you're going to want to go into showbiz yourself.
[14:13]And, you know, so what?
[14:15]Nepo baby is just a term that means your parents were in showbiz.
[14:20]So run with it.
[14:23]Who cares.
[14:25]You also wrote about another book you found useful about divorcing a narcissist and dealing with narcissistic personalities.
[14:35]What's your, what's your advisor experience there that's of something that affects so many people?
[14:42]Yes.
[14:43]Well, luckily there are resources now that will connect you to other people that are going through similar things.
[14:51]When I was going through my last divorce, there was very little information on narcissism and what that really means.
[14:59]And now, luckily there, there are resources and specifically divorcing, divorcing a narcissist.
[15:08]And one mom's battle website will help people navigate these waters.
[15:14]Not feel like they're crazy.
[15:17]Not feel alone.
[15:19]Because it is a long haul battle that you're going to face.
[15:23]It's very, very hard to divorce a narcissist because they can't have a chink in their armor.
[15:30]They can't have a chip that's anything less than perfect.
[15:34]And you're putting that chip there, that chink in their armor.
[15:38]And so they need to destroy you.
[15:41]And so that's really hard to deal with.
[15:45]So I'm glad that there are resources now.
[15:49]And Tina Swift and has written these, like several books now.
[15:54]And as I mentioned, has a very good website and Instagram and can help people understand what they're up against.
[16:03]Amazing.
[16:04]So I had another best-selling book come out years ago.
[16:08]And now, this book of Tan Girl is a New York Times bestseller. Congratulations.
[16:13]Thank you.
[16:14]How have you found the industry to have changed in those intervening years?
[16:19]I know the books are quite different.
[16:21]But what do you think?
[16:22]Well, the books are very different.
[16:24]Like, I've had two beauty books out before.
[16:28]Both of them were on the New York Times bestseller list.
[16:31]My first one stayed there for a while because it was supported by a diet coke commercial that had me reading my book cover open like this.
[16:43]And then dropping the book to see me behind the book and sipping my diet coke, which was new on the market.
[16:52]And we thought that was so good for you.
[16:55]So that was a big seller.
[16:58]And I, when it came to the memoir, I was told it's extremely hard to get in this category.
[17:06]It's extremely hard to get on the best sellers list.
[17:10]So do not be discouraged.
[17:12]It's, you know, it may not happen.
[17:15]And then we came out of the box and we went to number four.
[17:18]And I was like,
[17:20]it was really great because, you know, I did put it all out there.
[17:27]And I felt like the night before it was going to hit the book stores and everything.
[17:35]I was feeling kind of vulnerable.
[17:39]And I felt like what if nobody cares and what if nobody picks it up?
[17:43]What if they all think, oh my gosh, you've been around 50 years.
[17:47]We know all there is to know about her.
[17:50]And I just, I thought I could just picture the piles of books just sitting there.
[17:55]And I was like, oh, but my goodness, people have been so, so sweet.
[18:04]So lovely.
[18:06]They're connecting with the material.
[18:08]I'm getting letters nonstop in my Instagram and real reviews,
[18:14]like, you know, that are really glowing.
[18:17]And people are saying the nicest things.
[18:20]Like, I didn't want it to end.
[18:22]And I picked it up and I couldn't put it down.
[18:25]And I sat and read it in two days.
[18:28]And I'm nearing the end.
[18:31]So I'm savoring it now.
[18:33]I don't want it to end.
[18:34]So I'm reading.
[18:35]I'm only allotting myself two pages a day.
[18:39]So I can make it last.
[18:41]And then one person wrote, your book makes me want to get up and live.
[18:47]And I just, you know, it's just really, it's better than I ever could have imagined.
[18:55]The speed back has just been so great.
[18:59]I am so grateful to everybody that's written to let me know how much they liked it.
[19:05]It means so much to me.
[19:07]And I'm really grateful to everybody.
[19:10]Thank you, everybody.
[19:11]If you're listening to that.
[19:12]When you were worrying that night before it came out and feeling quite vulnerable,
[19:17]was there one part that you were like, Oh, should I not have put that in?
[19:21]Yeah.
[19:22]Well, I heart that just stressed me the most because I never, ever want to hurt him is about Billy.
[19:28]And, you know, I don't like to ever say anything bad about anybody.
[19:34]And so I tried to, but I needed to explain myself like why would I ever have walked away from that relationship that was so wonderful.
[19:45]That was so just beautiful.
[19:49]So, but there was something that I couldn't compete with that I tried.
[19:56]And I tried to come at it every angle.
[20:00]how and, you know, I tried to make our life as perfect as I could. His life is perfect
[20:08]as I could. And I tried, but I had to do some, you know, just preserve my own soul at
[20:19]that time. And so I had to walk away. But I had to also write so that people understood
[20:27]why. And I think that in context, I make it clear that he was under a kind of stress
[20:36]that people no one should have to deal with the kind of stress that he was under, extenuating
[20:42]circumstances that were really awful. And so obviously it doesn't excuse, you know, there
[20:50]there is the disease and there's, but it kind of explains why that God out of hand.
[20:58]But I, I worried about that, you know, I just don't want to ever hurt anybody.
[21:04]And how has it landed? Have you gotten, have you heard from him?
[21:08]I'm about it. When it first came out the first day, it sounded like some sort of revenge
[21:14]off of all the way. It was being perceived like written about in the press. And so I had to
[21:22]explain to the press that I didn't like it being lifting, you know, we were together for 12 years.
[21:32]We dated the first year and lived together. We were engaged the next year. And then we were
[21:38]married for whatever the years. And so during that time, I have like maybe four instances
[21:47]in the book of where, you know, his behavior hurt me. And I explained it. And in context,
[21:56]I think it's understandable. Out of context, I had to say, hey, this is not a revenge memoir.
[22:03]This is not written with the purpose of hurting anybody. So please don't pluck things and make
[22:13]it seem like out of context that I'm just complaining because I think I made it very clear
[22:21]how magical my time with him was. I thought you wrote about it with a lot of respect.
[22:27]I really do. I mean, you're not the only woman who has had to deal with a spouse who has,
[22:33]you know, alcohol or drug problems. And, you know, I felt you were very compassionate. And you
[22:39]even showed us some of the reasons why he was under all that stress. So I didn't take it that way,
[22:44]having read it, just saying. Good. Well, that's what I'm hearing also. People are like, no,
[22:50]I actually was always a Billy Joel fan. And I love him even more after reading your book.
[22:57]But I'm hearing from most people. Let's get. I'm so glad. Okay. Well, Christy, thank you so much.
[23:04]I really loved it. I loved learning about you and all the things I never knew and you're speaking
[23:10]French and being an artist and photographer. And just like your whole story, your deep love for
[23:15]your parents. And I mean, it was just really, it was quite a ride. So thank you for that. Thank you
[23:20]for sharing it. Thank you so much for your time today. And, and for reading my book and,
[23:27]and giving me such a nice review. Thank you. All right. Thanks a lot. Okay. Bye bye.
[23:34]I'm gonna tell it's just fair. Thank you for listening to totally booked with Zibi.
[23:40]Formerly, mom's don't have time to read books. If you loved the show, tell a friend,
[23:45]leave a review, follow me on Instagram at Zibi Owens, and spread the word. Thanks so much.
[23:51]Oh, and bye the books.