Zibby's 9/11 Essay

[0:00]Today is the 25th anniversary of the attacks on September 11th, 2001.

[0:06]Both of my episodes today, this and the one featuring Leo Bell's book,

[0:12]commemorate that day. I thought I would redo an essay I wrote that I published

[0:18]on October 1st, so a couple weeks after the events of September 11th,

[0:24]called Moving On. I published it in my business school newspaper. I had just started

[0:28]Harvard Business School a couple weeks after leaving New York where I had been living with Stacey,

[0:34]my friend who died that day. And this is what I wrote.

[0:40]Essays get me through everything. I wrote this 25 years ago and just wanted to share it today

[0:47]as a way to honor Stacey, to honor all the people who have been lost, to honor all of us who have

[0:52]moved on from anything. Moving On. I lost my best friend last week in the World Trade Center

[0:59]Instant, although I'm trying very hard to make my life go quote back to normal. I'm slowly realizing

[1:05]this may be one goal that's just unattainable, even for a first-year HBS student. Stacey and I met

[1:11]the first day of college and became best friends practically overnight. We lived across the

[1:16]hall from each other freshman year and then lived together for the following three years at Yale.

[1:20]I moved to LA after graduation, but when I moved back home to New York, I lived with Stacey for

[1:25]another year until I left for school of the summer. And I think she came on more family

[1:29]vacations with me than my brother did. The fact that Stacey was killed by terrorists while just

[1:34]sitting at her desk on the 96th floor of Tower One is still incomprehensible to me. How could this

[1:40]have happened? Why Stacey? Why my best friend? Why those 6,400 people? If the plane had struck

[1:48]an hour before, she'd be alive and well and we could be dealing with a terrifying world events

[1:52]together, not a part. If she could be killed in such a random way, does that mean that my life

[1:57]is as much at risk as hers was? I could ask these questions all day and some days I do,

[2:03]but there aren't any answers. I can't crack this case. Instead, I have to just move on,

[2:08]unsettled, and complete, rattled. I went home for almost two weeks first to try to help

[2:14]find Stacey in the many New York hospitals post missing signs and search websites for news.

[2:20]Then I went home again to comfort her family, our friends, myself. While my peers were attending

[2:26]section parties and negotiating group deals for fleeces, I was taking samples of her DNA to the

[2:31]armory. While my classmates were learning about the operations of the Donner Company,

[2:36]I was speaking at her memorial service in front of a thousand people. But now I'm back. I'm sitting

[2:41]in my wretched front row center seat in section, contributing to class. I'm going to shed,

[2:46]reading my cases on the elliptical machine. I'm signing up for clubs is seven really too many,

[2:51]going to career services events, having dinner with new friends. I'm smiling at classmates,

[2:56]I pass on campus, I'm laughing at funny stories, I'm analyzing marketing decisions of random

[3:01]companies, and I'm deleting the eight million emails I get a day from various on-campus organizations.

[3:06]How is this possible? Just last week, I couldn't get out of bed. I couldn't see a movie without

[3:12]having a breakdown in the ladies' room. I couldn't talk or think about anything else.

[3:16]I couldn't go 10 minutes without consuming another thousand calories. Thank you,

[3:20]Intimence. What happened? Well, for one, I came back to school to an unbelievably supportive,

[3:26]amazing group of people. I came back to lengthy, compassionate emails from classmates,

[3:30]I barely knew. I came back to new acquaintances hugging me in the hallways. I came back to

[3:35]professors who went out of their way to include me in class and encouraged me to speak. I came

[3:39]back to an administration who asked me how everything was going and offered help and guidance.

[3:44]I came back to an abs class that shad in which I actually won the who can sustain the plank

[3:49]position the longest contest. I came back to a community that listened, that cared,

[3:54]that knew just what I needed, and how to make me feel better, and for that I am beyond grateful.

[4:00]I know my sense of personal loss will never fade. I know that no one will ever be able to replace

[4:06]Daisy, and I know that few people actually know how I feel right now. But that's okay. The most

[4:11]important thing is that I know that people here care, and I know that HBS will serve as a refuge

[4:16]from the trauma in my hometown as a place where I can be distracted enough to just keep going,

[4:22]a place where I can contribute, and a place where I know I can be happy again, and that has made

[4:26]all the difference. Thinking of everybody today on this solemn moment, wishing I could have

[4:36]had many, many more years with Stacy, and that all of you could have had more years with everybody

[4:44]you're missing today as well.